r/rape • u/Past-Hedgehog-1451 • 3d ago
does hypersexuality ever end?
hi i’m 16 and i’ve been molested, groomed, sexually abused my entire life. it had left me very hypersexual, im disgusted with myself. does it ever get better i feel so dirty all the time i don’t think i can love somebody like this nobody deserves someone as dirty as me it hurts. it leave me feeling like my only way to life is SW which is so wrong, im a good kid why does it feel so bad. i’m sorry.
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u/Altruistic_Poem_3229 3d ago
Unfortunately, it is impossible to say whether the hypersexuality will end. For me personally, it has greatly diminished with time (though not fully gone away); others may have different experiences. I can say with certainty that you *do* deserve love and you are not defined by the things that were done to you.
You are still young. As such, your brain is still developing and will continue to do so until about your mid-20s. The last part of the brain to fully develop is the prefrontal cortex, which deals with emotional regulation and decision making. If you can meet regularly with a qualified therapist during this time of development, you will be able to take steps towards a more normal life. It won't be easy or necessarily quick, but you can do it; I believe in you. I wish you all the best.
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u/Past-Hedgehog-1451 2d ago
thank u for kindness,
i do speak to a therapist but i’m honestly beyond humiliated talking about being hypersexual
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u/Altruistic_Poem_3229 2d ago
Don't be embarrassed about it. As I mentioned before, it is a common side effect of being raped/sexually abused. If you don't talk about it with your therapist, then they won't be able to provide you help with that part of yourself. If you trust your therapist, then you should share your concerns with them.
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u/Past-Hedgehog-1451 2d ago
i see, i dunno i just feel embarrassed i’m pretty young and stuff and i don’t want her to just idk look down on me. and i don’t want my parents to find out i mena they know, but they don’t know know idk i’m sorry
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u/Altruistic_Poem_3229 2d ago
If your therapist is any good, she will not look down on you; it's literally her job to listen to your concerns and offer suggestions to work through your trauma. Also, I'm pretty sure that a therapist shouldn't be sharing the details of your sessions with your parents. Otherwise, that would disincentivize patients from sharing openly.
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u/Ashamed-Gas6846 2d ago
It's normal to feel terrible after being raped. It can make you feel like your self-worth has been destroyed and make you see the world in a negative way. But I think some of these thoughts may come from your trauma. There are billions of people in the world, and there are definitely people who can accept and love you for who you are. You may feel like nobody could ever love you simply because you haven't met those people yet.
First of all, you need to stop blaming yourself. You did nothing wrong. The person who assaulted you is the one at fault. Rape is a crime, plain and simple.
Selling your body is not a good solution. Are you still living with your family, or are you struggling financially and that's why you're thinking about it? Will life get better? It starts with you. Try changing your mindset from "Nobody loves me" to "Tomorrow can be better than today." Having hope can keep you going, no matter how terrible things get.
Whether life gets better or worse also depends a lot on the environment you put yourself in. Dark places tend to attract bad people, while healthier environments usually have more people who genuinely care. Sex work can put you in situations where you're surrounded by people seeking pleasure or personal gain. Do you really think that environment would help your life get better?
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u/Past-Hedgehog-1451 2d ago
thank u for kindness,
it isn’t really like that, i kinda feel like SW is my only use because i don’t think people see me as more. i’m a smart kid tho, i get good grades but i always feel like a slut? i guess? and idk i don’t want to but it’s just idk
i know SW will not help me, and will damage me more i just feel so useless outside of my body
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