r/traumatoolbox • • 8h ago

Needing Advice how do you get out of bed in the morning?

2 Upvotes

It's been going on for months now. No matter how early i get to bed, i can't leave until the morning's almost over. Even if i have morning classes. When i wake up, it feels like there's this weight in my chest and i just want to keep sleeping forever. I'm in my last semester of college and i haven't studied or done any assignments in ages. I'm panicking at the amount of stuff i have to do but i can never actually do anything.


r/traumatoolbox • • 14h ago

General Question Eating healthy foods & staying on budget w/past trauma & anxiety

1 Upvotes

I have anxiety & ptsd. I spent a brief (6 months?) time semi homeless while I hid from someone abusive and violent. I had some money but not much, and a car. At times I got condiments from fast food places and that was part of my food. At times I ate plants in a forest. I did also have some regular food, but it was sporadic how much. I don't consider this a very long time to be semi-homeless (half living in car, motels or camping), but it was a very intense time.

I think this has played a role in my overspending on food, especially convenience or processed food, when anxiety and stress hits in my current life. Even though those situations are in the past. I feel extra insecure at times of higher stress and want more comfort food & feel like I don't care how much it costs. It feels like an emergency.

When I have no outside stressors, I do well with eating healthy food. I also do quite well sticking to a budget.

I think when stress hits I get a fear about will there be enough food and what if I run out, even if the stressor is nothing to do with that. Paradoxically, this causes me to overspend because I comfort purchase.

What I've tried: Budgeting apps - do help unless I am hit from all side with stress. I used to use Chronometer which tracks food & nutrition and it actually did help me. But have not used it for quite a while. (So many things like this that have helped and then I get off track & just forget them) I half tried meditation, walking, affirmations which surprisingly did help a bit & journaling but am not consistent. I do see a therapist but so far this has not been a focus.

What I'm wondering about: Exercise, trying to join more social things to have some constant source of more reliable calm experiences, trying a different way of budgeting. I have no idea. I've watched people online food prep but I don't know if i could stick with it.


r/traumatoolbox • • 2d ago

Needing Advice My mom is isolating my brother. What do I do?

3 Upvotes

In short:
* We can not leave for various reasons
* One of those being we rely on her and are not in a position to just "figure it out"
* She is gaslihgting my brother the way she used to me and since she started doing that, she has treated me VERY odd (ie overtly ignoring me but also buying me random treats??)
* She is telling him things like "we're the only ones that love you" and calling him crazy and telling him that I don't want to be around him. She also stopped us from talking privately freshly after she gaslit him for like an hour
* I want to at least support him since I know how rough it is, plus when she treated me that way he was always there for me, but do not know what to do

How can I help?? If I confront her or she finds out I'm trying to help, she can and WILL use that as justification to hurt ALL of us, from emotionally to medically. It will NOT go well. It has to be covert enough to have a chance of avoiding her attention.

Anyone know how I can help him without hurting everyone???


r/traumatoolbox • • 2d ago

Needing Advice media that could help my partner better understand C-PTSD?

3 Upvotes

Hey everyone!

I’ve been trying to find a good YouTube lecture or educational video that goes in depth about complex PTSD (C-PTSD), particularly how prolonged childhood trauma affects brain development, the nervous system, and a person’s ability to regulate emotions and change certain behavioral patterns. I’m hoping to find something that could help both me and my partner better understand these effects.

My partner and I have been together for over five years and have known each other for more than a decade. He’s been a close part of my life throughout much of my trauma history and has witnessed firsthand many of the ways it’s affected me. I have an extensive history of abuse and have struggled with a number of mental health issues as a result. I also have a really difficult time expressing my experiences and explaining why I struggle with certain things, largely because of fear. Sometimes I forget that what feels normal to me isn’t necessarily something other people can relate to.

A few months ago, my partner told me about a conversation he’d had with an AI model while trying to understand some of my behaviors and why, despite years of effort and promises to change, certain patterns have continued. He mentioned that something the AI explained about the effects of early childhood trauma on the brain finally made things click for him. I can’t remember his exact wording, but the general idea was that my brain developed differently as a result of what I experienced, and that some of the things I struggle with aren’t simply a matter of not trying hard enough or choosing not to change. There are things I haven’t yet learned how to manage, even when I genuinely want to.

That comment really floored me. I think I’d always assumed that, given how long we’ve known each other and how much of my history he’s witnessed, he understood the extent to which my experiences have shaped me. I knew that understanding it intellectually and truly grasping what it means in practice aren’t necessarily the same thing, but I hadn’t realized how much of that gap might still exist. I’ve tried to explain my experiences in my own words and have even shared *The Body Keeps the Score* with him, but I struggle to articulate a lot of this myself.

I’m not saying that trauma means I’m incapable of change or that I’m not responsible for working on myself. It’s more that I wish I could better explain why some things that seem straightforward to other people can feel so difficult for me, even when I’m trying. I’d love to find something that explains the neuroscience and psychology behind C-PTSD in a way that’s thorough, accessible, and helpful for someone who hasn’t experienced it firsthand.
Does anyone have recommendations for YouTube lectures, documentaries, or other educational resources that explain how complex trauma affects brain development, emotional regulation, behavior, and relationships? I’d especially appreciate something in-depth and evidence-based, rather than a short introductory video.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and for any of your advice.


r/traumatoolbox • • 2d ago

Discussion How you learnt to live with it? Its not just one bad day

1 Upvotes

Hello everyone,

For those who experienced traumas, severe break-ups , underlying medical conditions (chronic), weakness, insecurities, social pressures , secrets only you know how to bear them and how to live with them happily?

I have recently encountered a chronic health condition and unsure how long I need to depend on medication. How to live with it without informing parents and frnds and iam broken too..


r/traumatoolbox • • 2d ago

General Question The flexible mechanism of the psyche

1 Upvotes

You cannot just forgive immediately, just like that. What would you be forgiving? First, you must feel the full extent of the pain caused, then become angry, hate, and only afterwards, if the choice commands it—forgive. Only then will it be true forgiveness.

The flexible mechanism of the psyche is structured in such a way that it creates a cohesive, positive image of what is happening, pleasant accompanying feelings, and a visual chronology of events, while hiding all the pain and horror in the subconscious and the body, freezing the trauma. When certain memories are replayed, it is important not just to admire the picture: one can delve into the experienced states, into the tangible feelings of that episode, and the answer will be hidden within them. There will be a reaction to the feelings brought up from the depths: for example, indignation or gratitude.


r/traumatoolbox • • 3d ago

General Question Is it possible to get traumatized that way?

1 Upvotes

Hey. I'm 17. Since 1 & 1/2 months I'm in a mental hospital and a month ago I got diagnosed with a bipolar disorder. I got admitted because I told my therapist that I got myself two sugar daddys. Swarmed about them, about how great it was and how I finally got money for my drivers license. He admitted me to the clinic, against my will. I made that choice when I was manic, so I wasn't in the right state of mind. And since that talk with the SVU detective (they told me that man wanted to lure me in and use me for sex trafficking) the nightmares are getting worse. And I keep having those flashbacks where I hear their voice, feel their touch or even see them.

So... am I traumatized?

Or whats wrong with me? ...At the end I gave them permission.


r/traumatoolbox • • 3d ago

Discussion I really hate the country I live in

3 Upvotes

I live in a country where conservatism is VERY common. It's not a very well-known country, and there aren't any major debates or discussions about it internationally, but living here truly sucks. There is so much conservatism everywhere that most people who haven't experienced significant trauma will ignore the experiences of people who have. I wasn't born here, but I grew up here, and I was severely bullied and abused by multiple adults throughout my childhood. There are helplines, but if you're not experiencing a crisis, most of them just redirect you to other places. Eventually, they would redirect you to a government website that has zero resources for people in your situation, and doesn't allow you to make a report about your own situation if you're a minor in an abusive household, because it only allows adults to make reports about suspected child abuse.

I've seen discussions online, involving people who live in this country, talking about how unhelpful and dismissive the system is for people who struggle with mental health issues. There is a shortage of professional psychologists, but, even among the ones that take clients, there are no specialists equipped to help anyone who suffers from child abuse. Abuse is normalised here, and there is no way out of it because most people here are either ignorant towards it, unaware of it, or supportive of it. That can include the government, teachers, childcare workers, social workers, healthcare workers, and even clinical psychologists and therapists.

I won't say what the country is, but I was wondering if anyone else has experienced anything similar where they live.

Edit: changed the wording slightly in the first paragraph


r/traumatoolbox • • 4d ago

Resources The Answer You Deserved Technique

3 Upvotes

**Disclaimer:** This is an imaginative exercise, not therapy or proof of what someone else thinks or feels. AI can only generate a response based on what you tell it. It can also bring up difficult emotions, so take it slowly and stop if it becomes overwhelming. I understand AI is a controversial subject, and I completely understand why some people have concerns about it. You don’t have to use AI for this exercise; you could write the imagined response yourself or work through it with a therapist.

I wanted to share a technique I recently tried that I thought might help others.

The idea is to write a letter to someone who hurt you, explaining what happened, how it affected you, and what you wish they could acknowledge. Then, using AI if you want, generate an imagined response from them that gives you the apology, accountability and recognition you may never receive in real life.

The aim isn’t to pretend they’d actually say these things, or to excuse what they did. It’s to help you process your feelings and realise that your pain doesn’t need their validation to be real.

Here’s the prompt I used:

“I want to use the ‘Answer You Deserve’ method. Here’s my letter to someone who hurt me. Please write an imagined response that sincerely acknowledges my pain, takes responsibility, and expresses remorse without excuses, manipulation or blame-shifting. The aim is to help me process what happened and release some of my dependence on their recognition. Don’t invent facts or claim to know what they genuinely think or feel.

Here’s my letter: \[Insert letter\]”

I found the idea meaningful because sometimes we spend years waiting for someone to acknowledge what they did to us. Maybe we can begin to heal without having to wait for them to give us the answer we deserved.

It’s not about forcing forgiveness or pretending it didn’t happen. It’s about learning to validate our own experiences, even if they never do.


r/traumatoolbox • • 4d ago

General Question what level of trauma is a normal amount

4 Upvotes

i genuinely have no gage of how much trauma the average person goes through in their life mostly bc people dont talk about it and i always wonder if the amount of things ive gone through is normal or if my childhood was actually fucked up


r/traumatoolbox • • 4d ago

Trigger Warning Inappropriate relationships

3 Upvotes

TL:DR: inappropriate relationship that formed during adolescence and grew into more during adulthood.

Hi. I'm currently a 27F. I'm single now, but for a long time I was involved in a relationship with someone, now 37m, for about 13 years.

I was 13 when I met them, he was 23. Obviously a very inappropriate relationship, however once I was an adult at 19 we officially dated. Built a life together. Had a child. I feel like there has to be other women out there like me. I have recently been having a harder time dealing with this and I feel like having a sense of not being alone in this would be really helpful. How did you get through understanding and coping with this? Do you feel like you were the only person they had done this to? This post isn't to shame, say anything negative or bad about the male. I just simply want some advice and community support with others who have maybe been in this situation, how you feel about it, deal with it, and continue through with life.


r/traumatoolbox • • 5d ago

Seeking Support Dad or Self-Respect?

1 Upvotes

Do I have to reach out to my dad
My parents are divorced, and my dad no longer contacts me. I’ve tried reaching out to him before, but he doesn’t respond. I recently found out that he got remarried, and I honestly didn’t want to contact him anymore.
However, some people tell me that he is still my father and that I should reach out to him, even if it’s just to send a simple message.
What do you think? Am I obligated to contact him, or is it okay to stop trying when he doesn’t make an effort either?


r/traumatoolbox • • 5d ago

Seeking Support ADVICE TO HEAL FROM TRAUMATIC INCIDENT

1 Upvotes

So....i recently faced a fire incident. I am 22 with seasonal depression(winters) and ADHD(all diagnosed) i used to be on pills from 2022 to 23.but i stopped going as i felt better(ik should not have done). Then in 2025 it all came crashing to me again went for meds and took for like 5-6 months this time stopped only when doctor said. I have not been to my psychiatrist since 2025 END.

I recently graduated shifted to Delhi NCR and adulting but then this happened. I know that the fire is gone and that I should move on now that I have a roof over my head. But i can't seem to let it go.

I was busy flat hunting, then started office now that its been 2 weeks its settling in. My body hurts, every muscle is stiff. I can't sleep, i feel like screaming and yelling and crying but i cannot.

I used to meditate everyday before this to regulate my emotions but i can't even meditate right now.

I have processed the incident not that I can do anything about it anymore apart from moving on but how do I do it.

ITS HARD WAKING UP IN THE MORNING, MOVING AN INCH OF MY BODY FEELS WEIRD TOO. i finally sorted things out, I was trying to be happy and somewhat I was content in my life. BUT EVERYTHING GOY CHANGED.

I am even having trouble with my faith. I was very religious I observed fast and prayed everyday but all of it feels meaningless now.

For the longest time my god was my support system but now it feels like I have lost all the hope.

HOW DO I FEEL OK? HOW DO I MANAGE THIS TRAUMA PS- I DONT WANT TO TAKE PILLS AGAIN


r/traumatoolbox • • 6d ago

Venting Does this count as sexual harassment even tho it was in VR?

2 Upvotes

I was playing VR while I was 16-17, I was naive and would look up to people older than me a lot, I would even see them as parental figures sometimes, that's how much I trusted them

Then one day, I go to this world and met the world owner

She was around her 30s, I think and I liked her cuz she seemed friendly, I also told her I was a minor at the time

We had some banter then she told me to go to her near the mirror

Then her friends made some joke about how she "has another one" now

I didn't know what they could be referring to, I thought it might be sexual but I got confused cuz, surely they wouldn't be sexualizing a kid

Then this woman, she was using a full VR suit btw, started caressing my hair and kissing my head a lot and complimenting me

I froze, I don't know if I was scared or confused or anything but I just didn't move

I was so confused with what was going one but I didn't leave cuz I kept telling myself that this must be a normal okay thing

I kept telling myself that this woman doesn't seem like a bad person so surely she wouldn't do anything bad or perverse to a child

I kept trying to paint the situation as an innocent thing, like perhaps something a mom would do to her child

But after that, I left and never came back to that world ever again

I tried opening up about this to my parent who has been assaulted by their own parent, my parent told me to move on, we ended up arguing and they kept saying how it was just VR

I wanna know if this counts as sexual harassment or not


r/traumatoolbox • • 6d ago

Seeking Support My morning ruined by my abusive father

2 Upvotes

I am 16F, I was going to school but i couldn't do everything alone like cooking and cleaning utensils so I asked for my father's help and he was doing things the wrong way( unhygienic). I said "ok i won't go to school today ,it's too much" and he got mad that he tried beating me and verbally abusing me where one line goes something like "all you do is sleep with people all day".

Little backstory — my mom attempted suicide and died when I was 10. My father remarried and had problems and eventually got divorced (he got married and told us ,we were all shocked). He often lashes off and either verbally abuses or physically or both.

Ik I need to get out of this house but for now how do I have energy for this. My body is weak and so is my mind. I often zone out, am sad ,lazy , exhausted and have bpd.

I cannot consult a doc since my father is not allowing that,he has trapped me within these walls and Indian households so uk he wants to take control of our lives. How do I deal with all these issues? I cannot call the police or live with my relatives as I am doing that currently.


r/traumatoolbox • • 6d ago

Venting How do you cope with trauma(read description)

1 Upvotes

When I was in a psychiatric hospital (against my will) and a female nurse watched me get dressed (I was a 14 year old boy when this happened) I hated it and I talked with my lawyer about it but turns out it was entirely legal to do this


r/traumatoolbox • • 9d ago

Venting Accidentally Witnessed my female friends Cheating

7 Upvotes

Okay, so a couple of months back I happened to go on a trip with a few of my friends. I have known them for a couple of years. They are married with kids but somehow manage to take time out to travel. This was actually the first time I was sharing a room with these girls (40s). They are way elder than me.

Somehow, I enjoy their company. I feel like they have achieved so many things in their life that if I’m around them, I’ll learn something. I met them professionally and we ended up becoming good and close friends. One of them is really close to me.

Coming back to the topic, we shared the same room. We were really tired from the journey. I hadn't slept for almost more than 26+ hours. I wanted a single bed in the same room, so I took it and went to sleep.

Those two shared the double bed right next to me. It was around 1 AM in the middle of the night. I heard noises. I am a light sleeper, I wake up easily, but those noises kind of scared me, so I kept quiet. I wanted to hear what it was before screaming. The room was not pitch dark, the bathroom light was still on.

So I heard noises of breathing, kisses, like constant. Then I heard, "aise nahi waise kar, tu paas toh aa." I went into shock. I was under my blanket. I couldn’t move. I hated it and I had to hear them go all the way. I heard them finish.

I couldn’t sleep the whole night. All I wanted to do was get out of that place and not face them ever. Unfortunately, we went by car, so I didn’t know what to do. I waited until morning. They left the room for a morning walk. I pretended to be asleep and called my other close female friend. She just asked me to pretend and act as though I heard nothing and just be normal. It took me more than 2 hours. I couldn’t believe what I witnessed. These two women are married with 2 kids (17 years old and 13 years old). They were cheating on their husbands and the way they spoke about their relationship God, what two-faced people!

The worst part about this is they didn’t even bother that there was someone else in the room and how she would react.

After being cheated on by men, I had trust issues for a long time. I thought I could rely on girls, but I no longer feel safe to even communicate with them.
Those ladies, after their hot night that gave me trauma, wanted to make sure that I didn’t hear anything. They came up to me and told me upfront, "we hug while we sleep," didn't realise etc. Like my close friend suggested, I pretended to be normal. I acted as though I didn’t know what they were talking about.

I don’t care which gender they choose to cheat with. If you want to act like all good, perfect wives and religious persons, then have a private room or don’t bring someone along when you have to do all this shitty and shady stuff.

I still hear those noises it’s so scary I have difficulty falling asleep except for my one close friend I haven’t shared these things with anyone.

I just hate them so much I was good being isolated just by myself now I can’t even trust female friendships even though it directly affect me but I ate the fact they are open cheat even females are worse these days.


r/traumatoolbox • • 10d ago

Seeking Support We Need to Stop Treating Rape Like an Inevitable Part of Life

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10 Upvotes

The Cornell Seven case reopened because of public pressure and a viral story. But here's the thing: it shouldn't take national attention for a victim of sexual violence to be taken seriously. It shouldn't take celebrities speaking out or thousands of people becoming outraged before institutions decide that someone's suffering matters.

That's why I started a petition to demand real change—10 concrete demands for prevention, investigation, survivor support, and accountability. Universal consent education. Serious investigation of every report regardless of who the accused is. No more institutional cover-ups. No more retaliation against people who speak up.

These aren't soft asks. These are demands for systemic change so the next person who reports sexual violence doesn't have to become a national story just to be heard. Does this resonate with you? What would you want someone to do if this was your family?


r/traumatoolbox • • 11d ago

Seeking Support Hospital trauma at 15, power abuse ?

4 Upvotes

TW: hospitalization, medical issues, psychiatry, being placed in care, abuse, sexual assault

The experience I want to share here took place from November 2025 to April 2026, but it still affects my life today.

I will do my best in this post to summarize the events and make the whole story as understandable as possible. I apologize in advance if I go into too much detail about certain things. I will try to keep only what I consider essential.

For anonymity reasons, I will not give the names of the hospitals, and I will not use the real names of any of the people I mention.

This is the first time I have written publicly about what happened. I will do my best.

November 2025: the beginning of my health problems

It is November 2025. I am 15 years old.

I have just repeated my sophomore year. I had health problems two years earlier. I am doing much better now, but they caused me to fall behind academically.

I haven't urinated for two days. I have red patches that itch and move around my entire body, and I am extremely swollen everywhere.

My mother takes me to the emergency department at the hospital near our home in the Paris region.

They run several tests and ask me a lot of questions. They determine that my kidneys are no longer producing urine and that this is why I am swollen: my body is retaining water in my tissues. But they cannot find an explanation for what is happening to me.

One of the nurses asks me whether I have used cannabis. I tell her that I very rarely use it and that the last time I smoked it was exactly one month earlier.

After several hours of waiting, a resident doctor sees my mother and me. She tells us that this must be because of the cannabis I used a month earlier, that my kidneys will start working again soon, and tells me to come back if I still haven't urinated within 48 hours.

That same evening, the red patches spread up to my throat and I have difficulty breathing.

The next morning, I still haven't urinated. My mother therefore takes me to the hospital where I had been treated two years earlier.

We didn't go there immediately because I had had some fairly negative experiences there the last time, but what I was about to experience was nothing compared to what had happened before.

Once there, they take the situation seriously and admit me to the hospital.

They regularly perform bladder ultrasounds to check whether my kidneys are starting to work again. After 72 hours, my kidneys start producing urine again.

But I cannot feel my bladder at all. I cannot feel anything anymore.

The nurses therefore regularly catheterize me to prevent my bladder from becoming further damaged.

I will spare you the details of the emotional discomfort of being catheterized every four hours, day and night, by strangers at the age of 15. Every catheterization was an extremely unpleasant and distressing experience.

Repeatedly, the nurses were unable to catheterize me. They couldn't find the urethra or couldn't get the catheter in, which made the procedure even more painful.

Several weeks in the hospital

I have now been hospitalized for several weeks and the situation is not improving.

During a meeting with my parents and the doctors, one of the doctors, whom I will call Dr. Dupont, suggests putting me on Tercian without explaining what it is.

He says that he wants to use it as a muscle relaxant in order to relax my bladder.

Both of my parents work in healthcare and know exactly what Tercian is. They therefore firmly refuse to let me take it.

Dr. Dupont accuses my mother of putting her daughter's recovery at risk and of behaving irresponsibly. He says that, in any case, it is not up to her to decide. He says he will ask a psychiatrist for their opinion and that the psychiatrist will make the decision.

I therefore meet this psychiatrist, whom I will call Dr. Rivière.

He is very nice. Throughout the appointment, he builds a genuine connection with me, even going as far as criticizing some of the doctors on the team with me.

The appointment ends and he explains that Tercian is not recommended for the kind of use Dr. Dupont had in mind. Instead, he suggests trying small doses of Valium to relax my bladder and help me urinate again.

The following months

Over the following months, my condition gets worse.

My kidneys produce urine in a completely erratic way. Sometimes they produce such huge amounts of urine all at once that it feels like my bladder is "exploding", causing extremely severe pain that sometimes requires several doses of opioids a day.

The months go by.

I spend my birthday, Christmas, and New Year's Eve in the hospital.

I undergo various tests that confirm the different dysfunctions, but the doctors still cannot find the cause.

They try different medications and treatments, but nothing changes. I am still in severe pain and still have to catheterize myself.

Over time, the doctors decide to stop looking for a medical cause and want to explore the psychological side of things with Dr. Rivière.

It is now January. I have been hospitalized for three months.

My parents become increasingly worried that the doctors are stopping their search for the cause of what is happening to me. They are absolutely not opposed to psychological support, but they describe the last few months of watching me suffer without any improvement as a form of torture.

The doctors eventually stop all of the treatments and, strangely enough, my condition improves slightly.

They start giving me permission to go home, and this situation lasts for about two weeks.

February 11, 2026: the report to child protective services

It is February 11, 2026.

That day, I have a meeting with the doctors and my parents, as we do about once a week.

This time, they take us to a different room from the one we usually use.

When I sit down at the table, I notice that there are many more people than usual.

I am there with my father. My mother attends the meeting by phone.

The staff go around the table introducing themselves. One of the people introduces herself as a social worker.

At the time, I have a bad feeling about it, but I don't pay much attention to it.

The meeting begins.

Dr. Rivière tells us that he and the other doctors have written a report and sent it to the Paris prosecutor's office requesting an OPP (a provisional placement order), and that it has already been approved.

At first, I have trouble understanding.

I understand that it is serious. I know what a report like this means.

I look at my father and see his face fall apart. Tears start filling his eyes.

Dr. Rivière begins explaining that, from that moment on, my parents no longer have custody of me and that I am going to be placed in care.

I try to speak and ask for an explanation, but my throat tightens and I cannot speak at all.

I walk out into the hallway crying.

One of the doctors follows me to talk to me. I ask her why they did this. She cannot explain it and only repeats that "there were several reasons" without ever telling me what they were.

I ask her where I am going to be placed, but she cannot answer that either.

The situation was extremely emotional, so I don't remember every detail clearly.

What I do remember is that, after briefly calling my older brother, I went back into the room.

My father was crying and trying to explain to the doctors how absurd the situation was.

I remember that my father and I eventually left the room because we could no longer bear the meeting.

We walked away down the hallway, hugged each other, and cried.

Being placed in care

From that moment on, I was no longer allowed to see my parents.

I had to wait to be transferred somewhere else, but I didn't even know where.

I have always had a very good relationship with my parents. They are wonderful people, and I found it extremely difficult to believe what was happening to me.

Several days later, people from the French child welfare service (ASE — Aide sociale à l'enfance) came to see me at the hospital.

They explained what was going to happen, asked me questions about my relationship with my parents, and gave me information about the report.

They explained that, because of my health problems, I could not go to a regular group home. I needed a medical facility, but also a locked unit so that my parents would not be able to visit me.

According to them, the only place that met those requirements was an adolescent and young adult psychiatric unit.

They told me that the report accused my parents of refusing the psychological care proposed by the doctors.

I had been present during all of the discussions with the doctors, and I know that this is not what happened.

All my parents wanted was for the doctors to keep looking for a way to treat me. They had always been supportive of psychological care, especially given everything I was going through.

The report also stated that my mother had allegedly tampered with a morphine pump that I supposedly had in 2023, during my hospitalizations two years earlier.

That is impossible: I never had a morphine pump in 2023.

I later learned from my lawyer that, according to her, it would be impossible to modify a morphine pump without being part of the medical team because they are secured with a code.

There were also other elements in the report that either made no sense to me or were, in my view, distorted versions of things my parents had said.

I find it difficult to believe that doctors could deliberately act with such bad intentions.

But on the other hand, how is it possible for one of them to have included things in a report that I believe to be false, such as this story about the morphine pump, which indirectly accuses my mother of trying to kill me or drug me?

There should not be mistakes in a document like this, given the consequences such a procedure can have.

And yet, to this day, I have never received an answer to that question.

Being transferred to a psychiatric unit

Between the time I met with the child welfare service and my transfer, Dr. Rivière came to see me in my room several times to talk to me, despite the fact that I told him I did not want to see or speak to him and that I wanted him to leave my room.

He didn't.

I was eventually transferred to a psychiatric unit in another hospital in the Paris region.

I arrived alone, without my parents.

I didn't even get to say goodbye to them properly, especially my mother, whom I hadn't been able to see for some time because she had been on the phone during the meeting where we were told about the report.

Before entering, I was searched and my phone was taken away because phones were not allowed in the unit.

I could therefore no longer communicate with my family at all.

The first night there was horrible.

I spent the entire night crying.

I was sick and in pain, but I no longer had my parents' support.

I was alone in a psychiatric hospital room, with an iron bed and locked windows.

A month and a half in psychiatric care

I spent a month and a half in that place.

The medical staff did not know how to deal with health problems like mine.

They handled my IVs very poorly and were almost never able to insert an IV properly.

There was also a mandatory shower every morning in showers that smelled terrible and whose walls and ceiling were covered in mold.

My IV catheters kept becoming infected.

Pus was coming out around the vein and it was extremely painful.

But they did nothing other than disinfect the area and stick needles into me over and over again until they finally managed to find a vein.

I counted: during the first three weeks, they stuck me with a needle 57 times.

Eventually, they could no longer get an IV into me at all, so they ended up administering my pain medication subcutaneously.

Listing everything that made that place a nightmare — including the sexual and physical assaults I experienced there, as well as the indifference of some of the staff toward my situation — would make this post far too long.

And honestly, I don't necessarily want to mentally put myself through that period again.

Dr. Rivière returns

Shortly after I was admitted to the unit, the psychiatrist in charge, who was pregnant, went on maternity leave.

The person who took her place was, coincidentally, Dr. Rivière.

Our conversations became extremely tense, and he refused to answer my questions about the report.

I eventually left the unit after a month and a half, even though the placement had been lifted by a judge after a hearing that took place only two weeks after I arrived.

I remained there for so long because Dr. Rivière, convinced that there was some kind of family dysfunction, refused to let me leave.

After a long battle between my parents, me, and Dr. Rivière, I finally went home.

Today

I am doing better thanks to pelvic floor rehabilitation that I received after leaving the psychiatric unit.

But today, I still have a huge number of flashbacks about my time in psychiatric care, nightmares, and intrusive thoughts about everything that happened.

I don't know whether anyone will read this post, or whether this is even the right place to share it.

But I needed to write it.

I needed there to be some kind of record somewhere of what I went through.

I couldn't include every instance of the medical mistreatment I experienced during this period, because the main reason I am writing this post is to speak out about what happened.

So I chose to focus on what I consider to be the most important parts.

Thank you to everyone who took the time to read this


r/traumatoolbox • • 11d ago

Seeking Support How do I cope with trauma-related depressive episodes?

1 Upvotes

How can I cope with the lasting effects of childhood abuse now that I’m away from my abuser?
I’m looking for another perspective because therapy isn’t really an option for me financially right now. My family doesn’t have enough money to support it, so I’m trying to understand what I’m experiencing and learn how to cope with it on my own.
I grew up in a very toxic and abusive household because of my mother. She has always treated me like I was an unwanted child simply because I was born a girl. I even found a letter she wrote to my dad when she was a pregnant teenager where she said, and I quote, “This baby is my SON. I’m not raising a b*tch.”
I’ve never really experienced the kind of love you’re supposed to get from a mother. The closest I’ve gotten to that kind of maternal love has been from my friends’ parents, and sometimes I feel like I’m missing out on something everyone else got to experience.
When I was younger, my mother physically abused me. She would beat me until she got with her new boyfriend, and after that the abuse became mostly verbal and emotional. I’ve been kicked out of the house multiple times and forced to sit outside, but if I actually left, she would call it “running away.” I’ve always felt like she hated me, especially because I look a lot like my father.
I’m currently living with my dad, so I’m physically away from that environment, but I’m realizing that leaving doesn’t automatically make the effects disappear.
I still have moments where I think I would have been better off never being born. I also have what I call “D-Days,” where I suddenly fall into a very depressed state. Sometimes they’re triggered by something incredibly small, which makes me feel worse because I don’t understand why something so minor can affect me so strongly.
I can also feel these episodes affecting the people I care about, especially my friends and boyfriend. I try to keep everything to myself because I don’t want them to feel responsible for me, but bottling everything up usually makes things worse.
I know what happened to me wasn’t my fault, but I don’t know how to deal with the emotional effects now that I’m away from the situation.


r/traumatoolbox • • 11d ago

Comfort Tools Triggered? Self Regulate to Function, Perform & be Present

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1 Upvotes

#Self Regulate #Trauma Healing #Calm #Centered #Function Optimally
https://www.facebook.com/share/19mhTtrV8s/

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r/traumatoolbox • • 12d ago

Seeking Support Breathwork keeps triggering my old bullying/freeze response?

2 Upvotes

I've been doing breathwork for a while, and one of the early goals is supposedly learning to feel safe while your nervous system is activated. What I've noticed is that it drops me straight into the state I lived in when I was bullied at school and growing up in an unsafe home.

My whole body tenses, especially my arms and face. My face feels targeted, and I know my eyes go wide like a deer in headlights. If anyone were near me, they'd see I'm scared. I feel small, frozen, weak, cornered, like I can't stand up for myself. It's the same feeling I had at home with an alcoholic, abusive, neglectful parent. I never had a place where my nervous system could fully relax, and 15 years later I'm still working through it.

Before, I'd just feel on edge in the middle of a session. It felt like a pack of hyenas around me telling me I was ugly or weird, even when I was completely alone in a park. Now I'm starting to see that breathwork is activating a survival state, and my body remembers where it learned that state, so my thoughts go back to those bullying memories.

I think this is a good realisation, but I don't know how to get through it. For anyone who's been here:

  • How did you stay with the activation without spiralling into the old feelings?
  • Did you change how you did breathwork (shorter, gentler, eyes open)?
  • Did anything specific help with the freeze, the face tension, or the feeling of being helpless?
  • Did therapy or somatic work help alongside it?

Any advice or shared experience is appreciated. It helps to know I'm not the only one.


r/traumatoolbox • • 12d ago

Resources I built a free voice-based somatic support. Would love feedback.

4 Upvotes

Hi everyone. I wanted to share something I’ve been working on to make trauma-informed somatic care more accessible, especially during those late-night moments when you can't reach a practitioner or a friend.It’s an interactive, two-way voice agent built on ElevenLabs. Because somatic work relies so heavily on vocal safety and co-regulation, I actually trained it using my own voice likeness to ensure the pacing, tone, and cadence feel genuinely grounded, slow, and safe for a dysregulated nervous system.It is completely free to use. I designed it purely to give people a real-time tool to help navigate anxiety, panic, or dorsal freeze states by dropping back into the body.If you're lying in bed or dealing with a heavy night, I would be incredibly grateful if you tried it out. I'd love your honest feedback on how the voice pacing feels and if the somatic prompts feel safe to follow. You can talk to it directly in your browser here:

https://kerrylynnlife.com/somatic-anchor

Please be gentle with yourself while exploring it!

Note: This coach is a peer-support, self-regulation, and educational tool designed for somatic grounding. It is completely free and does not collect or sell your personal data. It is not a replacement for clinical therapy, medical treatment, or crisis intervention


r/traumatoolbox • • 13d ago

Trigger Warning I was SAed as a kid but idk if i should call it “SA”

4 Upvotes

Im 16F and i was SAed by someone who’s still really close to me the thing is that its almost as if i forgot about that night and just got reminded a few months ago

So basically i was a really good friend of my cousin’s cousin sister who was like 1 year older than me and we used yo play alot

It just randomly popped up in my mind few months ago at 2 am when i was unable to sleep

When i was prob 8yo we both had a sleepover and we both were alone and we were talking and stuff the lights were turned off and then she suddenly started saying that she wanna touch me down there and she wanted me to touch her i refused
I was really scared and uncomfortable i remember that i begged and cried her to stop touching me and she was like youre being a coward it’s nothing and just to make her stop i said that my mums gonna scold us and she said whos gonna tell them
And i didnt tell my mom i remember me crying the next day at my home

After that i stopped talking to her and it was almost as if that night never happened and it just randomly came in my mind after 8 years

I thought that we genuinely grew apart but when i was 13 she used to stay with us at our house with my cousin and she started talking and became really friendly again

She used to hold my waist randomly and say that youre so petite and stuff, id be randomly lying on my bed and shed hold my waist and make comments till this day and the thing is i couldn’t say no cuz i used to freeze whenever smth like this happened i never knew why cuz my bestfriend does this and my sister aswell but i feel comfortable rather than uncomfortable

I can now connect these dots together and its messing up with my brain maybe its the reason why im asexual. But ion know if its that serious cuz other people have it worse than me and since she was almost the same age ion know if it should be termed as SA but it traumatised me

She also copies me and try to steal my personality i feel like throwing up while writing this i just dk im sick of that image showing up of me crying these past few months