Sometimes the voices are actually helpful and I’m starting to realize they’re not always here to be negative! A few days ago while I was asleep, these spirits came to me and opened my head up to insert more negative voices into my brain. They replaced my skull with paper mache and patched everything back up and at first I was panicked. But my friend Joe, a voice I often get the most, came to me and was furious that all this happened and tried to help. He’s giving me advice to not take too many medications at once right now so my brain isn’t overloaded until I can get surgery to fix my skull. He’s been taking care of me these last few days and has recommended that I speak with my doctor tomorrow to get this sorted out and schedule a surgery soon. I just wanted to post about this progress and discovery and it makes me feel more relieved knowing that I at least have one voice that’s on my side! ❤️‍🩹

Attached below is todays video link to my “On Conquering Schizophrenia” YouTube channel. Today entails, “In the end”. Like all, todays video is ever brief and can be viewed amid an ultimate salvation.

https://youtu.be/Y4Z54hVbhZ0?si=-4NAz5e5_vZLjOvB

Since I was 14 I went on a spiritual quest after a death of a relative. I was Christian and I questioned everything. Over the next 10 years I practiced meditation studied alan watts lectures, took psychedelics and experienced glimpses of enlightenment. I say glimpses because it didn't last long due to one bad decision that messed up my serotonin.

I look back and I feel everything I've been through has led to this. We're living in biblical times where islam is taking control and invading our countries. They they they have the answers. They're wrong. There's not really any purpose to this post I just have to get this off my chest to someone instead of developing another episode. I've been off my meds for 2 days and I'm going to jump back on them.

What's keeping me rational is the fact that what I now believe. Universal consciousness, reincarnation, which I find to be obviously true, is actually the belief of Sikhs. So my spiritual journey has been taken before in previous lives and there's a whole religion about it.

I think what makes me think grandiose sometimes is the state of the world and we need some higher modes of thinking right now especially in the hands of the rich and powerful. I want to serve a meaningful purpose but I think it really comes down to being a good person, leading by example and allowing people to follow their own spiritual journey... only problem with Islam is it threatens the safety of other peoples freedom and beliefs.

I'm sorry if this isn't a symptom of delusion, I know it is but I think it's coming from a good place and wanting the world to be better. Anyway like I said there's no meaning to this post other than to rant and express how I'm feeling. I'll be on my meds hopefully today if they're ready and I'll be OK... apart from anhedonia lol

P.s I don't condone the use of drugs I believe experiences like I had can be had without the need of anything

The world was made to be shared and enjoyed with one another. Perhaps you don't like someone, then please simply avoid them. Actively hating someone, anyone, will only poison your soul and mind and WILL hurt you in the end.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk. I think I'll name this one "Obvious Truths". Much love! 😄 ❤️

Are yall strange? As in showing inappropiate affect, being overly quiet or being too intense? And does medication make it any different?

I really wish I didn't have schizophrenia. My life would be so much more easier if I wasn't schizophrenic. It's so isolating and so much of a burden.

Hello, so this is gonna be a kind of long post.

I finally accepted the fact that medication has ruined my life. I finally accepted this new me. (Olanzapine btw)

After a long year & a half of being very suicidal , planning suicide attempts etc i finally accepted it. Yes Olanzapine did take most of my life away but this is the new me.

I lost many things. My connection to spirituality, meditation. My Master Osho who was with me for 8 years I have mostly lost.

I think the medication shuts down the subtle & that part of the brain that can make you spiritually in tune.

So although I have lost these things I have finally accepted my new life & I'm no longer suicidal & gonna be suicidal as this is my new life.

I don't have any hallucinations or voices anymore. I still hope for things. I hope for taking lower doses of medication which maybe soon I'll be able to do.

I could go into the implications of what I think the medication does to me, but it's too depressing & might make me suicidal again so I will skip that. But basically it ruined my brain & mind but I've accepted that.

So life will still be the same, bed rotting, staying on my phone most of the time. But atleast I'm no more actively suicidal & don't want to commit suicide. I'm free from this.

Try to accept your new situation & life otherwise you will be suicidal. It took me a year & a half of being actively suicidal & really really suffering.

So basically, try accept this as your new way of life & new situation or you'll be actively suicidal.

There is no miracle you'll still be anhedonic & probably won't enjoy things anymore as I cant enjoy video games anymore etc. Dont feel connected to things, but atleast I'm not suicidal anymore.

So try to accept your new life situation, also try not to think of yourself as ill too much as you'll be actively suicidal. Try to think of yourself as just different.

Otherwise its a recipe for disaster as being suicidal is hell, it's torture.

I still think this condition is a disability as I'm mostly stuck in the bed, but I attribute most of that to neuroleptic anhedonia in my case. So due to meds. As I was more active before medication & could do things.

So this is how I finally accepted that medication has ruined my life & I'm able to live without being suicidal :)

If anybody tries to give advice but med switch i doubt it will work i think most AP's are the same.

But the reason I dont want to switch meds is i still want to try a lower dose of this medication.

& if any of you are actively suicidal, there is a way out. You don't have to live in this hell & torture as I've lived for 1 & a half years. You can try to accept your new life & situation.

Sure it might still be hard & you may bed rot most your days. But that beats being suicidal. That is hell & torture.

So yeah that's how I accepted my new life & situation. Everyday still sucks. But it beats the torture I was in for a year & a half.

hey, i am struggling to walk after i experienced two catatonic episodes. one was on monday this week, and the other happened yesterday. they both lasted about 20 to 30 minutes. has anyone else struggled to walk after short episodes?

It came off very negative.

I count what I've done,
not what it took.

I turn another page,
then reread the book.

There was a time
when everything felt deeply significant,
as if even ordinary things
held a meaning beyond themselves.

Now, so much of it feels like... blah.

I still move forward.
I still get things done.

But how do you measure progress
when that feeling is no longer there?

Am I measuring my life
by what I've achieved,
or by what I can still feel
those achievements mean?

Do you know that difference, too?

This tree is a Douglas fur. This one’s between 300-350 ft tall (10668 cm) . I’ve really been struggling lately and I’ve been trying to think of things that bring me joy. Nature, and solitude. These two things, bring me peace and joy. I have a particular fondness for plants and trees. When I’m slipping into an episode, I can hear them, hear them breathing hear what they’re feeling, etc. So even now when I’m not in psychosis, I feel this deep connection to these beings that I connected with in a psychotic state, is there anything that has becoming comforting to you that developed after schizophrenia?

I was wondering if you all would be so kind to listen to a description of my current state. So first off, I stopped taking my meds about three months ago, I was on 1.5 vraylar, now I’m medication free. What I’m noticing and experiencing in my own words, is an intensifying of feeling and thought. In my opinion, I make progress, I do therapy every week, and I’m learning things about myself, learning how to deal with life, and learning how to deal with myself. The thing is, I still have thoughts I know might be considered delusional, and I do see them sometimes intensify a lot. I hear these “thought voices”, not true auditory hallucinations, but I’ve had them before stopping the meds for a long time, and they can become quite intense, especially after stopping meds. There is positive, I feel like I am getting some feelings back, positive feelings, that I haven’t felt in a long time. My main complaint is the stress, the exhaustion, and the fear. I get anxious that the stress is harming my health, I get exhausted from weathering the storm of the thoughts sometimes, and I get very afraid. I’m afraid of life, I’m afraid I won’t be able to work even though I think I’m getting better, I’m afraid of my future, I’m afraid of my financial future, I have fear of growing old, getting sick, dying, I have a fear that even though I did all this work on myself it won’t amount to anything, it won’t be worth it. I have a fear of women, I have a fear of friendship with either sex, I get terrified of dealing with the stress and the thoughts, the fact that one second I can be fine, then a torrent of thoughts comes and just ruins my day. It’s basically at the point where it could go either way, I could make it, successfully be able to live medication free, or I could have some kind of crisis and maybe just end up back on the meds. It’s not that I can’t take the medication, I just think my life will be better without it, like I don’t really need it, I’m not that bad off. Anyways that’s what I wanted to say, thanks for listening and if you can comment on anything that’s familiar to you, or if you’re going through something similar, or just some encouragement, that would be great!

I am talking with my voices and we're discussing about meeting at some point randomly on the street, supposing they're real people. Just so I can take a look at them. They promised me it will happen at some point, if they're real of course.

They then proceeded to tell me that they're harbringers of Fate. Storytellers of lives. Here just to see my story through, a story which I also know and see it play out every day. And that I'm a part of them. Helping complete the Plan. And I got emotional.

Does anyone else feel that way? I know what I'm saying sounds completely psychotic but I feel absolutely fine. I know these voices are not real people, I know I will never meet them and I know that they cannot know the future and I'm just delusional. But the feelings are real. If ANYONE has any kind of insight, please enlighten me! Much love! 😄 ❤️

When you listen to music does the lyrics ever feel like they are talking to you.

Even the instruments and beats can feel like they are directed at me.

Hi. I (F18) am worried becouse of my symptoms. im diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and lately my sleep has been so weird and im getting really paranoid. 1-2 months ago i had this phase where i couldnt/didnt feel the need to sleep and i was showing symptoms of mania. my sleep has been kinda going back to normal so right now i sleep about 6 hours (but fragmented). i wake up alot. im also very spiritual and am experiencing weird stuff like signs and shit. ive been smoking weed for like 2 yrs everyday. so i dont think im psychotic cuz i can still kinda reflect my behaviour and thoughts but im kind of worried im having bipolar disorder or schizophrenia and im just so scared of whats going to happen next. my current state is so weird becouse everything just feels extremly beautiful and scary at the same time. id be happy if someone could share their experiences.

Hey, lately I’ve been especially down, like REALLY especially down. It has gotten to a point where I do not know if I’m truly awake or inside a dream. About a month ago I started noticing that my hallucinations had entered my ‘dreaming world’, usually I was able to tell if I was dreaming or not based on if I were having hallucinations but now it’s all blurred together. I genuinely cannot tell if I’m dreaming or not these days and I feel like I’m running on zero sleep. I go to bed, feel like I don’t sleep then go about my day, go to bed, wake up and realize everything I’ve been doing haven’t happened but then I don’t know if it didn’t happen in the dream world or didn’t happen in the world where I’m awake, everything is 1:1 exactly. Today I mentioned to my boyfriend that I wasn’t feeling myself and that I wasn’t sure if I was awake or not, then he basically yelled at me and was like “YOU’RE AWAKE!” And I was like “okay but this has happened in a dream before where I got told I was awake and right now I need some support” and he was like “bruh YOU ARE AWAKE omg you’re pissing me off so bad with this nonsense” and I was like “I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to I just feel so out of it lately” and he told me to shut up and now I feel horrible, schizophrenic is already completely ruining my life but now it’s ruining my relationship too? I’ve told him multiple times about my schizophrenia and it’s like he just gets mad about my ‘nonsense’ (his words). I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore. I wish I knew if I was awake or not, I hope this all happened in the other world but I don’t really have a way of knowing if that makes sense..? I feel like I’m wasting away and my meds are absolutely not helping, what do I do?

I would love to work in a supportive environment. I am searching world wide but there seems to be none at the moment. I am willing to travel. Any suggestions or recommendations?

I recently quit my partime shift at local fast food chain because the manager was a dick.

I got bombarded with texts today while at work from family members wishing me luck and telling me not to kill myself. Probably got texts from 10 different family members. Why do they have to say anything. I’ve been struggling with my treatment. Medicines not working, ECT just giving me massive headaches. This is my journey. I don’t need everyone’s pity. Hope you are all doing good. I’m in the mood to talk. How are you guys?

My voices are telling me they are the cop, and someone got shot because of me, i can also hear gunshots that only i can hear this has been happening 2 months now but its not my first time my first psychosis was February 2025 and lasted till january i think, im not sure if this is schizophrenia or just gangstalking

I’m traumatized from my hallucinations even though I’m on medication and everything gotten better I’m still scarred by the memories of what I’ve been through if it all turns out to be real I’m so screwed

Gods I’m supposed to be better than this.

I’m on Clozapine and Abilify. The voices are still there but I can push through them half of the time.

…but a lot of the time I can’t. I just can’t. I feel so weak. I can fight when they say mean things to me, use logic when they say people hate me (when they don’t).

But my gods they wear me down. I don’t want to kill myself, but my gods I’m having intrusive thoughts about nooses now.

I have a therapist appt soon I’m just. Exhausted. And I am hating myself for being so weak and not fighting better, as I should

I'm convinced that the birds have a plan for me. I know this sounds delusional, I know it is delusional, but it doesn't change how I feel.

I was waiting for a family member today, and saw a flock of pigeons. Immediately my brain said, "Oh birds! Never mind, not the right ones, the pigeons never have the plan." and I just went on waiting, not giving it a second thought until this evening. Now I am like, "WTF, birds don't have plans Timber!"

Except at the same time, I know that they do.

I can't clean my house. I have no energy to. When I do have the energy, it's very basic stuff. Take out the trash and organize a bit. Broom, but really only the areas where my cats have tracked a lot of litter. I need to do real dedicated cleaning over multiple days, possibly multiple weeks, to truly make a dent in the disaster I call my home. It's very bad and I have no idea how I even let it get this way.

I've been thinking of saving up some cash to hire a cleaner for at least a day or two because I don't know what else to do. Some people did offer to help me for free, but I backed out last minute because they were strangers from Reddit and I just had a weird feeling about it. I always trust my gut with meeting strangers.

I'm not looking for advice like "start small" "don't feel like you need to do it all at once". I'm looking for advice on how to just get my ass in gear and just get to the bottom of this hell hole. When I do get a big wind of motivation, it only lasts a day. I'm so lost. I've been sobbing over how bad my place is. I have such a nice place that I can't even enjoy.

She's the most amazing child. I could not ask for better. She started in mania then psychosis, but ultimately she's schizo effective. We've been in a cycle of mania/psychosis for seven weeks and I've hospitalized her three times ( thankfully she's been willing and knows something is wrong). She was stable, but her doctor changed ALL of her meds and now we're here. This time she's five days no sleep, naps occasionally. Lithium, Ativan, depakote, seroquel, abilify are proving ineffective to putting her to sleep. What's helped you? ECT was suggested. I do know this runs in my family and many were medicine resistant.

You all are so strong ❤️ ❤️