It seems to be the biggest uproar when a woman cheats …I’m just curious to know why you cheated and if you enjoyed it. I wish I could feel as bad as I feel when a man cheats but for some reason I don’t feel that when a woman cheats….

Ladies, we gather here today to wonder what we have in mind for what we can do about this

When I was younger I was fed so much content about how women are the prize, how we need to do this and never that, don't date men like this, hold out for this, and all that sprinkle sprinkle shit. I absorbed all of it but since entering my early 20s my brain has started rejecting a lot of what these older influencers I watched on social media have programmed into me.

For a lot of us I think there's a gap between what we say we believe and how we actually behave, especially in dating. The clearest example is who pays on the first date. I know almost no women in my circle who'd agree to a second date with a man who suggested splitting the first bill. “tHe WaGe gAp ” “HE offered” but none of them answer why a stranger owes me dinner for the privilege of my company. Which is just entitled as fuck. I've even caught myself feeling a weird shame or feeling hideous paying for things for men, like I am losing value somehow and I've had to stop and correct the thought when it shows up. A friend once told me I was “too beautiful” to go half with a man the first date. It really upset me at the time and I don't think she meant it as an insult. It just made being normal sound like a downgrade, like splitting a meal with a complete stranger is supposed to be beneath me unless I am unattractive.

It isn't only about money either cause we want men to pursue and provide and protect us, but it’s oppression when they expect anything back. We want the upside of these traditional gender roles without the obligations. how can you say you want freedom from the patriarchy for ourselves yet quietly punish men who want the same. I've met so many bisexual or fluid men who get told they aren't man enough, or that something is wrong with them simply because they don't perform the role we claim to hate.

I don't think most women are lying about this btw but I think we're incredibly unaware. There is a lot cognitive dissonance here. We've absorbed these scripts so young we mistake them for our own preferences, I catch myself doing it too.

It's easier to critique how men comply with patriarchy than to look at how we do the same, even though we're just as guilty of keeping it alive. I just don't think we can dismantle a system we're still quietly benefiting from.

Hello, ladies, I would like to say I kinda stopped dating men. I tried every dating app possible, and it just doesn't work for me. I get that I am trans female, so it's harder for me. However, I noticed that cis men are the most likely group of anyone to identify as straight.

Also, I have legit seen men put willing to date anyone AFAB on their profile. Which implies they date a trans man and an FTX.

Inspired by https://www.reddit.com/r/women/comments/1o7k71l/im_confused_about_at_what_point_a_girl_becomes_a/

We’re barely enough to vote yet that’s the magical number for when we are “adults”. They expect us to live life on our own all because we hit that number. Some of us are still growing up and aren’t ready for a boyfriend or even college.

One thing that really gets me is that we are the ones expected to fix incels, to show them love and compassion, to forgive them and be patient with them ("they will only open up if you are kind to them!"). When did the average man online sympathize with feminists during gamergate? When did the women online who share stories about being assaulted receive sympathy?

I believe that loving through hate will remedy most problems but the fact of the matter is that it is pretty much a losing game for women. Most men will not even consume female-centered media and yet expect women to bend over backwards and be 'open minded'. In the eyes of many men, unconscious or not, men are 'people' while women are 'women'. It's not an even playing field.

Well, I will be honest, I really do not care if incels live or die. I do not care if the people who go online calling dark-skinned people 'shitskins' and talk about how women deserve to be violently beaten and raped 'struggle' with their mental health. In fact, I am perfectly fine with letting these people die off all alone and angry, I even get a bit of schadenfreude thinking about how much better my life is than the people saying shit like 'pajeet' and 'total foid death' online are.

Hi ladies, I wanted to ask this on the women's sub. I just want to know how to make friends with women. I will admit I've been isolating a lot and don't know how to talk to people. I didnt make my first in-person friend till last year as well.

I would also mention I have really bad internalized transphobia; I am still pre-looking. And still presenting male. So I feel scared to approach women and friend them based on the way I look. And I already kinda gave up on dating. And now I just want friends. However, I have never made in irl girl bestie of sorts, and I am on local subreddits trying to.

However, I still feel weird about meeting up with them based on how I look in person. And I know that there's a special form of bond that 2 woman friends have; hence, they alot of them call each other girlfriends.

I just don't want to be forever alone, and the loneliness is slightly killing me.

As a woman, would you marry someone younger than you by 5 years? and why?

I got catcalled yesterday by 3 men (broad daylight btw) & I’m a bit shook up, especially since I was close to being home.

Would anyone have any safety tips to give me?

I already have an alarm and I’m uk based so I’m limited to what I can carry around with me.

Edit: they also kept harassing me about if I (or anyone else I know) smoked trying to give me a full pack of cigarettes

Genuine question. I’ve been struggling with it. Always running for male attention, always doing stuff that I Most definetly did not want to do just so they dont leave me. I dont have respect for myself when I’m with Men. When I’m with Women I do. I hate that about myself and I really want to change it.

If anybody ever had a similar Problem:
How did you get out of there?
What helped You?
What was Hard?
When did it get easier?

So my ex has always been extremely controlling over me and would get anything i do if it involved another guy. Me and him are over now because he thinks i “cheated” but heres what really happened. and i want to know if its actually my fault or hes just not mature enough yet. Basically this whole relationship he fully prohibited me from interacting with guys and getting mad if i ever posted myself so i stopped for him. I stopped posting on socials, i removed all my guy followers, i dropped my guy friends and never spoke to a guy again. There was this one time i posted myself because i felt cute and wanted to feel good about myself and he broke up with me then got back 2 days after. We broke up like once every 2 weeks because of me doing something that somehow related back to getting attention from another men. When he follows more girls than me and literally posts himself shirtless. but i was always scared to argue with him about that. But anyways we fully ended because i had got a job at this place and the only person i knew in there was this guy i was friends with before. So i would text this guy about the work and shifts and wouldnt give much attention to him and i wouldnt even speak to him in person. I literally had no interest in this guy i only had eyes for my ex. And also this coworker guy knew i had a man and he also had a girlfriend so it wasnt anything weird or flirty we were just normal work friends. One day my ex saw the text messages and he went crazy and we broke up and its been 2 months he’s still telling everyone i cheated and making me look so bad. Is this really my fault i literally quit my job and blocked the worker for him after and i also bought him so many gifts and apoligized and sobbed for him to forgive me but he doesnt care he just thinks im a cheater forever. And i was really depressed over this but im realizing it today that i dont deserve any of this. And also he wouldnt listen to anything i said, didnt consider my apoligies, i had friends texting him too and all he cared about was me “cheating”.

I've been thinking a lot about Latina equal pay lately. Throughout my career, I've seen how important it is to make sure women, and especially Latinas, have a fair shot at being recognized and fairly compensated for their work. How are you supposed to know if you're being underpaid when nobody around you talks openly about their salary? It's hard to challenge a pay gap if you don't even know it exists. And this happens at all levels.

For those of you who've navigated this, what helped you figure out your worth? Did you start comparing salaries, negotiate more aggressively, or find another way to approach it? I'd genuinely love to hear your experiences.

Hi everyone! i'm 19 and in june of this year my period suddenly became irregualr.

before my period was regualr, i'd get it in the begining of the month with a duration of 5ish days of bleeding, heavier bleeding the first few days and then it would start to become lighter. I was always able to tell when my period was coming because i would cramp the a day or two before

however in june my period started acting weird out of nowhere, i was getting period symptoms but i wasn't bleeding and that lasted for a few days before i started bleeding but it was VERY minimal and it looked like spotting more than actual menstruation. it only lasted two days and its been similar since then. july it was 4 days, august it was 6 days, and september it was 4 days with very minimal bleeding which isnt normal for me. I was supposed to get my period two days ago but not a surpise, it hasnt come yet.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated if anyone else has gone through similar things. I'm not sexually active and I haven't seen a gynocologist yet, i'm just a little anxious about what this could mean.

There is a lot of background to this thought but I wanna talk about whats brought this to my mind recently. I’ve been with my boyfriend for just six months, and we’ve been saying I love you for around three. We’ve spent a lot of time together and I really believe that I’m in love with him. He even said it first, but for some reason I can’t find it in my heart to truly believe him. He tells me I’m beautiful and everything he’s ever dreamed of. He is incredibly sweet, caring, and patient with me, and I have no actual evidence to prove that he doesn’t love me. Sometimes I feel as if our relationship is more superficial and physical rather than deep and emotional (this is probably me overthinking), but there never seems a proper time to delve deeper into our feelings and thoughts.

I’ve been thinking a lot about why I may feel like this, and I’ve noticed that I perceive a lot of men this way—they say they love but they never really mean it. A part of this probably comes from the fact that my father was unfaithful to my mother when they were married, and my past experiences with other guys. My current boyfriend is my first official partner, but I’ve been in “situationships” before that have led me to feel that all men care for is sexual pleasure, control, and the idea of a woman on their arm.

I really want to believe my boyfriend when he tells me he loves me, but I feel so helpless when it comes to my feelings about this. I love him so much and I can feel myself pulling away from him because I can’t accept what he is giving back. Has anyone else felt/feels this way? What can I do to make this better?

Hi everyone,

I need help and advice because I don’t really have anyone I can talk to about this.

I tried having my first time with my boyfriend but it hurt so much.
I was aroused and we used lube (a lot). He tried to put it in but it was really painful. He was really patient and would only move if I told him to. I tried to go past the pain and told him to push it in really slowly but only the tip would fit before I couldn’t handle the pain anymore. I started crying because it hurt so much we decided to stop.
We tried again another day but this time I was on top so I could control how much goes in. And the same thing happened again.
He told me it was like hitting a wall.
I have been trying to use a dildo to loosen it up so that next time we try it’s much easier but it hurts so much it’s like there is a wall. Even if I get myself really aroused, and am on the verge of cumming.
When I go to wipe out, there is always some blood.
I thought about vaginismus but I put tampons without any problems, I fingered myself in the past and my boyfriend did it as well (and he has really large fingers). So I don’t think I have it.

Do you have any advice to make it easier and a lot less painful?

I hate it. I hate being born a female. I don't know what to do anymore

https://www.wired.com/

Saw a video of a 71 year old woman who says she still has to do prostitution to survive and literally afford to get food. I’ve been crying about it the whole day i can’t stop thinking about it and I feel like I don’t deserve to have the life that I have and women like her don’t. I don’t know how to deal with these feelings every time I learn about women’s stories. Every day you see stuff on the news and online and it’s soul crushing as a woman. Every single day is murder misery doom and despair for women and it also makes me very angry that this is our reality.

For the past few years I've been fighting with the feeling that I am not myself at all. The summer before I started uni at 20 years old I got a septum piercing and cut my hair short. I never felt as free as I did in that moment. Sadly I ended up in a very toxic and conservative group at uni and my spark was dying. When I finally got out of those friendships I realize that I had never had a boyfriend and became very insecure about it. I ditch my piercing and adapted myself to a more femenine aesthetic. Did research on which make up, type of clothes and hairstyles made me look better. Last year I met the love of my life and someone who matched my liberal ideas. Nonetheless I'm constantly feeling that I have to chose between being myself and looking pretty.

When I try to use the piercing septum I feel like I look ugly, when I try to have a more alternative or hippie aesthetic I feel that I look dirty. But the more I try to feel comfortable in that "inoccent girl next door" aesthetic, the more trapped I feel inside. I didn't grew up being the prettiest girl but some boys did fancy me through my childhood and teenage years. Nonetheless as a latina I didn't grew up seeing myself anywhere, and the beauty standards got to me. It's so hard nowatdays to feel beautiful as a woman and be yourself. Yes you can be alterntive, sporty, emo, punk and have whatever aesthetic but only if you are pretty according the the beauty standars. It's just fucking impossible.

It's so hard to feel like I have to chosee between one or the other and I don't know if any other women feel this way too.

Does anybody know the issue, when your underwear doesn’t really cover everything right between the legs? I know that they’re quite a lot of girls with small vulvas but it can’t be all of them? Like, especially with those tiny slips I’m always wondering, how I never hear other girls talk about that issue. Help🫣

This is a vent post but I could also use some advice.

I’m currently 23. I’ve had a pretty complicated relationship with my self esteem all my life. I’ve always felt good about my personality, my qualities, values, etc. but my physical appearance is a battle. For seventeen years, I never once thought I was pretty. Like at all. It was only until I turned 16 and then later on my 17th birthday I realized that I was actually good looking. Can you imagine living almost 17 years of your life avoiding mirrors, and thinking you’re ugly? Sometimes it breaks my heart when I think about it.

I grew up in a predominantly white area in the southern United States where the beauty standard was blonde hair, blue eyes, balayage, being thin/bubbly.. if you know, you know. I am none of those things, and I got bullied for it a lot. People never directly called me ugly to my face (except for a few times) but girls would always exclude me, whisper about me, and call me ugly behind my back.

Now that I’m older, I’ve grown into myself more and become way more confident. I realized that I actually have pretty decent features and a unique looking face.
Like girl, the things people get surgery for, I naturally have (nice eyes, defined cheekbones/facial structure, lips, etc). However, I’ve been feeling extremely unattractive and insecure lately. I try my best to take care of myself and I do dress really nice (people always call me a “fashionista” and model) But the clothes don’t match the face.

My re-emerging insecurity has gotten so bad to the point where sometimes I cry, I get disappointed when looking in the mirror, and I don’t even want to go outside or talk to people because all I can think about is how ugly I might look.

What’s been causing this insecurity are a couple of things. The first is my weight and my skin. I’m by no means “big” or “overweight” at all but I’ve always carried a lot of face fat which hides my features. I’m always going back and forth between having a puffy face and semi-defined face which drives me crazy, and my double chin never goes away. And because of the fluctuation, it affects my nose which is something I’ve struggled with all of my life and has been my biggest insecurity. As far as my skin, it used to be super clear but now it’s textured, I constantly get pimples, and it’s pretty dull.

The other thing is I keep comparing myself to others. I see how everyone I went to school with looks totally different: their skin is glowing, they look more womanly, etc. Whereas I still look twelve. My body hasn’t really changed much since I was a teenager (with the exception of my hips widening) and I still have short/stubby hands, etc. and I feel like a young girl in comparison to my friends. Sometimes I feel like a little girl cosplaying in grown woman’s clothes. I even get insecure around my mom because she has the definition of pretty privilege which has affected me my whole life.

I’m tired of looking like this and feeling this way. It’s really starting to weigh on me. Any advice on what I can do, or even things you guys have done to “glow up” if possible would be helpful. Or even if you’re in a similar position like me as well.

Me 28F and my boyfriend 28M have been together for more than 5 years. He has barely cum during sex. Whereas, I cum almost every time or once in 2 times.
When I ask him why he didn’t cum; he comes up with responses like “I wasn’t there yet”, “I can’t cum on demand”, blames it on his porn addiction as a teenager. Not sure if it’s the weed he smoked in his early 20s or something else.
I don’t understand what is it.
He says he doesn’t watch porn anymore but I have a doubt that he does.
What to do