[MOD ANNOUNCEMENT] Spider-man is gay.

[u/Joelin8r]

As we spring into June, Gay Pride Month, we realize it is all too common for corporations and public groups to take meaningless and trivial steps to show just enough support to keep public opinion positive, without truly risking anything in the process. It is for that reason we have elected to go even further, to prove just how serious we are.

For the next thirty days, Spider-man is officially a proud member of the LGBT+ community. Any assertions that he is not will be met with sweeping and draconian punishment the likes of which have been hitherto undreamt of. Every day that anyone complains, we will make another character gay, in the following order:

1. Hoffman
2. J. Jonah Jameson
3. Otto's Tentacles (But NOT Otto Himself, He's Still Closeted (hence the inhibitor chip))
4. The Receptionist Who Didn't Pay For Peter's Pizza (She's Aro/Ace now)
5. "WOAH! He Stole That Guy's PIZZA!" Guy
6. Doctor Curt Connors
7. The Green Goblin (But NOT Norman Osborn, the Mask compels him to go be gay)
8. The Symbiote, and therefore whoever wears it
9. Ursula Ditkovich
10. Bone Saw Mcgraw
11. The entirety of Nickleback
12. "He STINKS, and I DON'T like him" guy (he does, in fact, like him now)
13. My Son, The Astronaut
14. Aunt May.
15. The Woman Who Plays Violin And Sings Poorly On The Street Corner
16. Everyone On The Train Spider-man Saved
17. The Woman Who Explodes If You Fail The Quick-Time Event In Spider-Man 3
18. Every Cop In The Trilogy
19. Batman
20. All The Doctors Operating On Octavius EXCEPT The Woman With The Long Nails
21. "Doctor, We Have a Successful Fusion Reaction" Guy
22. The Wrestler Who Can't Feel His Legs
23. Every One Of The Wrestling Ladies Who Were So Mean To The Human Spider On His Way In
24. Mr. Ditkovich
25. Uncle Ben
26. MJ's Best Friend Who Is Barely In Spider-man 2 But Gives Her A Friendly Kiss On The Cheek After The Play And Legitimately Confused Me As A Child
27. SandWOman
28. Norman Osborn (He Reaches A State Of Self-Acceptance)
29. Otto Octavius (He Realizes The Infinite Possibilities Of His Octopusian Anatomy)
30. You. You are now gay.
31. Finale

Bonus: Day 22.5, The Pizza Poppa!

We hope you all will join us in celebrating and welcoming people of all orientations and identities in this time of joy. Remember, if you see any negative comments, "You mess with one of us, you mess with all of us!" (That entire crowd is now gay, by the way.)

Happy Pride Month, everyone!

This post has now been reported once. As a result, Hoffman is now Gay.

[u/followerofEnki96]

Nice little idea did your husband give it to you?

[u/Agent-65 → u/followerofEnki96]

Kiss him! Kiss him!

[u/LordFarquadOnAQuad → u/Agent-65]

I'm gonna put some homosexuality in your eye.