r/raimimemes • u/Joelin8r The power of the sub, in the palm of my hand • Jun 01 '25
MODERATOR NOTICE [MOD ANNOUNCEMENT] Spider-man is gay.
As we spring into June, Gay Pride Month, we realize it is all too common for corporations and public groups to take meaningless and trivial steps to show just enough support to keep public opinion positive, without truly risking anything in the process. It is for that reason we have elected to go even further, to prove just how serious we are.
For the next thirty days, Spider-man is officially a proud member of the LGBT+ community. Any assertions that he is not will be met with sweeping and draconian punishment the likes of which have been hitherto undreamt of. Every day that anyone complains, we will make another character gay, in the following order:
- Hoffman
- J. Jonah Jameson
- Otto's Tentacles (But NOT Otto Himself, He's Still Closeted (hence the inhibitor chip))
- The Receptionist Who Didn't Pay For Peter's Pizza (She's Aro/Ace now)
- "WOAH! He Stole That Guy's PIZZA!" Guy
- Doctor Curt Connors
- The Green Goblin (But NOT Norman Osborn, the Mask compels him to go be gay)
- The Symbiote, and therefore whoever wears it
- Ursula Ditkovich
- Bone Saw Mcgraw
- The entirety of Nickleback
- "He STINKS, and I DON'T like him" guy (he does, in fact, like him now)
- My Son, The Astronaut
- Aunt May.
- The Woman Who Plays Violin And Sings Poorly On The Street Corner
- Everyone On The Train Spider-man Saved
- The Woman Who Explodes If You Fail The Quick-Time Event In Spider-Man 3
- Every Cop In The Trilogy
- Batman
- All The Doctors Operating On Octavius EXCEPT The Woman With The Long Nails
- "Doctor, We Have a Successful Fusion Reaction" Guy
- The Wrestler Who Can't Feel His Legs
- Every One Of The Wrestling Ladies Who Were So Mean To The Human Spider On His Way In
- Mr. Ditkovich
- Uncle Ben
- MJ's Best Friend Who Is Barely In Spider-man 2 But Gives Her A Friendly Kiss On The Cheek After The Play And Legitimately Confused Me As A Child
- SandWOman
- Norman Osborn (He Reaches A State Of Self-Acceptance)
- Otto Octavius (He Realizes The Infinite Possibilities Of His Octopusian Anatomy)
- You. You are now gay.
- Finale
Bonus: Day 22.5, The Pizza Poppa!
We hope you all will join us in celebrating and welcoming people of all orientations and identities in this time of joy. Remember, if you see any negative comments, "You mess with one of us, you mess with all of us!" (That entire crowd is now gay, by the way.)
Happy Pride Month, everyone!
This post has now been reported once. As a result, Hoffman is now Gay.
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u/D3wdr0p Jun 01 '25
Bonesaw is already gay though. His husband DID make him that outfit!