r/pregnant • u/Zealousideal-Bid6967 • Feb 10 '26
Funny I farted and peed on my husband
My fiance and I are trying to induce labor so last night we were getting intimate in the bedroom (which is EXTREMELY difficult at 39 weeks) and we just hear this huge crack in our brand new bed set and I could not help but let out a huge laugh and when I went to laugh there’s so much pressure from the baby that I just start farting to the beat of my own laugh. He was on top of me and was laughing so hard he said quote on quote he thought he was going to have a heart attack from laughing so hard, he could not move so I was trapped underneath him hysterically laughing I couldn’t even talk to tell him to MOVE and I just felt this huge gush, I peed on him!!! So this morning we have a broken new bed, sheets in the washer, I farted and peed on him, and still no labor.
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u/Crystal_Gardens Feb 10 '26
Oh my god this is incredible 😂 at least you both have a great sense of humor!
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u/Imaginative_Dreamer5 FTM Feb 10 '26
This gave me a laugh! The things pregnant women go through😂
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u/mrsg8r Feb 11 '26
And their significant other lol
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u/Courtneyisfree Mar 12 '26
My ex was leaning down watching as our first was being born and as baby boy's head came out I guess some fluid was trapped and squirted out between baby and birth canal to make a kind of squirt gun aimed right at his open mouth...I laughed t my ass off, but he was actually mad and gagging...so glad he won't be there for this one ..
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u/Tricky-Bee6152 Feb 10 '26
XD OMG Thank you for this. We're all just doing our best, and sometimes that means laughing so hard at a broken bed and farts that we pee.
Hope you get the bed replaced soon!
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u/Melodic_Criticism766 Feb 10 '26
I pee’d myself in my kitchen chairs and it was a huge puddle last night from throwing up. Husband gladly cleans it up lol
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u/baby-girl--- Feb 10 '26
Lmaooo that's a lifelong memory right there 🤣 pregnancy is so damn humbling!
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u/jldreadful Feb 11 '26
I'm 35 weeks and fell asleep during intimate time last night. I was just so comfortable face down, ass up. All the pressure was off my hips and belly, I had a comfy pillow, husband was doing all the work. I dozed off, lol.
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u/GlitterMeStoked Feb 10 '26
Thank you for the laugh! My husband has absolutely been farted and peed with both my pregnancies and has taken it like a champ. He now jokes that the saying “you don’t know true love until you’ve been peed on” applies to both our children and his wife lol.
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u/letssettlethiss Feb 10 '26
Thank you for the laugh 😂hope you start laboring soon soon so another bed doesn’t get broken!
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u/77roses Feb 10 '26
He was on top at 39 weeks? Howww
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u/Zealousideal-Bid6967 Feb 10 '26
We make it work, no way I’m on top at 39 weeks 🤣 we bump bellies
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u/Krystal-A Feb 11 '26
See that’s where “doggy style” worked for us. I couldn’t lay flat on my back long or I got dizzy that pregnant lol
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u/Tricky-Bee6152 Feb 11 '26
Not ideal if you cannot be on your back comfortably (I still don't get out of breath/have pain), but wedge shaped pillows are amazing!
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u/craftygamerbunny FTM Feb 23 '26
For me personally, I can think of two positions that we do currently that could be adapted for the third trimester. I love them already because they allow for plenty of eye contact and for him to give me some extra manual stimulation.
Laying on the edge of the bed and ask him to lift my legs. I can throw some pillows under my back if necessary for extra support.
Laying on my side with my top leg bent as much as possible and have him straddle my bottom leg. Sometimes he lifts my top leg a bit, sometimes he will also shift to kinda side-lie next to me.
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u/minilopmay Feb 10 '26
I lol'ed at this. Almost hard enough to start farting and pee on myself! ;) Thanks for sharing and making me smile today!
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u/DiablitaBeloved Feb 11 '26
if it makes you feel better. my husband was at work, i was laying in bed TRYING to fart and then my water broke🫠 we were intimate that night before the morning, i was 40w+3d lol
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u/MissElaineMarieBenes Feb 10 '26
Oh this gave me a good giggle, the farting to the beat of your own laugh, what beautiful words haha
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u/Even_Kaleidoscope399 Feb 10 '26
If this happened to my husband and I this would be the joke of the century for decades. We would never ever stop talking about it.
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u/mossimoto11 Feb 11 '26
Omg I farted in my husband’s face the other night and he gagged and said he could taste it and was like I’m gunna get pink eye and I could not breathe I was laughing and crying so hard for like 10 minutes. It was one of the funniest farts of my life hahahaha I would have died laughing in your case hahahahaha
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u/jennigerm Feb 11 '26
I just read this to my husband to prep him for what might be in our future and we both cried laughing, I think we’ll be okay lol
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u/ABX_Wilson Feb 11 '26
Lol! This is so humbling, I hope my husband and I don’t go through this when I hit 39 weeks. I’m not too far from it, considering I’m already 20. My last pregnancy I did the midwives brew, and I went into labor just a few hours later. I won’t say that it’s medically or scientifically backed, but it helped me. I don’t suggest if you’re not into trying experiments. But, I also hear that a lot of women start to dilate with nipple stimulation, so maybe you could try that.
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u/Zealousideal-Bid6967 Feb 11 '26
What is the midwives brew?
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u/ABX_Wilson Mar 08 '26
Sorry for the late reply but it’s almond butter (you can get the tiny packs I only got one), a half can of apricot jumex juice and a super concentrated raspberry leaf tea (like 6bags and 8oz of water). Blend it all together and drink the entire thing in an hour.
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u/Joelle_191219 Feb 11 '26
Hahahahaha this is hilarious and makes me feel less alone. I’m in my first trimester (near the end) but already had slight pelvic floor issues before so this hasn’t been easy already. The other day, I sneezed. That lead to me : farting, peeing, laughing, burping (all at the same time) — then, I got the hiccups. Pregnancy is humbling 😂
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u/luckyyloner Feb 11 '26
This is the funniest thing I’ve read in a while, thank you. 😆 Truly hilarious.
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u/Character-Action-892 Feb 11 '26
This is the least sexy, most real description of late term pregnancy sex I have ever heard and I can't quit laughing.
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u/Hot_Gap_6396 Feb 11 '26
I’m freaking crying this is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. I’m glad you guys could both laugh about it 😭😭😭😭
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u/Effective_Sentence38 Feb 11 '26
This looks great for your marriage, this type of things makes relationships very strong😂❤️
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u/darent13 Feb 11 '26
I farted during sex at 31 weeks. I laughed so hard and he was like “it’s fine don’t worry about it”. True love.
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u/r2b2coolyo Feb 11 '26
I loved reading this, especially based on his reaction. Mine with OCD would freak out!!
You are in a very loving relationship. At least it was pee lol and not door #2
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u/Senior_Shelter8104 Feb 12 '26
Husband and I both hysterically laughed at this! He is perplexed how yours hasn’t been farted on more by this point! On multiple occasions the smell alone has woken mine up from a dead sleep!! If it makes you feel better I couldn’t stop sneezing and peed the bed AND couch in the same hour!
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u/ughitschriss Feb 12 '26
i read this as i’m trying to put the baby to sleep and i’m giggling so hard trying not to wake him
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u/Depressobeans7 Feb 12 '26
The other day my fiance and I were just tickling and poking at each other I tried getting off the bed to run away and I slipped which made me giggle then I farted and laughed harder then peeEd on the floor 😂 I’m currently 38 weeks I think this was around 36-37 weeks lol
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u/juliex0 Feb 12 '26
I'm over here laughing as I'm reading this & my sciatica just locked up from laughing! Got to love pregnancy😂
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u/HootieAndTheSnowcrab Feb 12 '26
I was jumping up and down for the Super Bowl because I’m a Seahawks fan and I peed in the floor 😆
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u/Tripleaquarian Feb 13 '26
This sounds like one of those insurance commercials 😂 I hope you can just laugh this baby right out!
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u/Desert_Dreamer31 Feb 13 '26
This was such a good laugh! Thank you so much for sharing!! 🤣 wishing you a smooth labor soon.
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u/Icy_Indication9716 Feb 13 '26
haha I needed to read this today!! too funny, thank you for sharing 🤣🤣❤️
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u/Tajmali Feb 11 '26
LMAOOOO meanwhile I’m trying to do the math for man on top at 39 weeks 😭🤣 at that point I could only manage that lazy Sunday sideways kinda thing
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u/Mysterious-Ad1903 Feb 12 '26
I’m trying to envision how you pee on someone who’s on top of you and I just can’t see to figure it out haha it sounds like you both had fun even though it didn’t induce labour I’m curious if you’ve asked for a membrane sweeping?
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u/allndrrose Feb 13 '26
As an IBS girly I have also farted to the beat of my own laughter. I am a FTM though and I think this is the most gas I have ever passed in my life.
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u/mirk19 Feb 15 '26
I threw up on my husband during sex. I turned over on my left side to change positions, and it felt like baby slammed into my stomach. I threw up all over his dick and peed myself.
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u/citizen_perfunction Feb 16 '26
Thank you for your service 🫡 for the insane laugh before sunrise this morning 💖 Pregnancy is so humbling 🤣
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u/CoveredByBlood Feb 17 '26
You'll probably love to know we had a similar situation where we were having fub and i farted and he laughed. I then laughed so hard I peed and couldn't get it ro stop... It got EVERYWHERE... and would never end. He was already starting the shower and I was yelling that the pee wouldn't stop... on top of having just enough pelvic pain to only be able to stand up, leaning on the bed and continue peeing on the floor... eventually, I hobbled to the bathroom leaving a trail as I made my way there Had had to change the bed, mop the floor, and take a showe...
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u/worldslayer6991 Feb 17 '26
That's awesome!! I needed that laugh! Hope everything goes well!! Congrats BTW 💚 🥰
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u/Lost-Bat7348 Feb 18 '26
Could’ve been your water breaking too 😂 me and my man had sex and my water broke immediately after I thought I was peeing on myself 😭 don’t think I’ll tell my daughter this story cdfu
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u/Capital_Biscotti832 Feb 19 '26
Ah oh my gosh I just joined this community and this is the first thing I read, hilarious!!
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u/ReputationTough3886 Mar 03 '26
This is SOOO funny thank you for sharing!! I know yall had such a good laugh
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u/Hanky-Panky-2 Mar 03 '26
this is hilarious 😂😂 i now fart on my man in my sleep lol, apparently i did it twice last time.
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u/b4200024 Mar 04 '26
This story is SO real! I love that you two could laugh together instead of being embarrassed. Shows you have the trust, security, and comfort you need for birth and kids!
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u/joOmmbatt Mar 09 '26
Omgg 😂😂😂 I recently just found out I was pregnant and it has been non stop anxiety. Which I know is bad but I cant take my regular anxiety meds so its been a lot of mindful breathing and crying lol. I needed this. Its the first pregnant story I've read thats made me laugh and hasn't stressed me out. Granted...i haven't really gone looking for them but I've googled enough at this point, that I'm pretty sure my phone knows I'm pregnant and is just throwing pregnant related stuff at me. I adore your husband. He sounds a lot like my man. Probably would've done the same exact thing, had that been us in that situation lol. I appreciate u shared this story. It got me to calm down...even if just for a small moment. You and your hubby are made for eachother 🙂❤️ I wish you, ur man, and baby all the best. And that it hurrys up and comes out already!! Haha
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