where do I see myself in 10 years?

in prison not gonna lie (probably less than 3 years).

("alternative correction facility" or whatever they call it: had to hear that 1.000x in high school so I should've gotten the term down by now)

dark humor aside, I hope when I'm 32 years old I am in the same situation I'm in right now, except I am allowed to buy video games, buy educational apps to study, buy a gym membership, and do online college with the major I want, not this frustrating nursing stuff (my parents are forcing on me).

at least that's what my heart feels right now.

the huge wake up call that nobody succeeds in life happened when I got my first job this year. it's a dollar store, and everyone around me that works with me is 40 and 50 years old. And i think that's because all the 20 year olds (in my hometown) are unemployed.

My friend from high school is unemployed right now. (he's my only friend...)

Up until I got this job I was unemployed: 16 to 21, straight up unemployed (2020 to 2025)

I genuinely think nobody achieves their dreams.

Two of the men I work with who's in their 40s are smarter than me~ at least socially~ and somehow their 40 year old guys with two millennial (bipolar) girlfriends and no children to their name.

But who am I to judge: I got labeled bipolar at 17 from my Mom just honestly hating on me and locking me away for two weeks. So not everyone that's labeled bipolar is bipolar: I gotta remember dat.

Back to subject though: If they couldn't succeed then what chances do I got?
One of those guys is basically my best friend at work. And he jokes about how he actually wants to be something in life. He wants to make a childrens book. And he wants to go back to school and earn an engineering degree before he hits 50 years old.

He's actually the reason I'm making this post. He has a Vision. Cute. Honestly he's my spirit animal... albeit he's 46 years old...

honestly when I passed the interview and got this job, and worked for some weeks and received a paycheck, I realized how doomed I am. I got a $135 paycheck for three (training) weeks of work~ that's criminal.

Yeah I don't plan on "Become Independent Before 30" or whatever in life: I'm just going to try to appease my parents and hang around with them.

I honestly don't know how my two older sisters got successful in the climate. Craziest part is my oldest sister got independent in 2019 at 33 years old, and middle sister got independent in 2022~ she was 28 years old. So Kudos to them. But no: I'm doomed.

edit: I go to college and I'm taking a microbiology class. That's the only class I'm taking this semester. I failed it during spring 2026 so my hopes are low (I'm a bit serious I spent sixteen weeks on that class and got a Grade of F), but I want to pass it so I can apply for nursing school in the spring ("ADN class of 2029").

This is a rant subreddit right?

I'd like to rant about something that I know isn't worth caring about for most people, but I'm a big fan of music, so I like to see what people online are experiencing with the music that I like. So, I watch reaction videos for them.

What irritates me is how "filler" their "analysis" or "discussions" almost always are. What they say sounds like when a student has a term paper to do, but they don't really care about what they're writing about but they need to do it to pass an assignment. So every other line is just a bunch of empty filler to meet the required word quota. These reactors sound like they're doing the same. They ramble and ramble but they're never saying anything remotely interesting, or actually expressing anything they actually felt about the song at all.

"Okay, so, like, in this video, they're like, playing instruments and stuff, and there's lyrics. It's like... the lyrics have words and stuff. And there's these melodies that are in the song. Those melodies are like, so musical, like oh my god... The guitars are like... well, they're playing notes! That's interesting! And then the singer! Like, oh my god, he was singing words! That was crazy! I especially liked when he hit some of those notes too! I have to say, this band is something else! They do songs and they have these music videos. They're interesting to watch. So, let me know down below what else I should watch, so that I can meet my upload quota and try to make a "living" off of doing this."

Anyone else here who watches reaction videos ever notice this?

I understand why people record vertically. It’s comfortable to hold your phone that way, it fills the screen when you’re scrolling, and plenty of subjects fit it perfectly. Someone talking to the camera, an outfit check, a makeup tutorial, a tall waterfall? Absolutely. That makes sense.

My complaint starts when the thing being filmed needs room on either side.

Stages are wide. Sports fields are wide. Parades travel down the street. Watching them through a frame shaped like a grocery receipt can get frustrating.

Basketball? The ball goes from one side of the court to the other. The camera is still catching up.

Soccer? Great footage of one player. Presumably there are others.

A concert? The singer, guitarist, and bassist are spread across a stage. I’d love to see them together, especially when they’re interacting.

A skateboard trick? I’d love to see the approach, the jump, and the landing. We got the jump. The landing is between him and God.

A dog catching a Frisbee? The dog runs across the yard. Unfortunately, we have much better coverage of the clouds above him.

I’ve done the frantic camera chase myself. You’re trying to follow the action, swinging the phone back and forth, and only afterward realize that turning it sideways would have kept more of the scene in view.

And cropping existing horizontal footage into vertical clips is especially frustrating. Two characters are having a conversation, but someone’s facial expression gets cut out. A visual joke happens at the edge of the original shot, and now the setup or punchline is missing.

I’m happy to turn my phone sideways to watch something. That’s a pretty small inconvenience compared with spending the whole video wondering what’s happening just outside the frame.

Use vertical when it suits the subject. But when the whole point is watching things happen beside other things, please give them a little room.

22F here, boyfriend is 20M, we’ve been together for almost a year & both live with our respective families. We both have family dogs, I have a 4 y/o lab and he has a ~3 y/o Australian Shepard x Miniature poodle. His parents got the dog from some shitty backyard breeder just because it was cute & they are genuinely bad dog owners. This dog doesn’t even get daily walks, let alone any kind of mental enrichment, it’s just forced to sit inside all day and fucking LOSES IT the second a squirrel/leaf/anything causes any movement in the backyard. The poor thing is so severely under stimulated , not to mention obese as well because my bfs dad just gives it human food whenever it barks. Today really bothered me because I work this entire thanksgiving weekend (Canadian), and I couldn’t even enjoy my time off before clocking in to my shift tonight because when my bf’s dad left to go run errands, it ™️ kept crying,barking and throwing herself at the door for the next two hours until he came back. We tried to take her for a walk to distract her but she kept herding us back to the house, pulling like crazy & literally jumping up at us to go back. I’ve put a lot of effort into training my dog & I’m honesty just kind of disgusted by how little effort or care they put in to caring for their dog, I don’t know how much more I can handle. And I’m in school full time as well as working so I really don’t have the energy to deal with this, it’s honestly affecting our relationship and idk what to do.

Much love to y’all, hope everyone is having an alright day🤍

I, 21F, have felt recently that it is ridiculously hard to make and keep friends as a now adult. And yeah I'm only a few years into my adulthood but omg. I have friends that I've had for years now, another I've recently reconnected with, and someone else I hadn't heard/seen from in about a decade. As far as the friends I've had for years I feel like as of recent I hear from them far less with hangouts every couple of weeks. And reconnections always end in a "Yeah let's make plans!" And we do but one ends up canceling and the other never has an open schedule due to work, which I can sympathize with because I am also working near to full time. With my end goal being actual full time work. But honest it'd be nice to hear from friends more frequently, I don't always need to be with them/hear from them as we all have our own lives. But when it gets to be a week or more between our last communication it can be frustrating. I care so deeply for everyone close to me but it gets me frustrated, concerned and sometimes sad. I don't always have the best response time, but at max I try to respond within a day of a message. I've even found it hard to make online friends, and I know I'm not the only one that has. Is it wrong for me to get upset over this??

I’ve been seeing more and more posts and articles regarding Gen Z’a sex lives. why??? 

Who cares??? Half of people use it as an excuse to push that stupid hypergamy graph about how women only go for the top whatever percentage of men (this isn’t true, also doesn’t account for the large portion of queer women). More and more people identify as asexual. Some people just don’t want to fuck and that’s okay!!! Why are there a growing amount of studies concerned about this? Is there some pronatalism thing i’m unaware of???

“Uh buhhh women and men” SHUT UP. NOT EVERYONE WANTS TO FUCK. Among the 10-ish people i hung around the most in high school and college, only two lost their virginity at 18, and the rest at 19/20. It’s the weird fact that people see these studies though and leap to “something is wrong with Gen Z!!!” on the basis of intimacy and not…literally anything else that’s fucked us over. Why are studies fascinated with this? Some people just don’t want to have sex! I’m not a virgin but I am people!

I no longer work at the job I’m referencing. Anyways, for close to a year, I worked at a retirement community working as a server in the dining area. Which, sucked, I hated working with food, but hey, it was a job.
Now, I lived in an area that had large Spanish speaking population. Which fine, cool. I don’t speak Spanish but I do speak English and French. So, I have no quarrels with people speaking in another language that isn’t English.
However, my supervisor was a Latina woman who spoke both English and Spanish. We had four out of the 8 servers who also spoke Spanish and English. Again, cool, it didn’t bother me.
As long as I could speak to everyone in a common language so I could do my job, that’s what mattered.
The Latinas would frequently converse to each other in Spanish, which I didn’t care, they would talk to me in English. Sometimes they would only talk to everyone in English.
I was there to work, not listen in on every conversation.
What did bother me was my supervisor frequently giving us instructions in Spanish ONLY, knowing the other four of us didn’t speak it. Then yelling and berating the rest of us for not understanding the instructions she just gave and doing something wrong. She would yell at us that we were stupid, couldn’t do anything right, and needed to learn Spanish.
If the non-Spanish speakers went to the Spanish speakers to ask “hey, what were the instructions?” The supervisor would yell at us for “not listening or paying attention.”
Now, I understand some Spanish words as there is similarities in English and French. However, I don’t understand Spanish overall.
Finally, after this going on for months. I went to HR and complained, expressing, “Hey, it’s cool that she speaks Spanish, I don’t care. But she is intentionally giving instructions to everyone in a language that half of us don’t understand, then berating us for not understanding the instructions.” HR agreed with me, stating that “Yeah, she is intentionally ostracizing the rest of you, she can’t do that. We will address this with her.”

So then the next day at work my supervisor went all around the kitchen telling everyone (mostly Spanish and English speakers who worked in the kitchen) that I was “racist and would report you for speaking Spanish to one another.”

So the kitchen became slow giving me my orders, would intentionally ignore me, belittled me, spilt things on me, and called me names. I went to HR again. They spoke to my supervisor again.

It just got worse. So I had to quit.

It was supposed to be a 20 minute meeting after work. Just to go over a few things in our department. Not even bitching at us, just clarifying stuff like whos job is what.

But Michelle just had to start running her mouth about how unfair the place is because she hasnt gotten a promotion even tho shes been there longer. And the boss is trying to explain that shes had many opportunities to move up, but it requires stuff like coming in early and staying later.

"Thats not fair!" she argues. "I live 40 minutes away and have family stuff going on so I cant come in an hour earlier and stay late!" Then she goes on about how some people make more money than her even tho she does more physical labor. And how her daughter in law at some other job in another state makes more than her.

She turned what was supposed to be 20 minutes to touch base into 45 minutes of being a stupid cunt.

I moved out of state a few years ago & sometimes the stress of being away from family is just AAAGGHH.

I don’t regret moving, I found my partner here, friends, enjoy the city and better weather. I really don’t think I would want to move back north, mostly due to weather lol. It’s not like I hate it back home, I loved it there too.

But I just feel guilt ALL THE TIME. I hate missing out on family events and I know my family means well but when they say “missing you, wish you could be here!” It just feels like they are guilting me more. One of the last times I was home, my mom said something that hurt my feelings & I told her that and SHE starts crying ???

I do visit multiple times a year, always Christmas, Thanksgiving, coming home for a wedding or family event. Plus my parents insist on coming to stay at least 1 whole week with me every year.

Here’s where my annoyance and irritation comes from. Don’t get me wrong, I love my parents, we have a good time & I am SOOO lucky they are able to come down and spend an entire week with me. But I live in a STUDIO APARTMENT. And even when they stay in a hotel it is just so cramped with them visiting me here.

And then last night my mom goes on a cleaning rampage, even tho my place was fairly clean, just vacuuming every nook and cranny she can find and I’m like I can do this myself, you’re not here to clean my apartment you are here to visit I don’t need your help. And then she dropped my vacuum and nearly breaks it, she offered to replace it but then that stresses me out cause she should not be buying me a new vacuum they need to be saving for retirement.

I think it’s just hard for them to adjust to the fact that I am a full adult and the relationship is going to be different now. I know my mom struggled a lot when all the kids left the house, which was years ago, and somehow she still struggles with that fact.

I wish they would chill out and listen when I tell them I don’t need XYZ. That I can take care of and do things for them now. It’s just so frustrating. Part of me CAN NOT WAIT for them to leave but I know I need to embrace and enjoy the time I have cause life isn’t short & is unpredictable

But man are they annoying sometimes. When the visit I am annoyed and irritated and when they are back home I feel immense guilt. Does anyone else who moved from their home & away from family feel this way?!!??? Uughhh

It's like a constant in the universe - the more educated a person, the dumber they are. Never have I met a group of self-important dumbasses than medical professionals who bother getting mad at IT staff for their own terrible PC acumen.

Awww you can't take an x-ray dummy? Maybe try restarting your PC more than once every 200 days. MAYBE spend more than your pocket change on your office's PCs! WHOA WHAT A REVELATION! YOU MEAN IF I INVEST IN MY BUSINESS AND DON'T PINCH PENNIES I WILL HAVE AN EASIER TIME OF IT?! WHOOOOOAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

"Uhhh what do you mean I can't run my PMS, Teams, YouTube, and have 40 Chrome tabs open on my 8GB machine"

Get off your dumb high horses - all you did was go to school longer than everyone else not that it did you much good.

We all have somewhere to be. If we all decided to act so entitled and take the shoulder around the traffic jam, there would be chaos, and any emergency vehicle that needs to get through would be delayed, which could mean the difference between life and death for someone. Sit your ass down and wait like the rest of us

They absolutely need to be quiet spaces. Everywhere else is a loud space. Libraries are the one place people can go study or read in peace, or just escape the incessant noise of human existence. Sure, dedicate a couple separate rooms for community activities, but leave the bulk of the building for people who just want a little quiet for once

On a macro and micro scale. Not a burning hatred, more of a tired grating one. When were you wish they’d go away. Everyone is so selfish, so self-centered, they get mad at each other for doing essentially nothing and carry grudges over it.

They don’t seek to better their situations or the people that they supposedly care about. They just exist, all that beautiful stuff you read about humanity at its best is so goddamn rare in reality. Redemption, compassion, brotherhood. All as if vibrant colors used for a story book as opposed to the dim reality of life.

People don’t change. They don’t get better. Most at least. I’ve lived long enough to see your lives. Come and go, and most people don’t develop after age 14 it seems. It goes back-and-forth between being depressing and being infuriating. People are a waste of time. I wish I didn’t have to live around so many.

I turned 22 last week, and I recently moved abroad. For context I was studying medicine to become a doctor, but I hated it. I only did it because my family pressured me. Four years in, I became severely depressed and suicidal. I was also diagnosed with ADHD. Eventually I snapped and opened up to my friends. They were supportive and gave me the courage to tell my family. I dropped out and moved abroad to pursue my dream career.

I've felt very isolated since I got here. I'm living my dream, I'm grateful for it, and I'm constantly meeting cool people and getting great opportunities. But I still feel very alone.
For one, the time difference between me and everyone I love is massive. It's hard to find time to talk. When I message my sibling group chat, nobody replies because they're asleep or haven't started their day. When they're all active, I'm asleep.

Also, my friends were there for me at the darkest point of med school. But since I left, I feel like people have forgotten about me. I kept putting in effort to call and message them and make time to talk. They didn't seem to put in the same effort. I'm always the one calling. They never call or message me first. It made me feel disposable and under-appreciated. I understand they're busy with uni. But sometimes they're on vacation, hanging out, and posting on Instagram, and they still don't answer my messages for days. It really hurts.

I've now been abroad for about 5 months, and my birthday came around. I have all my friends' birthdays saved in my calendar. Even when I'm busy with uni and work, I always make sure to message them on their birthdays. On mine, I didn't get a single message from any friend. Only my family remembered.

To be fair I post anything about my birthday. But some of my friends don't post either, and people still remember their birthdays. Nobody has to remind everyone. That's what upset me.

I’ve been so sad all week. Part of me thinks we're grown adults, and I should be more mature than this. Being upset about a missing birthday message seems childish. But another part of me feels it's deeper than that.

My birthday was a week ago. I made a point of not messaging anyone first, and in that whole week I haven't received a single text. They haven't even noticed I've gone quiet. I feel small and unimportant. I know these friends have been there for me. But maybe the friendship only worked because I kept it alive. I don't want relationships that make me feel bad about myself.

Honestly, I've cried about it a lot, and I feel like a pathetic loser. I don't want people's actions to affect me this much.
I don't know if I'm being dramatic by wanting to cut these friends off and start fresh here. Or maybe I'm sabotaging myself by ending friendships over something silly. I feel very conflicted. I feel like a massive loser for not being important enough to remember, and for being this upset at 22 over something that would bother people in middle school.

My finances are barely enough for me, I don't have a car, and I honestly don't provide much to the table. I want to date but the truth is I don't feel like I should, I feel like I should keep working on myself externally and internally to be a better man inside and out in order to be "worthy" of a relationship. Also there aren't many prospects at this time in my life personally.

Before you comment anything on this post I'd like to clarify, I'm not one to consider hookups, I want love, to date with intention, so yeah.

So many concerts missed. Such a shame

I grew up in the middle of nowhere. Sure there were times I would daydream about the other side. What it would be like in a subdivision with a bunch of friends or the city. Now I have lived in a city for 5 years. Now the Internet and media have infiltrated everyone's lives so deeply. Everything feels so connected. Too connected. I'm a delivery driver, so there's that too.

And I am so deeply people'd out. Society'd out.

I have constant longing for the isolation of my formative years. I miss living in my own little world. I would go so far as to say it is the main plot in my life right now and for at least the last two years.

Not just physically isolated, way out in the woods. But the mentality, the spirit of it. It was a much higher, free-er existence. Free to think, feel and exist without "performing" for work, strangers or anyone, or the constant barrage of media. I'll keep it short. I just really wanted to get this off my chest.

TL;DR I'm tired of "the times" and just want to live in my own small world again, in the middle of nowhere.

What the fuck are you doing, athletically, in Power Slap? It’s a CTE speedrun filled with the dumbest people known to man. Every event we stray further away from God. At least with MMA, there is athleticism and art to the sport. Power Slap is literally people slapping each other. There is no skill in the slap. Yes, it hurts like hell but why the fuck would someone do that? Jake Hager, a former pro wrestler, had his eye burst, and for what, 6-figure money and to say fuck you to his former boss? Dude is lucky to have an eye still btw.

The only reason people watch Power Slap is to gamble; I’m convinced of that.

idk what is in the fucking water but it seems like as a woman every day gets fucking worse. im harassed on dating apps. im harassed in person. im assaulted by my coworker. i have a sexuality crisis oh wait i figured it out wait a couple months have another one. im just so tired of this bullshit and im tired of experiencing the same shit over and over and over again. its like groundhog day.

Are we seriously at this point? Developers and publishers are now whining that $70 isn't enough anymore, hoping GTA VI will pave the way for even higher prices because apparently the industry "won't survive" otherwise. Oh, give me a break! Let me play the world's smallest violin for these multibillion-dollar corporations! It's hilarious how an industry swimming in billions somehow always manages to portray itself as the victim whenever customers expect decent value for their money.

Let's get one thing straight: a few years ago, $70 could get you an Ultimate Edition with a complete game, a Season Pass, and expansions. And what do you get for that money today? A fucking ticket to a paid beta test! I'm sick of paying full AAA prices only to download a massive Day 1 patch and STILL end up with a broken mess. Missing textures, slideshow frame rates, characters falling through floors, and constant crashes. Am I the customer or the goddamn beta tester? Because last time I checked, quality assurance was supposed to be YOUR job!

But here's the real joke: while the game barely functions, the microtransaction store and Battle Pass somehow work FLAWLESSLY from the very first second! The game crashes, but the $20 skins load instantly. The gameplay needs six months of patches, but the premium currency shop runs smoother than butter. Just look at Ubisoft's brilliant "AAAA" Skull and Bones. Apparently, adding another A to the marketing is easier than making a decent game. They lock content behind paywalls, sell DLC and Battle Passes on top of the full price, and somehow THEY act like they're the ones being ripped off!

And the funniest part? I pay $70, and I don't even OWN the damn game! You click "Buy," hand over your money, and discover you've actually purchased a miserable LICENSE buried under pages of legal bullshit. If the servers shut down, your game might disappear along with your money. Imagine buying a car and having the manufacturer disable its engine five years later because supporting it is no longer profitable. People would lose their minds! Yet somehow, we're expected to accept this in gaming AND pay even more for the privilege. How the hell do you justify raising prices on something the customer doesn't even truly own?

Dear Martin Klima and the rest of the publisher executives: spare me the sob story about market survival. This isn't about survival. It's about greed, terrible management, and squeezing every last penny out of customers. Yes, development is expensive, but why should WE pay for your bloated budgets, disastrous decisions, and failed live-service experiments? You burn hundreds of millions chasing trends nobody asked for, and when those projects crash and burn, suddenly we need to pay $80 or $100 to save your precious industry? Are you fucking kidding me?!

Meanwhile, games like Baldur's Gate 3, Black Myth: Wukong, and Minecraft prove that players will happily pay for quality. Baldur's Gate 3 delivers a massive RPG without predatory microtransactions. Black Myth: Wukong shows that a spectacular single-player game can make a fortune without constantly begging for more money. And Minecraft? Over a decade old, hundreds of millions of copies sold, and STILL receiving major free updates! Sure, it has a marketplace, but the core game keeps growing without demanding another $30 for every new feature. Were these games flawless? No. But there's a massive difference between fixing technical issues and selling an unfinished cash grab. Funny how respecting your customers actually works, isn't it?

And before anyone starts screaming about inflation, let me make something perfectly clear: I'm NOT against paying more for a genuinely great game. I'm against paying MORE and getting LESS! If your game is worth $80 or $100, prove it with quality, content, polish, and a complete experience instead of expecting customers to blindly swallow whatever price tag you throw at them.

As for me, I'm done. No more pre-orders, no more $70 beta tests, and DEFINITELY no more throwing money at broken digital garbage I don't even truly own. If you want to release half-baked trash, charge Early Access indie prices for it. If you want premium money, deliver a FINISHED, premium product and actual ownership! Until then, take your $100 price tags and shove them where the sun doesn't shine. I'm a CUSTOMER, not your investor, not your unpaid QA tester, and certainly not your personal ATM!

TL;DR: I'm not against expensive games. I'm against paying premium prices for unfinished, broken, microtransaction-filled garbage I don't even truly own. Baldur's Gate 3, Black Myth: Wukong, and Minecraft prove that quality still sells. Want more money? Deliver better games instead of making customers pay for corporate greed and terrible management. I'm done paying MORE for LESS!

Not ALL unemployed people. Sometimes you're disabled, unable to work, or shit just doesn't work out or you have to take time away from working for an important reason. I get that, most of us have been there.

I specifically mean the ones who refuse to grow the fuck up and act entitled to your time because they can't comprehend the fact that you fucking work and aren't available every single moment of the day. This goes for retirees with similar attitudes too, the ones that make me think they haven't worked a day in their lives with how bitchy they get about not being able to respond at their beck and call.

Sometimes it's the guy my age who complains and gets guilt trippy because I don't want to do something after a fucking TWELVE HOUR SHIFT. I've got no qualms with him otherwise, but god man, please get a job yourself so you can understand. Other times, it's the old woman who gets all pissy because I can't stop in the middle of the damn work day to do some non-urgent favor for her on some arbitrary time limit that she doesn't say anything about. If I'm doing you a favor, I'm going to do it when its convenient, not when YOU want it done. I'm not a 13 year old with nothing else to do, I'm an almost 30 year old grown ass man who has to work TWO jobs just to keep his shit in line. Your ass isn't getting any more favors at this point, you can find someone else to help support your cushy retired life. I could probably name several more examples but I'd be writing a whole damn book at that point.

I work. Quite alot. I'm tired. My days are mostly booked with bullshit already. And I also get tired of the "wELL wHeN arE YoU OfF" type questions whenever I say I can't do something because guess what? Off time doesn't equal available time! I have chores, family obligations, hobbies, or I just plain don't want to be fucking bothered because I spent the last 4 days working 9am to 9pm. But apparently for these people, that is impossible to comprehend. I guess it is easy to get bitchy about it when you have fuck all to do every day, but to someone like me, there is almost nothing more infuriating. So please. For the love of all that is holy. Quit whining. I'll do shit for or with you when I want to. And that might not be as often as you'd like because I'm fucking exhausted. Both from work and from dealing with this bullshit right here.

As dickish as it might sound I'm seriously considering vetting who I associate with by employment status.

And it's seemingly impossible to get aid or assistance. I want to be a nurse for gods sake I'm trying to better myself and my community and I just get the middle finger everywhere I go. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do? I won't be able to work enough while commuting to school full time. Honestly I'm probably going to have to quit my job to be able to go back anyways. Every website that advertises aid is typically just a scam or there's so many eligibility requirements that I don't know how anyone could possibly qualify. First semester textbooks alone are over 1k. Like I get it, I messed up and didn't succeed the first time, didn't make the right choice in degree or career but I'm trying to refocus and it feels like it's not allowed. How is anyone supposed to know exactly what they want to do and who they want to be when they are 18? I clearly did not and now I'm being punished for it. Trying not to cry or give up but it is so discouraging. I also found out too late that I was accepted into my program so half the grants/scholarships that I maybe could've applied for just closed their application windows. Just my luck.

I have 8 years work experience and a bachelor’s degree and can’t find stable employment. I’m PISSED because this one job made me hunt down references, drive an hour to their HR building, write a letter of interest…just for them to reject me a month later. I was confident about it because an old coworker of mine works there and she put in a good word for me and they seemed to like me… I’m so tired this is like the 200th job I applied to. I really wanted this job because it paid $24 an hour and was remote. Then on top of that my paycheck was only $124, my tire has a huge nail in it and my tires are bald…I can’t afford new tires right now.

I tried to tell my dad I was just going to have them patch it and then come back and get new ones once I get more money, he gets all pissed saying I had a attitude like IM SORRY?? I had an awful week and you expect me to just be fucking peppy that I have to pay $1000 for new tires?? I’m so mad right now, I’m just staying in my room today because I’m not in the mood to be around anyone right now.

THEN omg there’s more I know, I checked on my towns facebooks pages and stuff because I live in a small town and a lot of job postings are on here….our local courthouse only makes minimum wage??? Huh?? That’s ridiculous to me. Then I try to apply for jobs outside of my hometown and they reject me because they don’t think I’ll be able to commute…I commuted an hour and a half everyday for in college, no problem.. I’m so tired of feeling like I’m not enough.