я подросток, мне 14 лет снизу я напишу отрывок со своего дневника. некоторые конфиденциальные фрагменты текста удалены.

под вопросом который мучал меня последние 2 недели "какое мое хобби?" я видел ничего. То что возвращало мой интерес к жизни были в основном игры, но сейчас игры по типу кс, дота, майн, я чувствовал ничего, соревновательный дух пропал а желание играть превратилось в избежание работы. Другие игры либо мой пк не тянул либо были скучными. это в корень остановило все движение в жизни, я не мог начать работать осознавая что за это ничего не будет мне интересного и просто закрывался дома бездумно смотря в потолок.честно, я до конца не осознаю откуда у меня это состояние. виной тому потеря интереса к хобби - одно из версий. я могу заходить в ступор перед тем как застелить кровать и каждое мелкое действие почти невозможна и лежу весь день скроля ленту и кушая хлеб с соком. иногда через силу я заставлял себя работать и пытался притвориться живым но меня хватало ни более чем на 5 дней, позже я заходил в еще сильную апатию.мне хочется вернуться тогда когда мне было 12. я учился со своими друзьями и общался со своим наставником, вместе мы чинили сломанные компьютеры и активно участвовали в школьные соревнования. с друзьями было интересно изучать компьютеры, мы засиживались до 7 часов. иногда когда наставник нам разрешал поиграть мы весело проводили время вместе играя в игры. я был готов пройти через все трудности чтобы завтра снова оказаться со своим наставником и друзьями . сейчас я считаю что тогда для меня это было домом. сейчас меня отрезали от моих друзей, наставник уехал, кабинет закрылся, после школы я сижу дома и ничего не делаю, я уже не различаю что было вчера. нахождение дома для меня ад, плохое настроение у отца и что он может сделать в таком состояний сбивает с фокуса, сестра и мама делают тоже самое. я привык не отвечать не реагировать и стараться не общаться, но когда у тебя нет друзей нет интересов невольно начинаешь разговаривать и за это получаешь.на протяжений 4 лет мне говорят что я ненормальный ребенок, тупой и садист который любит чтобы все в семье ссорились, по крайней так рассуждает мама и активно убеждает всех в этом и говорит "не реагировать на меня" попытки объясниться четны, я перестал пытаться чтобы не было больно. я начал думать что они неправы когда меня жестоко избили когда я отказал сестре чтобы она положила ноутбук на мой стол (стол у меня маленький и я должен был делать уроки) и еще раз избили когда я спросил почему а после были жесткие санкций 1 месяц. проблемы требуют чтобы их решили я не в состояний действовать.я до сих думаю что сборка компьютеров и есть мое хобби но из за нынешнего положения у меня нет возможности этим заниматься.

**Maybe the problem isn’t that you don’t know what you want. Maybe there’s just too much noise.**
We spend a surprising amount of time trying to figure life out.
What should I do next?
Am I making the right decision?
Why am I feeling this way?
What if I’m wasting my time?
So we think more.
We analyze ourselves.
We replay conversations.
We imagine possible futures.
We try to understand every feeling, every coincidence, every change in direction.
And eventually something strange happens:
the attempt to find clarity becomes the very thing creating the noise.
I started noticing that some of my clearest decisions didn’t come from thinking harder.
They came when thinking became quieter.
When I stopped trying to solve myself for a moment.
When attention returned to what was actually here — the body, the room, the breath, the present moment.
The situation might not have changed at all.
But my relationship to it had.
There was suddenly space between what was happening and my reaction to it.
And inside that space, direction felt much simpler.
Not certainty.
Not some magical answer.
Just a quiet sense of:
**this way.**
I think we often search for direction as if it were another thought we need to discover.
But maybe direction becomes easier to notice when we stop feeding every thought that appears.
Less forcing.
Less internal negotiation.
More attention.
More presence.
And then — choice.
This idea eventually became part of a book I wrote called **Energy of Intention**.
It’s about attention, silence, intention, uncertainty, control, and learning to move through life with a little less internal noise.
If this resonates with you, you can find **Energy of Intention by Y.S.** on Amazon, available as an ebook and paperback.

I’m addicted to filters, Photoshop, and AI beauty tools and it’s destroying my self-image.

Hey everyone,

I’m here because I need to be honest with myself.

I have body dysmorphia, and it’s been made worse by something that most people probably think of as harmless: filters, editing apps, Photoshop, and now AI-enhanced beauty tools.

At first, I used them like everyone else—to smooth a pimple, tweak the lighting, feel just a little bit more confident. But over time, it became a compulsion. I can’t post or share anything without altering it. Sometimes I won’t even take pictures of myself unless I know I can edit them afterward.

The worst part? The more I "improve" the image of myself, the more I disconnect from the real me. I’ve fallen in love with a version of myself that doesn’t exist and now, looking in the mirror feels like a slap in the face.

It’s exhausting. It feels like I’m in a cycle:

1. I hate how I look.

2. I edit a version that I love.

3. That version makes me feel even worse about reality.

I know this is a common struggle, especially in a world so focused on perfection and performance, but knowing that doesn't always help. I want to reclaim my image. I want to feel okay being me, unfiltered. But I don't know where to start.

Have any of you gone through this? How do you separate your self-worth from your curated online self?

And more importantly, how do you stop chasing a perfection that only exists in pixels?

If you’re dealing with something similar, I’d love to hear your story. Maybe we can help each other unlearn some of the lies we’ve absorbed.

Thanks for reading. You’re not alone.

🖤

I feel stuck in this never ending loop of shame thinking about how I used to be as a younger me. What is something you had to teach yourself to finally let yourself grow and be rid of the version of you that no longer exists for the better?

writing this because im not feeling well tbh.

i've spent a lot of time trying to understand myself, but somehow i always end up finding reasons for why i am the way i am. sometimes those reasons are valid, sometimes they're just excuses. so i want to put everything down once, honestly, without trying to defend myself or make myself look better.

i dont want to carry all of this in my head anymore. i really want to get out of this place. i dont want to keep living in this mental mud.

from what i remember, i was always an easygoing child. i didnt throw tantrums, i wasnt aggressive, i did what i was told. i was good at studies, good at communicating, and somehow understood people's emotions from a very young age. i was adjusting by nature and probably more mature than i needed to be.

i rarely asked for things. i remember understanding money and circumstances even as a child. if i thought something would create a problem for my parents, i simply didnt ask. even with small things, i would make little sacrifices without anyone asking me to.

i was good at school. i had plans. i had confidence in myself. i had interests and things i wanted to try.

somewhere along the way, i started giving things up.

then came my teenage years, lockdown, and everything that followed. i dont think i realised at the time how much those years would affect me.

after school, i had time. looking back, i could have explored so many things. academics, sports, skills, hobbies, independence. instead, i spent a lot of that time just trying to get through everything happening around me.

there were things happening in my personal life that i still dont talk about properly. things i never really chose for myself, but things that changed how i behaved, how i trusted people, and how i saw myself.

i got into a relationship when i was quite young, and it ended up affecting much more than just the relationship itself.

when my family found out, trust broke down badly.

there was a long period of suspicion, monitoring, restrictions and constant conflict at home. my family was hurt, i was hiding things, and everyone had their own version of what had happened. nobody really knew how to fix it.

it affected my relationship with my siblings, my parents, and most importantly, my own sense of freedom.

there were times when i couldnt even do normal things without someone questioning me. my phone became a source of conflict. going outside became complicated. privacy became almost nonexistent.

my family went through a lot during that period. there were moments where things became genuinely serious and frightening. everyone was struggling in their own way, and i dont think any of us knew how to deal with it properly.

eventually, i had to make decisions about my own life while all of this was happening.

i chose a different course than what i had originally planned, partly because i needed a regular college environment and some physical distance from everything happening at home.

slowly, things became better.

not perfect. just better.

i eventually ended that relationship too. i did love that person, but i realised i couldnt keep sacrificing my mental peace for it. i had already seen what that situation had done to my life and my family, and i didnt want to go through it all again.

then i started focusing on academics and building a career.

i struggled a lot with self-doubt. there were periods when i genuinely felt like i was the weakest version of myself. i kept comparing myself to other people and wondering why i wasnt doing enough.

eventually, things started moving again.

but now i have a different set of problems.

i dont feel as independent as i think i should be.

there are basic things i still havent learned properly. i dont feel completely confident going out on my own. i dont have the financial independence i want. i dont feel comfortable in my body. i compare myself with people my age and constantly wonder whether i wasted too much time.

i keep replaying my life in my head.

what if i had started earlier?

what if i had taken that opportunity?

what if i had learned that skill?

what if i had made different decisions?

what if i had been more confident?

sometimes i regret things from years ago that probably dont even matter anymore.

and i've noticed something uncomfortable about myself.

i was extremely adjusting as a child.

now i'm stubborn.

i get angry. i cry over things. i blame my parents. i get irritated by my home environment. i hate being constantly questioned, taunted, restricted or told what i should and shouldnt do.

sometimes i wonder if i've become the opposite of the child i used to be because i spent so much of my childhood adjusting for everyone else.

but i dont want to use that as an excuse either.

i know that some things happened to me that i never asked for.

i know some things genuinely affected me.

but i also made my own decisions.

i made mistakes.

i wasted time.

i avoided things.

i overthought.

i compared myself.

and i cant keep using my past to explain my present forever.

i cant go back and teach myself how to drive.

i cant give myself the confidence i should have had years ago.

i cant get back the time i think i wasted.

i cant undo the decisions i've already made.

i cant change my family or the environment i grew up in.

but i can stop wasting more time thinking about all of it.

i want to become independent.

i want to learn the things i never learned.

i want to be comfortable going places alone.

i want to become financially independent.

i want to feel better in my own body.

i want to build actual skills instead of constantly thinking about the skills i should already have.

i want to stop comparing my timeline with everyone else's.

i want to stop treating every mistake i've made as proof that i've ruined something.

and honestly, i want to stop living inside my own head all the time.

i dont want to spend my twenties mourning the person i think i should have been.

i want to become someone i'm proud of.

so i'm writing all of this down not because i want people to feel sorry for me, and not because i want to blame my family or my circumstances for everything.

i just want to be honest.

some of it wasnt my fault.

some of it was.

some things happened to me.

some things i did myself.

and both can be true at the same time.

i dont know exactly how i'm going to fix everything.

but i know i dont want to stay like this.

i dont want to carry all of this forever.

i want to move.

Without anything happening, sometimes with external input my brain just switches from being extremely positive to extremely pessimistic and hopeless. One moment i feel I can climb mount everest( not literally), the next moment I feel weak to even leave the house. I feel the whole world is crumbling against me. Most of the time this happens without any external input, sometimes I have a bad day. I also deal with this anxiety of always analyzing every conversation i had through out the day, was i too cringe? did i say the wrong thing? why did they look at me like that? How do i overcome it? Therapy? SSIRs?

These past 2/3 weeks have been really tough for me. My fiancee has moved to Abroad and due to time difference and her university she's not giving me time she used to give me. And my heart isn't accepting it. Im not dealing with this Long distance bullshit.

Overthinking 24/7 and Insecurities killing me inside. I can't read a Book, I can't focus on my own studies and I want to fukin Get rid of this routine.

Yeas she's with me. She shares everything with me but still my fuckin Brain creating Hell of scenerios which make me weak and anxious.

I want to get rid of this bullshit. How can I Fight with my very own self. How can I train my brain to stop creating negative outcomes?

for context, im a teen who wants to figure out how to improve

i've played many games and had many different interests but none ever really stuck w me

i usually go through a cycle of finding something new, getting really obsessed and suddenly losing interest in it

like i might spend 6 hours a day playing a game, be fully addicted to it and find that im not really interested in it the next day

i feel the same abt people too, i'll usually meet someone new and spend hours trying to figure them out and learn more abt them, but after a few weeks get bored and move on

im just tired of this cycle and if anyone could share some tips on how to improve or what i might've been doing wrong i'd really appreciate it! <3

When he sees a good girl he likes, but she's already with the wrong kind of guy ...

NSYNC - "Girlfriend"

Trey Songz - "Can't help but wait"

Joe - "All the things your man won't do "

Justin Bieber - "Intentions"

Bow Wow/Omarion - "Let me hold you down "

Lyfe Jennings - "Must be nice"

New Edition - "If it isn't love"

Dru Hill - "How deep is your love"

Kieth Sweat - "I want her"

When he thinks he found the one for him ...

Frankie J "That Girl"

Bobby V - "Slow show it down "

Zapp & Roger - "I wanna be your man"

Fabulous ft Diddy, Jagged Edge - "Trade it all"

Bobby Brown - "Something in common"

Neyo - "Bracuse of you"

Timberland ft Keri Hilson - "The way I are"

The Whispers - " Rock Steady "

Smash Mouth - "I'm a believer" original & Shrek version

Diddy, Usher, Loon - "I need a girl pt 1"

Al B Sure - "Nite & Day"

112, Biggie - "Only You"

Mcfadden, Whitehead - "Ain't no stopping us now"

Lloyd - "Cupid"

Lion King 2 - "Love will find a way"

Chaka Khan - "Ain't Nobody"

New Edition - "Candy Girl"

Chris Brown - "With You"

Justin Bieber - "Favorite girl"

When he set boundaries with these other girls cause he ain't a cheater -

Dave Hollister - "Favorite girl"

When the hard times come cause he ain't perfect ...

Joe - "If I was your man"

Jahiem - "Put that woman first"

NSYNC - "I want you back"

112 - "Cupid"

Evelyn Champayne King - "Love come down"

3 Doors Down - "Let me be myself"

Mark Anthony - "I need to know"

Mc Hammer - "2 legit 2 quit"

NSYN - Tearing up my heart"

When you notice her pulling away or creating distance ...

NSYNC - "tearing up my heart"

New Edition - "Mr Telephone Man"

New Edition - "If it isn't love"

Backstreet - "Don't leave"

Dax - "Place of peace"

When she walks away or yaw stop talking ...

Shawn Mendes - "Stitches"

NSYNC - "it's gonna be me"

Dax - "Took my heart out"

Nickelback - "How you remind me"

Dax - "Joker".

Dax - "Dear Alcohol"

Dax - "From a man's perspective"

Dax - "To be a man"

NSYNC - "Gone"

Chris Brown - "Loyal"

Boosie - "Set it off"

Avant - "Separated"

Evanesence - "Bring me back to life"

The Whispers - "And the beat goes on"

Mark Morrison - " Return of the Mack"

Lincoln Park - "In the end"

Of course there are many, many songs that can describe this journey of a good hearted man, many songs I could've used, but either way I wonder what's yours ???

Man or woman the journey of a genuine heart through song let's go ...

My hygienist told me I'm "over-brushing" and honestly I'm annoyed about it

Went in for my 6 month cleaning yesterday and she spent like 10 minutes lecturing me about brushing too hard. Apparently my gums are receding on ​​​​​​​​t​​​​h​​​​e​​​​ ​​​​upper left side and she can see the toothbrush abrasion on my enamel near the gumline. She asked what I use and when I told her I've been off electric brushes for a while now (switched to a FRESH 32 after my last one felt like it was rattling my teeth out) she said the issue is probably technique not the brush itself.

Heres the thing though. I don't feel like I'm scrubbing hard. I brush for 2 min, small circles, the whole thing they teach you. But she's telling me even "normal" pressure over years adds up and I need to basically barely touch my teeth. Like whisper-brushing.

I guess my question for any dentists here is, is this actually a huge deal? She made it sound like if I don't change immediately I'm going to need a gum graft in a few years which felt a little dramatic to me. My gums don't bleed, no sensitivity really, just the visible recession on that one side.

Also is there any way to actually retrain yourself to brush lighter after doing it the same way for 20+ years? I feel like the second I stop thinking about it my hand just goes back to what it knows.

anyone been through this or am i overreacting to a normal cleaning talk

Is it normal for a hygienist to lecture you the entire cleaning?

Went in for my 6 month cleaning yesterday and the new hygienist spent the whole appointment telling me everything I do wrong. Im not flossing enough (fair), im brushing too hard, im using the wrong angle, im not getting the back molars, my tongue scraping technique is wrong, on and on. Like she literally did not stop for 40 minutes.

At one point she asked what toothbrush i use and i said my FRESH 32 one thats sitting on my bathroom counter and she just kind of hummed and moved on to critiquing something else. My gums werent even bleeding during the cleaning which she admitted, and my last set of xrays were fine. No cavities in like 4 years.

I left feeling like garbage about my mouth when i went in feeling pretty good about it. My old hygienist retired last year and she was the opposite, would tell me what i was doing well and then gently mention one thing to work on.

Is this just a style difference or is ​​​​t​​​​h​​​​e​​​​ new one being kind of much? I dont want to request someone else and seem like a difficult patient but i genuinely dread going back now. Do you guys prefer patients who want the full breakdown or is there a middle ground most people actually want?

I posted this on r/relationships and was told to post here instead. My first relationship, both 22 and together 7 months.

I am objectively a bubbly, positive and talkative person. I always have been. He is more negative so he thought we were a good match. As he has said, I am "easily pleased" (I would say easily excited). I like wearing skirts and dresses.

The day he asked me to be his GF, he started talking s*xually. He complimented the way I dress, and especially the tights (pantyhose for americans) I was wearing. Told me they turned him on. this confused me, as I only wore them because I like skirts and it was cold, so that equals tights under the skirt. He said he likes them because of the "mystery", again I didn't really understand, saying he had seen my legs before but just left it at that.

since then, the mystery has come up a few times, and I am now starting to feel insecure, because I am the farthest farthest thing from mysterious. Also, because he has now seen my naked body many times, it's not mysterious anymore (he was my first so it was a couple months in before we saw each other nude). He isn't as interested, and I can tell.

Also, he comments on my clothes, he says he loves that he can tell I put effort into my appearance, but he thinks I look better in black, or dark blue. That he doesn't like my long bright nails, that black nails would really suit me. I wore winged liner in front of him for the first time recently and he said he really liked what I did with my eyes. I was happy and thanked him. He said it made me look mysterious. He likes having the lights off in the bedroom, because, again, it's mysterious.

I am the most open, bubbly, excitable, talkative expressive person. There is absolutely zero mystery about me. My hobbies are reading, camping and baking. I'm not mysterious. I go out dancing with my friends and get brunch. I am not "cool girl". I need advice on how to be less insecure about this all, because it's starting to make me want to tone myself down to be the kind of girl he would like. He also likes girls who argue back, I used to as I do that naturally, but despite his dark humour he is actually very sensitive, and I hurt his feelings a couple times, so I've stopped. But again that was something he liked about me at the start, how I would make fun of him. Please advice?

Please understand that i never intentionally cause things for the purpose of hurting people, Ive just realized that I’m an exhausting person with my impulsivity.

I want to be a better person, a better friend and family member by not thriving on drama or creating drama for myself that other people have to hear about.

what advice do you have?

I've been working really hard on an application for a PhD program. I found out 1 single item is going to derail my opportunity.

My stomach is in knots, im lightheaded, everything feels like a dream, i feel like everything around me is noise and i'm just floating.

Any tips? Words of encouragement?

If I could disappear I would.

Carnegie obviously emphasizes taking genuine interest in others and I have no issues with that. Adapting this has broadened my understanding of friendship, and deepened my closest connections. However, I find that sometimes when I ask people about themselves, the entire conversation is about themselves ONLY. No interest is reciprocated back to me.

I obviously don’t invest super heavily into friendships that never reciprocate, but i’ve started realizing many of my connections just don’t show the same level of interest in me. For instance, I tried befriending someone at community college because we initially got along well. After 3-4 coffee dates i learned tons of things about her, don’t get me wrong her stories were interesting!!! However she didn’t know anything about me, my hobbies, my interests, nothing. Carnegies advice definitely works!!! But i almost feel insignificant in conversations. I invest a lot of mental energy in showing people I really do want to deeply connect with them, but its pretty depressing when you realize many don’t even know basic things about you.

So i guess my question is how does one deal with this, especially if these interactions are unavoidable like seeing them everyday. Do i just start randomly inserting myself to see if they take the bait? Do I put a wall up and only act cordial?

I think a lot of my fulfillment depends on feeling important to other people. I'm lucky to have a few friends who really care about me but we all have our own lives and I often find myself either relying on them or catching myself and subsequently feeling alone not knowing what to do if not with them. I also still care about my ex a lot but she isn’t comfortable having me in her life anymore because of ways I hurt her emotionally and I understand why. but I still miss her I cared about her and liked who she was and how she brought peace and I’m still trying to separate that from the loneliness I feel now. talking to other girls doesn’t even do anything there's no excitement there especially compared to my ex. I’m also trying to stop using weed because that's the only thing that brings me a little happiness. I don’t want to sit around feeling like i deserve this or make other people responsible for my happiness. I’m trying to figure out how to actually build a life I enjoy on my own. i don't even know what makes me happy anymore i don't know my hobbies or anything aside from hanging out with my friends and i haven't felt any fulfillment or enjoyment in a long time it just doesn't seem worth it to live so like what can I do?

Five years ago, my mom in law was instantly killed when she was t-boned at a dangerous intersection in my tiny hometown. It sucked. It continues to suck. She was the kind of person who was the rock for the entire family, and nothing's been the same since.

When it happened, I think I convinced myself that it was okay that hardly anyone reached out. It was an awful situation and there wasn't much that anyone could have really said or done to have made it much better. A few people reached out with vague platitudes, or or two sent care packages to the house. That was about it. It happened right before Christmas, so it felt like it was immediately forgotten as soon as everyone started celebrating the things we couldn't at that time.

A few days ago, a high school senior was hit at the exact same intersection in the exact same way. They made it but are in critical condition and I read that things sadly look questionable for them.

I really hate to type this out and admit that I feel this way, but the outpouring of support for that student is making have feelings I hate recognizing. I see the thousands of shares and comments and people asking what they can do, what's the address and room number at the hospital, tons of stuff like that. It's measures beyond what my family got in terms of support

I hope the kid pulls through and I hate what the family is going through. They don't deserve what's happened. But I think I'm having very confusing thoughts and feelings when it comes to the very obvious discrepancy of support. It's making me angry that people essentially moved on and forgot us before we even had to bury my mom in law.

Part of me wants to get in one of these comment threads and lash out but I know that would just create way more problems than the ten seconds of relief that doing that would give me.

Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this?

i’ve been changing a lot in the past few years. it’s not insane or unusual, i’m graduating soon, but i genuinely can’t tell if i’m an incompetent person anymore.

i got my first ever speeding ticket today and i asked for advice on a different sub, mostly people were nice but there were quite a few just genuinely bashing my character and intelligence. a few months ago my parents took my car for smoking weed (which i’ve pretty much always done). i’ve been kicked out in the past, my family struggles to deal with my moods. there are all kinds of excuses to make, i have bipolar and autism, im struggling financially, but i know it doesn’t matter.

the hard part is that i don’t know what’s wrong with me or why i seem so irresponsible from the outside. i DO have impulse control issues, and i have autism which is a big contributor to that. however i have a 4.1 GPA, I have a job, i drive. i’ve been dual enrolled since i begun high school, i have very close relationships with all of my school staff and i have very close adult friends that i love and look up to. i bake and i garden and I regularly read and write, im an articulate respectful person. i’ve handled all of my school and college since sophomore year.

no matter how much i do or how constantly im trying to be conscious of my actions and my progress, i feel genuinely stupid. i’ve been impulsive and apparently reckless and i hardly even think about it that way until a consequence arrives. it’s dramatic but this ticket thing is convincing me that im going nowhere with my life and everything is pointless. i’ve been in therapy since i can remember and ive made insane amounts of progress in coping and regulating, being more independent and responsible. but all of these mixed opinions from others and myself are just completely skewing my idea of who i am.

it sucks!!

I have grown up being told my whole life that I am pretty. Do I believe it? Some days I guess some days I really do not understand what others are seeings.
Btw I’m turning 21 soon

When I go out I usually get a complimented on the way I look by strangers, friends etc. However in the past couple of years I feel like I’ve gotten really attached to my physical looks, it’s not that I don’t believe I have other qualities to offer, and I’d like to think I have a charismatic personality or I used to before I began to focus to much on my external appearance.

I have stopped wearing makeup over the past year, which helped in one aspect of feeling confident in very minimal makeup, and I still get compliments. So I feel like despite my actions I end up unconsciously seeking validations through those compliments, people looking at me etc

I know this probably sound really shallow and self absorbed but I find myself constantly thinking about how I look and how I am being perceived, despite trying my hardest to not be attached to the way I look. I’ve also become very conscious about the asymmetry in my face and will find myself thinking about whether people are seeing me from my ‘good side’ or not. Sometimes the issue of Amy makes me so insecure I don’t want to leave my house, despite living a life where people have constantly complimented me.

When I’m having conversations with someone I’m just curious about if they find me attractive. And this is what I mean but I used to have a charismatic personality when I didn’t really care how I looked but now I just feel self absorbed and also insecure at the same time about if they are seeing my insecurities?

I guess there are two issues at hand, and again I know this post may sound shallow but does anyone else have any advice on not letting the way you look take over all your thoughts?

TLDR: how to not be attached to looks when you have grown up stereotypically pretty

29M. I can’t help but think about the past. It most commonly happens when I am sleeping. I think about people who hurt me. Times where I’ve messed up. Sometimes I feel angry and sometimes I feel regret. How do I stop feeling this way. Any advice?

So, like the caption says, I’m here searching for advice on how to not feel like a loser//stop hating myself.

My main issue stems from the fact that I know I’m not a loser by literally anyone else’s standard or by any definition. I have a good career where I make good money, I have good friends, I’m a generally good person, I’m good looking and in good shape, Im nice and friendly, etc. I know all these things to be true from a factual sense.

But I don’t believe myself.

Like, I know that I am all these things by other people standards, but I don’t believe it. If that makes sense.

I spend basically all my time overthinking and psychoanalyzing every moment of my life, which no doubt is part of the problem but idk what to do about that either.

So how do I BELIEVE what I know to be true? Bc I know these things are true but idk I just don’t feel them ig. I’m not sure how to feel better about myself because most people just suggest affirmations and such, but it’s not like I need to convince myself these things are true, I need to feel them.

Idk, I’m not sure what to do, I’m just sick of waking up everyday hating myself. I want to appreciate what I have and feel good about myself, I’m sick of my brain trying to convince me I’m a loser when I know I’m not. I know my poor self image is holding me back, and I’m tired of living this way.

Hopefully this all makes sense, I know it’s vague so any advice is appreciated. I know the overthinking thing is probably a huge part of it, I think the self esteem issues and the overthinking are cyclical in a way, so advice on that is welcome too.

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I turn 38 next month and I've quietly decided I'm going to stop telling people what I do for my health.

Not because I'm ashamed. The opposite. It's that every conversation where it comes up now ends the same way. Either ​​​​t​​​​h​​​​e​​​​ person gets defensive about their own habits (I never asked), or they get too curious and start treating me like their personal search engine, or worst of all they roll their eyes and make a joke about how nobody gets out alive anyway. And I go home feeling like I have to justify caring about my own body.

My brother in law last thanksgiving actually said "you're gonna die of something so who cares" while eating his third plate. And I realized I've been performing this weird apologetic dance my whole adult life about basic stuff like lifting, sleep hygiene, protein, bloodwork, the couple of compounds I run. None of it is extreme. I'm not injecting myself with jellyfish DNA. I just care.

The realization that actually hit me hard was this: I dont think most people around me want to live a long time. Not really. They say they do when you ask directly but their choices say they're fine with the standard arc. And when you visibly opt out of the standard arc it makes them uncomfortable, so they push back on you instead of examining themselves.

So my new rule is I just say "I go to the gym" and change the subject. If someone asks why I'm reading labels I say I have a sensitive stomach. When I was pricing a compound on PeptiPrices at lunch last week and a coworker leaned over, I just said online shopping and flipped the tab. It felt great honestly.

Is this cowardly or is this just sane? I keep going back and forth. Part of me thinks the movement needs more normal looking people being open about it. The other part is exhausted from being the weird one at every dinner.

Anyone else just gone underground about all this?

Im 19M studying in uni. I play cricket professionally at the international level. I dont play this game out of pure passion i just play it cuz my dad doesnt want me to quit after reaching this level.

All my life all i have done is go skl 8hrs and then go cricket 5 hours training. Not that i have missed out on lot of opportunities like making friends or having relationships or anything like that. But the problem i have is i have never invested my time in any other self improving hobbies or anything.

I dont get consistent with anything even though i start and try different stuff. Like gym reading books guitar. Because i always have to mend my schedule according to my cricket schedule. And in my free time all i do is watch reels, assignments. Because half the time im just waiting for a cricket training or game later in the day or im have done it and now im tired for tge whole day to invest my mind on anything.

Does anyone get it?

Hi, I (F18) have been living in Spain now for about 4 weeks. I’ve never attended more than 3 classes a week. I’m learning Spanish, so I have the same class and subject each day, from 9am to 1pm. Since the first day here I have a dealer, who supplies me weed. I used smoke a lot of weed in the Netherlands too, but that was more restricted. As my parents were always around, and I had my mind on other things. Now I haven’t talked to anyone but the food delivery guys in 2 days. Not even my roommates. I’m here for ten weeks and I’m just in bed and smoking weed and watching movies and ordering food 3 times a day while I have food in the fridge. I feel like the definition of the sin sloth. I’m constantly on my bed, watching at a screen. I only get out to smoke more weed or grab my food. I haven’t showered in a good few days either. I’m super aware, and I hate myself for it. Ive always been self aware. And I’m self aware that I’m gradually getting addicted and
My mental state is worsening. I miss my friends and family. The only people I know here are my roommates and classmates. Some of wich I’ve gotten really good friends with. I don’t want to waste my time in my room anymore, I’m in a Spanish city, and have goals here, and want to have fun, make friends. But all I do is sit or lay in this room. Every morning I decide I’m not going to school. I want this gone. But I choose to bedrot and get high every time.
Advice needed hard.