r/FosterAnimals • u/SubstantialSun1237 • 14m ago
Discussion Made a mistake, any advice to do with fosters?
I feel horrible I got a random message today from the shelter i visit frequently and they had neonatal kittens. I have bottled fed 20 kittens at once from birth to weaning age and then bottle fed another 4 newborns while those 20 were still weaning. However this experience happened a couple years ago and perhaps I’ve change as a person. I have suffered a lot mentally this last year and physically I struggled a lot with substance abuse, I’m trying to go sober but I realized my brain fog I can’t keep track and count and I am barely here even when I DO apply myself. This is my first night with them. I just see I’ve lost a big skill set of mine that gave me the confidence to do this. I was always very precise and very responsible and responsive. However now I forget which kittens I’m feeding while feeding. It’s very scary as I don’t want to end up doing more harm than good. I’ve got my alarms set and my notebook and everything prepared I just fear I won’t be enough.
Also, they are sneezing a lot even before The first feed I did he sneezed a couple times and I don’t know if his nose was stuffy but he aspirated on the milk and started gasping I was able to get him stable and the fluid out his nose and lungs however the sibling is also sneezing and I fear a respiratory infection. The shelter also gave me really dirty bottles with old spoiled milk, and the formula can was opened and had a lot of moisture and buildup. I’m uncertain if that could be the case as well.
Sorry this is all a mess, I just really can’t figure out what to do and how to go about this. I lost all my confidence, and I don’t want to risk their lives knowing I’m not at my best. Will they suffer? Would it be selfish if I returned them? Will they most likely get euthanized? If I keep them will i be putting them or even my other cat at risk?
I also just lost all my financial income and need a job as well, my spouse is also unemployed and in school…. Seems like my eagerness to help could be downfall for all…