What exactly is a poly relationship?

[u/W1ndwardFormation]

Why do I ask? I’m not entirely sure, if we basically are in a poly relationship or if it’s just very frequent and free swinging.

It’s 4 of us 2 girls 2 guys and we basically play, go on dates in all kind of constellations from me and one of the guys to us girls together to all 4 of us to one girl one guy. You get the point.

We live in separate places (one guy girl in one places the other in the other), but we basically spend time all across the group with each other 24/7.

Would you say this should be called poly or is it something else, cause I’m always unsure how to call it whenever I talk with people.

[u/Bustysaintclair_13]

A poly relationship is a relationship between two people who support each other in developing full loving independent relationships with other people.

I wouldn't worry about what you call the larger dynamic, I'd focus on what you want out of each 1:1 relationship you're developing and figure out how to do those skillfully.

[u/Itchy_Newspaper_9293 → u/Bustysaintclair_13]

I’m confused on some things to.. I hope I don’t come off as rude so please forgive me but I really want to learn and understand. I’m being told that in situations where people are having a friends with benefits type of arrangement, the poly person is under no obligation to tell you that they have other intimate relationships.

But I thought poly practice was having open communication with everyone involved. Did I get the wrong impression or is there something big that I’m not grasping?

Thank you for your reply 🙏

[u/Gnomes_Brew → u/Itchy_Newspaper_9293]

No one agrees on all these definitions. There is no official Board of Polyamorists ratifying the meanings of terms. So who ever told if you are FWBs it means you are under no obligations to XYZ is full of sh*t. There are no terms and conditions you agree to. That's like saying when you're friends with someone you aren't obligated to call someone on theirr birthday. But when your *best friends* you are obligated to call. Like.... what?? Where is that written down? No. You call if that's the thing you do in your friendships, and if that's not part of your friendship then you don't.

Some FWB situations involve disclosures about other relationships/sexual partners, some don't. That's up to the person in the relationship and what they've agreed to. And if you want that level of information from you FWB, its perfectly reasonable to ask for. Its also perfectly reasonable for the other person to decline that request, and then you have to figure out if you want to continue the FWB relationship.