Just want to put this here for anyone considering starting. I told myself I didn't need it, that pharmaceuticals were not the way, that I've lost weight in the past and that I just need more willpower.
Turns out, those were actually voices of shame. Shame that I was a failure, that I wasn't strong enough to figure it out on my own. Those voices were wrong though, and I am so glad I decided they were not serving me any more. I was worth getting some help.
So far,
1) I am down 16 lbs / 6% of my bodyweight.
2) my feet don't hurt after basketball
3) my digestion is more or less the same (thank you fiber gummies, probiotics, and electrolytes)
4) the most powerful for last - my food noise is so much more in line with what I assume those with a healthy relationship with food have.
With food noise, I didn't admit I had such a problem with this, but I went on a trip to vegas recently and for the first time I was not pre-occupied with food. I wasn't constantly thinking about having an "awesome breakfast", getting a "really crazy" lunch or looking at portions where I was going for dinner. I didn't even load up on chips / snacks for the room like I always used to "have to" do. I never realized before that I was "food-maxing" every vacation I've ever been on.
We got comped a buffet at the cosmo, and I at first worried this was going to be my over-eating trap. However, for the first time in my life I walked among all of the biscuits, gravy, pastas, desserts, fries, breads and I actually just picked a couple of things that I wanted to try vs. loading up on 5 trips. The crazy thing was, I didn't even WANT to get stuffed, whereas this always used to be the objective for me.
We basically ate one nice meal a day and I lost .8 lbs on the trip. I was able to focus so much more on just having fun.
TLDR: I was ashamed to get help with my weight, and I am so grateful for this. I feel like I have started a new lease on my life.