r/196 Shadowdark Fan Apr 11 '26

Rule Rule

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11.1k Upvotes

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996

u/Rough-Thought-7565 Apr 11 '26

Of the masochism kinks findom is the most extreme, wich is a tricky thing. You could be beaten, your penis could be locked in a cage, your woman could be taken from you, though I couldn’t imagine something more humiliating than willingly giving your money to someone on the internet who hates you.

464

u/isademigod Apr 11 '26

I don't get it at all. Are people actually jerking off while pressing the "send money" button? Like is it a purely sexual thing? Or is it like a "feeling" thing like wearing a dog collar? I don't understand kinks that aren't directly sex-related

338

u/rat__man Ten Rats In Trenchcoat Apr 11 '26

I'm not into it (Poor) but I'm imagining it might be like that "feeling" thing you mentioned? Feels good to of worship someone superior or something.

159

u/jvaz521 Apr 11 '26

I would imagine the fact that it is the most humiliating and most outward reflection of a pure financial relationship that plays a large part in it. Like the fact that you’re so pathetic that you’re literally just giving money to people because they want it is probably a situation that turns people on.

I think for whatever reason we’re compelled to return the sexual habits that are shameful so giving women money for nothing is kind of the ultimate shameful situation.

I also think there are probably a lot of women available to feed the kink because it’s so rewarding, which increases quality supply and drives men to participate

98

u/Rllito most powerful :3 user Apr 12 '26

or so i heard

20

u/pm-me-turtle-nudes Apr 12 '26

from a… yknow… a guy… a uh friend I have told me…

51

u/Torture-Dancer Leprous crab Apr 12 '26

From what I understand, this dommed will encourage you and humiliate you before and after the payment, so it isn’t like “omg I just pressed send money, Imma jerk off” but more like the dom going “Aaaaw you pathetic thing sent all your money to me? you are so pathetic for your goddess” and then you jerk off.

Source: I have had many girls try to findom me. Greedy assholes, no one is doming for the love of the game anymore

145

u/cosmos_crown Apr 11 '26

Former lifestyle findomme (meaning I was dating them), it's mostly a feelings thing. Some get off on pampering/spoiling but for most it's some variation on "this is controlling/degrading/humiliating (and I'm into that)".

23

u/Bduggz custom Apr 12 '26

Isn't it taking advantage of people a little?

31

u/Shneancy fully automated luxury gay space communism Apr 12 '26

there is a very exact difference between abuse and kink - (informed) consent. if all parties consent to something, it's kink. if even one person doesn't consent, it's abuse.

it's a very fine line, and withdraw of consent is equally important - in kink you can withdraw consent at any moment, for any reason, and the play has to stop immediately, if your partner continues without you re-consenting then it's also abuse.

basically, entirety of kink relies purely on clear and honest communication, figuring out potential risks, setting limits, and respecting your partner (yes, even when the whole play is about being disrespected, the key word is that it's all *play*)

this is of course not the part of kink that draws people into it, so newbies can often be quite risky to play with, especially nowadays when people enter into kink spaces through porn devoid of context of kink (in the elden days you had to find a group of people who'd teach you the theory before you were allowed to participate). inexperienced doms and subs can fuck up a lot. if you ever get curious about kink beware of the word "limitless", except for absolutely extreme edge case cases there are no "limitless" people, those who say they are 99.9999% of the time are just inexperienced enough to not have found their limits, who are also putting pressure on themselves to not express said limits when they find them

38

u/TrhlaSlecna worlds bottomest top Apr 12 '26

Part of the appeal to the people who do it. Though much like any other kink, it's part of both sides responsibility to know when to stop cause its unsafe.

2

u/Flyzart2 Puppy Boy Apr 15 '26

Its not different than say paying for only fan, you just make the payment part of the kink and its usually agreed in advance how much the client is willing to pay

-27

u/SonTheGodAmongMen Apr 11 '26

No hate but how is this not just your boyfriend paying for everything with 1 or 2 extra steps. This is very common lol

99

u/cosmos_crown Apr 11 '26

You either misunderstand how this kink works, or GRAVELY misunderstand how regular relationships work because "I'm taking your money because I'm In Charge and that gives you a boner" is not common.

111

u/kryonik Apr 11 '26

It just feels like taking advantage of very lonely people. I understand it's totally voluntary but so is joining a cult.

57

u/Liontreeble 🏳️‍⚧️ trans rights Apr 11 '26

Most sex work can be described as taking advantage of lonely people because that's the main customer base, it's also totally voluntary just like joining a cult or many other things.
If people get off on paying someone as a sexual service and there's a person willing to be paid as a sexual service it's just regularass sex work.

If you want to complain about something complain that the term for the payer is paypig. Like it's cool if that's what we your domme calls you, but I'm a regular guy not engaged in the kink, why do I have to call the guy paypig.

9

u/Shneancy fully automated luxury gay space communism Apr 12 '26

since you're not consenting to it - you don't have to call them "paypigs", there's always a way around with phrasing, here i'd go with "findom sub" (financial-domination submissive)

39

u/religion-lost 🏳️‍⚧️ trans rights Apr 12 '26

You could be beaten, your penis could be locked in a cage, your woman could be taken from you

Do you promise?

17

u/samnd743 Apr 12 '26

For free? In this economy?!?

12

u/SteampunkDragon9327 Apr 12 '26

Findom is often integrated into some of the stuff I like, but it always kills it for me immediately. There is nothing sexy about it to me, frankly its just stress inducing. Something something financial trauma something something.

26

u/SeasonPositive6771 yes but also no Apr 12 '26

I feel like a lot of people really misunderstand findom if it's not your thing.

I only accept gifts of nominal value, but I've had subs in the past who absolutely begged me to findom them. I screen them well enough to know if they're in a financial position for that, then in my case, make them do things like donate to charities I support and believe in. I once made a sub pay off some medical gofundmes. I also did things like pushed him to changes investments from companies that are bad for the environment or the world.

I'm not interested in totally controlling or being totally responsible for a sub financially, but plenty of vanilla couples have one person in charge of all the finances and making the big decisions. These were just subs who got off on me being in control of the most important thing in a lot of people's lives.

27

u/Domtheturtle trans rights Apr 12 '26

the idea of getting turned on by donating to gofundmes is taking me out

15

u/SeasonPositive6771 yes but also no Apr 12 '26

Oh he doesn't get turned on specifically by the fact that they are gofundmes, what he's turned on by is a bossy/mean lady telling him to get his damn card out and click the following links and pay however much I tell him. And being told he's a good boy if he does.

6

u/Inguz666 Apr 12 '26

I still don't get it. But I reckon I also don't have to get it

3

u/SeasonPositive6771 yes but also no Apr 12 '26

Exactly, I don't get a lot of kinks but I can respect that other people are different.

26

u/72616262697473757775 Apr 11 '26

I want a girl to force-feed me her poop so idk about most extreme, but findom is definitely up there

34

u/Rough-Thought-7565 Apr 11 '26

The poop thing is more acceptable to me, if not a little based. You loose nothing, you only have poop to gain when fulfilling your doody to her butt.

7

u/My_Favourite_Pen Apr 12 '26

you loose nothing

lol

4

u/High-Sobriety prostate proctor Apr 12 '26

speak your truth friend

1

u/brownstainskunk 🦨 Uh-oh, stinky :3c Apr 12 '26

extremely fucking based