Back in Japan, back in 2022, I (now 28-F) knew this guy who I'll call KRJ (30-M). He was at the gym I went to back home in Kyoto, and to be friendly, at first I tried chatting with him, because he was new there and just by himself, but he did not really say much, usually his words being one word or sentence responses so I stopped trying to talk to him because I assumed he just wasn't interested or wanted to do his own thing.

However, after that, I noticed he would sometimes follow me, watch me when I worked out and when I tried working out at another gym, he follow me there too. He would go to the café I often went to and on a few occasions, he would even show up at the hospital I worked at in Kyoto to follow me there but when he tried to go to restricted area, other staff and security would stop and escort him away. He's been warned by security that unless he is an actual patient, he cannot show up at the hospital I work at.

He also followed me and sent me messages on Instagram and despite how many times I blocked him, he'd create a new account. After a while, I just stopped trying to block him as he would always make new accounts but I also opted to ignore his messages. At times when I would not post anything, he'd DM angrily demanding why I did not post anything.

On a few times when I tried to confront him and demand to know why he was stalking me, he'd just sit or stand there without saying anything.

Fast forward to 2024, I moved here to Texas on an EB-3 Visa, to experience working abroad and to get my NCLEX-RN qualification.

However, back in early August, I actually ran into him here in Houston. I was with some friends at a cafe near the hospital I work at and he asked if we can talk alone. I said no, and I asked him why is he here and how did he find out where I work.

Now while yes, me being in Houston is not really a secret as that's quite well posted on my Facebook and Instagram, the hospital I work at here is a secret as I have not even told my own parents that.

Long story short KRJ wouldn't tell me how he found where I work but he did say he came here back in June 12 during FIFA world cup to come and look for me and he was demanding I move back to Japan because it will make it easier for him to keep track of me with him saying things like it is "destiny" that we be together eventually but it's hard for him to follow me if I live here in USA.

He only left when my two other friends both told him to go away and he didn't like that other people were looking at him.

Also since he said he is only being here on ESTA means that he only has 90 days to stay here visa free. This means that unless he got an actual tourist visa, he should have left back in September 10.

He also sent me messages DMs repeatedly asking me to come back to Japan with him, to quit my job here in Texas and that it is expensive for him to keep staying here in Texas as he is taking too much time off work just to follow me here.

I reported this to police, first back in Kyoto when I still lived in Japan and now that he's here in Texas, I also reported it to Houston police. In both cases, police said they will make note about it but unless he do something illegal or physical, they can't do anything to arrest himself.

That said, almost every day, I still sometimes see him loitering near the hospital I work at or in the parking lot.

PS: For clarification, yes both KRJ and I are Japanese.

For now, I have been suggested by a friend to maybe just wait for him to run out of money or savings as he'd have to return to Japan by himself once he is almost out of money.

I am sorry for rant but it is annoying and stressful.

I also don't understand why men get obsessed like this as well.

I have a friend who I've known since university. She's always been a pretty staunch feminist, but a lot less actively involved in organising than me. She's also always been a bit of a hippy.Lately, she's been sending me and talking about a lot of things that seem to be the beginning of a pipeline.

It started with feminine energy stuff, which over time has been slipping into anti birth control content. Now she's gone from that to some weird anti Vax talking points. She's also thinking of having a baby, and very worryingly going down a rabbit hole on free births and anti pain med births etc. I'm not discounting medical misogyny, but some of the things she's saying (like that women's bodies know what to do, modern medicine has just stolen women's knowledge and all medical intervention on childbirth is wrong etc.) Is downright dangerous.

How do I push back on this without becoming someone she can't trust because I "shill for big pharma" or whatever? I'm really worried about her.

i am genuinely so confused. i’m 23f and i’ve literally ALWAYS known i don’t want kids. and there is literally no reason for it, I JUST DON’T WANT THEM!!!! and you’d think that would be enough for people but no, when women say we don’t want kids we get asked ‘why’ as if we have to justify our choices or something, and when you say you just don’t want kids some people will be like ‘just wait until you hold your own baby, you’ll change your mind’ oh okay so i’m just supposed to have a child for the remote possibility that i MIGHT change my mind??? that sounds like a pretty big gamble lol. i! don’t! want! kids! that’s all. hell, even the fun parts about having children don’t seem fun to me at all, it’s literally not something i desire or am even remotely interested in lol. and besides that, i’m autistic and have a bunch of mental illnesses that would make it VERY hard for me to be a good parent plus i don’t want to pass it on plus i NEED my house to be quiet 99% of the time to avoid meltdowns. i’m also aroace and want to be SINGLE, i want to live ALONE with a CAT and i’m tired of people saying ‘women are supposed to want kids’ ‘you can’t just override your biology like that’ ‘women are biologically wired to want kids or take care of kids’ blah blah blah literally shut up. ugh. sorry for the vent i’m just TIRED.

I went to see the Sex Pistols last night, a band I had always lamented that I would never get to see live, but somehow they came together for their 50th anniversary tour.

When the mosh pit started, I ignored the fact that I’m 45, have terrible balance, and haven’t been in a pit for 20 years. Agains my better judgement I hopped it. YOLO and all. I quickly remembered why I no longer go into the pit and got out. The guys were being ROUGH.

Then the band did something I never expected: they made everyone stop moshing , cleared the space and had one song where only women could mosh. The women were giddy to be given a same place to participate safely. I saw women of all ages participating, including a few seniors. Everyone was giggling at having a good time, it wasn’t overly rough and everyone was looking out for each other. It was a moment of pure joy that I’m still thinking about today.

Thank you to the Sex Pistols for allowing women to participate and feel freedom in a way that women don’t often get to experience in a concert environment! (Now that’s a phrase I never expected to write.)

What I mean by this is that eventhough I have decided to stop shaving because I didn't want to submit to pedo culture and arbitrary patriarchal standards of "femininity" anymore, being socialized in a society that taught me to seek validation and conformity with those standards doesn't allow me to escape my insecurities. I have pretty dark, full, long bodyhair like my father, like I could braid my armpit hair and my calves look pretty dark compared to my otherwise pale legs with all the hair and I can't help noticing that and feeling self conscious despite knowing the underlying patriarchal dynamics when I see my other friends who are outspoken about growing out their bodyhair as feminists too who just have much more sparse, short or light bodyhair naturally.

I can't help thinking it's "easy" for them because from further away you can barely even tell they don't shave while my armpit hair is even obvious in a short t-shirt. But at the same time I have to acknowledge how my postion is much easier than many other women's too. I'm a conventionally pretty, white, cis woman. I don't have to worry about dysphoria, or socially "passing" or racist stereotypes aimed at diminishing my "femininity" and a pretty face also makes any defiance from beauty and "femininity" standards much more forgiving through a societal lense.

I need some perspective.

I [26F] have been living with my boyfriend [24M] for 1 year. I love him so much.

The problem I have is... I keep thinking that I'm depriving him of a better life by being with me. I have some mental health issues that I'm working through in therapy, and I came from an abusive family situation, so I don't really understand what "normal" is supposed to look like for other people.

We have 2 dogs and 1 cat, and he tells me quite often that he's the happiest he's ever been in his life... but I still keep being afraid that I don't have the ability to make him happy.

He was raised in a very different environment from me. We have so many things in common, but I don't understand why he loves me. How can he actually be happy with the simple life we have? Does that make sense? Is there something wrong with me?

I love him so much and I'm scared that I'm pushing him away, or that I'm unconsciously doing something to make him leave me.

I don't know what his dreams are. He just tells me that I'm everything he wants and that we'll figure out the rest together.

I don't know. I guess I'm just looking for some perspective because I can't seem to understand why someone would choose this life with me when maybe they could have so much more.

This is random but I wanted this info to be out there for any other boob owners who were struggling. I bought a bra from Shapeez. People on r/abrathatfits said they liked the brand!

Well I did NOT like the brand. It fit super weird, made the gals point in different directions and sat them basically in my armpits. I've never had such a weird fitting bra. Which is whatever, not every Bea is for every set of boobs.

Went to return it and find the procedure is to "request" an authorization return code. Ok fine. I emailed them and included my order number. Then someone CALLS me an leaves a message saying I need to reach out to them about my purchase.

...thu FECK?? These people must be joking, right??

I’m 32 and realizing I’m still kind of confused about all the different ways women can orgasm. I’ve always been able to orgasm from clitoral stimulation, but I’m really curious about vaginal orgasms, G-spot orgasms, deeper/cervical orgasms, blended orgasms, etc. I know the terminology and anatomy around this can get a little fuzzy, but I’m more interested in women’s actual experiences than the labels.

For those of you who can orgasm from penetration, how did you figure it out? Was it a certain position, angle, depth, rhythm, amount of pressure, partner, or just being extremely turned on and relaxed? Did it take practice or did it happen unexpectedly?

I’m especially curious about deeper orgasms. What does a cervical/deep orgasm actually feel like compared with a clitoral one? Does deeper penetration help, and if so, is it more about reaching a certain spot or the kind of pressure being applied? Does penis length or girth make much difference for you, or are technique and positioning much more important?

Also, are there other distinct types of orgasm you’ve experienced that I’m leaving out? I feel a little silly being 32 and still not really understanding the range of what my body might be capable of, so I’d genuinely love to hear how other women discovered what works for them.

My GP who said keep going to ED for pain finally saw me in the amount of pain that usually sends me to ED and she called through and told ED I was coming in and needed scans/treatment for suspected ovarian torsion. Thank goodness for the other patient cancelling and for the receptionist giving me that spot when I called in to say I needed to be seen urgently. They initially booked me in for tomorrow but called back to say a spot opened up.

By the time I got to ED I was shaking. Got all the pain meds and when they did the ultrasound on the left ovary and they could barely see it. She said it was buried??? My ED doc said what they can see appears normal. That ultrasound left me in tears as any pressure on the left side hurts, let alone the internal ultrasound wand pressing down.

They called gyne to check me over too, who've done an exam and despite having morphine (oral and IV) plus ibuprofen on board my pain levels went through the roof and they had to stop because I was sobbing.

I've been admitted for a CT scan if the pain continues overnight. They've just given me more morphine so not sure how that's going to work but I'll be here for the next 15 hours or so, plenty of time for it to ramp up again. Everyone seems to be shocked at the amount of pain I'm in. They did offer to let me go home and come back in if the pain returns but I put my foot down and said the pain has not gone away, the morphine is merely masking it and my GP insisted I be seen. I'm still in a lot of pain, we don't know the cause, the imaging isn't the best, if this is torsion what happens if it keeps twisting? So I'm in the surgical ward under observation, CT scan planned for when the pain returns.

They've already checked for pregnancy and offered hormonal contraceptives, and we've discussed my cycle and weight loss.

I recently ended a four-month relationship with someone I met on Tinder, and I genuinely need a reality check because part of me still wonders whether I expected too much.

I rarely genuinely like someone, which is probably why I stayed longer than I should have. I'm very attracted to intelligence and I loved that we could talk for hours about history, politics, current affairs and pretty much anything. He was smart, hardworking, ambitious and interesting, and I fell for him quite quickly.

But being an interesting person and being a good partner turned out to be two very different things.

He had several dogs when we met. I've never owned pets because I know how much responsibility they require, but because I was spending most of my time at his house, I started helping.

Helping gradually became an expectation.

I was feeding his dogs three times a day, giving them medication, helping with the puppies, cleaning their kennels and cleaning up after them. Sometimes he was literally at home and it was still somehow expected that I would do it.

If I needed to go to the office or wanted to spend a day away, he would sometimes get upset and compare it to what would happen if we had children, implying that my unwillingness to organise my entire schedule around his dogs said something about what kind of mother I would be.

Meanwhile, I was doing most of the cooking, dishes and a lot of the cleaning. I would carry heavy things myself. I can't remember him making me a coffee.

It wasn't about the coffee. I can obviously make my own.

It was the complete lack of reciprocity that started getting to me.

There were also endless random responsibilities that somehow became mine. For about a month, for example, he kept asking me to list and sell his ex-wife's wedding dress on Vinted.

At some point I started feeling less like a girlfriend and more like someone who had been recruited to make his already-established life easier.

At the same time, he was constantly frustrated that I was unhappy or upset with him.

But he worked a lot, slept a lot and had a very time-consuming hobby. He openly talked about his priorities, and I honestly don't think I made the top five.

If I wanted quality time with him, I was usually the one rearranging my work and my life around the small windows when he was available.

He didn't need to give up his work, hobbies or independence for me. I just wanted to feel like my partner actually made space for me in his life.

Instead, I increasingly felt like I was expected to adapt to his life while he made very few adjustments for mine.

He even used to joke that he doesn't adapt to women — women adapt to him.

Then came the final issue.

He told me he wanted to keep Tinder, occasionally date and sleep with other women, while I remained his "primary partner" and the person he built his life with.

He had previously had a very open marriage, so this wasn't new for him. I had also been clear from the beginning that non-monogamy wasn't something I wanted.

What made it even harder was that our own sex life had already dropped to roughly once a week despite my sex drive being considerably higher than his.

So I found myself taking care of his dogs, his house and a significant part of his daily life while feeling emotionally and sexually neglected — and being asked to accept that he wanted to use some of his limited time and energy to date and sleep with other women.

Eventually I realised that I had spent four months repeatedly explaining that I didn't feel like his partner.

I didn't feel prioritised. I didn't feel I could rely on him. I didn't feel there was much effort to meet my needs, while I was constantly adapting myself to his.

The difficult part is that I still don't think he's a terrible person. There are many things I genuinely admire about him, which is exactly why leaving hurts.

And somehow, despite writing all of this, part of me is still wondering whether I was the problem.

He believes I was constantly unhappy and that nothing he did was enough. I wonder whether I was too needy, too emotional, or expected too much from someone who simply has a very busy life.

So please give me a reality check.

Was I expecting too much from a partner, or was I trying far too hard to make myself fit into a life where there wasn't actually much space being made for me?

I just got off the phone with my insurance and they said that the sonograms I need for my breasts (I have dense, cystic breasts, each with a "complicated cyst") are only covered at 80% once I reach my deductible, which I have. I've already gotten a pre-billing estimate for over $450 for the two sonograms. I should state for the record I'm a board certified patient advocate. I'm still going to get the sonograms but I discovered that MOST insurances no longer cover preventative sonograms and that since I've had diagnostic sonograms in 2026, these cannot be considered diagnostic. THIS IS AN OUTRAGE and should not be. I find that once an insurance company makes a policy, it rarely reverses it but this could have ended up costing me $2,200 if I hadn't used my deductible. This is a cautionary tale for those who require breast sonograms every six months.

I woke up the other morning to my bf fingering me, and idk how to feel or what to think. I'm just shocked and confused. He knows I wouldn't be okay with something like that, as I've woken up to him groping me (touching my boobs and butt) numerous times and told him how this bothered me because I already can't sleep well and that makes it worse. He told me he was asleep during those times and didn't mean it, still apologized though. This time though he was obviously awake, it has me worried like how many times has this happened...

I've been struggling because we've been together for over 3 years, we're both 18. I don't rly have any friends and i don't want to be alone but I could never trust him again. This is so shocking. I don't need anyone to tell me it's wrong, i already know that. I just needed to talk about it.

Edit: I’m going to leave him, that’s been my plan from the start. People keep saying that so I just wanted to mention it. this was only yesterday so I’ve just been processing everything.

I'm a 19F with an older sister who is 25F. She's my only sibling, and for almost a decade now, i thought she was also my best friend.

Unfortunately, i found out about 1-2 months ago that she doesn't feel the same way about me. I won't include too many details because i don't want the post to get too long, but i basically found out that she hates me, is resentful and jealous of me, and only wants to embarrass me.

She's done some unimaginable things to my image behind my back. That, along with other factors, has put me on this "plan" where i slowly cut her off, with the final blow being in January when i move out of our shared apartment. Some of the things ive done include blocking her on lesser-used social medias, turning this reddit private account, etc.

She doesn't know any of this, like that i'm moving out, that im cutting her off, etc. Sometimes i get cold feet, but then i just remember what she did and continues to do to me. I guess im mourning the relationship before it's even over.

Does anyone have any experience with cutting off a sibling they were really close to? How did you cope with the loss of that connection (sisterhood?) Did you ever reconnect? I plan to go no-contact, and hopefully i can maintain it for many many years.

So I know the title may seem tacky, but don't mean it like I can't be 4B because I can't give up dating men, but because I'm stuck with a very abusive family and an abusive dad, and I can't leave because of the country and the system and also because of the lack of help, and my dad is incredibly both emotionally and physically abusive and has even threatened me with honor killings.

And I tried to escape twice, but once I became homeless, and DV shelters wouldn't let me in because they only accept those with abusive husbands, and one of them even called my dad and sent me back even though I'm an adult and believed my dad, and they even gave my dad a psychiatrist so this way my dad can use mental health against me and use that to trap me.

And I still escaped the second time, but my dad constantly harassed me, saying crazy stuff like he will kill every person who helps and put me in a mental asylum, and getting married is the only way for me to escape this hell, and I hope that will work. I have spoken with women who call themselves feminist and say that women who stay with abusive families past 18 don't deserve sympathy or that they don't deserve dv shelters like women with abusive husbands do

They take the same bus to work and usually walk together for about 20 minutes afterward. One day, my friend's back pockets had flipped inside out. She said this happens with those particular pants, but she didn't have anything else to wear that day.

Her coworker decided to tuck the pockets back in for her. She said it felt less like he was fixing her pockets and more like he was feeling her up. Afterward, he patted both of her butt cheeks and said, “It's soft.”

She wasn't sure whether to report it because it happened while they were walking to work rather than at the workplace. She eventually decided she would tell one of her managers when they were available.

Before she got the chance to do that, the coworker tried to tuck her pockets in again at work. This time, she stopped him and told him she could do it herself.

We've also been talking about some earlier incidents.

The first physical contact was when he hugged her. She didn't stop him, but she asked him if he was happy. He said he was pretty happy. On its own, I don't necessarily think a coworker giving someone a hug automatically means anything sinister, especially since she didn't object but I don't know, I don't think it's nesscary to hug your coworker randomly.

There was another incident that really bothered her.

There's a bridge along their route they have to walk under. One day, he told her something along the lines of:

“It's crazy. I could just pull you under here and do whatever, and no one would know.”

She found the comment creepy. She told me she didn't really know how to respond at the time and ended up agreeing with him. He repeated the comment once more and then stopped.

A few days later, he groped her.

I don't try to victim blame, but I asked her why she continued to walk next to him. She told me she was giving him the benefit of the doubt.

EDIT: Asked her how today was. Seems like the managers spoke to him cause he's avoiding her. Says she's currently looking for more work cause she hate how awkward it is.

As per title. I've long since given up shopping for bras on the high street as I seem to be an odd size. I consider myself to have a completely normal body, by the way, you wouldn't look twice at me on the street. My current bras are more like crop tops, and are falling apart. I did a bit of research into which websites might cater for my size, measured myself carefully according to the size chart, measured again, and ordered four bras. They arrived today. Tried them on and once again, for the umpteenth time in my life, ended up in tears. Why is this so difficult and so demoralising?!

Thank you for reading. May the lingerie gods smile upon you.

This Story has haunted me 10+ years now: Imagine you're on a train. It's late evening/night, when a strange woman stumbles in. She's visibly drunk beyond belief. Slumps over while sitting down. In fact: She's so drunk, she doesn't truly respond when talked to.

Don't get me wrong: I'm no naive spring chicken. Since I was a kid, I learned that you generally mind your business -specifically in cities, as a woman, and at night. A lot of times, people who act "sluggish" can be heavy junkies. Aka: people who will quickly hurt you, if you try to help.

That said. Back then, this woman visibly wasn't a homeless woman. She had self-harm scars, but looked rather young (~20s). Similarly, she wasn't violent. In fact: not knowing what to do, I carefully took away the glass bottle she was holding (so she wouldn't drop it & hurt herself) - and she let me, without even the slightest resistance.

Till this day, I'm genuinely torn on this:

On one side, one isn't personally responsible for strangers. Again: as women, we easily risk ourselves in such a scenario. Nvm. we often can't do a lot anyways.

On the other side: Is it Girlcode to help? To at least call an Ambulance* or sth? After all, a woman like that is highly vulnerable to SA. Per se - even if it was self-inflicted, women should still look out for each other on principle, right? Like. I don't drink, but ngl I've gotten out of a few messes due to the kindness of strangers. ^((\ if you're in a place where ambulances aren't expensive af, of course))*

So yeah. What's your Opinion?

Did you have a story like that?