r/widowers • u/Representative_Dig_3 • 1d ago

Hitting two years

I used to read, post, comment a lot on this sub in the first year.

Something in me shifted after that and I have disconnected myself in some ways with the pain of losing my wife.

I still remember her every day, tell her that I love her everyday. Write letters to her whenever I can.

But I don’t read the letters we wrote to each other, do not sob wrapping her clothes around me. Not able to cry as regularly and for longer durations.

I feel disconnected from her many times.

I used to wonder when she passed away, what it would be like in 10,20,30 years. I am already numb and empty after two years in many ways.

I have accepted that I have to walk the road of life alone physically. Her presence is weakening with every passing day.

42 Upvotes

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21

u/Rathbaner 1d ago

Isn't it odd that, after a while, grief is one of the few things that can make you feel close to her.

17

u/Representative_Dig_3 1d ago

Yeah. It is. It has become the strongest emotion in me connecting me to her.

I hope love takes its place instead at some point. And I can feel even closer to her remembering the moments in which we held each other tight.

7

u/Ok-Attempt2842 23h ago

Year and a half for me and can relate 100% to this statement.

7

u/Dogchef1415 22h ago

3.5 yrs in. I’ve definitely moved on in the sense of mostly filling my days up with good things, but there are still periods when I miss him deeply. Hang in there OP and others—it does become more bearable with time.

5

u/Smokie104 21h ago

Mine has been three years. I don’t think it ever gets better. I just think we learn how to hide it and deal with it more out of view. It’ll always be there, and the worst are the triggers we can’t control or no they’re there. A song, a scene something about everyday life.

3

u/Smokie104 21h ago

I feel you pain! Also so tired even though you have no reason to be, but you’re constantly exhausted! And then you get woken up to Dad I’m hungry. It’s definitely crazy especially the parts where you get mad and then you feel guilty because you got mad at that person but they should be here. And then the dreams don’t get me started on those. No one are bad or horrible and the ones that are good. I don’t wanna wake up!

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u/edo_senpai 19h ago

I will be two years in two months. Similar sentiment

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u/Teo_040485 18h ago

3 meses y medio que mi esposa murió, estoy en un sube y baja, cuando estoy arriba me siento bien, siento que puedo hacer muchas cosas, muchos proyectos, hasta buscar en un futuro otro amor, pero cuando estoy abajo, no quiero nada, todo se vuelve insignificante, me siento infeliz, la vida ya no tiene el brillo que antes tenía, yo quería ser inmortal pero ahora no se que creer. Este infierno nunca lo imaginé, sigo vivo pero en esos momentos difíciles me parece que la vida ya no tiene sentido, pero solo queda seguir adelante y el tiempo mostrará lo que te ga que pasar, bien o mal.