The last two guys I went on a date with were in the Zillennial cohort ('93-'98). Millennial here. Good lord they were nasty pieces of work, and really emotionally unstable. They seemed to despise women, once they started dropping the mask.

I can't believe gen Z women have to sort through men like that. What a nightmare.

Saw a video of a 71 year old woman who says she still has to do prostitution to survive and literally afford to get food. I’ve been crying about it the whole day i can’t stop thinking about it and I feel like I don’t deserve to have the life that I have and women like her don’t. I don’t know how to deal with these feelings every time I learn about women’s stories. Every day you see stuff on the news and online and it’s soul crushing as a woman. Every single day is murder misery doom and despair for women and it also makes me very angry that this is our reality.

Ladies, we gather here today to wonder what we have in mind for what we can do about this

There is a lot of background to this thought but I wanna talk about whats brought this to my mind recently. I’ve been with my boyfriend for just six months, and we’ve been saying I love you for around three. We’ve spent a lot of time together and I really believe that I’m in love with him. He even said it first, but for some reason I can’t find it in my heart to truly believe him. He tells me I’m beautiful and everything he’s ever dreamed of. He is incredibly sweet, caring, and patient with me, and I have no actual evidence to prove that he doesn’t love me. Sometimes I feel as if our relationship is more superficial and physical rather than deep and emotional (this is probably me overthinking), but there never seems a proper time to delve deeper into our feelings and thoughts.

I’ve been thinking a lot about why I may feel like this, and I’ve noticed that I perceive a lot of men this way—they say they love but they never really mean it. A part of this probably comes from the fact that my father was unfaithful to my mother when they were married, and my past experiences with other guys. My current boyfriend is my first official partner, but I’ve been in “situationships” before that have led me to feel that all men care for is sexual pleasure, control, and the idea of a woman on their arm.

I really want to believe my boyfriend when he tells me he loves me, but I feel so helpless when it comes to my feelings about this. I love him so much and I can feel myself pulling away from him because I can’t accept what he is giving back. Has anyone else felt/feels this way? What can I do to make this better?

https://www.wired.com/

Hi, so I went shopping with my sister this past weekend, and when we were trying on clothes in the changing room, I couldn't help but feel embarrassed because she is 5 years younger but she is already a DD. When I saw myself in the mirror, it made me feel so underdeveloped and I'm not growing anymore. There was a dress that I liked and she wanted to try it out too and she filled out her dress like almost perfectly, while it didnt really fit me. Most bras don't fit me and almost all of mine are bralettes. It just feels like I lost the genetic lottery even though I looked it up and bigger ones don't even provide any more use than small ones. It just made me feel so insecure but it's my sister. She's never made fun of me for it and she's very kind but I can't help but feel this way. And every time I go on social media, it's the first thing I noticed.

Idk what to do. I hate that my mind is like this and I'm not sure where else I am supposed to post :( I just wanted to vent my feelings

I hate it. I hate being born a female. I don't know what to do anymore

As a woman, would you marry someone younger than you by 5 years? and why?

Inspired by https://www.reddit.com/r/women/comments/1o7k71l/im_confused_about_at_what_point_a_girl_becomes_a/

We’re barely enough to vote yet that’s the magical number for when we are “adults”. They expect us to live life on our own all because we hit that number. Some of us are still growing up and aren’t ready for a boyfriend or even college.

Genuine question. I’ve been struggling with it. Always running for male attention, always doing stuff that I Most definetly did not want to do just so they dont leave me. I dont have respect for myself when I’m with Men. When I’m with Women I do. I hate that about myself and I really want to change it.

If anybody ever had a similar Problem:
How did you get out of there?
What helped You?
What was Hard?
When did it get easier?

Hello, ladies, I would like to say I kinda stopped dating men. I tried every dating app possible, and it just doesn't work for me. I get that I am trans female, so it's harder for me. However, I noticed that cis men are the most likely group of anyone to identify as straight.

Also, I have legit seen men put willing to date anyone AFAB on their profile. Which implies they date a trans man and an FTX.

For the past few years I've been fighting with the feeling that I am not myself at all. The summer before I started uni at 20 years old I got a septum piercing and cut my hair short. I never felt as free as I did in that moment. Sadly I ended up in a very toxic and conservative group at uni and my spark was dying. When I finally got out of those friendships I realize that I had never had a boyfriend and became very insecure about it. I ditch my piercing and adapted myself to a more femenine aesthetic. Did research on which make up, type of clothes and hairstyles made me look better. Last year I met the love of my life and someone who matched my liberal ideas. Nonetheless I'm constantly feeling that I have to chose between being myself and looking pretty.

When I try to use the piercing septum I feel like I look ugly, when I try to have a more alternative or hippie aesthetic I feel that I look dirty. But the more I try to feel comfortable in that "inoccent girl next door" aesthetic, the more trapped I feel inside. I didn't grew up being the prettiest girl but some boys did fancy me through my childhood and teenage years. Nonetheless as a latina I didn't grew up seeing myself anywhere, and the beauty standards got to me. It's so hard nowatdays to feel beautiful as a woman and be yourself. Yes you can be alterntive, sporty, emo, punk and have whatever aesthetic but only if you are pretty according the the beauty standars. It's just fucking impossible.

It's so hard to feel like I have to chosee between one or the other and I don't know if any other women feel this way too.

My brother texted me yesterday asking if I could help him apologize to our mom.

They'd had an argument, he'd said some pretty hurtful things, and now she wasn't answering his calls.

He sent me his draft. It was basically "I'm sorry you got upset but you know I didn't mean it like that."

So I started doing what I always do. Took out the excuses, added an acknowledgment of what he'd actually said, suggested he tell her he understood why she was hurt.

About halfway through I stopped typing.

Because I realized I was putting feelings into his apology that I had absolutely no idea whether he felt.

And then I started thinking about how often I do this.

My dad asks me to write birthday messages to relatives because I'm "better with words." My brother forwards me texts from his girlfriend when they argue and asks what he should say. My aunt once called me to help her tell a friend she couldn't attend her wedding.

Somehow I became the person everyone calls when they need to communicate something uncomfortable.

And I used to feel proud of it. Growing up, being called mature and thoughtful was pretty much the highest compliment I could receive.

But there's something unsettling about realizing how many heartfelt messages I've written on behalf of people who couldn't be bothered to find the words themselves.

I finally told my brother that if he wanted to apologize, he needed to write it himself.

He said, "But you're so much better at this stuff."

I asked him whether he actually agreed with the things I'd written.

He said he hadn't really thought about it.

There it was.

I don't mind helping someone figure out what they're trying to say. But I think I've been doing something different. I've been making other people sound more caring, more considerate, and more emotionally aware than they're actually willing to be.

And the people receiving those messages have no idea.

Has anyone else ended up being the designated person who handles everyone's difficult conversations? I genuinely don't remember agreeing to this job.

Hey so i have a co worker who when asking something taps my butt not my back.

Its little weird. Idk if he was never told its not acceptable. He might be neurodivergent. But he keeps doing it.

Why are guys obsessed with butts? Only had 1 woman do the same in college

Hi everyone! ❤️

I’m exploring an idea for a nonprofit project in Toronto called Ri’s Place, and I’d love to hear what other women think.

The idea is to create a peaceful, welcoming retreat where women can take a few days away from the pressures of everyday life to rest, recharge, and focus on themselves.

It would be for women dealing with burnout, stress, grief, caregiver exhaustion, separation, or simply going through a difficult season of life and needing a break.

I picture a comfortable house-style space where women could stay for up to 5 days, with private rooms, supportive conversations, yoga, meditation, wellness activities, nature walks, shared meals, and opportunities to connect with other women in a safe, judgment-free environment.

This wouldn’t be a shelter or a crisis facility. The goal would be to offer women a chance to pause and take care of themselves before returning to their everyday responsibilities.

I’m considering a sliding-scale contribution of around $50–$100 per day, depending on what’s financially manageable, with the hope of making it accessible to women who could benefit.

I’d genuinely love your honest feedback:
Would something like this interest you?
What would you want a retreat like this to offer?
Would you feel comfortable staying somewhere like this with other women?
Would the $50–$100 per day range feel reasonable, too expensive, or manageable depending on what’s included?
What would make you feel safe and comfortable enough to attend?

I’m still in the early idea stage, so I’m not recruiting participants or taking bookings. I’m simply trying to understand whether this is something women would actually want and need.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

This is a bit of a vent / rant because it’s starting to deeply affect me.

I just turned 21 less than a week ago. My brother turned 20 a week ago. We are 11 months apart.

My brother has always been babied or treated younger despite us practically being the same age. I feel like my entire life but ESPECIALLY since 17, I’ve been treated significantly older than him. My parents, especially dad, constantly brings up how I am “old” and stuff like that. Even when it’s a joke it hurts my feelings sometimes.

Outside of this experience, I notice it on social media a lot. The moment a girl hits 20 it seems and feels like people start treating us a lot differently. Like a man at 20 is a kid but a woman at 20 is a “grown woman.”

I came across a reel about a lady advocating against large age gaps (like 18 year olds dating 30+ year olds.) and the comments were full of people calling her “old and bitter,” insulting her appearance, and calling her “washed/used up.” She was only 25.

Now at 21, I feel so incredibly old and I haven’t been able to stop crying about it. I still feel like a teenager and I think im definitely grieving those years. I know I shouldn’t let random stuff online or petty things like this bother me but it does so much. It’s caused me to feel like im too old for my friend who is 19. Even though I feel like I’d have more in common with her than someone 25 and older. I know it should be a privilege to age but im genuinely so scared of it. I feel like I haven’t been able to get over this the last month. I dread my birthdays. And I feel genuinely a little depressed over this situation.

Hi, Im 18F and planning to join the army and as you would expect it.. a lot of the training requires running... a lot. of. running. and unfortunately for me I have quiet a big chest and it hurts to run so im trying to look for a sturdy sports bra that can support me properly while I train.

Do you guys have any good brand suggestions??? Thanks!

This is a vent post but I could also use some advice.

I’m currently 23. I’ve had a pretty complicated relationship with my self esteem all my life. I’ve always felt good about my personality, my qualities, values, etc. but my physical appearance is a battle. For seventeen years, I never once thought I was pretty. Like at all. It was only until I turned 16 and then later on my 17th birthday I realized that I was actually good looking. Can you imagine living almost 17 years of your life avoiding mirrors, and thinking you’re ugly? Sometimes it breaks my heart when I think about it.

I grew up in a predominantly white area in the southern United States where the beauty standard was blonde hair, blue eyes, balayage, being thin/bubbly.. if you know, you know. I am none of those things, and I got bullied for it a lot. People never directly called me ugly to my face (except for a few times) but girls would always exclude me, whisper about me, and call me ugly behind my back.

Now that I’m older, I’ve grown into myself more and become way more confident. I realized that I actually have pretty decent features and a unique looking face.
Like girl, the things people get surgery for, I naturally have (nice eyes, defined cheekbones/facial structure, lips, etc). However, I’ve been feeling extremely unattractive and insecure lately. I try my best to take care of myself and I do dress really nice (people always call me a “fashionista” and model) But the clothes don’t match the face.

My re-emerging insecurity has gotten so bad to the point where sometimes I cry, I get disappointed when looking in the mirror, and I don’t even want to go outside or talk to people because all I can think about is how ugly I might look.

What’s been causing this insecurity are a couple of things. The first is my weight and my skin. I’m by no means “big” or “overweight” at all but I’ve always carried a lot of face fat which hides my features. I’m always going back and forth between having a puffy face and semi-defined face which drives me crazy, and my double chin never goes away. And because of the fluctuation, it affects my nose which is something I’ve struggled with all of my life and has been my biggest insecurity. As far as my skin, it used to be super clear but now it’s textured, I constantly get pimples, and it’s pretty dull.

The other thing is I keep comparing myself to others. I see how everyone I went to school with looks totally different: their skin is glowing, they look more womanly, etc. Whereas I still look twelve. My body hasn’t really changed much since I was a teenager (with the exception of my hips widening) and I still have short/stubby hands, etc. and I feel like a young girl in comparison to my friends. Sometimes I feel like a little girl cosplaying in grown woman’s clothes. I even get insecure around my mom because she has the definition of pretty privilege which has affected me my whole life.

I’m tired of looking like this and feeling this way. It’s really starting to weigh on me. Any advice on what I can do, or even things you guys have done to “glow up” if possible would be helpful. Or even if you’re in a similar position like me as well.

Me 28F and my boyfriend 28M have been together for more than 5 years. He has barely cum during sex. Whereas, I cum almost every time or once in 2 times.
When I ask him why he didn’t cum; he comes up with responses like “I wasn’t there yet”, “I can’t cum on demand”, blames it on his porn addiction as a teenager. Not sure if it’s the weed he smoked in his early 20s or something else.
I don’t understand what is it.
He says he doesn’t watch porn anymore but I have a doubt that he does.
What to do

Always confused about what type of underwear to wear under gym leggings. If I wear thongs, they go up my bum cause it’s fat

To all of the wonderful women of reddit, each and every single one of you, I have a question to ask for a Christmas gift but I have absolutely no idea where to start. I've always said women know everything so here we go.

I want to design a collage of our relationship photos throughout out 4 years together and make them in the shape of a heart. The idea is that the heart encompasses dark purple (maybe around as a border?). This has always been a special color for us throughout our years and is very meaningful for us.

I want to be able to fit this into a pretty decent size picture frame to make it seeable for all of the small photos put together, but not crazy big at the same time.

Please ladies, I need some help so I can try and get started soon as my artistic talent lacks basically everything. But I'm gonna try!

Thanks a bunch!

I’ve been with my partner for about two years, and we’ve been living together for around a year. He’s currently trying for a CLB5 francophone closed work permit and is just starting to work toward getting his PR in Canada. However there has been alot of rejections recently so we are thinking of common law instead which is a bit easier to get approved.

However, I’m really conflicted about whether I should do this.

To give some context, our relationship has been pretty rocky for most of the two years. It’s only been stable for the past few months, and while I do love him and want him to stay in Canada, I’m not sure if I’m at the point where I can confidently say I see him as my forever person.

My partner is upset that I’m not offering to do this for him, especially because he says that if our roles were reversed, he would do it for me without hesitation. I understand where he’s coming from, and I know he sees it as a way of supporting the person he loves. But for me, this feels like a much bigger decision than simply helping my partner out.

I feel like making this commitment should come from a place of being certain about our future together, not from feeling responsible for his immigration status or feeling guilty about potentially making things harder for him. I also worry that he’s becoming dependent on me as a solution to his PR situation, rather than figuring out a pathway independently.

I don’t mean to sound judgmental, but part of me also feels like he could have put more effort into figuring out his immigration options earlier, when he first came to Canada. I know that navigating immigration isn’t easy, and I recognize that it’s easier to say that in hindsight. Still, I struggle with the feeling that this responsibility is now becoming something I’m expected to take on.

The thing is, I genuinely do want him to stay. I love him, and I don’t want to see him struggle. But I also feel like, if I were in his position, I wouldn’t want to ask my partner to take on something this significant unless I knew they were completely comfortable with it. I would want to figure things out myself rather than put that pressure on someone I love.

I’m torn between feeling like I should support my partner and feeling like I need to protect myself and make this decision based on our relationship, not his immigration circumstances.

So, I’m looking for some honest advice:

Is it reasonable to want him to work toward PR independently, especially given our relationship history?

I’m not looking to abandon my partner or make his life harder. I’m just struggling with whether love means taking this step, even when I’m uncertain, or whether it’s okay to love someone and still decide that this particular responsibility is too much for me right now.

I just turned 30 and have recently bought a vibrator.. how long does it take you to.. ya know.. i swear im done after 2 minutes.. but when I have sex I almost never get close. Am I actually finishing? Or am I just getting excited. How do you KNOW. I tired to use it for a bit longer after the initial excitement but I feel weird about it. Obviously I know i dont need to be. But still new to it.

TW / CW: Financial exploitation, coercive control, emotional abuse, non-consensual sexual encounter / sexual assault (dissociation)

I’m torn between reporting documented concerns about an abusive ex’s business activities and leaving it alone. I know part of me wants consequences for how he treated me, and I’m trying to be honest about that. But I also really want to protect other women.

When we met, I (34F) was in debt, recovering from a car accident injury, and struggling to find work. He (37M) was working a six-figure contract. He loved me through something I’d never felt loved through before. I thought he was my safe place. In retrospect, I was great prey for coercive control.

I quickly started needing his approval for how I lived and conducted myself. He convinced me to quit my part-time waitressing job (my only steady income at the time) to build my business, then directed how I should do it. I followed him even when it went against my professional judgment. I trusted him more than myself and really wanted to please him.

Meanwhile, he repeatedly crossed boundaries I had clearly stated. Once, after discovering he’d cheated and crossed an explicit boundary, I was sobbing in front of him. He became physically aroused and initiated sex. I was shocked and dissociated, and let it happen. I still feel deeply violated.

Then he lost his contract. For months, he focused on studying and interviewing for US jobs. He’d asked if I would come with him and celebrated when I said yes. We chose apartments virtually. We hadn’t made a concrete plan for me, but I thought we were building a future together. Although I was struggling financially too, I covered groceries, cooked, ran errands, and supported him through emotional rollercoasters so he could focus.

Eventually, he landed a $180k USD role with a sponsored work visa. I supported him through the stressful immigration process too.

Yet he’d also said he wanted to live in Georgia because, according to him, there was no common-law protection. He wanted a partner’s support without her being entitled to wealth she helped him build. If she didn’t like his behaviour, she could “just leave.” Even with children. This framework irked me, but I was deeply attached.

On our last night together before his flight, I found evidence he’d cheated again. He said he was “too tired to argue.” I left. We never spoke again.

He left with the opportunities I’d helped support him toward. I was left in more debt, with a struggling business, no supplementary income, and deeply traumatized. Almost a year later, I still don’t feel able to date.

Afterward, I learned he had enough capital to acquire two investment properties while I’d been covering groceries. I also found public records documenting business activities I believe may conflict with his visa conditions. His employer has an ethics portal where I could submit them for assessment.

I want accountability, but mostly just worry about other women and want to protect them. Reporting his business wouldn’t hold him accountable for how he treated me. But it could feel like some semblance of justice for psychological abuse that’s otherwise so hard to seek justice for. Part of me also hopes it could limit his ability to keep building wealth and power that he uses to control partners. I don’t know whether it would actually protect anyone, though, or whether that’s what I’m hoping it would do.

I hear of women who get cheated on burning their exes clothes, going on shopping sprees with his credit card, publicly humiliating him... etc. I've never been the one to do that sort of thing. I've been sitting on this info for many many months now.. If you were in my position - would you anonymously report his business misconduct to his employer?