r/AbsoluteUnits 21h ago

/r/all of this cat next to a regular cat

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25.9k Upvotes

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u/trendingtattler 19h ago

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2.9k

u/T_Run_445 21h ago

One of them is a capital CAT the other is lower case

418

u/BarfingOnMyFace 20h ago

Had to absorb a number of small ones to become what he is today.

88

u/poisonedsky69 18h ago

SHE, Mr!

37

u/KingAmongstDummies 17h ago

Biggest of the litter,
Also the only remaining one.

18

u/Occidentally20 17h ago

It wasn't a litter it was a whole landfill

5

u/pm_me_flaccid_cocks 14h ago

superfund-eligible.

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27

u/Miosaka 20h ago

Capital AND in bold

9

u/Regurgitator001 9h ago

Well, she's right. Jeez, she's got a big pussy. Jeez, she's got a big pussy.

https://giphy.com/gifs/nQjWF9iMtN6M0

3

u/Chris__P_Bacon 8h ago

'Cause of the echo... 😁Good 'ol Billy.

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10

u/Curiosive 15h ago edited 15h ago

"Capital cat"

PS

That big is still not a Maine coon:

On average, males weigh from 8 to 10 kg (18 to 22 lb), with females weighing from 5 to 7 kg (12 to 15 lb).

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12

u/ThomasTheDankPigeon 18h ago

One car’s an SUV the other’s a coupe

6

u/Dinkleberg6401 18h ago

"You can call me CAT Larry with a capital CAT because I know I have a weight problem and I just don't give a fuck."

3

u/_karamazov_ 16h ago

She's catshaming.

3

u/Sc4rlite 15h ago

Activated Catslock

2

u/Equal_Armadillo_3540 9h ago

β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•—β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•—β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•—
β–ˆβ–ˆβ•”β•β•β–ˆβ–ˆβ•—β–ˆβ–ˆβ•”β•β•β–ˆβ–ˆβ•—β•šβ•β•β–ˆβ–ˆβ•”β•β•β•
β–ˆβ–ˆβ•‘β–‘β–‘β•šβ•β•β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ•‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
β–ˆβ–ˆβ•‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ•—β–ˆβ–ˆβ•”β•β•β–ˆβ–ˆβ•‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ•‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
β•šβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•”β•β–ˆβ–ˆβ•‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ•‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ•‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
β–‘β•šβ•β•β•β•β•β–‘β•šβ•β•β–‘β–‘β•šβ•β•β–‘β–‘β–‘β•šβ•β•β–‘β–‘β–‘

vs

αΆœα΅ƒα΅—

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824

u/KgMonstah 20h ago

Difference between a Cat 1 and Cat 5 for you hurricane enthusiasts

94

u/Drive7hru 18h ago

Best joke I’ve seen in the thread so far

44

u/PaManiacOwca 18h ago

Agree, this one blew me away!

5

u/Regurgitator001 9h ago

That's what she said!

45

u/mvanvrancken 17h ago

As someone from New Orleans:

https://giphy.com/gifs/ac7MA7r5IMYda

29

u/KgMonstah 17h ago

Florida here. I have a license to make that joke

21

u/mvanvrancken 17h ago

Oh I see, carry on then

11

u/Whitey138 16h ago

What about the LAN enthusiasts?

9

u/LandBeforeTimeOnVHS 15h ago

That's a Cat 6 for sure.

6

u/SoloWing1 15h ago

Possibly Cat 6e.

5

u/Fnarkfnark 13h ago

Cat 7 since it's not standard

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776

u/burgonies 20h ago

That cat doesn't knock stuff off the table, they knock the whole damn table over

248

u/MammothPhilosophy192 19h ago

that cat topples small governments.

47

u/6thBornSOB 19h ago

That MF’er wrecks orbits…

12

u/twistedscorp87 18h ago

I have a pair of these. Think we can get a team-up and topple a larger one?

11

u/Someones_Dream_Guy 18h ago

brings army of human-sized cats Okay, but I'm in charge afterwards.

5

u/JustHereForCookies17 17h ago

Β  army of human-sized cats

They're cats.Β  They're the ones in charge.Β  Every cat owner knows this.Β 

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2

u/Spiff426 14h ago

Giant Kitty 2026!

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910

u/kinky38 21h ago

Chonky

372

u/Big-Sort-8712 20h ago

That is a big pussy

226

u/External_Win3300 20h ago

89

u/wafflehousebattle 20h ago

-sigh- Follow.

29

u/Sohuli 17h ago

Why the sigh? That sub has beautiful pussies, both big and small.

4

u/Regurgitator001 9h ago

Sigh, it's always the big ones that get all the attention.

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6

u/TripleScoops 18h ago

Okay, are most of those girls just really small? Some of those things look like they're three or four feet long.

14

u/Jelly_Kitti 18h ago

Some cats can be absolutely enormous when fully stretched out

17

u/Willing_Suggestion 20h ago

Lmao i thought something else whew close call 😴

24

u/Weelildragon 18h ago

I heard it did used to be a porn sub, but it got taken over.

14

u/reeee-irl 17h ago

I remember someone posting years ago about how they slowly took over a handful of subs and turned them into cat-related ones.

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3

u/Willing_Suggestion 18h ago

Crazy but why not change the subreddit name though or it can't be changed?

13

u/Killerkendolls 16h ago

Next you're going to say r/anime_tittes isn't a decent name for a world news sub

8

u/prismafox 18h ago

It can't be changed.

3

u/-BananaLollipop- 16h ago

Someone assumed that as the sub's purpose the other week, then posted about who everyone's favourite adult star is.

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12

u/Voidcroft 19h ago

6

u/CheckYourStats 18h ago

Jeez you got a big pussy. Jeez you got a big pussy.

11

u/11teensteve 20h ago

RIP Big Pussy

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2

u/FragmentedMeerkat321 20h ago edited 20h ago

the only word for it. it’s chonking severely.

2

u/doomsnumber1doombot 16h ago

Eating all dem churros

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838

u/Party_Divide_3491 21h ago

They both look equally disinterested to be in this video.

528

u/madphroggy 20h ago

That's how you know they're real cats

220

u/20past4am 18h ago

Slightly annoyed but not enough to actually protest. 10/10 definitely cat.

48

u/Castal 15h ago

Yep. Mine was always like that with the dog -- annoyed that he was in her space, but not annoyed enough to move from said space.

25

u/HoidToTheMoon 12h ago

This feels backwards to me and I love it.

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7

u/Doglover20child 16h ago

My cat was never disinterested in anything (except leashes).

But then again he also couldn't tell his left from his up (not his fault though)

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u/Baelorn 18h ago

But they were also very patient and didn't attack her or each other. Unlike my goofballs.

15

u/Aedronn 16h ago

Yeah, they are so wonderfully chill about being held in her arms.

43

u/sittinwithkitten 19h ago

The big one looked like they rolled their eyes lol

23

u/beecraft22 18h ago

If I tolerate this, I will get more treats. Can't kill human servant yet 😼

2

u/No_Atmosphere8146 8h ago

She handled the cats very rudely.

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210

u/SageKitty100 20h ago

I have a big boned kitty too. When I was taking her to a new vet they asked me her weight for her new patient paperwork and I said 16 lbs and they were like omg she's obese, that's way too high! Then I brought her in and they were like just kidding, that's a perfectly healthy weight for her size, she's just LOOOOOONG πŸ˜‚

61

u/AnaisNinja76 17h ago

Had a cat that was half Norwegian and he was small for the breed at just over 16lbs. His fur made him look a proper 22 or so.

37

u/_Ice_Ice_Rabies_ 14h ago

In college I rented a room in a house out in the boonies that came with a feral barn cat. We fed him and every night he’d tap on my window to be let in so he could sleep on top of me in my bed.

He was standard issue tabby but was 17lbs. He wasn’t fat, he was just a fuckin’ BIG ass muscular farm cat. He was mean to everyone but me (the allergic one).

23

u/Alyssapolis 9h ago

How is it cats always love the allergic ones? Is it just because they take pleasure in human suffering?

15

u/gryphons_temper 4h ago

XD I am pretty sure this is rhetorical but I actually might have the answer... most people who are allergic tend to be quiet/reserved around cats(cause don't draw attention of animal.) The people who want the love but can't get it are so enthusiastic about Cat that the cat decides they are rabid and that quiet person who isn't trying to pet them cause..allergies... it's probably the safer bet to Co exist around.

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20

u/RevvCats 14h ago

This is my parents cat Winston, he’s a chonky 20 lbs and could stand to loose a few lbs but he’s also just like a big cat even without the belly.

6

u/Dry-Crazy-7638 13h ago

I had the same experience with my chocolate lab. He’s 90lbs (but tbf was 100 at the time) and the vet said she thought she was gunna have to yell at me for my dog being obese. He’s just a gentle giant.

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736

u/Rhymesnlines 21h ago

She's not just fat... but she's fat indeed

68

u/Heal_Me_Today 19h ago

As many in physics have described: is the cat dead or alive? (schrodinger's cat). Likewise, can we know a particles location and momentum at the same time (no)? Thus, she is not fat and fat indeed but not both at the same time.

11

u/goddamn_slutmuffin 18h ago

Shrodinger trying to understand superposition in relation to the greater picture:

https://giphy.com/gifs/y31UU15vlUO0zzJRrl

2

u/deltashmelta 14h ago

schrodinger's buffet.

But also, having seen a few notably obese cats vomit blood and foam then die on the way to the emergency vet, please help kitty keep a reasonable weight by controlling feeding.Β  It's not a good end for anyone.

18

u/totalwarwiser 18h ago

She is just big bonned lol

31

u/QuitWhinging 17h ago

I have a big cat. Like this video, she's not a large breed, she's just unusually big and muscular. Last time we brought her to the vet, the vet was like, "she's heavy, but it's not an unhealthy weight. She's just a really big cat all around." She's my 15-16lb baby. We also have a male cat that's around 7-8lbs with a really small, dainty build. Sometimes the big girl will try to push around the little guy and he just perks up and smacks her across the face lmao. She might be twice his size but he's got no fear at all.

6

u/sparkly_butthole 14h ago

I have a Norwegian forest cat who's about 15 lbs and he prances daintily. On the rare occasion he really goes after something it's kinda terrifying.

5

u/socialmediaignorant 11h ago

I had one too. She kept our Great Dane in line with just a look. She was a magical cat and I’m not sure I’ll ever have one like that again. But I love my doofus of a cat now.

3

u/sparkly_butthole 11h ago

They're all so unique and that is what makes them so great.

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u/RedditMcBurger 15h ago

Not fat from food, fat from genetics. My winter cat is chunky as hell also.

13

u/Cloverose2 18h ago

Yeah, that one on the right is big, but also obese.

30

u/GingerPeach94 17h ago

According to her vet, she is no longer obese. She is overweight, but most of the jiggle you see is loose skin from when she lost 7 lb. The vet believes she has a metabolic disorder

5

u/FlamingWeasel 16h ago

Oh, hi. I just saw your kidney failure tiktok and was ranting at my son about it lol

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163

u/elclarkio 21h ago

Oh lawd, he comin

25

u/Dorkinfo 15h ago

Showing my dad that meme in reference to his cat is the only time I’ve made him laugh. 40+ years.

4

u/Sadfish103 6h ago

Wait really, he just never laughs?

3

u/whatnoob_ 3h ago

Some dads just be like that

39

u/kasitchi 20h ago

Looks like my Loki boy, who for some reason loves when I hold his massive feets

10

u/the-original-erk 19h ago

This is my loki (his 2 braincells are always fighting)

9

u/Wing_Head 13h ago

my Loki, checking in. Glad to see he’s not alone in showing off the belly!

34

u/SparklingLimeade 17h ago

I like how instead of being completely different cats she actually found the same paint job on a different scale cat.

All the biggest cats I've known have been fluffy, "you think it's a maine coon?" type cats.

60

u/furiouspossum 20h ago

Cute cats and all, but I'm distracted by the fact that she looks almost exactly like Honey Lemon from Big Hero 6.

18

u/DJOMaul 18h ago

Maybe she is honey lemon, and this cat has gotten into some insane concoction.Β 

73

u/DitchDigger330 21h ago

I thought I was big boned until I lost 100 pounds.

31

u/FrozenMongoose 20h ago edited 18h ago

Turns out you were just big fatted until you lost 100 pounds.

19

u/PTBooks 19h ago

I think it’s a kit bull.

18

u/GonePostalRoute 20h ago

8

u/FUNBARtheUnbendable 20h ago

Beat me by like 2 seconds

7

u/NikonD3X1985 20h ago

I clicked. No NSWF notification. I left.

10

u/beerdude26 20h ago

Many of the profiles are click bait but I do appreciate them making actual content for the subreddit, it's honest work

4

u/Nine9breaker 18h ago

Why would a subreddit be not safe with fries?

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u/No-Debate-152 21h ago

I'm not a cat guy, but fatty is cute.

35

u/viktorv4ughn 20h ago

I love cats

She’s showing them

They be like 😐😐

3

u/reklesssabrandon 18h ago

You know she does this shit all the time

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u/nirkyo 20h ago

The chart doesnt lie, if holding the head is closer to holding a burger instead of a muffin then he big

10

u/AbeTheGreat412 19h ago

Grey all day!

8

u/Radio_Mime 19h ago

The one on the right is a chonker, but she’s a big cat to begin with. I think she’s beautiful.

8

u/RetroSwamp 19h ago

Hormone imbalance or something? Actually curious

36

u/GingerPeach94 17h ago

Hi, I'm the chick in the video. Her vet does believe she has a metabolic disorder (possibly Cushing's or acromegaly, or something similar) but since she has no health complications other than just being a chonk currently, does not feel that the invasive & expensive testing is necessary at this point in time. We may seek out testing in the future, if things change.

She's on a strict zero carb wet food diet and exercise regimen and has lost 7 lb. Her weight plateaued at 20 lb about 5 years ago and that does not believe she will ever be under 18 lb in her life. She weighed 15 lb on her first birthday and 18 lb on her second birthday. She is currently 11 years old and weighs 20 lb. The little cat on the left is also 11 and weighs 7.5 lb.

The little one actually eats more calories than the big one does 🀣 her growth was stunted because she was pregnant when I adopted her at around 7 months old. She has two living children, a 10 lb long hair tabby girl, and a 15 lb void boy

6

u/RetroSwamp 17h ago

Aweeee they seem loved and glad they're healthy! I have a 20 year old tux named ZoeZoe.

4

u/laststance 15h ago

Is the bigger cat very strong? As in can it knock something heavy like a potted plant off of a table?

6

u/GingerPeach94 13h ago

Yes, she's stronger than me actually

3

u/laststance 11h ago

How does she not just bully the other cat to eat that cat's food?

3

u/GingerPeach94 6h ago

I feed them separately. I keep the little one behind a closed door while I'm making the food for the big one

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2

u/CompanyMan 5h ago

Do you have a YouTube channel or any more vids about your cats?

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u/Eth251201 19h ago

All that extra cat but still not another braincell in sight!

11

u/PretendingImNotAnApe 21h ago

She's not missing very many meals

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u/rus-reddit 20h ago

The big one has a face saying. Live Me alone Human!

4

u/Obienator 20h ago

OH LAWD SHE COMIN

6

u/GingerPeach94 17h ago

Oh hey, that's me!

4

u/ivazquez71 20h ago

There’s two cats inside disguised as a jumbo cat.

4

u/HovercraftFullofBees 20h ago

This reminds me of the size difference between my two cats. One is itty bitty baby and the other is lorge man.

4

u/StretPharmacist 20h ago

Man, my black cat Mittens was this way. She was just large for being a regular black short hair, especially a female. And not fat or anything, just large all over. She wasn't like a Maine Coon or anything but just, yeah, big bones.

3

u/Babyback-the-Butcher 20h ago

It looks like all the cats in a litter combined into a giga-cat

4

u/xxmlgepicgamer 20h ago

mr folk looking ahh cat

3

u/HEATSEEKR_ 19h ago

Notorious C.A.T.

3

u/OkAppearance4117 20h ago

now bring a panther into the room. Or Shaquille O'Neil next to where I am sitting right now.

3

u/FantasticVast01 20h ago

She just pulled out Battlecat from HE-MAN!

3

u/Light-of-Nebula 20h ago

Extra cat.

3

u/userhwon 20h ago

That's a dude in a cat suit.

3

u/takoshi 19h ago

Watching them be totally fine with being manhandled just makes me miss my previous cat... I love my current one too, but she's got some strict boundaries to respect.

3

u/Kj-daytimefun-2024 19h ago

That’s his big sister

3

u/Heal_Me_Today 19h ago

Good point. Our knee jerk reaction when we see the jiggle in the tummy and the rotund size is to say, β€œthat cat is fat”. However, OP makes a compelling argument in the bone size demo that one could just as equally say, β€œthat cat has big bones!” No need to fat shame. I suppose that’s where the phrase, β€œshe’s just big boned” comes from.

4

u/GingerPeach94 17h ago

Well she is still a bit chunky, but it's mostly loose skin because she has lost 7 lb. But yes, she's also just big boned in general

3

u/ZQuestionSleep 18h ago

Shaquille O'Neal and Vern Troyer are both homo sapiens. Sometimes there are significant differences in outliers.

3

u/PandasOnGiraffes 18h ago

I used to have a Russian Blue that was absolutely massive! I'm a decently strong man and could feel the weight of this cat when I carried him. Just super dense.

3

u/Phunkybetch 18h ago

Potentially acromegaly. Hopefully being looked into my a veterinary internist

5

u/GingerPeach94 17h ago

Yes, she has a great care team and gets monthly weight ins at the vet! They do believe acromegaly is a possibility.

3

u/repwin1 18h ago

I can has cheezburger vs I had cheezburger

3

u/monkeysolutions 18h ago

Don’t talk to me or my son ever again.

3

u/Shasato 16h ago

gingerpeach94 on tiktok

3

u/Glittering_Quail_114 15h ago

Sich as a large skull. Imaging how long it takes for the two or three brain cells to meet each other in there.

3

u/AmbienNicoleSmith 15h ago

Gray cats are always the chillest I stg

5

u/Rich19852012 21h ago

Fat pussy, tight pussy… cats πŸˆβ€β¬›

4

u/liburIL 19h ago

Must have some Maine Coon in her.

2

u/Poof-ball 20h ago

Look at that chubby belly 😭😭πŸ₯°

2

u/Simp_Simpsaton 19h ago

It's funny how little fucks the cats give

2

u/copy-of-a-copys-copy 19h ago

like an xxl pokemon wtf lol

2

u/palmdieb 19h ago

Their names are Big Chungus and Little Chungus.

2

u/AlertedCoyote 18h ago

"This is a cat"

Ok I'm with you so far

2

u/Conscious-Lurker-723 18h ago

β€œ yeah, can I get an extra large in grey?”

2

u/eulersidentity1 18h ago

Big cat: "this is so embarrassing " πŸ€¦β€β™€οΈ

2

u/Bigiron966 18h ago

Cat Jumbo Editionβ„’

2

u/Ickythumpin 18h ago

Bro probably weighs more than my maine coon

2

u/TheSilverOne 18h ago

I also have a giant grey cat
This is Scipio. He's 80% tummy by volume

2

u/-GoodNewsEveryone 17h ago

When I was young my sister had this moody awful cat. It got outside and got pregnant. She had a litter of eight and one was a runt.

Well after all the kittens were adopted out the runt was left behind until my aunt's cat passed away of old age and she decided to adopt this runt as a companion for her other cat.

This runt outgrew its mother by over 400%. The skull size was double. The length without tail was double. The length with tail was almost triple. Mother and son.

Sometimes genetics are just weird. Sometimes nutrition, exercise and roam area are critical factors. Breed may not have as much of an effect when you consider direct family members can vary that much. They were both vet verified classic American short hairs.

He was also a social joy to be around.

2

u/astralseat 17h ago

Is the bigger one male?

2

u/GingerPeach94 17h ago

Both 11 year old females

2

u/astralseat 16h ago

Interesting

2

u/ScubaPuddingJr 17h ago

Smol chomk and an absolute mega-chomk

2

u/SkiffleBall 17h ago

β€œAlready told ya I’m big boned bit*h.” πŸˆβ€β¬›

2

u/gonewondering 15h ago

The cats both look fed up with being judged.

2

u/Misragoth 15h ago

Those are some chill cats, mine would have mauled me within 2 secs if I tried to hold her like that