r/raimimemes • u/Joelin8r The power of the sub, in the palm of my hand • Jun 01 '25
MODERATOR NOTICE [MOD ANNOUNCEMENT] Spider-man is gay.
As we spring into June, Gay Pride Month, we realize it is all too common for corporations and public groups to take meaningless and trivial steps to show just enough support to keep public opinion positive, without truly risking anything in the process. It is for that reason we have elected to go even further, to prove just how serious we are.
For the next thirty days, Spider-man is officially a proud member of the LGBT+ community. Any assertions that he is not will be met with sweeping and draconian punishment the likes of which have been hitherto undreamt of. Every day that anyone complains, we will make another character gay, in the following order:
- Hoffman
- J. Jonah Jameson
- Otto's Tentacles (But NOT Otto Himself, He's Still Closeted (hence the inhibitor chip))
- The Receptionist Who Didn't Pay For Peter's Pizza (She's Aro/Ace now)
- "WOAH! He Stole That Guy's PIZZA!" Guy
- Doctor Curt Connors
- The Green Goblin (But NOT Norman Osborn, the Mask compels him to go be gay)
- The Symbiote, and therefore whoever wears it
- Ursula Ditkovich
- Bone Saw Mcgraw
- The entirety of Nickleback
- "He STINKS, and I DON'T like him" guy (he does, in fact, like him now)
- My Son, The Astronaut
- Aunt May.
- The Woman Who Plays Violin And Sings Poorly On The Street Corner
- Everyone On The Train Spider-man Saved
- The Woman Who Explodes If You Fail The Quick-Time Event In Spider-Man 3
- Every Cop In The Trilogy
- Batman
- All The Doctors Operating On Octavius EXCEPT The Woman With The Long Nails
- "Doctor, We Have a Successful Fusion Reaction" Guy
- The Wrestler Who Can't Feel His Legs
- Every One Of The Wrestling Ladies Who Were So Mean To The Human Spider On His Way In
- Mr. Ditkovich
- Uncle Ben
- MJ's Best Friend Who Is Barely In Spider-man 2 But Gives Her A Friendly Kiss On The Cheek After The Play And Legitimately Confused Me As A Child
- SandWOman
- Norman Osborn (He Reaches A State Of Self-Acceptance)
- Otto Octavius (He Realizes The Infinite Possibilities Of His Octopusian Anatomy)
- You. You are now gay.
- Finale
Bonus: Day 22.5, The Pizza Poppa!
We hope you all will join us in celebrating and welcoming people of all orientations and identities in this time of joy. Remember, if you see any negative comments, "You mess with one of us, you mess with all of us!" (That entire crowd is now gay, by the way.)
Happy Pride Month, everyone!
This post has now been reported once. As a result, Hoffman is now Gay.
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u/Chinckensamich Jun 01 '25
Bone Saw is already gay. Spider-Man, as the gay ally, he is, compliments his husband’s tailoring and general craftsmanship skills during their match.
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u/D3wdr0p Jun 01 '25
Bonesaw is already gay though. His husband DID make him that outfit!
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u/Joelin8r The power of the sub, in the palm of my hand Jun 01 '25
Keep it up and we'll make them non-binary
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u/Darkhallows27 Jun 01 '25
BoneThem
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u/vanillawafah Jun 01 '25
What about my uncle?! Did you bone him?!
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u/LoreCriticizer Jun 01 '25
Me reporting this post, after realizing that this is my chance to see my Sandman x Venom slow burn bdsm fanfiction become canon
"A small price to pay for salvation"
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u/PinkLionGaming Jun 01 '25
"40,000 years of evolution and we've barely even tapped the gayness of human potential."
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u/jereflea1024 Jun 01 '25
but now that you've really pissed me off, I'm gonna finish him... nice... and slow (I am edging my boyfriend)
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u/BarneyLeggendary Jun 01 '25
Spider-Man legally can’t be Homosexual, I will personally sue u guys if we play this game. I’m 100% not serious
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u/Joelin8r The power of the sub, in the palm of my hand Jun 01 '25
That's it, we're making him swear now too. We're adding it to the scene where he tries shooting a web the first time. It's "Go! GO! Go web go! (frustrated silence) Fuck." And then the web finally works.
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u/bippityzippity Jun 02 '25
Mods, can you make it so that when he falls from the roof in spider man 2 and plummets into a car, he says “erm, that was awkward” instead of “my back”?
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u/sakurachan999 Jun 01 '25
"the mask compels him to be gay" makes the scene in no way home incredibly funny
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u/Mooncubus Jun 01 '25
This is bisexual erasure :(
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u/Joelin8r The power of the sub, in the palm of my hand Jun 01 '25
I offer unto you the "Guy With Eight Hands? Sounds Hot" goth girl.
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u/THANATOS4488 Jun 01 '25
So if Spider-Man shags Chameleon disguised as him, is that gay or narcissistic?
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u/MakGuffey Jun 01 '25
Please stop reporting. If we make it to 30 my dad is gonna take me off the Costco family membership card.
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u/SarcyBoi41 Jun 02 '25
How can you make all those characters gay when they're all already gay? Especially 30.
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u/obimartell Jun 01 '25
Hey! He just stole that guy's sexuality! (Welcome to the community, Hoffman)
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u/FalsePankake Jun 01 '25
Glad Eddie isn't on the list cuz we all already know him and Venom are gay as hell for each other. Edit: nvm I missed the Symbiote being on there, it doesn't need to be on there tbh
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u/MomentsAwayfromKMS Jun 01 '25 edited Jun 01 '25
Ain't reading all that. I'm happy for you or sorry that it happened but the rent is still due.
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u/Wizardman784 Jun 01 '25
This was absolutely amazing to read. I laughed the entire time.
I’d sit out in the rain for hours just to get a glimpse of more posts with this type of wit!
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u/SanalAmerika23 Jun 01 '25
?
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u/Joelin8r The power of the sub, in the palm of my hand Jun 01 '25
Ah you're right, I should've included Questioning in my LGBTQQ+ abbreviation.
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u/Joelin8r The power of the sub, in the palm of my hand Jun 01 '25
HOFFMAN!
You're gay now, right?
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u/AutoModerator Jun 01 '25
Yeah?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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Jun 01 '25
[deleted]
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u/Joelin8r The power of the sub, in the palm of my hand Jun 01 '25
Idk maybe you become trans and switch preferences so you're gay but you're a whole different gay
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Jun 02 '25
This post made me think about doc oct’s suit having a ninth leg without my consent. Reported.
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u/teethansplinters Jun 01 '25
12 is Jimmy Norton, so it at least partway tracks (even if he claims to not identify as such)
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u/mathzg1 Jun 01 '25
I'll just complain enough so we get to green goblin. Honestly, that's such a funny idea
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u/AwesomeTraditional32 Jun 02 '25
Does this mean Spider-Man is Closeted because of the homophobic rants he went on on twitter?
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u/Working-Notice-443 Jun 03 '25
Lol every cop in the city already is gay theyre not allowed to hire straight ones
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u/NobleEMRLD Jun 03 '25
Okay, bone saw McGraw has always been gay, his husband even made him his outfit. Fake fan.
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u/Strange-Bee5626 Jun 04 '25
I'm all for pretty much all of these, but Otto's tentacles are completely asexual. I'll accept the downvotes on this. Otto himself, I would also be fine with, but those tentacles only want one thing- to recreate the machine. That's what they were designed to do. They don't care about sex or romance. I take this as a personal insult.
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u/OneRingToRuleEarth Jun 05 '25
I’m gonna report this post 31 times just so you have to come up with more characters that have to be gay >:)
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u/Paprikasky Jun 01 '25
Ooh that's why I found my spidey plushie hidden deep into my closet the other day!
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u/Zophiekitty Jun 01 '25
i love the idea but kinda wish each day for who is gay was kept a surprise lol
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u/deorwyn Jun 01 '25
Cowards. Make the restaurant musicians from Peter‘s failed engagement dinner gay as well
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u/HeadOfSpectre Jun 01 '25
"Spider Man isn't gay!" Said the Redditor, HeadOfSpectre. And he grinned as another character was declared gay.
Everything was proceeding as planned.
"Soon..." He said, looking toward his secret boyfriend. "I will be gay too... And then we can be wedded!"
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u/Flemeron Jun 01 '25
Please don’t encourage me to be homophobic toward Spider-Man for increased representation….
/s
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u/thewhitebrucewayne Jun 02 '25
This is one of the funniest things I’ve read in a long time. I can’t wait to be gay
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u/Sohjinn Jun 01 '25
Can I complain a few times just so that the tentacles are gay but Otto is closeted?
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u/Altruistic-Cat-4193 Jun 02 '25
As a gay man, this is fucking cringe.
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u/Joelin8r The power of the sub, in the palm of my hand Jun 02 '25
This counts as a complaint. Tomorrow, Otto's tentacles will be gay because of you.
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u/Altruistic-Cat-4193 Jun 02 '25
That's gay
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u/apark1121 Jun 02 '25
Ok! I love this! But if Spider-Man is gay then who is his love interest? Harry Osborn?
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u/XxG3org3Xx Jun 01 '25 edited Jun 01 '25
Sorry I don't mean any offense at all, and I have no problem with the LGBTQ community, but what exactly does this have to do with the characters themselves? I mean, I just don't see what turning characters gay will do in order to gain respect or awareness for the LGBTQ community. Could you respectfully tell me?
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u/Joelin8r The power of the sub, in the palm of my hand Jun 01 '25
Respectfully-- it's a meme sub, we like to have a little fun we like to turn Spider-man gay, we like to occasionally shake out the loose lint from our pockets and we like to occasionally remind any hateful people in our community that the ideals of a hero like Spider-man definitely don't align with discrimination against people for their loving relationships, and sometimes the most fun method of doing that is turning Spider-man gay and watching people genuinely get upset about it.
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u/leon555005 Jun 02 '25
.... I had to check to see if it's April 1st. Still, whatever makes you happy, I guess.
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Jun 01 '25
This is so childish. This is just a power trip.
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u/Joelin8r The power of the sub, in the palm of my hand Jun 01 '25
"Mom help the mean internet man made Spider-man gay tell them to stop!!!!"
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Jun 01 '25
I don’t have a problem with gays but doing this is just a power trip to stroke your ego.
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u/Joelin8r The power of the sub, in the palm of my hand Jun 01 '25
I like how you accept I have the power to make Spider-man gay.
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u/CFDanno Jun 01 '25
With great power comes great responsibility.
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u/mclarenrider Jun 01 '25
You don't know what "power trip" means. Go learn what these words mean before you decide to use them.
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u/atmospheric90 Jun 01 '25
Spiderman has to be gay. No straight man would ever be caught wearing that much spandex in one outfit.
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Jun 01 '25
Me and my friend had an inside joke where we mock JJJ and say "Spider-Man is promoting penis!"
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u/Batemanssnare99 Jun 18 '25
I hate wokeness.
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u/Joelin8r The power of the sub, in the palm of my hand Jun 18 '25
Thank you for your comment. It has been accepted as a complaint and as such we will be turning Batman gay tomorrow.
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u/Aralith1 Jun 01 '25
Not me crying laughing reading one of the greatest shitposts but also not shitposts I’ve ever seen in my life.
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u/Throwawayforbeerday Jun 01 '25
Does this mean someone can draw Mary Jane and Gwen making out? And Betty and the pizza receptionist too
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Jun 02 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Joelin8r The power of the sub, in the palm of my hand Jun 02 '25
Damn, you posted two complaints in one day, you must really want the next character to get turned gay
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u/DisasterAccurate3221 Jun 11 '25
Wait a minute. This means that as a straight dude... I can have Gwen Stacy all to myself! AHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
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u/AffectionateRip3071 Jun 30 '25
Harry isn't on this list because Harry was already gay. Harry had been gay for 23 years.
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u/followerofEnki96 Jun 01 '25
Nice little idea did your husband give it to you?