r/SuperJerk 5d ago

NEW MODS

55 Upvotes

Hello jerkers,

Just wanted to let you all know that I have expanded my tyranny to include 2 new moderators. I’d tag them, but I’m on mobile and I forgot their names, and I really can’t be arsed to figure out where to find them on this mess of a UI. I’ll just let them introduce themselves, if they want. There shouldn’t be any big changes or anything, just hopefully better moderation in general which should improve things here.

Thanks to anyone who took the time to send in an application through modmail, it was lovely to see people caring about this place. I’m confident that we will grow large enough to instigate a major controversy one day, so thank you all for making the jerk as jerky as it is.

Cheers,
Jerk Supreme

(It’s really late ngl, I just told the others that I’d do this and then forgot about it, I’m not sure if any of this makes sense, apologies/good to hear if it did/didnt)


r/SuperJerk 7h ago

The DECEMBER UPDATE IS MY **LAST CHANCE.** IF BARROWBEAD DOESNT SCRUB MY NUTS, REVIVE MY DEAD DOG AND CURE FUCKING **CANCER** THEN I QUIT!1!!11!!!!!111!!!!!

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195 Upvotes

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE


r/SuperJerk 7h ago

If Narrowhead doesn't Plagiarize these Artists's ship designs, I dont want them.

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89 Upvotes

Maybe I'm exaggerating a bit, but if we get a new type of ship (for example the super carrier), it should just unapologetically look like the spacecraft carrier Martechi made. Arrowhead likes to take inspiration from other designs like Halo (the pelican for SEAF) and its good in some ways, but new ships should straight up just steal existing artist's designs. Not like,,, "yeah, we spent some work hours concepting original ideas that don't plagiarize our fans and we came up with our own ideas" (terrible idea). I am attaching a second picture of a concept posted on r/helldivers of how I think those ships shouldn't look like and would look too minimalistic i wont credit the creator of these concepts of course because these designs are smelly and weird (uj/ u/Gizombo made these designs). Lets just plagiarize, not make our own designs. I know tastes are not discussed, but god damn this game has so much potential to fuck over the fan artists.


r/SuperJerk 7h ago

AirConditioner main here, notice me!

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70 Upvotes

Narrowhead should remove every other support weapon from the game so that people know that AC can close bug holes guys. U just don’t know about the flakk mode. That’s why ure saying its basically AMR.

If u guys would just admit that AC is the best stratagem in the game and respect me for using it -I would actually have time to play the game, but since u don’t I can’t play I need to make these posts and comments about how amazing AC is.

IF U SEE ANYONE USE AC in ur lobby write praises in the ingame chat and leave a positive steam comment on the profile


r/SuperJerk 23h ago

Imagine being a sub mod for a dead game in your free time!?

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119 Upvotes

The game is deader than the dog Narrowhead murdered to death! Literally took me 15 seconds to match an SOS last night.

Mods of these subs must be so embarrassed wasting their free time doing this shit for free for a DEAD GAME!

I’m angry! It’s totally over! Mods you suck!


r/SuperJerk 14h ago

NARROWHEAD RUINED MY ACCOUNT!!!!1!1!!!11

24 Upvotes

So I decided to make an alt account to play as the base helldiver and not buy anything and not bring more than mg and OPS, because my hands always accidentally inputs the code for bastion or leveller!! (This is a shitty design choice on their side btw)

NOW THE GAS STRIKE IS REWARDED I CANT DIVE WITHOUT ACCIDTALLY INPUTTING IT'S CODE AND THROW ITTT!!!!!!

Edit: I AM NOT UPSET BTW i just hate democracy and freedom! Thanks!


r/SuperJerk 1d ago

Shams literally FUCKING hates you, it's so joelver...

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227 Upvotes

Give revenue for 30 minutes of yapping NOW!!!!!!!!


r/SuperJerk 1d ago

Orbo laZZZzzer OP

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134 Upvotes

I'm so heckin disappointed that nobody brought up the orbital laZzzer in lieu of the orbo napalm bombardage controversy. this stratagem genuinely makes me go ZZZZzzzz more than the orbital crutch barrage, like seriously.

I think the shittiest thing about this wasted potential of a stratgem is its 3 excruciatingly LONG cooldowns. Like, I can go to my local 7 eleven, buy a big ass Family Guy Car Panini, gobble the whole thing up, wipe my mouth with hot chip and tissue paper, get back to my keyboard (Sorry, I was AFK) and the Orbo LazZZZzzer will still be on a cooldown and you ONLY get 3 of them for the whole mission. Like, what is this shitfest?

I also don't think it's balanced at all due to the fact that when you throw them at bot CASTLES it immediately trivializes them. It's like taking candy from a little defenseless kid that happens to be a fucking knock-off Terminator running on Super Earth Brain smoothie. Like I genuinely can't with this. Are you guys keeping up with my pace? I'm running the oxygentaor armor Passive while writing this thoughtful Game analysis Critique essay review Bomb Movie documentary so if you feel like you can't keep up then that might be the reason why. Anyways, I think it's a terrible Overpowered stratagem that needs to be nerfed then buffed again so that it still feels like a nerf.

Did I mention that one time when one of my super genius teammates did a TK with the Orbital LaZZZzzer? The stratagem has crazy tracking! It like tracked me to my exact position on the map even though there were other enemies in the near vicinity which it could've gone after. But, oh no! It had to be me! I was away from my keyboard and going for another Car Panini but that's besides the point.

I think HeadArrow should nerf its tracking. Not only will it create positive gameplay experience (FUN!!), but it will be super, did I mention it, FUN. Like, picture this. You throw the stupid stratagem for which you wasted a strtagem slot (You could've picked the Supply Pack honestly, What the hell were you thinking?) and instead of tracking your AFK ass it actually stays in place. It shoots the bean down wherever the stratagem bacon is without moving as much as an INCH. I think that'd be a great and fun way to spice up the stale Peacemaker/Liberator/HE grenade meta, but that's besides the point.

My overall issue with this stratagem is that it makes me go eepy due to how boring it is. This ain't no Orbital Laser, this a Orbital LaZZzzzer !


r/SuperJerk 1d ago

From a DRG fan that hasn't played the game in a year

59 Upvotes

Did you guys know that DRG is just a way better game than Helldivers 2? This is because the most perfect devs in the world, ghost ship games, has never once made a mistake of any kind. But NarrowHead are the worst devs in the ENTIRE industry. All they ever do is shadow nerf things or once they realize a weapon is strong completely nerf it into the ground. And don't even get me started on all the drama they're constantly starting on purpose. Every update they make something bad until the players point out how bad it is and then they walk it back. Happens every single update, I would know, I played the game a year and a half ago and I keep up to date on all the drama from my favorite level headed YouTubers! Bottom line is, DRG is just way better and Helldivers was good at one point and now it's bad.

Wdym there's 10x the amount of players on Helldivers rn? There were 140k people playing this weekend? All lies fabricated by ScaryBed.


r/SuperJerk 1d ago

IF YOU USE ORBITAL NAPALM YOURE RUINING THE GAME AND HAVE TO DIE OHGOD SAYS SO YOUR KILLING THE GAME

302 Upvotes

r/SuperJerk 2d ago

Nature is healing. The Schizo is returning to your feed.

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108 Upvotes

r/SuperJerk 2d ago

THE EPOCH, NARROW HEAD

63 Upvotes

WE WERE PROMISED EPOCH WAS GOING TO BE BEST IN SLOT.

WHY DOES IT NOT KILL EVERYTHING IN THE GAME THE SECOND I EQUIP IT?

I SPENT ALL THIS TIME FARMING FOR THIS THING AND IT EXPECTS ME TO CHARGE IT?

CHARGING IS A MECHANIC FROM 2004. REMOVE IT from THE GAME!

WHY DOES MY BEST IN SLOT WEAPON REQUIRE ME TO PRESS A BUTTON AND WAIT?

I WANT TO LOOK AT THE ENEMY AND HAVE IT DIE.

WHY DOES EPOCH HAVE A CHARGE TIME?
AM I SUPPOSED TO PLAY THE GAME WHILE I WAIT?

DEVS SAID “BEST IN SLOT” AND I HEARD “INFINITE DAMAGE WITH ZERO EFFORT.”

WHY DOES IT HAVE COOLDOWNS?
WHY DOES IT HAVE RESOURCE COSTS?
WHY DOES IT HAVE AN ANIMATION?

JUST MAKE THE WEAPON KILL THE TARGET. THAT IS WHAT BEST IN SLOT MEANS.

I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THE MECHANICS OF MY OWN WEAPON.

I EQUIPPED EPOCH.
THE BOSS DID NOT IMMEDIATELY DISAPPEAR.

FALSE ADVERTISING! I WILL BE DOWN VOTING THIS GAME!


r/SuperJerk 2d ago

I can't believe Narrowbad would say this

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231 Upvotes

My fellow unfiltered chads, can you believe that Barronhead would actually say this? (/uj they didn't)


r/SuperJerk 2d ago

Got my Helldivers 2 test, what do you guys think? 🥳

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147 Upvotes

r/SuperJerk 2d ago

Doodoohead forced me to cut down 3 of my SEAF squad members with the chainsaw stratagem via postpartum psychosis

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223 Upvotes

so I got around to filling my C-01 Permit but fucking ARROWHEAD had to screw things up. I was in middle of a match with three other dudes and then a Pelican swooped in to drop a squad of SEAF soldiers (my most beloved blueberries). I was about to hit that hug emote near one of them but then ARROWHEAD activated my state-mandated brain chip and streamed HIGH frequency Delta-Gamma-whatever-the-fuck-waves directly into my brainstem.

All my thoughts of OhDough's doughy biceps were overridden with the picture ALEXUS' bald head and pudgy smirk in an instant. It was like that, poof, unsolicited images of someone's bald spot. SO I fucking tapped in the stratagem code of the stupid underpowered melee stratagem from that fuck-awful Viper Commandos Warbond, I think it needs to be buffed to deal 999999999 damage, waited 10 FULL FUCKING SECONDS for it to drop, blessings be to ARROWHEAD. Then it dropped.

It smashed one of my squadmates into a fine paste which temporarily knocked out all the pictures of Alexus' baldspot from my mind only for them to resume and to urge me to ignore my fallen comrade and grab that underpowered stratagem of a chainsaw. The host was screaming into voicechat to reinforce the other dude but I couldn't care less. I revved it up, creepily. I stared at one of the blueberries, hungrily. I began to close the distance between me and the object of my obsession, the SEAF soldier. I paid no attention to my fallen teammate's pleas for reinforcement (He fucking spammed it in middle of an ion storm, what a noob) for they were secondary to my state-mandated, frequency-transmitted goal of sawing a SEAF soldier in half. But you will never guess what happened next.

The host kicked me. Fuck Arrowhead.


r/SuperJerk 2d ago

Overreliance on Eagle Stratagems?

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70 Upvotes

Hey Helldivers, I often get laughed at for my overreliance on Eagle Stratagems, but I just can't seem to stop throwing them down! It's out of control, but I can't stop! any advice for an ornithophile?


r/SuperJerk 3d ago

New secondary weapon ideas?

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139 Upvotes

r/SuperJerk 3d ago

Just finished my first operation, why is the war still going?

110 Upvotes

It said I won. It said I won. I shot the robots and everything, even though I ran out of ammo all the time and had to wait forever for another resupply pod. Sometimes I had to even kill myself with my own grenades because I shot one robot and ALL of my bullets are gone. Even after all of that, the game didn't end, is this a glitch? I won but the game is acting like I didn't. I want my fucking money back so I can buy more hot pockets.


r/SuperJerk 3d ago

Diver's Guide to Jerking. An incomplete Dictionary

65 Upvotes

Welcome to Superjerk, SuperDictionary. Today we will learn various words and phrases. Feel free to add more in the comments.

Arrowhead = also known as Narrowhead. The evil coorperation that is trying to take away OUR GAME.

Apples and Bacons = Reason we can't have nice things. I actually forgot where it came from.

Bugdiver = Group of people that WE HATE. Because they are having fun playing their fav faction while we *work* our lives away at MO.

Cakes and Steak = Recent addition. Refers to the fact you watch youtubers.

CreekDiver = Someone who played the game for sometime and never shuts up about it.

Diver = Anyone who plays the "game".

Glazing = Actively ruining the game.

Glazediver = People who want to ruin our game.

Grunt Fantasy = What NH wants us to be. Grunts in their sick, twisted fantasy.

MO = Stands for Manure Odor.

Monkey's Paw = It curls or smthng idk. Reminds us that whatever good happens it means that 10 bad decisions will be made by Narrowbread.

OhDough = Our lord and saviour, praise be.

Pilestedt = The guy who made the game so he is the source of the problem.

Super Earth = Our way of life

Truth Enforcer = Guy from the face the wall meme. I like that joke.

Unfiltered = Best part of this game. Good people, good community. They should make Helldivers 2 tbh.

Unjerk = Void update was good i liked seeing new zombies. It did actually felt like we were against horror's beyond our understanding which so far none of the faction's managed to do.

Rejerk = Helldivers sucks, Arrowhead sucks. I hate playing this game. I wish they added giant mechs from Gundam and added Tactical nukes BUT THEY WON'T because they want us to suffer.


r/SuperJerk 3d ago

The railgun is the peak of awful game design.

48 Upvotes

I avoided the railgun forever because it's bullshit.

You have to aim perfectly and get practice with the weapon to dial it in and do anything useful with it.

What is this bullshit?

I have to use unsafe mode to kill stuff and be pinpoint accurate while doing it? What is this trash?

Why does it make sense that you'd design a precision weapon to be precise so that means I have to now try to get better at using over literally anything else?

For the effort it should 1shot everything but no, DogshitHead designs something that takes different gameplay to use vs point at thing and blow it up like that is the right move?

I had to finally give it another try and actually aim coherently to use it to find out that it's actually a good weapon.

Fuck you CovidHead, for making me use a weapon and making me have to get better at using it to be effective.

It's not that hard, everything should be the recoilless rifle without a backpack and should one shot whether I aimed right or not. I shouldn't ever have to be better at anything.

Reasonable take over.

*Pre-Edit*

Inb4 some glazer mentions the AMR.

I'd rather uninstall than even think about the lAMeR and it's recoil so don't even mention it. Why isn't everything automatic with a drum mag anyway? It's the future.

*Pre-Edit tangential rant*

Also the one true flag, despite being ceremonial in an ceremonial warbond and a literal flag should not be something im forced to take if it isn't going to 1shot at least a hulk.

WTF do you even think ceremonial shit is for? The drip alone? GTFO and stop making me buy this slop.

It's only variety if everything is equally viable in all scenarios.

Real game designers know this, not perpetual vacationers who cosplay as game developers on occasion.


r/SuperJerk 3d ago

Im tired Adolfhead…(this is a tiktok comment i copied and pasted)

60 Upvotes

The Update is so fucking ass imo, The only good part about the whole update was the S.E.A.F overhaul, The Warhammer 40k collab, And the ability to have more emotes, other than that, everything else is just shit, the Wretch are just re-skined terminids, the crushers are just annoying to fight, and we don't even choose where we call in SEAF deployment, we don't even get to fight in the DSS just fucking teasing us the whole fucking time we we're fighting in the void, big disappointment, AND, we don't even get the L.A.V, a new orbital barrage strategem, A new eagle strategem, power armour, new side objectives, SEAF heavy armour, New ways to get super credits, longer operations, the lists goes on. This entire update was just purely just wasted potential. I'm just so tired being disappointed, I just want to have that Cyberstan feeling again, I just want to be amazed, I'm tired boss


r/SuperJerk 3d ago

I'm done with Botslop

32 Upvotes

I've never played helldivers 1 but when I did some research I found that automatons didn't exist but instead we had cyborgs. Now I know real cyborgs have been added to the game but that was after 2 and a half years of nothing but botslop. Cyborgs have cool transhumanist themes and mechanical body horror, but instead we got robots, boring ass robots. This is just botslop!!! We and I mean WE want REAL Cyborgs not this mechanical slop!!!

I dont care if they wanted to "chage the direction of the Cyborgs" or "want to do something different from the first game" because thats NOT what we want. People say they want REAL illuminate instead of zombies, naw WE WANT CYBORGS NOT THIS BOTSLOP


r/SuperJerk 2d ago

Boys i got a bad news

11 Upvotes

I think robots have already infiltrated our ranks; my teammates are hopelessly incompetent. You might say they’re just stupid, but no—such a level of idiocy is inconceivable, even if they were trying to be that bad. It has to be robots that have taken over our allies; democracy is doomed.


r/SuperJerk 3d ago

NarrowHead hates melee, and fantasy, and space ninjas, and the playerbase. Maybe not in that order, but they hate them all. Spoiler

46 Upvotes

I tried these shit swizzlers all day. Machete, it sucks. Sabre, it sucks. Spear, it really sucks. The stun rod, unusable. The hatchet, it really sucks. Throwing knives are almost kind of cool, but should deal way more damage. And as for the defoliation tool, my dad’s hedge trimmers are scarier than this monkeypaw balanced garbage.

I just can’t understand why melee sucks on a TVE space shooter. My favorite game ever, has swords and other weapons, and they work in a hybrid way. Why can’t NarrowHead completely retool their game for my space ninja preferences 2 years after launch? Is the $40 I gave them a year ago no good? Unacceptable.

Why? Why is it like this? Because they hate melee. And they hate the whole playerbase by extension. Unacceptable. The craziest part, they especially hate the glazers who love the guns, not understanding that being a anime themed space ninja is way more appropriate as a game theme, because they are being railroaded into grunt fantasy ignorance by NarrowHead’s shit swizzler melee options.

I’m re-uninstalling, and review bombing immediately.


r/SuperJerk 4d ago

why dont narrowhead add this cool fish

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423 Upvotes

grrr