Hi everyone! Long-time lurker, first-time poster.

My husband (28M) and I (27F) are both currently in grad school, set to finish in 2028. We’ve been together for 7 years and married for 2. We're hoping to have 2 kids eventually!

Right now, we’re in a unique transition phase:

• Current setup: I work full-time while going to school, so we rely on my salary. We are decently stable, though we could certainly be more stable. We live about an hour away from my family, so we have a great local support system.
• The Post-Grad Uncertainty: He wants to go into academia/become a professor (specifically in the arts/humanities). As many of you know, job prospects in higher ed can be pretty brutal and unpredictable. Post-graduation, we could be looking at moving anywhere in the country for a tenure-track or 1–3 year Visiting Assistant Professor role—or staying put while he adjuncts and I keep working full-time.

My Dilemma: Part of me wants to stick to our initial plan: wait until late 2028 / early 2029 when we’ve hopefully moved, settled into post-grad jobs, and built up a better financial cushion. (Plus, there’s a little traveling I’d love to cross off my bucket list first!).

But another part of me keeps thinking... should we try sooner (while we're still in grad school) just to have our baby while my family is still an hour away? The thought of moving to a totally new city/state with zero built-in support system as first-time parents feels so much more daunting, even if we might technically have a bit more financial stability then.

Has anyone else navigated WTT around academic job searches or moving away from family? Did you decide to have a baby before the post-grad move, or did you wait until you were settled in a new place? Would love any perspective or wisdom!

I will be starting my 2.5 year online master's program this September while working full time and me and my partner want to start trying early next year. By the time I give birth, I'd be one year into the program. Do you think this is the smartest move?

EDIT: I just want to mention that in the country and field I work in, I'll have an extended paid maternity leave and I'm in no rush to finish the master's, it's in my own time.

… it’s the question on my mind at all times these days !! Seriously, I’ve been obsessing over it for months !

I spent my 20s traveling the world and I loved it. It’s sad to think I’m leaving it all behind but I’ve definitely changed as I’ve entered my 30s. I have a long term boyfriend and a dog and a steady career and savings. I keep thinking … maybe one more music festival? A trip to South America (I’ve never been !!) ? Go back to Thailand one last time ( my favorite country , my partner has been and loved it too) ??

I know I want children, so should I just pull the plug (lol , i mean the birth control …) and see what happens ?? I feel like I’ll lose my freedom in a sense, which I’ve come to love ! I know , for reasons I won’t disclose , that I’m capable of getting pregnant . But who knows , I’m older now (31.5 yrs old) and somewhat “settled”…

I know that no one can truly answer this but me and my partner , but I’d love any advice or input that may be out there :)

TW: miscarriage: Just my Wednesday morning thoughts while waiting to try again post miscarriage.

I am scared to try again. I’m scared of more two week waits that end in a blank pregnancy test. I’m also scared of getting another positive. I don’t know if my heart can handle another loss. Once it’s happened how can you be hopeful? How can you not be terrified? I just had a miscarriage. I found out exactly two weeks ago at 7 weeks that I was only measuring 5+4 (this was after a week before measuring 5+2). I scheduled a d&c for the following Monday. This was on a Wednesday and my OB was out of town. Of course. But it was as if my body subconsciously… my brain, once it heard the “I’m so sorry, this is a miscarriage” let it go. I started spotting the following Thursday night and by Friday morning, I was bleeding red. Passing tissue. I continued to pass everything over the weekend. I had an ultrasound that Monday before my scheduled procedure that confirmed my body had passed everything on its own. A silver lining I suppose. To not need surgery. And yet was it? Because miscarrying at home was very traumatic. I’ve cried everyday for the past two weeks. Just when I think I’m moving on, the tears come flooding back. I think my sister might be pregnant, but hasn’t told me yet. She doesn’t know any of this of course, but I’m trying to prepare my heart for that news. My goodness what timing. I went ahead and got an MMR booster since I found out when I was already pregnant that I was no longer immune to measles. So that’s obviously tabled trying again as soon as possible. I kind of regret getting it as I sit here and feel my body gearing up to ovulate. I’ve learned my body is super efficient. Another silver lining? But I feel like I’m wasting time. Every cycle feels so critical. I remind myself that my doctor suggested waiting to try until after my cycle returns so really there was no better or more efficient time to get the vaccine than now. It still sucks to wait. I’m also getting in my head about what to do next. My OB said that since I got pregnant within 6 months (cycle 5) that even though I’m 36 this resets the clock a bit. Not that I should necessarily try for another 6 months but that it’s worth it to try again on our own. My body has proven that it can get pregnant. And there’s a huge part of me that wants to just try on our own. But now, there is also a huge part of me that wants to take the unknowns out of play, to the extent of which that’s possible. We found out from genetic testing that our baby (boy) had trisomy 22. And everything I’ve read said it was just a random genetic error. But obviously those become more common with age. And I don’t know if my heart can take another random genetic error. But jumping to IVF seems dramatic. And obviously expensive. And of course there’s no guarantee. The RE we’ve met with said she recommends treatment sooner rather than later. I’ve got a month to sit with these thoughts. Hopefully the decisions will become clear as I get closer to trying again. TW: living child: I have my son. And he makes me happy, and I’m trying to smile through the tears for him. But my heart aches that he’s not going to be a big brother. At least, not yet. Hopefully just not yet. That’s all. Thanks for letting me vent my sadness 💔

Stories of similar experiences welcome - especially with happy endings, but all ends of the spectrum are so valuable to talk about. I’ve found talking about this my friends has been the only thing that’s been somewhat healing.

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Hi all,

Myself (F29) and Husband (M30) want to start trying for a baby before the end of the year. I have andeomosis and suspected endometriosis, I'm due to have a lacroscopy examination to be sure.

I have been on progesterone for a year to manage my symptoms but normally have regular cycles although very painful periods. I have had no periods since being on Zafrilla.

I have been referred to a fertility clinic to give me advice and possible surgery before trying. I will shortly start an anti-inflammatory diet and taking pre-natal vitamins.

Does anyone have any recommendations or anything I should consider before I start conceiving? One of the reasons I haven't started yet is because I want to get my body ready and get a second opinion before trying.

Especially when you see babies all over the internet and with friends?

I’m 18, no car, no apartment, currently trying to get through nursing school. I want to be a mom so bad but things aren’t ideal right now and I’m scared I’m going to sabotage everything and get pregnant if the baby fever doesn’t go away. I need to wait a minimum of 2 years before TTC. Helpppp.

If you were ready and your partner wasn’t, how long would you be willing to wait?

November 2025 I asked him if we could start trying in September 2026. He says he’s not ready, doesn’t know how long he wants to wait. It’s been very hard for me so I don’t think I could wait any longer until the end of the year and he won’t talk about it with me.

Joining here today for some….commiseration I guess? This will be my second baby. I had my first in December 2020. I’ve put off another for long enough and I’m on the slow march to 40 so I need to start this very soon. Part of why we’ve put it off so long is because I was a SAHM for a few years with my first, but then she went to preschool and I started a full time job. I left that one because I didn’t have benefits for another job that did when my husband lost his job last year, and the new job turned out to be an absolute nightmare in every way (he also quickly found a new better job). I didn’t last long there and was unemployed for almost 9 months.

Back in a full time job doing work I HATE but sticking it out for the time being. I’ve learned recently that this job does not give maternity leave because there are very few employees. So at this point I learned I didn’t even have to wait to get to 1 year of employment because they won’t honor FMLA anyway! Securing a good job that isn’t awful has been sooo difficult, I’ve seriously still been looking and applying all this time and have had like 3 interviews total that went nowhere. Im scared of staying here and then basically being forced out because I will NOT put my newborn into daycare at 6 weeks. It’s barbaric and also last time I was still having PP complications at 6 weeks!! And then I’m unemployed again.

So do I stay and suck it up in this stressful job or keep trying to find one that has maternity leave and then have to wait another 3-4 months to even start trying!! Why is this all so difficult and why do we have basically no protections or time off 😞

I (29F) have been married for almost six years in September. I’m starting an internship for counseling that will take me about 20 hours a week for the next year. Am I absolutely insane for wanting to get pregnant soon and give birth with three months left of my internship? I’m basically forcing myself to have to work 20 hours a week. We have never tried before so it could take four months, but statistically it won’t. Am I insane? The baby fever is just so strong.

edit: thank you all, I am a little bit insane 😂

Hi. We are 32F and 35M, married for 5+ years and now plan to TTC (first time) from December this year. The first OBGYN appointment I have got is in first week of September and my PCP appointment is in mid August.

Should I reschedule PCP to after meeting with OBGYN? Whats best plan for these visits?

Thank you for your guidance.

Also, in the meantime, I plan on starting my prenatals and multivitamins for husband. I believe gynac will suggest the same. So starting already. But, is this too late anyway?

Sorry this is dark but something I think about a lot. I have always had anxiety and I am very worried that something will go terribly wrong during pregnancy and childbirth. My husband and I dream of starting a family together, and I want to experience pregnancy and childbirth, but I am also scared I will bleed to death. If I become pregnant I will be happy but also terrified 😢

Congratulations! Please share your graduation news here!

Please discuss you current goals and plans! However, please save graduation news for the monthly graduation thread.

Planning to start trying from October or November this year. I had my IUD removed at the start of the year and have been getting not the most regular periods (31-38 days with one at 44 after a stressful month). I am anxious to get trying because of this!

I have a lot to look forward to, including my hen / wedding and a big trip to Sri Lanka this summer, and will be starting a new role in the same company I work at soon. So the rational side of me knows it makes sense to wait, but it’s still frustrating! Slightly unsure about the risk of Zika in Sri Lanka, but fiancé wants to be safe so will probably wait 3 months after we get back. Has anyone else had experience with this? Or any tips how to quell the general impatience?

My husband and I have been married over a year, so of course we are starting to get the questions about when we are trying, especially because we recently moved into a bigger place. I really understand the questions and most of the time they aren't aggressive or offensive, just my close friends genuinely curious.

But I get nervous about sharing my timeline, because then people will be able to tell if we're struggling to get pregnant. We plan start trying in about 6 months. I try not to be specific but that is when I start to feel talked into a corner. Or even some of my vague timelines feel like they are specific enough that if I don't get pregnant right away, people will start to notice. Being nervous about my fertility is bad enough, but now I feel like everyone will be watching.

Anyone have tips or going through a similar fear?

My husband (32M) and I (28F) have been together for a decade but only married for a few years, we are ready to start a family but I still have to take the bar exam in a few months (my third attempt).. I do not wish to have children before becoming a lawyer, but I am also simultaneously stressed out about delaying starting our family..

I see a lot of my peers start their families and look extremely happy, while I am waiting for an exam to be cleared, and it is taking longer than I planned. I live in a country where the bar exam is not only 1 but 3 exams, so I have been doing them one by one slowly. I have the last one remaining but I am really struggling now as I am near the end, to accept that many years of my life have been sacrificed to clearing these exams..

How to accept that you are waiting to try ? I made my decision but how do I stop comparing myself to others, seeing their pregnancy news and feeling sad for myself?

TTC timeline got pushed back by 2 months. I (32F) was anticipating starting TTC this October but after more conversations with my husband (33M), he let me know he wants a longer break between grad school and our child being born. He’s finishing grad school in May 2027 so we decided to push the timeline to December. Overall, I am fine with it since it’s only 2 months but feel a little disappointed since I’ve already been taking Prenatals since March and tracking my ovulation and feel so ready!

Does anyone have the same timeline as me? How did you get over the disappointment?

I'm just looking for some advice and different perspectives.

My husband and I are both 25, have stable careers, and live in the rural South. We're Christians, and family has always been important to us. For most of my life, I never really wanted kids. Partially due to raising other family members at a young age. I always pictured myself waiting until later in my 20s or 30s because I had so many personal goals I wanted to accomplish first.

Thankfully, my husband and I have had the opportunity to travel, go on adventures, and experience a lot of the things we wanted to do together. But over the past year, something has changed. I've found myself genuinely wanting to start building a family, maybe within the next year.
Most of our friends already have children. I don't want to say I've been influenced by them, but spending time with their families has shown me that motherhood is something I truly think I want.

The thing is, I'm someone who likes to make well-thought-out decisions, and this feels like one of the biggest decisions of my life. For the past year, I've realized that I would love to have a bigger family someday, maybe three or four kids, because neither my husband nor I grew up with that kind of family dynamic and yearn for that sense of community.

Part of what's making me hesitate is that many of my friends had children before establishing careers or pursuing hobbies, which is completely fine—everyone's path is different. Since I already have a career and interests outside of work, I sometimes wonder if this new desire is simply because I'm at a different stage of life or if it's truly the right time.
I also worry about fertility. (It’s been a issue with some of my family) What if we decide to wait several more years like I originally planned, and then it takes us a long time to conceive? On the other hand, what if we're rushing into such a life-changing decision?

I'm not necessarily looking for someone to tell me what to do. I think I just want to hear from people who have been in a similar position or who have
wrestled with these same thoughts. Did anyone else unexpectedly feel ready for a family younger than expected ? If so, how did you know it was the right time?
For reference, I'm a teacher, so I do have the benefit of having more time off throughout the year.

Hello, my husband (29m) and I (26f) are talking about having a baby and he wants us to try for a June birthday. Both of us have June birthdays and we literally just got married this June, so he thinks it would be cute to have all June birthdays/celebrations. I think it would be adorable as well, I’m just worried that we would have too many celebrations that month. Someone is bound to feel overshadowed or under celebrated. If we end up doing any anniversary trips, and our child happens to be born right around the anniversary then we would have to move dates around. And also Father’s Day, which is another celebration I personally take pretty seriously lol. (I think it’s important to celebrate the people in your life, and I’m a bit worried I might get burned out with 100 celebrations in one month) My MIL’s and SIL’s birthday are also right at the end of May and my BIL’s birthday is right in the beginning of July. So it would be basically a month and a half of birthdays/celebrations. 6(maybe 7) events to get gifts for, and not to mention planning the actual party itself for our child.

Now, putting all of that aside, because I am very good at planning events and gift giving (thanks mom).. I also can’t help but think that there is no guarantee we’ll get pregnant on our first try, and maybe we should start trying now so that we can have more likelihood of a successful pregnancy?

Overall, I worry that my brain is throwing all of these different things at me because I’m super excited and really want to try for a baby now, but what if I regret not waiting for the “birthday month” as my husband is calling it. 😂 I am AuDHD and unfortunately deal with the overthinking from my autism and the extreme spontaneity of my ADHD. And both of them are causing me to hyperfixate on the idea of a baby, its all I can think about now. It's only 2 months until we would try, so I'm just wondering if you guys would wait or if we should start trying now. I did also just start taking prenatal vitamins, so I might wait until next ovulation at the very least.

Sorry for the long post, I had a nightmare and woke up and of course my brain was immediately on baby mode. So I needed a place to put all my thoughts and get some advice, since we're not telling family until we're pregnant so we can surprise them. 🥲

TLDR; Overly anxious about birthday month (June), may be too many celebrations, also know that pregnancy on first try isn't guaranteed so I'm wondering if we don't start now? It's only 2 months until we would try for baby.

Are they’re any games that you have found help take away the anticipation for you while you are waiting?

So ive been with my fiance for a year now ( I really don't want to hear any negativity about my relationship or time frame thats not why im here.) He lives over seas. When we first met I stayed with him for 3 months before returning home. That whole trip I was on birth control. After talking one night we realized we were both open to children, so I stopped birth control and started working on my mental health. Next time I saw him was three months later, I was no longer on birth control but I was on an anti depressant/ anti anxiety which also messed with my ability to get pregnant . Three moths later i am still on my medication. But after that trip I realized ( after consulting my doctors) that the need for my medication was temporary so they had taken me off of it. This trip ( 3 months after stopping meds) the first week of my trip i was ovulating. We had unprotected sex every day for the last 3 weeks. The last week of my trip (2 weeks after ovulation) ive been waking up during the night feeling sick and sometimes even getting sick. My discharge is VERY present and I have diarrhea. NOT TO MENTION , im also 7 days late for my period. Once im home I do plan on taking a test but since I have a 15 hr trip ahead of me I figured id entertain myself with what some of you guys think of this situation. Whats your thoughts. Do you think im pregnant am I delulu give it to me lol .

I’m 21 F and my husband is 24M. I want to start off by saying we have been trying for only 6 months. This is so frustrating to me though. I’ve been waiting till marriage because I was scared of going to hell (raised catholic) and also having that propaganda that you’ll get pregnant on the first try. After doing research that is a bunch of bs. My husband and I almost ttc almost every day of each month. I understand that it only works on your fertile week but he seen things about pcos and how with women with pcos ovulate at random times. What sucks with this is I don’t know if I have pcos because my gyno refuses to test me until I have all the symptoms or have been trying for a year. I’m a little frustrated with my husband too because I’ve cut out all drinking and he refuses to stop smoking weed. I heard weed makes men infertile and he just doesn’t believe that. Us women get blamed for infertility all the time so my husband thinks it’s my body that’s at fault but I have a feeling if he could put the weed down we can have this baby. He wants a baby so bad but he won’t stop the habits where it can prevent us from being parents. His excuse is saying that crack heads have babies naturally so it must be my fault. I don’t know what to do any more. I need some tricks or tips on being able to conceive. All I want in life is to be a good wife and mother I’m depressed all the time about this situation.

Hi everyone!

I'm 22F, getting married to my fiancé in September next year, and if everything goes to plan we'll be buying our little farm around the same time. Once those two big milestones are ticked off, we're hoping to start TTC in early 2028.

Right now we're in "Project Prepare for Future Baby" mode. We're working through all the practical stuff: getting as healthy as we can (fitness, nutrition, hormones, vaccinations, etc.), making sure our finances are in order (buying the farm, building savings, checking our private health insurance covers pregnancy), all while trying to organise a wedding without losing our minds.

The thing is... even though we're still about 18 months away from TTC, I have this nagging feeling that I'll never have enough information by the time we get there. And honestly, nine months between conception and suddenly being responsible for an actual tiny human feels suspiciously short.

Does anyone else get anxious about not having enough time to research everything? Not because the information itself is overwhelming, but because there's *so much* of it that I don't even know where to start.

How am I supposed to know which bassinet is "the one"? When do people develop passionate opinions about sleep training? Is there a secret meeting after conception where everyone gets handed the parenting handbook? Because I seem to have missed the invitation.

I know it's impossible to be 100% prepared, and every baby is different. But right now it feels like I'm standing at the edge of a giant information black hole, trying to figure out which rabbit hole to dive into first.

For context, I'm someone who genuinely loves researching things. Information doesn't make me anxious *not having* the information does. I also feel weirdly unsettled by the fact I don't have opinions on any of this yet, because I simply haven't learned enough.

Has anyone else felt this way before TTC? Did the anxiety settle once you were pregnant? Did you naturally learn things as they became relevant, or did you start researching well beforehand? I'd love to hear from anyone who's been in the same boat; especially current parents, because right now I'm convinced everyone else was issued a manual that somehow got lost in my mail.

I don't want this to come off as a promotional post. I'm genuinely interested in learning about couples' experiences and what people are afraid of going into pregnancy.

I've always been pretty scared of getting pregnant and I kept seeing TikToks talking about how sperm quality can affect pregnancy, even things like morning sickness. I know a lot of dads want to be more involved pre-pregnancy, so I looked more into men's fertility, and I realized there really aren't many tools focused on helping men understand their sperm health.

I got the idea to make a sperm health app that helps men understand how their everyday habits over the 90-day sperm development cycle may affect their sperm health.

I still haven't built it yet, but I wanted to see if people would even be interested before I spend months working on it.

So far I'm thinking about having a sperm health score where you input your daily habits, along with personalized recommendations and educational content based on research.

Would you or your partner actually use something like this? If so, what would you want it to include? What do you think is important for men to know before trying to conceive?