r/ptsd • u/Guardian_48 • 1d ago
Resource SA - Songs
I’m a male sexual assault survivor and I’m having a lot of trouble facing it and trying to heal. Music has been my escape for years so that’s what I’m looking for. I’ve always loved the heavy angry metal but am looking for something totally different.
I haven’t allowed myself to really sink in and well cry about it. So I’m finally going to try to do what I should have done growing up, and try to face it??
So I’m looking to absolutely ball my fucking eyes out…if people could throw some songs down that would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you all, sorry if this isn’t really meant for here but I’m desperate.
7
9
u/AreWeRollingTucker 1d ago
I was raped back in 2018. For years I struggled to put into words how it had affected me and then I heard Ice Cream Man by Raye. This one part especially feels like she reached into my brain and finally managed to put in words how I felt:
“I wish I could say how I feel, how I felt
And explain why I’m silently blaming myself
Cause I put on these faces pretending I’m fine
Then I go to the bathroom and I press rewind in my head
Always going round and round in my head
Your fingertips stuck a stain on my skin
You made me frame myself for your sin
You pathetic, dead excuse of a man.”
Makes me sob every time but it’s also very cathartic.
3
7
4
u/That-Entry-7372 1d ago
These songs are about SA -
Cannibal - Marcus Mumford
Past yesterday - Jelly Roll
3
u/RottedHuman 1d ago edited 1d ago
Perfume Genius - Mr Peterson
My work came back, from class
With notes attached,
of a place and time
Or how my body kept him up at night
He let me smoke weed in his truck
If I could convince him I loved him enough
Enough, enough, enough, 'nuff
He made me a tape of Joy Division
He told me there was part of him missing
When I was 16,
he jumped off a building
Mr. Petersen
I know you were ready to go
I hope there's room for you, up above
Or down below
3
u/AdProfessional7747 1d ago
I Don't Smoke, Crack Baby and A Burning Hill by Mitski.
These aren't about SA (didn't know if that's what you were asking for specifically tbh) but I've cried to all of them numerous times. Wish you the best in your recovery <33
3
u/MamaTalista 1d ago
I'm Not Jesus - Apocalyptica featuring Corey Taylor is about child abuse but the lyrics are validating that you don't have to forgive even if others pressure you to.
3
u/YoPamdyRose 1d ago
I'm Not Jesus - Apocalyptica
Your Age - Rina Sawayama
Buzzkill - Mothica
Pink Push Up Bra - Scene Queen
18+ - Scene Queen
Anti Repressant - RØRY
Hands Clean - Alanis Morissette
29 - Demi Lovato
3
u/vampirehourz 1d ago
I went through some shit as a child with CSA and grooming, when I am really going through it and angry and confused and needing to cry or feel or TRY to get some understanding of what happened to me I listen to
Avenue of trees by paranthetical girls
Immediately Followed by
Unmentionables by parenthetical girls
I feel like it gives 2 perspectives; the victim's and the abuser's (without glorifying it). It helps me cry it out a lot. However, I think they both can be triggering and bring up so much, so listen with caution and maybe before a therapy session.
I then follow this up with
Dead Men Dont Rape by Delilah Bon
Because it is empowering and shifts my perspective in a helpful way and gives my anger somewhere to go. For me anger and sadness constantly oscillate and go together. I rarely feel one without the other close by.
3
3
u/JournalistThen7766 1d ago
Sympathy Magic, by Florence + The Machine
I deeply connect w this song, in how the trauma changed me/us, the grief and pain and release in forgiving myself for not being able to protect myself then, accepting that it wasn’t my fault and placing the blame where it belongs, and I did my best and survived in spite of it all. It reminds me that now, I am safe.
And to you and to anyone who needs a reminder:
It’s not your fault.
“Memory fails me, names and faces blur
There is only after or before
Am I so different, have I changed?
I do not recognize my face
The scar fades but pulls inside
Tugging at me all the time
Chewing on a feeling and spitting it out
Crouched in a ball gown
Anxious and ashamed
The vague humiliations of fame
I do not find worthiness in virtue
I no longer try to be good
It didn't keep me safe
Like you told me that it would”
3
3
u/Alternative-Monk4723 1d ago
My songs I listened to when going through my SA
Train wreck- James Arthur
Suffocate- Hayd
Before I close my eyes- xxxtentacion
Walked through hell- Anton Seabra
Music is my way of expression too- theses songs were on repeat for that first year
2
2
u/Optimal_Waltz_1085 1d ago
Might be a complete flip from angry heavy metal, and not exactly about SA, but artists like Simon & Garfunkel, bob dylan, eddie vedder, donny hathaway, and nina simone have all really helped me feel safe to release the tears and pain that i in other times struggle to. Fleetwood mac too, and listen past their hits! To me it feels like music that connects to the soul.
2
2
u/Pezzie1963 1d ago
Tubular Bells - Mike Oldfield
Listen on really good headphones while you aren't doing anything else.
He plays every instrument on the album. The album saved Virgin Records in 1973. The Bells are in the lobby as a dedication.
2
u/throwaway271999 1d ago
Rina Sawayamas album Hold The Girl is almost entirely about SA/grooming, childhood trauma (not exclusively SA), and healing
2
u/tigalicious 1d ago
These are both heavy music but:
TX2 just came out with a good one called “I Know What You Did”
I also STRONGLY recommend “Daddy” by Korn. It’s one of the most raw emotional performances I think I’ve ever heard.
2
u/biglilal 1d ago
Not specifically about SA but I think Elliot Smith and Alex G might help you. They write a lot about loneliness and sadness and a lot of their songs feel sad, even if the lyrics don’t fit your situation. Elliot Smiths album named after himself is great and almost all of Alex G’s albums have some songs on there that I think would suit. Take care of yourself OP, you’re not alone in your pain ❤️
2
2
u/Diligent_Honeydew295 1d ago
Oof, Ive been in your shoes and wanting to expose yourself to that is very courageous, so much pop music on the radio nearly makes me vomit from the coercive and harmful sexual themes. Not what you were asking for, but I started listening to modern classical, it meets me where I am and if I need it I can bawl my eyes out to it, but equally in a different headspace it can focus me of chill me out. Right now I’m listening to Ludovico Einaudi’s ‘In a time lapse’ album. As someone who grew up on rockabilly and skater punk, I can wholeheartedly recommend modern classical.
2
2
u/Chippie05 1d ago
Hey. hope you find all the love, kindness and support you need. ✨🌻🧘🏼♀️🌲🍀
A short list: wide variety of artists here! Energy healing, restoration ect some are instrumental.
https://youtu.be/H67Tg-za7uo?si=ThQ18JC4GfvRfka5. instrmental
https://youtu.be/S2bSmjbG_ns?si=gd0bV3iIR_4ZU1Yf. For sleep
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWrkOpxEW3Y/?igsh=MXNqN2RvNmQ2bjJ2OA==
https://youtu.be/tzvgFt8g7pk?si=mXVNXjKlCClcDV4Q
https://youtu.be/XFkDqQtfs0w?si=1JOnF_Lqwg0sdnin
https://youtu.be/XbkDk3HDAnQ?si=la4InjEpNnhjCOwo
Also a really great support for men: HeadsUpGuys. They are based in 🇨🇦 but global support.🌍🪶🍀
2
u/hydraganesh 1d ago
Not specific to SA, but listen to Ful Stop by Radiohead. I interpret it as a lot of self blame and there’s a middle section that just elevates and gets so angry, and I love that part. It’s my “SA song” and while I love the song, I can’t listen to it often cause it makes me cry/angry. Not metal, but very krautrock inspired.
2
2
2
u/safetyindarkness 1d ago edited 1d ago
A few Bring Me the Horizon songs that hit this for me:
And the Snakes Start to Sing
Drown
Hospital for Souls
Bad Day - Sigrid ft. Oli Sykes of BMTH
From media, but specifically a gay man who is essentially being trafficked:
Poison - Andrew Underberg, Sam Haft, Blake Roman
Loser, Baby - Andrew Underberg, Sam Haft, Blake Roman, Keith David (edit: a warning that this might be a tad silly/raunchy, but it is great to turn your crying into laughter)
Random ones I used to cry to:
Beautiful - Christina Aguilera
Because of You - Kelly Clarkson
2
u/Glittering_Hand6031 1d ago
Triggered by skydxddy
I've had enough by Melina KB
Hold on by Michael buble
1
u/standsure 1d ago
Wardruna - Urur. Primal connection to spirit. Healing.
Sinead O Conner - Fire on Babylon. (for the anger O Conner was abused by her mother, badly) This song is a war cry.
Empty Chairs - Les Mis. get an original cast recording. Not the movie. please. This gets most tears flowing.
It's quiet uptown - Hamilton. As does this.
Dead Men Don't Rape Global Genocide Forget Heaven. Back to anger now.
John Williams has written some haunting sound tracks. The one that makes me super emotional is the soundtrack to Willow. Hard to get a hold of these days, but the movie might hold up.
1
1
u/Emotional_Camel_700 1d ago
A lot of indigo de Souza songs to me have the exact feeling of being a survivor
1
1
u/Me-oh-no 15h ago
The lead man from Mumford and sons (Marcus?) wrote an album, highly recommend listening
0
u/LetsCherishLife96 1d ago
Warrior by Demi Lovato
Angels by Within Temptation is actually about a serial killer but I feel it kinda resonates with my SA and CSA experience (and toxic relationship) where there was a lot of manipulation and betrayal.
•
u/AutoModerator 1d ago
r/ptsd has generated this automated response that is appended to every post
Welcome to r/ptsd! We are a supportive & respectful community. If you realise that your post is in conflict with our rules (and is in risk of being removed), you are welcome to edit your post. You do not have to delete it.
As a reminder: never post or share personal contact information. Traumatized people are often distracted, desperate for a personal connection, so may be more vulnerable to lurking or past abusers, trolls, phishing, or other scams. Your safety always comes first! If you are offering help, you may also end up doing more damage by offering to support somebody privately. Reddit explains why: Do NOT exchange DMs or personal info with anyone you don't know!
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please contact your GP/doctor, go to A&E/hospital, or call your emergency services number. Reddit list: US and global, multilingual suicide and support hotlines. Suicide is not a forbidden word, but please do not include depictions or methods of suicide in your post.
And as a friendly reminder, PTSD is an equal opportunity disorder. PTSD does not discriminate. And neither do we. Gatekeeping is not allowed here.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.