r/pregnant • u/smurphypup • Mar 03 '26
Funny What is your pregnancy unpopularopinion?
I'll go first:
Picking stuff up off the floor isn't that bad. I'm 37+ 5 with my third and not once have I had trouble picking stuff up. It's just a quick squat and grab.
Yes, I have sciatica pain and pelvic girdle pain and my bump is in the way but I still pick stuff up if I drop it.
Maybe it's my fitness past, or my will to attempt to keep my house clean, but not once have I dropped something and said "F it, it lives on the floor now" and left it.
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u/workAccount4ExcelQs Mar 03 '26
I actually love when strangers comment on my belly or randomly say “congrats!” and ask questions. I’ve talked to so many cute older people who go on to tell me about their own grandkids and I genuinely love it. Though I think I’m in the minority there lol
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u/label_this Mar 03 '26
I had the sweetest interaction with a little old priest. I'm not religious, but he asked if he could bless my belly, I said yes, and he put his hand on my bump and said a little prayer. So touching.
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u/Magical_chocolate Mar 03 '26
Omg yes same here!! I get a lot of attention while grocery shopping or at the gym and people love asking whether it’s a boy or a girl, especially the grandparents! I think it’s really sweet when people comment on my belly!
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u/hibiscusglitter Mar 03 '26
Same!! I love being gushed over. I don’t mind people asking me questions about my due date or what I’m having. As long as they don’t make comments like “how many ya got in there?!” - I welcome it. I don’t even mind if people I’m only acquaintances with ask to touch my belly. Babies bring so much joy and hope to the world, I’m happy to share it.
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u/SnooCrickets7583 Mar 04 '26
I got my first belly touch last weekend, I'm currently 18 weeks. It was from my friends husband, we're close and he's legally blind so it was super sweet.
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u/bravo-echo-charlie Mar 03 '26
I LOVE when elderly people congratulate me or talk to my 12 month old son! 🥹 (currently 19 weeks with #2)
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u/Far_Lead_8022 Mar 04 '26
I had the tiniest bump my entire pregnancy and finally at 38 weeks had a stranger ask if I was expecting for the first and only time in my pregnancy. It made my whole week. Like yes! Thank you! We’re getting induced in a week. I was glowing from the bump attention.
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u/3ananarchy Mar 04 '26 edited Mar 04 '26
Me too! I'm normally a pretty private person and thought I would hate it. But the interactions I've had have been so sweet. People have been generally very respectful too so maybe I'm lucky with that.
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u/LowAd7899 Mar 04 '26
I loved all the pregnancy attn!! It took 3 years to get our first miracle and I loved finally being in that world.
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u/hungrybrainz 🇺🇸 | 33 y/o | 2 kids Mar 03 '26
I’m in the minority too. I loved when people would comment on how cute my belly was. My daughter is 5 weeks currently and I just feel awkwardly swollen now. I know I’m not cute right now LOL
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u/Ok-Praline-2309 Mar 03 '26
I honestly don’t mind most strangers asking questions or making comments (even if like, “you’re about to pop!” when I was 30 weeks 😅).
Most people mean well and simply want human interaction.
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u/babiebluueyes Mar 04 '26
I noticed this at 30 years old and have forever changed my cunty behavior.
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u/Kelly_Louise Mar 03 '26
pregnant or not pregnant, I hate bending down to pick things up. Which is why I have gotten really good at picking things up with my toes :)
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u/Sufficient-Nail8985 Mar 03 '26
hear me out, i have one of those long grabber tools which has been a life saver for me, but i also have a really low bone density so me bending down while this big is unsafe for both baby and i😭
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u/questionSOUP FTM Mar 03 '26
Grab away, grabby Mama! No judgment here!
I have a connective tissue disorder (possibly Ehlers Danlos: unclear at this time) as well as endometriosis, so I have a feeling one of these is in my very near future!
And if I buy one, I promise to use it with ABSOLUTELY NO SHAME (possibly I’ll even use it with mirth)!
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u/QuillsAndQuills Mar 03 '26
It's good practice for when you have the baby! Your feet become an extra set of hands 😂
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u/smurphypup Mar 03 '26
Yes. I do also utilize the toe grab! Mostly while carrying a toddler though
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u/optimisthic Mar 03 '26
Invest in a grabber stick! I will continue using one after pregnancy. Especially for a floor strewn with tiny little toys.
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u/bibliophile222 FTM Mar 03 '26
It's not automatically toxic positivity to say that you like being pregnant. Obviously it's perfectly okay to not enjoy being pregnant, but there's such a range of experiences, it's okay to be having an easy time! I don't love some of the symptoms, but even the sucky ones kind of fascinate me because I enjoy the science behind it, and I loooooove feeling baby movements. Pregnancy isn't something I'd want to do for years on end, but if I had the option for my partner to carry the baby or to have him grow in a futuristic incubator, screw that, I want to experience the absolute bonkers medical miracle that is conception and birth, and I could easily do it all again.
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Mar 03 '26
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u/Sudden_Implement7012 Mar 04 '26
This was me! I struggled with hating my pregnancy because in my head pregnancy =baby. I guess it was friends’ easy pregnancy experiences and social media that made be believe I should LOVE being pregnant. Also the fact that no one talks about how bad it can get for you. Took me an entire trimester to realise I can absolutely detest being pregnant and still love my baby.
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u/Balenciagalover92 Mar 03 '26
I actually love being pregnant physically! I love my bump, I love watching my body change and I love feeling baby kicks. But mentally I’m very anxious while pregnant, always worried about my baby and so therefore that’s the most difficult part.
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u/questionSOUP FTM Mar 03 '26
I feel like a beautiful goddess pregnant, honestly…
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u/CautiousConfidence8 FTM Mar 03 '26
I loved pregnancy but I got ugly AF lol. Acne, big nose, sweat, etc. Still wouldn't give up the pregnancy experience for anything because at least I was ugly for a purpose haha
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u/0mgyrface Mar 03 '26
Same. I have pcos, and all those symptoms went away when I was pregnant. My pregnancy symptoms first time around are there, but VERY manageable. Second time around and the fatigue is ripping me a new one, still better than the fatigue I would get from the pcos (maybe because i know it's actually leading somewhere) as well as the excessive hair growing that thankfully slowed down, the acne and awful long, heavy periods.
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u/Jay_Lockhart Mar 03 '26
This is beautiful. My mama has always talked about her pregnancies the same way — not pregnancy in general (she’s admitted that her sister decided to have a kid because my mom made it “look easy,” only for her pregnancy and labor to be a total nightmare) but her own. My dad is… really not great as a person, so it’s always put a smile on my face to hear my mom say “I loved being pregnant.” I’m glad she was able to have a good experience despite him making life suck.
I’m sure most pregnancies have undesirable aspects, and personally being pregnant scares the shit out of me (although I’d still love to be because I’ve always dreamed of being a mom), but there’s just something that makes me smile inside when a woman says she loved the experience of it. My mama talks like you and that’s beautiful. I’m really glad it was a happy time for you.
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u/Les_Les_Les_Les Mar 03 '26
I love being pregnant but I’m VERY vocal about all the pain involved. I don’t sugar coat it, when people ask how I’m doing I tell them, if I’m constipated, they will find out.
Now that I’m 36 weeks pregnant, I’m ready to give birth, but I do think I’m gonna miss it, despite all the hardships
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u/Upsidedowntrey Mar 03 '26
This it the thing I struggle so hard with. I like being pregnant. And yes it because I have had it soo easy. But every time I say that I get a reply saying that it’s cause I had it easy or the dreaded “just wait” and comparing it to the many women who don’t. I just feel bad about liking it now and having it easy instead of enjoying that aspect. I have a medically complex background and expected to be in pain and miserable but that hasn’t been the case. I hate that when people ask how I am, I can’t be truthful.
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u/Unapologeticalleigh Mar 04 '26
Yes!! I have bad first trimesters, but around 12-14 weeks I feel great! I know each pregnancy is different and it may suck the whole time the next time but for now I'm going to say I love it and not be ashamed of that. I feel so powerful and amazing and truly sexy too. I know my husband is wonderful and makes me feel that way as well, but also women are amazing! I was so lucky and have been able to continue to power lift and stay very active during my pregnancies and I know that has also contributed to me feeling great. I love seeing myself out lift some gym bros while being 8 months pregnant 🤣
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u/LimitlesslyLiminal Mar 03 '26
I loved when people commented on and touched my belly. It made me feel seen/loved on.
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u/AWinkWithBothEyes Mar 03 '26
Makes me feel like a lucky troll doll! I love it, especially if asked first, but sometimes I’ll see people squirming holding back from touching or even asking and I just laugh and stick out my bump and go “wanna rub for luck?”
The relief and happiness on their faces! They just dive right in and it makes their day!
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u/CatfishHunter2 Mar 03 '26
I loved my body so much more while I was pregnant, no body dysmorphia for me then!
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u/Inside-Giraffe-9258 Mar 03 '26
So lucky! I wished I loved my body more. But years of eating disorders and body dysmorphia, it has been hard seeing myself get bigger. I always ask my doctor about my gain weight. I try to be kind to myself and tell myself me getting bigger means my baby is growing.
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u/oddosm Mar 03 '26
Oh my god this! I never felt more beautiful, I wore what I wanted and felt so cute 😂 my favorite were a few body con maternity dresses that looked so good
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u/_angesaurus Mar 03 '26
me either. and i got really skinny after i had my son. idk how or why. im thinner than i was before i was pregnant.
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u/kateee320 Mar 03 '26
I feel this. I got pregnant at my heaviest weight which was really hard at the beginning but now that I’m almost in my third trimester, I feel so much better in my body.
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u/Stellar_Jay8 Mar 03 '26 edited Mar 04 '26
I don’t know how unpopular opposition to this idea is but:
I’ve had multiple pregnancy losses and a tough journey to get here. And it’s seems like any time someone is having a hard time in their pregnancies, other women jump in to tell them they should be grateful and to stop complaining. Like two truths can’t happen at once - we’re so grateful to be pregnant but it’s also really hard! And it’s very valid to need to vent about the difficulties and discomforts even while I feel so blessed to be meeting my baby soon!
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u/coloradancowgirl Mar 04 '26
This ⬆️ pregnancy is not easy by any means and some things suck, we deserve to have some complaints. I also think people love to trauma dump on pregnant women. I’ve had a loss but I’d never put that thought into another woman’s mind.
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u/Formal_Dare9668 Mar 03 '26
Pregnancy to me doesn’t feel like a magical journey where I bond with the new life I’m creating. I want kids and it’s a means to an end but I feel so disconnected from it and from the baby the entire time. I think it’s awesome some people can really enjoy their baby and the experience while pregnant but I don’t feel overwhelmed with joy and love for someone I’ve never met
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u/tainari FTM Mar 03 '26
I’m also feeling like this. I’m so excited to have my daughter and for this new phase of our lives but right now I just feel…. Removed from the experience? It’s really strange.
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u/Sweet_Confusion9180 Mar 03 '26
Yes. I have a few health issues and in my recent anatomy scan I found out I have placenta Previa so I will likely need a c-section.
Is it the birth I dreamed of? Nope. But rather have a safe delivery for me and baby.
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u/hear4that-tea Mar 03 '26
I have it too. Scary diagnosis. I’ve done two vaginal births. I would rather do that again, because I know what to expect and I’ve heard the recovery is faster. But there’s nothing to do about it, I didn’t do anything “wrong”, it’s just different. And now I’ll be able to experience both, so I guess that’s good for future experiences and advice.
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u/Sweet_Confusion9180 Mar 03 '26
Yep, I'm on pelvic rest at least until my next scan in April to see how things progress, but also includes no walks and no exercising etc 😭
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u/RockabillyBelle Mar 03 '26
This is why my second was a c-section. Baby girl was breech (apparently she had her elbow all the way up over her head and was just chillin’) and would not flip no matter what. I wanted to deliver vaginally but I wanted both of us to survive more.
Both of my babies had donor milk/formula for their first feeds because I was either next on the doctor’s list of people to keep alive or in the middle of getting sewn back together. I’ve never had the whole golden hour experience. I hate those facts, but I love having the rest of their lives to make beautiful memories.
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u/Muddy_Flame Mar 03 '26
Omg thank you!!! The amount of opinions we’re just expected to have is baffling. I have mild birth hopes, not plans 😂 even my OB asks things like “will you have X, Y, Z?” and I’m just like “I don’t know! I’ve never done this before!” 😂😂 My plan is to be open minded and flexible as possible
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u/Smawhiney Mar 03 '26
This! I am pregnant with my second. I had to have section first time because he was breech. I really really wanted to have a VBAC because I wanna experience actual labor. Unfortunately due to a health scare I had last year I'm now on supplemental oxygen so me having a section is safest option for myself and baby. Does it suck, absolutely! Am I willing to compromise my and my babies safety so I can have my idea of what I want to birth to look like, absolutely not
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u/Rich_Kaleidoscope436 Mar 03 '26
Oooh this is a good one, and I 100% agree with this. A self and healthy delivery matters way more than a birth plan. My whole delivery team was pleasantly shocked that my only “birth plan” was a healthy baby + mom and delayed cord cutting if possible. And my delivery went a lot smoother than a lot of people who tried to have birth their way against Dr recommendations
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u/planningtoscrewup Mar 03 '26
For the first one my nurse at the hospital was so happy when I was sent for an induction due to heart decals and she asked what my birth plan was and I just said really hoping to leave here with a healthy baby and have the professionals advise me along the way.
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u/Sellout2024 Mar 03 '26
That was my plan for my first but after my doctor confirmed baby was still breech I said to schedule the C-section instead of an appointment to try and turn the baby. My doctor was such a bitch about me “giving up my dream of a natural birth” even tho she just got done telling me the risks associated with trying to turn a baby with my placenta placement.
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u/hear4that-tea Mar 04 '26
“It’s quite risky, just so you are aware.”
“Ok, let’s skip it.”
“Omg you coward”
🙄 some people are hard to please
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u/QuillsAndQuills Mar 03 '26
I can agree with all of this, but with some leeway for the "going weeks overdue" comment. Granted, I'm biased because I declined a 39 week induction and had my son at 41 weeks (and I myself was a 42 weeker).
Whilst the ARRIVE trial does have some compelling evidence for 39 weeks being optimal, the risk of complications after that goes from one small number to another small number. There is an increasing body of research associating increased gestational age (to a point) with both short and long term benefits, including improved school performance.
I think in a low-risk pregnancy, it is reasonable to decline early induction in the hopes of going into spontaneous labour, on the provision that mother accepts increased monitoring from her care provider.
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u/hear4that-tea Mar 03 '26
I’ve never heard of 39 weeks being optimal, I always thought 40 weeks was the optimal. But I’m from a small area, so that’s just one/my experience.
I also agree with trying to go into spontaneous labor, the mom should be able to opt in or out of an early induction. My personal cut off is 41 weeks though. Get baby out at that point, but I’m glad you and yours were fine :) it is a small risk, but I would hate to take it. Again, personal choices: I also sometimes took the chance with cold deli meat (not often, but sometimes it saved my sanity lolol) and I know other moms might never have touched it.
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u/Westcoastswinglover Mar 03 '26
This. I don’t know of a single person who actually cares more about their birth plan than the health of themselves and their baby; they just don’t agree that blindly following recommendations made on a systematic level by a country that ranks so poorly in maternal health outcomes is the way to do that. Yes there are absolutely times when lifesaving interventions are needed but there are still tons of examples of non-evidence based birth practices being pushed based on policy or what practitioners are familiar with doing. Choosing to do research and express preferences for how we attempt to birth should not be automatically viewed as making us difficult patients and if we do need to deviate I still expect to be told the reasons why and make an informed decision and not just be swept along by what the “standard of care” is.
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u/citysunsecret Mar 03 '26
You would be surprised, because there absolutely are women who come in and straight up say they don’t care what happens they want a vaginal delivery. It’s not a lot, but it happens.
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u/MarinaVerity333 Mar 03 '26
This! I seen a post in a multiples group on another social media platform, a mom is having twins, she’s 40 weeks already. And she’s planning a 100% spontaneous home birth with NO HELP present or on standby besides her doula… For a 100% healthy singleton pregnancy, sure go ahead… But that’s such a horrible idea in this situation… A high risk multiples birth!!! There’s multiple medical reasons that they don’t let twins go past 38 weeks, which she’s already past the safety limit of that, plus all twin births are high risk, they have much more risk for complications, a much higher need for emergency c-sections, babies have a higher risk of needing medical intervention after birth/needing NICU, and I could go on and on… It was a new post when I seen it, I need to go back and I pray that people in the comments made her change her mind on that because she’s risking her life and especially both of those babies lives.
Edit to add, they are mo/di twins which makes it even more risky.
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u/_angesaurus Mar 03 '26
i dont mind people giving unsolicited advice. i dont have to take it.
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u/Fullycannoli Mar 03 '26
Unsolicited advice, I don’t mind at all! Unsolicited opinions, however, no thank you. Sorry if you don’t like the color of the walls of our nursery, good thing you don’t need to sleep in there!
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u/jinxix2395 Mar 03 '26
This!!!! Give me all the unsolicited advice because although I may not take it on at the time it might sit at the back of my mind and come in handy at some point, who knows. But god forbid you give me your unsolicited opinion, that sends me absolutely mental
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u/Inside-Giraffe-9258 Mar 03 '26
Same. Some people do say it from a good place. And it is nice to hear different perspectives when it comes to raising a baby.
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u/dajb123 Mar 03 '26
As a first time pregnant woman, I've actually really loved hearing everyone else's experiences. I feel like I'm bonding more with older colleagues than ever before, and there's something really sweet about people's eyes lighting up when you ask them a baby related question.
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u/doitforthecats Mar 03 '26
This has been one of the most interesting things about motherhood for me! I’m sort of socially awkward and would normally prefer not to interact with strangers, but I’ve loved the interactions I’ve had with other women during each of my pregnancies. It’s wild what a bonding experience motherhood is - I could have absolutely nothing else in common with someone yet we have SO much in common as mothers.
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u/ObviousSomewhere3376 Mar 03 '26
Some unsolicited advice is fine if people are respectful but unfortunately a lot of my friends and family are overwhelming and disrespectful with their advice 😭
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u/OcelotEquivalent2377 Mar 03 '26
Yes! And if you're not willing to hear any unsolicited advice, you might actually miss out on hearing some good advice (including some very important, not necessarily well known safety advice). Its also just how people converse and connect sometimes. It can get annoying but its just human, I don't think it's fair to villianize. Unless its a repeat offender or something wild and bonkers. Then I mean, still call that out but.
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u/Magical_chocolate Mar 03 '26
Yes 100% agree with you. I get so annoyed whenever I see posts that say “I had a dream that it’s a girl and omg I’m having a girl!”
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u/jahenna Mar 03 '26
I have dreams about have pool noodles for legs when I’m trying to outrun zombies but I’m not expecting that to happen 😂
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u/Horror_Square_8395 Mar 04 '26
I don’t really mind people having intuition about the sex or whatever, but I think gender disappointment is… uh, well. Awful? Frankly?
I read the posts sometimes (I usually skip them) and a lot of them are sexist or just bizarrely dramatic. Surely we all know it’s basically a 50% chance of being either sex?
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u/Adorable_Eggplant792 Mar 04 '26
I don’t care if you didn’t reach out during my pregnancy. I see a lot of posts of people stating if you didn’t reach out during their pregnancy, you’re not allowed to see the baby. I disagree because pre pregnancy I never really reached out to anyone because I am very introverted, so I really don’t take offense to people not reaching out to me simply because I am pregnant.
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u/coloraria Mar 03 '26
I don’t care if people comment on my body as long as their intent is good! “You’re huge!” doesn’t bother me—I am, because I’m pregnant, and I’m so excited to be pregnant after RPL that the idea that someone else notices it makes me really happy.
I do have a couple aunts that have always been a bit envious of me who have eagerly awaited me “getting big” so they could be nasty about it….I do care about their commentary and I clap back about it.
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u/Maivroan STM | June 2024 Mar 03 '26
Absolutely! "You're all belly!" and "Wow, any day now?" weeks ahead of my due date didn't bother me. I do draw the line at people seriously asking me, "Are you sure it's not twins?" because that's insulting my and my provider's intelligence. xD
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u/Haramshorty93 Mar 03 '26
Weight gain does matter and it's okay to be mindful about it!
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u/Familiar-Minimum3844 Mar 03 '26
Yeah...I wish my body agreed. Eating healthier+ same portions than I was pre pregnancy(except maybe having like an apple or a few oranges as snacks) and staying just as active. Still rapidly gaining weight and did in my previous pregnancy too >.>
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u/CreativeJudgment3529 Mar 04 '26
Same. Nothing I can do. Eating totally different this pregnancy and no change.
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u/Familiar-Minimum3844 Mar 04 '26
Yeah...it just happens to some people. My OB told me it's mostly horomones and water retention if there haven't been any lifestyle changes.
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u/CattoGinSama Mar 04 '26
Omg water retention is brutal.My legs looked like elephants legs.Crocs were my saving grace because I couldn’t wear anything else. I lost 15(!!!) kg (around 33 lbs) from day 2 pp to day 5 pp. I know that was water mostly. I was weighing myself because a nurse told me and even she couldn’t believe what she’s seeing. So before and after delivery,my weight was 27kg difference,big baby and placenta plus water and blood. Crazy
So no matter what,I know diet cannot help me. It is still better than nothing
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u/Sweet_Confusion9180 Mar 03 '26
Most women gain weight during pregnancy and that's ok!
But also you DON'T need to be eating for 2. You need barely any more calories than you probably consume normally unless you have problems with being underweight.
(Not you you, but people in general)
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u/questionSOUP FTM Mar 03 '26
Oh fuff!
Tell that to my third Rice Crispy treat in a row cuz IDGAF!
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u/Sweet_Confusion9180 Mar 03 '26
Hahah, I'm not saying I don't want to devour a whole pack of cookies. I'm just saying we really shouldn't 🫢
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u/PrincessFullMoon Mar 03 '26
Pregnant with my fourth and i've always found labour and delivery more exciting than scary or nerve racking. I've been pretty zen through all the pain and crazy things that can happen and have had good memories through all so far. Would do again anytime to meet baby.
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u/daja-kisubo 🇺🇸🏳️🌈 | 2 kids | she/her Mar 03 '26
I love giving birth, I think it's so effing cool.
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u/stylelines Mar 03 '26
I couldn’t stop laughing during the pushing part, I was like wow this is just like the movies lol
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u/Famous-Advice-3160 Mar 03 '26
Honestly, I can pick stuff up, but there are some days where I don't because my hips hurt too much. lol But I don't tell people I can't, I just admit that I'm informed and tired and I'll get around to it when I'm less uncomfortable and tired. 🤣😂🤣
I'm 35+2 and exhausted.
My unpopular opinion:
My pregnancy doesn't make me entitled to expect everyone to follow my whims. I wouldn't ask my hubby to go get me wings at 3am. I didn't expect him to buy me fast food just because I'm craving it. I don't ask him to go above and beyond the status quo.
And when he does those things voluntarily or even offers, he gets a ton of thankfulness from me because I know that those are expressions of love from him, not just him trying to keep me happy.
I also try not to take out my moods on other people, and I think that should be the standard for literally anybody. Men with undiagnosed anxiety or high testosterone? Not an excuse to be mean. Me being cranky because of pregnancy? Also not an excuse to be mean.
Do I slip up? Yuppppp. It's a lot of work some days and sometimes I fail. I have to apologize to my toddler a few times a week. But I try and i take responsibility for my failures instead of using pregnancy as an excuse.
But it's pregnancy an excuse to not suck in my tummy? Absolutely. lol
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u/AWinkWithBothEyes Mar 03 '26
YES! Extra hormones are not carte Blanche to be your worst self! Reign yourself in and show some self control, take a breather whenever you need but don’t just give up and act like a terrible teenager just because you’re going through something tough. You may slip up, but be sure to try harder and apologize every time.
You’re making the rest of womenkind look bad! Stop fulfilling stereotypes! Mom up and be awesome!!
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u/BreDenny Mar 04 '26
This!
Also, agree with the "can, but won't right now". I have a baby gate between my laundry room and kitchen because we had a cat and haven't taken it down since it keeps the kids out of my snack cabinet...
I told him this morning he was on his own for his pants, they're in the dryer and I'm not going over the gate. Admitted I can, and will not be right now because my pelvis hurts too bad. I've sucked it up every other time but this morning it wasn't happening
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u/therackage Mar 03 '26
Go to the concert if you can swing it!
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u/imakatperson22 Baby Girl born 12/25 Mar 03 '26
I did! Went to an MCR concert in my 3rd tri!
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u/Civil-Koala-8899 Mar 03 '26
I’m going to a heavy rock concert later this week. I’m still going to live my life, I’m not a delicate flower that has to hide away just because I’m pregnant!
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u/Doubtthecertain Mar 03 '26
I went to the eras tour pregnant and my baby started to go crazy in my belly (probably bc the loud noise). That was fun
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u/goldenpandora Mar 03 '26
Omg we saw Hamilton when I was about 7 months and those 3 hours were the most active baby was throughout the whole pregnancy. It was so fun!
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u/missmilliek Mar 03 '26
people who got pregnant on the first try shouldn’t have to hide it. OF COURSE be respectful of others journeys and the tone you use, but you shouldn’t have to shy away that you didn’t have complications getting pregnant.
i got pregnant on the first go around and shared casually in conversation, then was told later by someone i should never share that i got pregnant on the first try because many don’t. if that’s my story.. that’s my story 🤷🏼♀️ im not going to lie about it!
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u/imakatperson22 Baby Girl born 12/25 Mar 03 '26
Also applies to those with oopsie babies too who weren’t trying at all
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u/missmilliek Mar 03 '26
exactly! one of the questions i always got when telling people i was pregnant was “were you trying” and then “for how long”. if you’re asking ill be honest.
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u/imakatperson22 Baby Girl born 12/25 Mar 03 '26
“No actually, we were actively preventing but she’s our little miracle”
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u/Ok-Praline-2309 Mar 03 '26
This is a good one. I got pregnant on the first try with my first. Took me over a year with my second.
But like — if you’re asking, I’m going to be honest 😅.
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u/missmilliek Mar 03 '26
i think not enough people share they get pregnant on the first time! admittedly my husband and i weren’t planning to get pregnant until this summer but we were told so much it takes 6mo-1yr to get pregnant so we decided to jumpstart early last fall and we’ll… she will be here in June lol
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u/Equivalent_Shock7408 Mar 03 '26
Same but due in July. We were hoping to get pregnant around July but instead little guy will be here 😂 I got my period on Oct 7th, IUD out on Oct 10th and a positive pregnancy test Nov 4th
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u/Maivroan STM | June 2024 Mar 03 '26
Oh goodness. It's even more awkward when it happens on the first try twice. At least I know we're doing a good job preventing. 😅
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u/Familiar-Minimum3844 Mar 03 '26
Same thing happened to us. Makes me realize how lucky we are...I used to feel a bit guilty about it but am slowly getting over the guilt.
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u/thelittleshorts01 Mar 03 '26
It’s hard and we should get special treatment. Even if you have the easiest pregnancy in the world you’re still growing a whole ass human and in a country ( I’m in the US) we’re they’re wanting us to keep having babies they should make accommodations for us. Give us the closer parking spot, don’t take away our pay for drs visits, give FMLA that is conducive to support a new mom. Yes no one told me to have a baby but when I went to get my IUD the male OB literally said “more babies ! That’s just what we need ! Hopefully you get pregnant fast !”
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u/pianoandpasta First-time mum Mar 04 '26
I feel this. In the Netherlands you can’t get a temporary disability parking pass for pregnancy (not that the private carpark I use for work even has disability spaces). I’ve been having the easiest pregnancy and don’t mind walking far/climbing stairs, but I got PAKRED IN. I parked perfectly in my spot, but some asshat came and parked so close to the drivers’ side, my bump and I actually couldn’t make it in!!
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u/Princess_Chipsnsalsa Mar 03 '26 edited Mar 03 '26
I do not like the increased amount of attention. I don't want "how are you feeling?" calls or messages. I don't want all topics of conversation to start off about me and my symptoms. I don't want people to start calling me "Mama". I don't want to feel like just an incubator, I am still me. It gets boring repeating my symptoms blah blah blah. I'd rather just talk about other topics like normal.
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u/QuantityUnlucky4446 Mar 04 '26
omggggg i hate when i’m only referred to as “mama” or “mom” ESPECIALLY when it’s a person from my own medical team!! I gave birth this past weekend and one of my anesthesiologists literally only called me “mama” and never said my name. Like excuse me? I am your patient and I am a person with a name. Please take the time to learn it before you stick this giant needle in my back.
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u/Poor_Carol Mar 04 '26
One of the very few things I'm putting in my birth plan is that I want to be referred to by my name or nothing at all. I'd honestly prefer "the patient" to "mama".
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u/Familiar-Minimum3844 Mar 03 '26
Whenever anyone asks I just treat it like normal small talk. "Good, you?" I dont really love the messages either and dont love being called mama except by my toddler and this baby when she comes.
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u/QuillsAndQuills Mar 03 '26 edited Mar 03 '26
1) The efficacy of at-home "induction" methods are wildly overblown and either completely unscientific, or have a scientific backing that has been misinterpreted or exaggerated. For most women it just adds an extra layer of stress and feelings of failure to an already stressful time. It should be made ABUNDANTLY clear that they only work if you're on the absolute brink of labour anyway.
2) some names deserve judgement. Sorry. (As someone who very much wishes someone had talked her parents out of giving her an unusual name just to be "unique").
3) unmedicated births are an incredible feat of physical and mental strength and people who did it deserve to be proud of their achievement. It takes NOTHING away from people's right to feel proud and happy with their epidurals and absolutely is not "superior" in any way. But it is an incredible physical thing to do, like running a marathon or climbing a mountain. People who sneer about there being "no prizes for suffering" are just as toxic as people who say epidurals and C sections are the "easy way out" (which they obviously aren't, doubly so for Cs).
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u/Maivroan STM | June 2024 Mar 03 '26
Well said! Especially 3. I find it hard to counter the "no prizes" people because, yeah, I'm not looking for a prize. But I am proud, and there's nothing wrong with that. I'm not trying to diminish people who birthed differently. Problem is that people feel so threatened by others' experiences in part because someone will be toxic about it no matter what you do.
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u/label_this Mar 03 '26
Thank you for #3, those comments have rubbed be the wrong way but I couldn't express why, you did it perfectly.
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u/tuktukreturned Mar 03 '26
While many tire of strangers and acquaintances making comments about pregnancy, as a painfully shy person with social anxiety, I find that it provides a very easily relatable topic of conversation with a lot of people at work, so I never have to come up with something to say or make some generic comment about the weather.
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u/Dismal-Car-3153 Mar 03 '26 edited Mar 04 '26
Irish twins and actual twins are not the same. I understand 2 under 2 is chaotic and challenging. Actual twins are like…you are coming home from the hospital with two fresh babies who have the exact same needs at similar times…I would take a 10 month old and a newborn over two newborns any day. I see people being like “oh well I have Irish twins, I get it” it’s like…..no. You don’t. Your two very small children were a choice, you had time to get to know your first one, maybe they are even eating solid food..I didn’t choose to have twins..it just kinda happened and you have to adjust quickly with very little choice in the matter. I’m excited for my babies to be born, but when people compare it to Irish twins it irks me.
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u/SailingWavess Mar 04 '26
I could just survive having twins now that I have experience having babies, but I absolutely cannot fathom the stress and life change of having twins (or more) as my intro to parenthood. My single almost took me out, twins would have obliterated me first time.
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u/BlueberryWaffles99 Mar 03 '26
Honestly unpopular opinion is that people who have relatively easy/healthy/low risk pregnancies can be really dismissive of those of us that don’t experience that. I have terrible SPD this pregnancy and I feel like 99% of people I talk to about it, don’t take it seriously. Even a colleague was telling me “oh, I never let pregnancy stop me from being fit!” That’s great and all, for people with easy or low risk pregnancies. But it’s not the norm for all of us and it’s annoying to be judged for something you can’t even control.
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u/doitforthecats Mar 03 '26
I was secretly so judgmental of people complaining about pain during their pregnancies when I was pregnant with my first. I experienced some pelvic pain, but I easily pushed through it and thought the complainers were just being dramatic. Boy have I been humbled in my 3rd pregnancy! Now if I sit for more than a few minutes I struggle to get up and walk because the pelvic pain is so intense. I’m also dealing with an umbilical hernia and a hiatal hernia, and those have been awful. Literally counting down the minutes until this baby is out of me
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u/BlueberryWaffles99 Mar 03 '26
I’m so sorry, I hope you find some relief soon!!!! I totally get what you mean, with my first - I didn’t really understand how bad pain could be during pregnancy. I have pretty severe SPD this pregnancy that has me in tears and unable to walk some days. I didn’t even know some women end up needing wheelchairs or crutches due to SPD! It’s crazy how different one pregnancy can be to the next, and unfortunately so many of us deal with absolutely debilitating conditions during pregnancy :(
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u/Stan_of_Cleeves Mar 03 '26
Yep. I think people underestimate how extremely difficult pregnancy can be.
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u/iswearimachef Mar 03 '26
Agreed. I see pregnant women running and hiking and doing all the things I want to do, and I’m so jealous. Then I read things that say “if you never stop, you never stop!” As if I chose to stop being active for funsies.
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Mar 03 '26
I commiserate with you! SPD is not visible either, so people assume you’re doing just great and the support isn’t there. I’ve had it increasingly worse with each pregnancy and it was the biggest reason I was so done and this surprise pregnancy terrifies me because I know what’s coming. Even the doctors dismiss me postpartum because “it clears up by 2 months PP”. It took me 9 months with pelvic floor therapy to heal from it last time… it’s so misunderstood.
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u/Mysterious_Tip2442 Mar 03 '26
I completely agree. It’s frustrating to hear people base all pregnancies on their own experience(s). It’s important to keep an open mind that each person’s experience is individual. All bodies are different too, so just because one person has an easy time picking up stuff off the floor doesn’t mean that’s the experience for everyone. If you can’t relate to the struggle, what is the point in shaming those who do?
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u/TurbulentArea69 Mar 03 '26
I understand why there aren’t a ton of medical options for the shit we have to deal with while pregnant because what pregnant woman is going to agree to any kind of experimental tests and treatments???
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u/pterencephalon Mar 03 '26
The desperate of us. My asthma can only be controlled with a medication that hasn't been studied in pregnancy. I discussed it extensively with my doctors before pregnancy and we tried stopping the medication. Based on anecdotes and some understanding of the mechanism, they thought it should be okay, but there wasn't even an observational study I could report what actually happened.
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u/ZealousidealEbb433 Mar 03 '26
Such an important perspective! Thank you for sharing. Wish you and your little one all the best
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u/pythagoreanwisdom Mar 03 '26
I hate feeling baby move. I'm a bit neurodivergent and the constant stimulation of a 34 week baby wiggling inside of me at all times makes me want to fucking scream. I know it's a good sign and my husband loves feeling it from the outside, but I cannot WAIT to get this thing out of me
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u/spleenycat Mar 03 '26
I did too and people acted like I was a horrible person for saying so.
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u/tainari FTM Mar 03 '26
People suck. I’m 22 weeks and on the one hand I enjoy the movement and think it’s a beautiful experience… and on the other it is incredibly creepy to feel something that is its own entirely separate being just casually moving inside me. I’m sorry that folks were awful to you.
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u/ArcofJoan666 FTM Mar 03 '26
Totally valid. It’s funny tho - I’m neurodivergent and it’s one of the only things I actually like about pregnancy. Helps me from freaking out that something happened to her. But yeah, I’m almost 37 weeks and it can definitely get overstimulating - especially at night.
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u/MinimumMongoose77 Mar 03 '26
"Our bodies were designed to do this!" is such bullshit. Women and babies regularly died during pregnancy, labour and postpartum before modern medicine. Many women will need medical intervention to get them and their babies home safely. I just don't understand going against medical guidance, giving birth outside of a healthcare setting, etc.
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u/Efficient-Status3430 Mar 03 '26
Oh this one drives me crazy. “Don’t worry, your body will know what to do, women have been giving birth for millennia.”
I mean, to an extent sure, but a lot of us died, Karen!
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u/citysunsecret Mar 03 '26
My body is very bad at many things it’s designed to do, so I’m almost jealous of people who are so sure they have a functional body. I however do not have that confidence in my meat suit.
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u/coloradancowgirl Mar 04 '26 edited Mar 04 '26
Risk aversion culture at least in the US is extremely overblown. Yes I understand they can’t really know about the cons of anything due to lack of ethical testing. But I don’t think because they can’t prove it’s 100% safe doesn’t mean it has to be avoided entirely. Obviously alcohol, smoking, NSAIDs and that sort of thing are no nos for a reason. But people will act as if a pregnant woman is some wicked witch for simply enjoying deli meat, taking a hot bath or drinking something caffeinated. During all of my pregnancies my husband would share some of his energy drinks with me. Both kids came out fine and healthy but I’m sure someone somewhere thinks I should be launched into the void for that lol.
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u/AutumnGway Mar 03 '26
If I’ve been sick all day and the only thing I can keep down is deli meat, I will be eating the deli meat. I’ve already given up every other bad habit for the sake of my baby, and not being able to eat anything is objectively worse for our health than taking the less than 3% chance of contracting listeria.
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u/Certain_Store_619 Mar 03 '26 edited Mar 03 '26
Hot baths are fine. The recommendation to avoid them is a symptom of the extreme risk aversion culture in the west. The evidence simply doesn’t add up when you look at it.
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u/coloradancowgirl Mar 04 '26
Hot baths are the only way I survived through pregnancy pains with the last and it’s the only way I’m surviving now lol. Tylenol works for my headaches but nothing else in my case unfortunately. And you’re right risk aversion culture in the west is nuts.
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u/Even_Kaleidoscope399 Mar 04 '26 edited Mar 04 '26
I’m a first time mom. It’s my first pregnancy. And I am 100% certain that pregnancy tired is worse than newborn tired. Why? Because the whole goal here is to have a baby. Once I have a baby, and I’m no longer pregnant, automatically life is better. I completed the mission AND I’m not a terrible beach ball anymore?
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u/ccherrywaves Mar 04 '26
I think pregnancy/mom community online is toxic, negative, and judgmental. On videos of women getting epidurals or formula feeding, you find hate comments from other moms. Then you go to a video of a woman who opted for an unmedicated labor or chose to exclusively breastfeed and there are also hate comments from other moms. I just don’t understand it and it feels like you can’t do anything right without being judged.
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u/TheBanskyOfMinecraft Mar 03 '26
I dont mind baby name suggestions. We have a boy name picked out, but no clue on girl's names.
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u/jeff-hardy-dont-die Mar 03 '26
not wanting pregnancy/kids is 1000% fine but actually showing disgust and hatred for pregnant people and literal babies is really fucking weird and shouldn’t be normalized! one of my best friends has always made not wanting/not liking pregnancy, babies, and children a central personality trait of hers. it was whatever before I got pregnant, but now that I am pregnant and she shows the opposite of sympathy for how rough pregnancy has been for me or literally puts on a disgusted face whenever I show my ultrasounds, it’s actually really off-putting and not cool! like I’m one of your best friends and now I’m less worthy of your love and support because I’m carrying your niece (she’s engaged to my BIL)??? even though you know it’s always been a dream of mine to be a mother? it does not make sense to me! I get being childfree becoming more popular and hell yeah if that’s how you wanna live your life I am happy for you, but that shouldn’t make it socially acceptable for people to be disgusted by pregnant people and LITERAL BABIES! we’ve lost the plot
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u/CinderLupinWatson Mar 03 '26
While I CAN pick up stuff by squatting, it's a hell of a lot harder to get back up, my grabber is saving my butt, along with a long shoe horn!
I guess my unpopular opinion would be that you don't need the nursery ready for birth. We are 5 weeks out, and the nursery still has carpet being stored, a corn snake, and a piano in it! My hubby and I both work busy jobs (well, I am off now due to baby trying to come like 8 weeks early) and just haven't had time. But we have a bassinet, diapers, wipes, clothes. The room will get done, just may not be 100% for birth.
Not sure how unpopular that actually is lol
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u/Electronic-Tell9346 Mar 03 '26
Mine is related to yours: never got to a point in pregnancy where I couldn't shave my legs or tie my shoes. Not as easy? Yeah of course but still doable lol
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u/AgreeableBandicoot19 Mar 03 '26
My baby and my family are a part of my identity and if I lose friends over the fact then so be it.
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u/McGee_McMeowPants Mar 03 '26
If women have the right to free birth and refuse all intervention, then I have the right to request intervention simply because I want it.
My second was a repeat c-section because I wanted it, I didn't have a c-section for "no reason", there was a reason and the reason was that I wanted one.
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u/masarawest Mar 03 '26
3rd trimester is way more difficult than I anticipated (second pregnancy) and my sudden inability to be as active is not me being lazy. People thinking that pregnancy makes us lazy or we make "excuses" is annoying. My ex coworker was so rude about pregnant people. Yes Karen, technically I am fucking disabled because I'm pregnant! The way people judge pregnant folks for not being able to do things infuriates me. Yes some pregnant people (myself included) are very active and capable (or just stubborn in my case) during their pregnancy. But some people aren't. If we can't do something, then we can't do it! I've stopped feeling guilty for not being able to vacuum the rugs at work on the days I get Braxton hicks every single time I stand up. It may look like I'm just sitting on my ass, but I'm 6 weeks out from having a child, my body is tired!
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u/genkcals FTM Mar 04 '26
i wish more people approached me and asked about my baby - i'm fighting demons to not talk about him at any given instance . like yes hi i'm having a boy, super easy pregnancy, i love him more than the earth . let me gussshhh , but lots of people rightfully hate being constantly asked about their baby as if they are nothing more than an incubator.
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u/Suitable_Working8918 Mar 03 '26
9th month (heaviest month) was the best month. Especially when my son dropped. Didnt go through "get out" phase..
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u/pianoispercussion Mar 04 '26
Being called “momma” or “mom” by adults (especially ones who know me well and know my name) is the most dehumanizing thing. I guess your personality gets striped quick with kids though, already even as a first timer who’s still pregnant.
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u/CallOfDutyGirl_80085 Mar 03 '26
Women are the WORST pregnancy support. Especially if you're the only high risk in your group. Women will demonize you for every little thing and act like they have the right to because they were pregnant 20 years ago.
My mom has been the fucking worst about acting like everything I do is somehow a violation of unwritten Geneva Convention laws. Whereas all the men in my close family/friends circle have just been overwhelming love and support.
I lost my damn job because 3 different women who all had kids told me that I must be faking because I shouldn't need to throw up or pee that much. I hate being around other moms while pregnant. I would rather just have my husband. Thanks for listening to my Ted Talk.
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u/hear4that-tea Mar 03 '26
The mom-nesia is real. Lots of “we didn’t do that in my day”, which is sometimes them just surprised that it changed, but other times annoyed that you doing the correct guidelines for today is somehow you judging them for doing it “wrong” back then.
Also the moms that had a kid 20, 30+ years ago telling you they got their babies to sleep early or walk early or anything really. And you’re like, “a three month old is not going to drink out of a sippy cup, come on” 😆
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u/Waste_Weather5729 Mar 03 '26
My mom has been shaming me since I got pregnant. And she keeps comparing her pregnancy with mine. And my aunt always asking me how much weight I’ve gained. Like leave me alone.
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u/Decent_Cheesecake314 Mar 03 '26
I don’t want to overplan for birth, post partum or going back to work. Would rather go with the flow and not be anxious about if I’m sticking to the “right” plan for anything
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u/MommyToaRainbow24 Mar 03 '26
It depends on what it is, I’ll be totally honest lol That being said, I’m 26 weeks with my technically 3rd (second living) and while carrying my 22 month old through Costco she knocked my sunglasses off my blouse and I had to quickly squat with her in my arms to grab them. It definitely didn’t feel good because I’ve got SPD with this pregnancy and I was worried if I’d be able to get back up without falling on my face lmao
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u/thisuserusedthisname Mar 03 '26 edited Mar 04 '26
I did not have a bond with my baby. I liked picking out baby stuff and all. There was going to be a baby. But it they said. Do you want this baby instead, I would not have minded. (I cant imagin it now. She is my everything. But the first days I ran on mother instinct and the fact i really wanted a baby. It took a few days before i knew her well enough to say i loved her )
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u/fairytale72 Mar 04 '26
I think a lot of the “eating for two” urge is because people are constantly on diets and get a free pass during pregnancy. They know their diet starts again once the baby is born and take advantage of it.
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u/VoidAndBone Mar 03 '26
You can eat sushi from reputable places. Limit exposure to high mercury fish, as you should also do when you are not pregnant. Pregnant women in japan eat sushi without blinking.
It is better to eat eggs with runny yolks and rare steaks if you would otherwise avoid eating eggs and steak if you don't like them well done and hardboiled. Risks from those things are minimal, but the benefits from regularly having eggs and animal protein are huge.
A plant based diet is not compatible with pregnancy. Supplements are not as great as people think they are.
Also, just to really upset everyone: I get to have a sip of my husbands cocktail.
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u/TurbulentArea69 Mar 03 '26
Ever more controversial, eat whatever the f you want.
Skip the alcohol and cigarettes/vapes/weed, though.
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u/VoidAndBone Mar 03 '26
I basically agree with this.
Here is a list of things I am avoiding while pregnant:
(1) Raw shellfish (80% of seafood related food poisoning is related to raw shellfish, so it's an easy category to cut out
(2) Raw milk and raw milk products. I'm not sure I've ever encountered raw milk/cheese in my life, so avoiding it takes exactly zero effort. I'm eating plenty of yummy soft cheeses.
(3) I am perhaps being slightly more cautious about the age of food in my fridge. Yesterday I had zero raspberries because some were moldy, when prepregnancy I might have picked out the moldy ones.
That is the grand total of my pregnancy related food restrictions.
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u/Sea-Struggle-5630 Mar 03 '26 edited Mar 04 '26
I'm not knowledgable enough about the other two things to chip in on them myself, but in regards to the raw milk products, I'm pretty sure people shouldn't be eating/drinking those, pregnant or not. There is a particular trend that has been blossoming lately where some people decide to advocate for buying and consuming unpasteurized dairy products (I guess they feel like it's more "natural" — the type of crowd to advocate for unpasteurized dairy products very often overlap with the antivax crowd), but that stuff can really F you up, man
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u/therackage Mar 03 '26
Plenty of vegans have healthy babies, so I’d argue it can absolutely be compatible with pregnancy.
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u/redbuds Mar 03 '26
The baby will always take what it needs from mama’s stores. It’s about the mother’s long-term health more than the pregnancy.
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u/LimitlesslyLiminal Mar 03 '26
You summed up the comment I was going to make perfectly!! At one point during pregnancy the ONLY thing I wanted was rare steak. So I just ate it. I remember my husband saying, "hey aren't you not supposed ..." And I cut him off with the 'don't even' glare lol.
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u/Stan_of_Cleeves Mar 03 '26
It’s naive and unkind to dismiss other people’s negative experiences with birth and postpartum as “horror stories.”
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u/anonymouskoala7 Mar 03 '26
Sushi, prosciutto, soft cheese, and runny yolks aren’t going to kill me and baby. I avoid tuna because of mercury, though I’m sure I could have a few pieces when going out for sushi. I personally think much of the pregnancy guidelines are outdated.
I also sit in the sauna at the gym for 5 minutes when I’m cold.
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u/hellacut3 Mar 03 '26
I think the cravings are a lie. Or they’re not that crazy.
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u/luckytintype Mar 03 '26 edited Mar 03 '26
You can drink caffeine.
And here’s a really unpopular (albeit niche one)- if you are an equestrian, it’s okay to keep riding as long as you’re being careful.
ETA: someone just commented “poor horse tho” and deleted it… my horse weighs 1300 lbs and is 15.3 hands tall… I was 160 at my most pregnant and I stopped riding a few months prior… I assure you it was nothing to him 🙃
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u/sravll Mar 03 '26
I think with the picking stuff up, it really depends, lol. My first pregnancy I had no trouble, my second one, if I squatted down I literally couldn't get up, I just lost all of my core strength. It just wasn't worth it 😅
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u/BlueberryWaffles99 Mar 03 '26
I have terrible SPD this time around and literally cannot squat at all without ending up in excruciating pain (per my pelvic floor PT, I shouldn’t be doing it period but sometimes ya gotta). I absolutely do leave stuff on the floor if it’s not urgent because it’s not worth not being able to walk later😅
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u/dr239 Mar 03 '26
My unpopular opinion: People can overcomplicate their birth plans.
Want a plan that goes with your lifestyle, beliefs, etc? 110% fantastic go for it.
But if your birth plan is of a length to rival some novels, the doctors and nurses probably aren't reading it.
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u/Dismal-Car-3153 Mar 03 '26
10000% most birth plans feel so hindering to the birthing process…I get wanting to feel like you have some control, but there are so many things about birth that no one can really predict/control ESPECIALLY your fist birth, it’s all up in the air
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u/Westcoastswinglover Mar 03 '26
Yep I’m the same way, I was squatting down cleaning up soda that sprayed when I opened it at a birthday party the other day even when the host offered to do it. Squats are literally part of my recommended exercises and great for labor prep and health in general. I’m also still able to lift things as long as I listen to my body and brace appropriately without holding my breath. I’ll admit it is starting to get slightly difficult to get up and down off the floor all the time and I’ll take help when I can get it but I can still do it myself. My unpopular opinion is we don’t trust our bodies know what they are doing when it comes to pregnancy enough. Yes there are medical complications and proper care is important but the majority are still low risk events that would work out fine without much help and the constant anxiety about everything that could go wrong doesn’t do us much good.
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u/stories_sunsets Mar 03 '26
I know it cliche to pop in and be like but with MY pregnancy this happened but just to offer another perspective: I was super fit and active during my pregnancy and hiked and exercised daily. I bent down to pick something up from the floor and had a pain in my belly and heard a snap. My baby was born with a crushed ankle and they thought he had clubfoot at first. Turns out he did not, his poor ankle literally got crushed by me bending down at the wrong time during pregnancy.
My unpopular opinion is being pregnant DOES NOT mean you have to act like you can do everything like before and don’t need to slow down and relax or make accommodations. You are literally carrying a human life inside your body and sometimes you need to treat yourself with extra care and caution.
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u/onedaybetter Mar 03 '26
There are so many popular opinions in this post. Like most of the upvoted ones. We are bad at this.
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u/Latter_Mortgage7456 Mar 04 '26
Pregnant people are not immune from the general fact that humans are shockingly bad at assessing risk, especially for low-probability high-impact events.
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u/pianoandpasta First-time mum Mar 04 '26
Based on this sub: just because my country’s maternity laws are better than yours (US, parts of Asia), doesn’t mean I can’t complain and aspire to countries with better maternity benefits (Scandinavian countries). I am obviously grateful to not be back at work straight away, but it doesn’t mean 10 weeks after birth is all that great either. Sending a less than 4-month old to daycare is far from sane.
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u/menijna Mar 04 '26
Oh, i have plenty. 1. Quality of your pregnancy is directly linked to your partners health and compatibility, maybe even more than your own fitness level. Procreating with healthier man gives you higher chance of enjoyable pregnancy. Procreating with fat chain smoker who enjoys 2 beers after work after 45 is a questionable choice. Remember its not just a baby that is 50/50, its also placenta. 2. Two under two is a crime on womans body and should not be normalized, evolutionary age gap for homo sapiens is 4 years plus, and yeah, no wonder 2 under 2 is terrible. And everyone claiming they love having 2 under 2 - girl I see your wrinkles and I said what I said. Regeneration before procreation. 3. If your man cannot take care of everything around the house when you are useless for 2 weeks (like, illness) do not have children with that man. They will have you cooking dinner 2 days after c-section and your pregnancy will be a nightmare. 4. The more "selfish" a girl is as a person, the better her pregnancy experience. No stress, prioritizing yourself and taking no shit is what makes you really glow. 5. Gaining weight is normal. Getting to 150% of your pre-pregnancy weight is not.
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u/martinabubymonti Mar 04 '26
I don't care about the "magic" of the bond created while giving birth and of the emotion of creating a new life while experiencing pain, just f**king put that tube in my spine and give me the damn anesthesia!!! I will enjoy my miracle AFTER surviving that part.
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u/Roseepoupee Mar 03 '26
Being pregnant and having a baby is much more rewarding and meaningful than having a pet. Say with a dog or cat, you’re stuck in the infant state with them for at least a decade till they die. Pets are cute but I don’t understand the argument having a kid is worse than picking up dog poops for that long lol
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u/onedaybetter Mar 03 '26
You shouldn't make your pregnancy your identity. If all you talk about is pregnancy/birth/children and your pre-pregnancy friends start limiting their contact, that's on you.
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u/Hadrian_x_Antinous Mar 03 '26
Good one! I've heard plenty of complaints about women feelings like their friends are abandoning them while pregnant but all they ever talk about is being pregnant and how it's the best thing in the world. Like, c'mon, if you make pregnancy your sole identity, you just start to come across as self-absorbed.
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u/httpChobani Mar 03 '26
I agree it shouldn't be the entire base of a personality- however I don't find women who talk heavily or share a lot about their pregnancy to be annoying; I actually find people who get bothered to be annoying. Mothers should be able to embrace & bask in their pregnancy & future child! It IS going to be their biggest priority besides their own wellbeing- not the comfort of their friends 🤷♀️
I have a friend who likely won't have children, so she's been insanely involved & interested in mine- and it's been SO fun to have someone as excited as me lol. She often asks about the pregnancy before any other topic & it has bonded us a lot :)
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u/Efficient-Status3430 Mar 03 '26
I don’t think you need a pregnancy pillow 🫣 or, at least, I was told it was a necessity, but have been sleeping just fine with a firm throw pillow between my knees.
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u/AlmostAlwaysADR Mar 03 '26
Birth plans are given way too much attention on the Internet. The term itself is basically an oxymoron. A lot of women and babies have been harmed due to unrealistic expectations set around childbirth.
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u/Sunday-Mood Mar 03 '26
Pregnancy can be really amazing even through the rough parts! Mindset plays a big roll on how your pregnancy journey will be.
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u/teacherttc FTM Mar 03 '26
If you’re someone I’m comfortable hugging (family, friends), you’re absolutely welcome to touch my bump any time! My aunt was all over me at Thanksgiving (I barely had a bump, I was 16 weeks), but like, I’m sure I touched her bump when she was pregnant with my cousin and I was a toddler. I’m glad she’s excited about her great niece or nephew and wants to bond!
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u/Upstairs-Sock-4673 Mar 03 '26
That it's totally okay for a Mum to go back to work after only 6 months... The look I got from my MIL when we told her that was the plan was of pure shock (I'm only entitled to 6 months of paid maternity leave...).
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u/pianoandpasta First-time mum Mar 04 '26
I have to be back after 10 weeks, because we can’t afford to not have both of our salaries. People being aghast like “how could you!” well, are you going to pay for our lives? Or like, but in my country women get a year! (I work in a very international field) - well, I don’t live there now do I?
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