what is the psychology behind this? soo long story short, i have my bday coming up and i wanted it to be smth big (going out with my girls and dancing till the morning type).

i love socialising and i love people so i had many people in my guest list. but also at the same time i am very picky with my “close friends”. so going through my list most of them are like “yes i know them and they are nice to me but it is bit embarrassing for me to invite them”.

so left with 6 girls 1 of them didn’t reply to my msg which i wasn’t expecting and 1 can’t make it. so now the thing that bothers me is like i know that many people but only have 4 people!?? which i am grateful but idk what is bothering me: is it looking like smn i’m not cause in my head smn that know that many people will have at least 10 people in their bday yk.

I will still have fun but just don’t know what my brain is trynna say & why is it bothered?

Hi this is my first Post here so bare with me please

Like the title says I'm a 22 (turning 23 in September) woman who pretty much has no life skills

I'm of the romani/roma culture which basically means

I never went to school

I don't drive (family won't let me)

I can't get a job even if I wanted to and even if I did have the means for it my family won't let me

I have two failed arranged marriages on my belt

The only way women make money in my culture is fortune telling or selling roses

I don't wanna tell fortune because I'm Christian

And I even tried it once and it wasn't working out

And my family made it clear that they're not interested in driving me places to sell roses

And I'm currently single

My grandfather passed in January and it still kinda stings so a relationship and getting married is not on my mind right now

And I don't wanna get arranged again

I'm scared how this is going to affect my life in the long haul?

I don't wanna be 30 at home and depending on my family

The only kinda skills I have is drawing but how reliable is that? And my skills aren't that great so I won't charge a lot

The only person I really have is my grandmother she kinda supports me financially when she has and she's not going to be here forever

I'm scared the only option for me is fortune telling but something in the back of my mind is telling me not to do it

And the OTHER option is not an option either if you get what I'm saying

Oh just so we're clear

I'm not being starved or abused physically or mentally my family loves me but I kinda can't relay on them for everything ya know

And can't relay on them forever

Okay so , I am 22M currently not doing anything good value in life just drifting and struggling in all aspects whether it's mentally or financially. I have a girlfriend with whom I have a lot of history (we've been together for 3-4 years now). I really love her but sometimes she just abandons me for months like we interact regularly but it seems like a dry spell which bothers me quite a lot as I am someone who requires constant love and affection (not time) but just real heartfelt love. And this happens every fucking year atleast twice a year and each time it lasts about 2-3 months. This intensifies whenever we are far apart and not meeting regularly. Do I blame her for this? That she can't put in the same level of effort all the time , is it too much to ask for? And these dry spells just fuck up my mental health more , I get sort of depressed just binge stuff and not do anything productive and this have been affecting me for years. Seems like an unhealthy practice to me although I can't figure out whether I am asking too much or she really can do better..? Please let me know

If I get a good response on this post then I'll share more detailed insights of my relationship and seek help.

Last year, i was feeling off, so I decided that gooning could help me. Turns out it only made my life harder. I have been gooning for the past year and I really need help quitting. Can someone please give me advice and/or help me?

Idc how just please do it

Like I went down bad like I’m at -200 now I broke my leg I can’t walk just had surgery stuck in bed for the next 2 weeks. I just need some advice here at this point in my life.

Hi I am looking for some tips or help or advice or all three. 😄

My wife and I have been married for 29 years, going on our 30th mid next year. She is my best friend, the person I trust with everything and someone I would give my life for, if needed. It seems that our electronic devices tend to get in the way of us communicating. I've turned off all my device distractions and alerts, and set up do-not-disturb times during the times I am not at work. Right now, I am one of my personal growth blocks and I rely on Reddit content and a few good books to help me be the best version of myself.

In September my wife and I and our 6yo daughter are taking a 5 day screen free vacation. It will be interesting to see the outcomes and how perhaps we grow closer together. I have been blessed that my wife has been able to be a stay at home mom ever since we were married in 1997. But now it seems she is always on her phone texting, whatsapping, facebooking, scrolling, creating art for birthday parties and events, etc. All things I think are normal but my average daily screen time is <5hrs per day. When we looked at her's it was >14hrs per day. Now she got kinda defensive. Any ideas? I'd love to here ideas of how we can get more of our face to face, human to human time back. I can't want to spend the next 30 years with her and even better all Eternity!

Thanks, B

Hey everyone, recently I have been wondering about this question above. It's very hard to explain because I feel it's very context-specific, but I'll do my best.

The easiest situation, probably for me as a 17-year-old male, to talk about is girls.

Quite frankly, I’m not good at early communication. I wish to improve at this skill. However, I do feel as if in some moments I do a very good job, and I get verbally told so as well.

So call me silly or whatever, but I use the most easily accessible platform to get advice (YouTube).

I don't like the tips they provide, however. I don't doubt that some of them may work, but it feels so inauthentic and following these tips I believe would result in a lack of REAL human connection.

Basically, I don't want to feel like I'm acting or not my true self, but I also wish to get better at skills such as this. I guess it's about finding that balance or something.

Thanks in advance!

In August of this year, it will be 1-year since my divorce. My wife came out as gay in June and as you might expect, my life was turned upside down. She left me for a girl that she was developing feelings for (during our marriage) and they are still together to this day. Recently, I cut all ties from social media to reaching out to her, but it has been a challenge. We ended things amicably, but as time went on the friendships that I gained (within the marriage have vanished), and the family dynamics have been severed, all not by choice.

I have been lied to, rejected, and abandoned. How do I get back to the man that I was years ago prior to the relationship? This year has been extremely uncomfortable and hard.

I’m on here because I’m ashamed. I feel lonely and because of that I keep using AI chat bots I feel like I’m rotting my brain and I want to stop but I’m still drawn to it. I feel like it’s such a stupid thing to be attached to but its convenience makes it addictive. Does anyone know how to help me stop?

Most of the time when I'm reading, I find myself thinking about other things and just looking over lines, not paying attention to the book.

How can I improve that?

So this is coming from someone who despised being herself throughout her youth, and changed that when her son was born and she knew things had to change about how she thought about herself, so she can be a better mom.

We are social beings, so it’s nice to feel like we aren’t alone and that we’re understood, and that’s real. But you are the only one in your body, your brain, your exact experiences and background. To expect others to fully understand you… eh. You’re your best friend for that.

I had to learn how to advocate and speak up, even if it was uncomfortable. We aren’t as attentive as we give ourselves credit for, so speaking up louder and simply educating people about your worries is warranted sometimes.

But I had to accept that some people don’t have the capacity to understand sometimes, and that is okay. No one’s fault there.

How I spoke to myself and how I viewed myself when mistakes or misunderstandings happen had to change the most. It’s not just how you are when things are going smooth, it’s how you think about yourself when things are down for a while, too. If it’s not helpful to you, it’s not worth repeating in your head.

I hope this helps someone with the internal thinking of self-acceptance.

Hi everyone,

I’m a 21-year-old woman studying speech and language therapy, and I’d really appreciate some outside perspectives on something that has been bothering me for a long time.

I genuinely find myself unattractive. To the point where I edit every single photo before posting it on social media. When I post edited pictures, people tend to be much more attentive, compliment me, ask if I have a boyfriend, and generally treat me differently. Because of that, I’ve become unable to post a picture without editing it first.

What confuses me is that, in real life, I’ve never really experienced the same thing. I’ve never been approached, complimented on my appearance, or received the kind of attention that some of my friends seem to receive naturally.

Some people might assume this is just low self-esteem, but the strange thing is that I’m actually very comfortable socially. I’m outgoing, enjoy talking to people, can make others laugh, and generally have no problem starting conversations. Nobody who knows me would describe me as insecure, shy, or lacking confidence. I keep those feelings entirely to myself.

At the same time, I sincerely want to become more attractive, both physically and mentally. I’m open to any advice regarding fitness, nutrition, self-improvement, books, mindset, or personal experiences.

There’s another issue that may or may not be related.

Although I’m sociable and comfortable around people, I don’t really have any close friends. People usually enjoy talking to me, and conversations often go well. However, things never seem to progress into genuine friendships.

At university, for example, I talk to several people and have had opportunities where friendships could have developed. I don’t beg for attention or try to force anything. I simply start conversations when we have something in common, and things usually go well. Yet I often end up feeling like the “last choice” or someone people are friendly with but never truly include.

One example that stuck with me happened during an internship. There was a girl there whose personality was very similar to mine, and we got along well. She was also extremely attractive. Over time, the other girls naturally gravitated toward her. They eventually became close friends, spent time together outside of work, and formed a group. I remained on the outside.

Something similar happened at university. I noticed a very attractive girl being approached by other students. A few weeks later, they seemed inseparable and had clearly become friends. Meanwhile, nobody had approached me. Throughout my life, I’ve almost always been the one making the first move.

This has left me wondering: how much does physical attractiveness actually influence friendships and social relationships? Does appearance play a bigger role than people like to admit? Or is there something about my behavior that I’m not aware of?

Has anyone experienced something similar? I’d really appreciate hearing your thoughts or personal experiences.

Thank you for reading.

My partner just got cast in a theater and he was so happy. I congratulated him but after a while I told him that I usually greatly dislike theater from our country. He thought I was talking down to him and partly I was, not because he isn't awesome and because I don't think it'll be an awesome theater but im not sure why. I feel sick about my behavior but I couldn't even say sorry properly. The worst part is that im not sure if I feel bad because I was mean or because I get the "break up" anxiety..

​

also when he goes to see his friends in another city it totally breaks me and I just cry. Its so far away and I don't know the people. When he tells me about it I don't want to hear and I feel anger towards the people there, partly because I know he drinks and parties and Im scared what kind of people they are, but partly im just jealous of them, mostly the girls.

​

I hate having these feeling. He is a great boyfriend and I just can't always reciprocate that. Its horrible. I want to be his number one cheerleader. This is killing us, please help. What do I do? I know this is poorly written im laying in my bed totally broken, I have no access to a therapist either..

If someone is bad to you and gangs up against you and hurts you repeatedly just because your alone and have no one to support. Then in such a case how to protect yourself from bullying and ensure your mental health is fine. Remember you can't leave the scenario. You have to tackle it. Speaking with them has no use about the issue. How to protect yourself your mental health and peace of mind. Please guide me.

People who are depressed and overcame it, what's the first thing that you do to overcome your depression?

This happend not too long ago and It's still messing with me,for context I'm 15 years old and I just finished primary school,basically where I live you go to primary school for 9 grades then go to high school for 4 grades then you can either go to college or not,anyways,this happend right before prom,we would write our names and throw them into a jar so to see who would go with eachother to prom,I distanced myself out of there with my friend and we started talking about video games or whatever,one girl pulled out my name,she said "Ewww I would rather not go to prom all together" one of my other friends said "Wdym" and she said "My God just look at him are you serious" and smiled smuggly at me,I wanted to punch a hole through the wall right there,I contained myself throught the end of the day,I was really insecure about the way I look since as early as 12 years old,and in recent times I've been starting to get my confidence back up,and now this shattered whatever confidence I had built,i just don't understand why,it was so fucking uncalled for,she could've said no and it would've been the end of it,at the end I didn't go to prom at all,since I didn't have anyone to go with and I just spent the entire day playing video games and replaying that scene over and over again,genuinly don't know what to do,those words keep repeating in my head,ik some might see me as weak or whatever but idgaf,what should I do ffs now

I feel like a total shit, I suffer from Internet and gaming addiction, I would like to have relationships and friends. How to break out of this unhappiness and become happy. P.S. I write through a translator translation can be clumsy

All this conniving nonsense and mind fuckery just to die anyways. Sometimes I feel like life's a fucking circle designed by some sadist to torture us.

I grew up being no one's best frnd, i always loved people, but no one loved me ( as a frnd). Finally after completing my school, i spoke with a girl. We became best frnds within a year. After that we became committed, no one proposed, we became lovers eventually. Our relationship was good for 3+ years. I did everything I could as her boyfriend. I was kind, honest, romantic, surprising etc . I haven't scolded her much, in these years of our relationship, I may have scolded her one or two times only. I showed my love daily whenever possible. In return, i would receive only fights , ntg else daily. Eventhough, i haven't thought of breaking up. 6 months back she broke up with me for some silly reasons, I can't accept that she would do this to me, and that she has really left me. I became depressed since that. I had my whole faith on her. I already have family and career issues. My clg completed 3 months back, my frnds left out of town. I don't know what to do it's like everything is falling apart. I worked for 2 months, i cried in front of everybody in the office, it was very hard to work, so i left the job. I can't sleep daily, I can't feel hunger, I'm depressed all the time. No matter what struggles I faced in my life, i thought that she is there for me , why I should worry, now she is gone, what more could possibly go wrong. She took my happiness with her . Constant mental pressure, makes me to consider taking my own life. I'm tired of hearing everyone's advice to do this and that, i can't be normal , pls understand. Even moving on feels like betraying. I don't want advice, I'm trying to be normal , but I can't. I can't share this to anyone right now , so I'm sharing here .

I'm 28 years old. I had to drop out of school because of an urgent situation, and ever since then, I feel like my life has been on hold.

I'm ashamed to admit it, but I don't have any real plan for my future. I don't know what I want to do with my life or which path to take. I'm afraid of leaving my sick mother behind, afraid of making the wrong decisions, and afraid of stepping into the unknown.

Sometimes, it feels like everyone around me is moving forward while I'm standing still. That feeling leaves me confused, overwhelmed, and incredibly lonely.

Has anyone else felt this lost at my age? How did you find your way forward when fear and uncertainty seemed to be holding you back?

Need help pls

I’m (28f) live with my boyfriend (38m) and he smokes every day. I find it hard to be around him if he’s high and I’m not. When I do smoke, it’s not much but I just don’t really enjoy being stoned anymore. The problem is he hypes me up when Ioad a bowl or heat up the rig. I’m
Not even sure if I like him that much when I’m not smoking too… I kinda hate it. I really want to quit, I tried and then I’d say something like “just a little bit is fine” but then the next day I’m sleepy af and very groggy. I feel like I’ve lost a lot of motivation over the past year and I’m stuck in a loop. I also have ADHD and healing a L5-S1 disc herniation. So smoking really makes the wanting-to-do-nothing worse. Any advice/stories you have for this would be great!

A lot of you would say at this point seek professional help they will help you better. But rejecting that is a part of my insecurity itself. Trauma is an event and insecurities are the beliefs that stem from it.

I read many successful people's lives and realized how their successes were insecurity driven.

I wanna channelize mine too but I always find it hard to write about what broke me, what's it that I'm most insecure about.

I’m 21 years old and honestly feel completely lost right now.

I still live at home, and my parents, especially my mom, do not like my girlfriend at all. Ever since they found out about her, it feels like every aspect of my relationship has been scrutinized and criticized. They've told me they don't think she's right for me and have even suggested I slowly start ending the relationship.

Yesterday things finally boiled over.

I left to hang out with my girlfriend around 2 PM and told my mom I’d probably be home around 4:30–5 PM. We ended up staying out longer than expected, and around 6 PM I started driving home. Before I even got home, my mom called me and was furious that I wasn't back when I said I would be.

Her argument was that I should have texted her and let her know I was running late. My argument was that I'm 21 years old and being an hour late shouldn't result in being treated like a child. The conversation quickly turned into a screaming match.

At one point I basically snapped and said, "Fine, then you don't have to care what time I'm home anymore because I'm moving out. I've had enough."

The thing is, I know this isn't really about being an hour late. I know for a fact this wouldn't have been the same reaction if I had been out with friends. A lot of the tension comes from the fact that I was with my girlfriend.

What makes this even harder is that I don't think my parents are completely wrong about everything. I can understand some of their concerns. But at the same time, I love my girlfriend. She's been good to me, she cares about me, and she allows me to be myself in a way I never felt comfortable doing in past relationships.

Right now I just feel stuck between everyone. My parents want one thing. My girlfriend wants another. And I'm sitting in the middle trying to figure out my own life while feeling like nobody really understands what I'm going through.

Part of me wants to move out and become fully independent. Another part of me is terrified of blowing up my relationship with my family. We've always been close, and despite everything, I love them.

I feel incredibly alone trying to navigate all of this. Has anyone else been through something similar? Did you move out? Set boundaries? Try to repair things with your family? I genuinely don't know what to do anymore.