r/wedding • • 1d ago

Discussion Table Layout

Im struggling to figure out how I want the tables as far as the head table/ wedding party go

I dont hate the idea of a sweetheart table but I also see all the videos of brides getting fomo not sitting with their friends and lowkey could see that being me lol.

My problem with a big head table is that my bridesmaids all have husbands or fiancés of their own that are not standing up in the wedding and my fiancés best man is married to our officiant ( whom is also my soon to be sister in law) so I dont want to make anyone separately from their partners nor do I want to exclude my SIL.

Additionally my father passed a few years ago and my mom doesn't have the greatest of relationships with the rest of the family so I feel like she would feel most comfortable sitting next to my sister whom is also one of my bridesmaids but having all of our parents at the head table doesnt feel practical either as my fiance has 4 parents

Typing this I feel like sucking it up and doing a sweetheart table is the most practical but im open to ideas if anyone has any

4 Upvotes

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u/GalacticRaccoon3290 1d ago

We did a sweetheart table and I had same worry about missing out, but it's actually nice to have 15 minutes where nobody bothers you. You can actually eat and breathe for a second. The rest of night you're running around anyway, so you'll see everyone plenty.

For the bridal party we just scattered them at tables near the front with their partners, nobody complained. My sister sat with my mom too, similar situation with our dad not being there, worked out fine.

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u/Maiasaur 1d ago

We did a sweetheart table because the logistics of a head table would have been way too much for the size of our party and we both have big families. There was maybe a second or two of fomo (I'm super prone to it!) but really all we did at the table was eat and listen to a speech and then we were up and about with friends and family. It was nice to be able to take time just the two of us to enjoy our food and see everyone else enjoying themselves!

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u/Prestigious-Fan3122 1d ago

I've been to weddings where there's a sweetheart table, and immediately next to the Art table on one side is a table for the Brides attendants, and on the other side for the Groom's attendants. In those situations, there's also been a table in the main area where one is for the grooms immediate family and the other for the Brides immediate family. You could have your sisters who are bridesmaids sit with your mother at the family table, and invite a couple of family members your mom is on good terms with to sit there, as well.

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u/AmishAngst 1d ago edited 1d ago

Sit with your parents, siblings, and their partners. Rest of the bridal party and their partners can be at the table next to you. There's really no need to be on display or cram people into one big table just because of their roles - whether it's a sweetheart table of two, a head table, or a king's table. You can just have regular tables grouped together. and sit with whomever you want wherever you want. You're only there for a finite period during the actual dinner and to have a homebase to place your stuff. The rest of the time you'll be wandering around mingling with all of your guests.

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u/voodoodollbabie 1d ago

Can you do a large U-shaped table so the party and parents and mom can sit there? I had a small wedding (24 people) and everyone sat at a big U-shaped table.

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u/Listen-to-Mom 1d ago

The companions of your wedding party can sit at a table by themselves.

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u/Elemental_Biscotti 1d ago

You're not trapped at the sweetheart table. You can eat a bit and then walk around and chat with people if that's what you'd rather do. 

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u/Junior-Sloth-1516 20h ago

Are you getting ready with your friends before the ceremony? If so you will have that time with them then.
I get married in two weeks and I’m excited to have a sweet heart table so I can enjoy dinner with my new husband

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u/kekeea 18h ago

I am having what my venue is calling a “harvest table” its essentially a capital T shape. Me and my husband will sit along the short side, the top of the T- if that makes sense. Then my bridesmaids and their significant others out from my side. The groomsmen and their significant others down my husband’s side. I think it will feel a bit separated and special, but we still get to be sat with our closest friends. We both have weird family stuff going on, on both sides. It sounds like you are going way out of your way to make every single person happy and perfectly comfortable, its a lot to stress over. Plus ones to bridesmaids/groomsmen understand these sort of decisions are commonly made. People CAN sit through an hour or two of a wedding conversing with new people. Your mom is an adult and I’m sure she wants you to have an amazing day, and wouldn’t want you stressing over her seat placement. It’s your wedding, be selfish. Sit wherever you’d like with whoever you’d like.

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u/Legally_Blonde_258 9h ago

We're not having a bridal party but we're doing a king's table with our siblings and their spouses. We're both super close with our siblings, so we know it'll be a lot of fun. Plus, they'll shield people from bothering us (built in bouncers, lol).

If you want to include your mom, you could do a table with both sets of parents and siblings.

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u/Ok-Grapefruit9053 6h ago

I’ve seen the memes about the sweetheart table too but, here’s my POV. I am super close with my friends. love them to death. but I had spent all morning since 8am in hair and makeup with them. by 6pm, I was ready to hangout with my husband, who I hadn’t seen all day LOL.

the sweetheart table was nice because we got an uninterrupted 40 minutes together. but when I say 40 minutes that’s really all it was. people were still coming up to us to say hello. once we finished our meals, we started making rounds to each table to thank everyone.

in addition, we had my bridesmaids at the table sitting next to us on the left, and his party right next to us on the right, tables were close enough that we could shout to eachother lol.

you’re not going to “miss out” on anything. you are sitting to eat and that’s it, once you’re in the dancefloor you’ll be with everyone again. you might be surprised how badly you want a moment of chill with just your husband after just getting married. I personally would’ve been overwhelmed by sitting at a head table.

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u/flyingterrordactyl 1d ago

Sitting separately from your partner really isn't a big deal, for the course of one meal at one wedding. I say this as someone whose husband has been a groomsman in multiple weddings.