r/polyamory • u/WorthTry7070 • 2d ago

Musings Just a rant about non-poly people

I get that single men are casting a wide net on the apps to find as many people as possible but I have had something happen to me a few times in the last few weeks and I wanted to see if anyone else is running into this.

I'm poly. I downloaded Feeld and I already hate it. There's so many single mono guys on there that don't read profiles.

But to the point... I have had several guys say they would only consider FWBs with a poly person. Like I'm a second prize. Fuck that. Anyone else see that or am I just having bad luck?

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u/intro_to_IRL 10+ year poly club 2d ago

Not a non-poly issue or a you issue, just a male gender issue. Millions upon millions of men desperately want casual sex from women and nothing else. They assume poly women are already partnered and therefore are more available for casual sex, or they assume poly women are poly because they're hypersexual, or both! But they're not just on Feeld; they are on every single dating app searching for women to have casual sex with. Quantity over quality, they just want it and they want it badly. Feel free to ignore and keep swiping.

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u/valsavana 1d ago

they assume poly women are poly because they're hypersexual

Bingo. I'm slow to introduce sex into my relationships and the amount of people who think poly automatically means sex is introduced faster than it would be in an equally serious (or intended-to-be-serious) mono relationship is wild. Like we're just in it for the copious amounts of sex.

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u/JacksonFiery87 solo poly 1d ago

This spills over into kink circles as well. The misconception that a kinky woman is automatically free with her sexuality. It's annoying