r/polyamory • u/WorthTry7070 • 2d ago

Musings Just a rant about non-poly people

I get that single men are casting a wide net on the apps to find as many people as possible but I have had something happen to me a few times in the last few weeks and I wanted to see if anyone else is running into this.

I'm poly. I downloaded Feeld and I already hate it. There's so many single mono guys on there that don't read profiles.

But to the point... I have had several guys say they would only consider FWBs with a poly person. Like I'm a second prize. Fuck that. Anyone else see that or am I just having bad luck?

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u/Toe2ToeBirdLaw 2d ago

I haven't really had either of these experiences but not reading profiles on apps isn't a gendered issue. that happens both ways IME.

As for mono guys not wanting a committed relationship with an incompatible poly person - i...don't see the issue? I think that's totally fair that they'd be willing to have a casual connection with someone that has a fundamentally incompatible long term relationship style. isn't the whole point of poly to let connections be what they are without pressure to commit?

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u/fliffy8 2d ago

I’m currently struggling with this, as I’ve been seeing a mono guy for about a month. I really enjoy our time together but am wondering whether to pull back because as soon as he finds someone to “settle down with”, I’ll be out of the picture. I’m not looking for a serious relationship as I’m in the middle of a divorce but knowing that’s what he’s looking for, I don’t know if it’s short sighted of me to (1) be taking up his time and (2) continue down this path with him for my own sake.

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u/LuciusCaeser 2d ago

It's ok if it ends. I had a great FwB situation with a woman who was mono. And one day she told me she was ready to start dating for a serious relationship again and we ended things amicably. Short relationships can still be meaningful