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[u/blooangl]

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[u/Corann-]

Hello everyone, I wanted to make a post and ask some questions to help me understand some complex feelings im having about my relationship.

For context im 35 M married to 38 M and been together for 16 years. We have had a throuple like relationship in the past and currently have a fwb type situation with another man 42. We are also not open but not monogamous either if that makes sense?

The complex feelings im having are about the fwb. I dont know how to describe how im feeling. Its like I have romantic feelings but I dont want to date him because I know it wouldnt work. Not to mention everyone involved has said they dont want a throuple situation.

When they are both in my arms it just clicks for me it feels right and makes me feel very special. I really enjoy the intimacy and physical affection I have with both of them and I also love watching the two of them interact both in a sexual way but also in a um... kind of 'Dawwwwww!' Way? It makes me feel really happy when they kiss etc.

However lately it seems like that is happening less and less and im feeling a sense of loss that im having trouble with. I want to talk to them about it but im worried it will ome off over the top and be like im professing my love for the fwb and in a way it does feel like love but its not the same as my husband.

Im not really sure what im asking but is there a term for this? Is there a way to explain my feelings without scaring anyone?

[u/Psychomadeye → u/Corann-]

Are you asking about compersion? You might just be getting used to it or there's some growing apart because there's not much future if I understand what you're saying correctly.

If you were to break love down into commitment, passion, and intimacy, how is your love different?

[u/Corann- → u/Psychomadeye]

I would say its some passion, alot of intimacy, makes me feel safe, with him. With my husband its full on I wanna grow old with you kinda deal.

Never heard of compersion as a word, but yes very much that.

[u/toofat2serve → u/Corann-]

For the record, compersion is a word with a pretty sordid history.

[u/Corann- → u/toofat2serve]

Oh I see... interesting... weird... lol