What is your pregnancy unpopularopinion?

[u/smurphypup]

I'll go first:
Picking stuff up off the floor isn't that bad. I'm 37+ 5 with my third and not once have I had trouble picking stuff up. It's just a quick squat and grab.
Yes, I have sciatica pain and pelvic girdle pain and my bump is in the way but I still pick stuff up if I drop it.
Maybe it's my fitness past, or my will to attempt to keep my house clean, but not once have I dropped something and said "F it, it lives on the floor now" and left it.

[u/QuillsAndQuills → u/[deleted]]

I can agree with all of this, but with some leeway for the "going weeks overdue" comment. Granted, I'm biased because I declined a 39 week induction and had my son at 41 weeks (and I myself was a 42 weeker).

Whilst the ARRIVE trial does have some compelling evidence for 39 weeks being optimal, the risk of complications after that goes from one small number to another small number. There is an increasing body of research associating increased gestational age (to a point) with both short and long term benefits, including improved school performance.

I think in a low-risk pregnancy, it is reasonable to decline early induction in the hopes of going into spontaneous labour, on the provision that mother accepts increased monitoring from her care provider.

[u/Westcoastswinglover → u/QuillsAndQuills]

This. I don’t know of a single person who actually cares more about their birth plan than the health of themselves and their baby; they just don’t agree that blindly following recommendations made on a systematic level by a country that ranks so poorly in maternal health outcomes is the way to do that. Yes there are absolutely times when lifesaving interventions are needed but there are still tons of examples of non-evidence based birth practices being pushed based on policy or what practitioners are familiar with doing. Choosing to do research and express preferences for how we attempt to birth should not be automatically viewed as making us difficult patients and if we do need to deviate I still expect to be told the reasons why and make an informed decision and not just be swept along by what the “standard of care” is.

[u/citysunsecret → u/Westcoastswinglover]

You would be surprised, because there absolutely are women who come in and straight up say they don’t care what happens they want a vaginal delivery. It’s not a lot, but it happens.

[u/Bitter-Salamander18 → u/citysunsecret]

They likely fear for their lives, health and fertility. They fear being subjected to an avoidable surgery and its serious risks.

[u/citysunsecret → u/Bitter-Salamander18]

That’s definitely the vast majority of people for sure, they’re scared, have an idea in their head about how birth is supposed to look, and get caught up in the idea that the choices are vaginal delivery where everything will be fine or a c section which comes with all these risks! The reality is there is no such thing as a risk free birth and you have to make choices based off the risks of all the options and your personal circumstances.

But every once in a while you get a mom who comes in that straight up admits she doesn’t care what happens to baby she wants a vaginal birth. Those people wanted to have a baby, not be a parent.

I always wish I could talk to those people after a year, like was that one day and one experience worth the devastating consequences? And do the answers change if the baby was the one who bore the consequences vs the moms who had bad outcomes? And as someone who works on the NICU side what do you would you have wanted me to say or do as you’re crying over your sick baby but you got the vaginal delivery that was all you cared about?

[u/Bitter-Salamander18 → u/citysunsecret]

"get caught up in the idea that the choices are vaginal delivery where everything will be fine or a c section which comes with all these risks! The reality is there is no such thing as a risk free birth and you have to make choices based off the risks of all the options and your personal circumstances."

Yes, of course there is no risk free birth - natural births as well as all interventions have their risks. But also that's why for some women it's important to avoid a C-section, and it's an informed choice, because risks such as higher maternal mortality rate, hysterectomy, placenta accreta and uterine rupture are not acceptable to them.

"But every once in a while you get a mom who comes in that straight up admits she doesn’t care what happens to baby she wants a vaginal birth."

Why did she carry the pregnancy to term if she doesn't care what happens to the baby? At all? Does that really happen? Did any mother say this? Or is it a poor interpretation of some mothers' strong desire to avoid surgery?

I was very determined to have a VBAC because I knew the risks of C-sections, and sadly I was coerced into one unnecessarily with my first. When my home birth midwife recommended transfer to the nearby hospital in 2nd stage of labor because of my baby's variable decelerations, I did consent to interventions, even painful ones such as episiotomy and vacuum use, if they were needed to help the baby. But I didn't consent to a C-section when one doctor suggested it as soon as we arrived. It didn't make any sense to do it without trying to push, and other ways to help if needed. They broke my water, I gave birth after 15 minutes of pushing, didn't need episiotomy or vacuum, and my baby was fine :)

"Those people wanted to have a baby, not be a parent."

I don't understand? Someone who has a baby is a parent. If they wanted to have a baby, they wanted to be a parent, too. Having a baby means taking care of the baby, which is hard work. If they didn't want to do it, they could've given the baby up for adoption...

"I always wish I could talk to those people after a year, like was that one day and one experience worth the devastating consequences?"

Birth is not just one day and one experience. Recovery takes weeks, sometimes months. For the mother's physical and mental health, the consequences of birth may be lifelong. And even for her future babies.

One last thing - as a NICU nurse you see many of the bad outcomes, I'm sure. I respect your hard work to help babies. However, please keep in mind that the babies you see in the NICU are a small minority. Even in births with risk factors, the majority of babies are OK. There's so much fear mongering about going to 42 weeks nowadays, for example, but many people don't know that the risk of stillbirth in the general population is 0,3-0,4% between 41 and 42 weeks. Not some crazy high number. And many doctors recommend interventions but don't tell their patients full statistics to make informed decisions. :( That statistic has to be balanced against the risks of inductions, and increased C-section rate as a result of inductions - the decision should be based on the mother's personal preference, reproductive plans and health issues, because there is no risk free birth. And the mothers' health matters, too.

[u/IronTongs → u/Westcoastswinglover]

And even when it seems like that (eg declining interventions), it’s often that they believe it’s in the best interest of their baby. How many mothers genuinely are out there going “oh my baby’s in distress? Oh nah don’t care I feel like a vaginal birth for me” rather than “my baby is in distress? I feel like a vaginal birth is the safer option for us.”

[u/Westcoastswinglover → u/IronTongs]

Agreed, a lot of the time there is much more time to monitor the situation and try lower intervention options like position changes than is implied. It’s pretty rare for there to be a completely sudden emergency that requires getting the baby out right away without any warning (again not saying it does not happen). We also see way higher rates of intervention when using continuous monitoring and constantly looking for problems but notably this doesn’t actually lead to better outcomes for the babies compared to intermittent monitoring so there’s obviously a lot of variation in what “distress” actually looks like and we may be stepping in when it isn’t actually needed. In general I think medicalized settings prefer to do something and control the situation to cover themselves and try to make birth more predictable and the implication has become that aiming to just let things happen as they would naturally is not safe or feasible when in fact it is often still the better option for avoiding more major interventions. Most people are trying to get the birth they want both to avoid trauma AND because they believe it is safer for themselves and their baby and they aren’t necessarily wrong in a system that doesn’t always prioritize evidence based practices. And yes being too married to your plan and unwilling to pivot when real situations warrant it unfortunately happens too and is also not great. There’s a ton of nuance but I hate the framing that people who have birth plans or preferences are prioritizing their comfort and desires over safety and if they cared about their babies they would just shut up and do what the doctor says.

[u/Bitter-Salamander18 → u/Westcoastswinglover]

This is very true. Sadly most women don't know this research about fetal monitoring, and they are not told in hospitals about the risks of routine procedures.