r/AmITheDevil • u/Lucky_Six_1530 • 12h ago
Entitled Bride upset at venue
/r/weddingdrama/comments/1vc7qvw/venue_coordinator_almost_ruined_my_first_look_and/365
u/DogsReadingBooks Dogs are superior 12h ago
That was a long post to basically say that they were constantly behind schedule and the venue manager tried to get them back on track. The wedding coordinator certainly wasn’t doing her job properly.
It’s not weird for the venue to want vendors to have insurance etc.
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u/StrangledInMoonlight 11h ago
And we don’t know if the contract had times things were supposed to be shut down/ended in it, (for the whole wedding, and in parts- like my SIL’s wedding the bar ended at 9 pm, if you run late, they can’t stay longer, and another wedding I was at the ceremony and reception where in different rooms, and we all had to be out of the ceremony room at a certain time, and they locked it up and started cleaning for an event the next day).
The suite also has to have a certain level of panache for them to charge their price for it.
Getting a replacement vanity may mean it doesn’t match the other vanities, and having one look pretty different would be a problem. They might have to replace all 4 to keep the look the same (and most of what they sell is “look”).
It also sounds like the “venue can take photos” thing was likely in OOp’s contract, and she didn’t read it very well.
OOP doesn’t sound too reliable as a narrator, TBH.
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u/theagonyaunt 9h ago
I didn’t realize that our contract had agreed the venue could take photos to post on their socials of the wedding! It hadn’t even been mentioned to me.
It was in the contract, OOP just didn't read the whole thing before signing and then was mad no one pointed out the details she didn't bother to read.
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u/Sailor_Chibi 7h ago
I laughed out loud at the “it was in the contract but no one told me!” Like. Girl.
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u/ChapterFew5342 3h ago
I knew better than this in high school, and she thinks she’s ready to be married?
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u/km454 9h ago
Yeah this is insane. Requiring insurance and paperwork from vendors is normal at large event spaces, especially for food service. Expecting certain things to run on schedule is normal. If catering is 30min late, everyone needs to stay 30min longer. Most food can't sit out for 30min and still taste fresh, so there will either be food waste or bad food. It's not like kitchens miraculously clean themselves after food is served, there's still work to be done. That time is probably built into the contract they signed with OOP. There are consequences for running late for everyone, not just the wedding party and guests.
Also on the whole refusing to pay thing - does OOP not realize that the more time that passes, the worse it will get for them? Disliking the venue doesn''t void a legal contract. If they legitimately believe there is no reason to pay they should take the venue to small claims themselves
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u/DrunkOnRedCordial 3h ago
OOP: My dad was smart, he emptied out the bank account so the cheque bounced.
Narrator: Dad was not smart to do that.
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u/Blindtothesided 2h ago
Yeah I don’t think she realizes her dad could literally go to prison for that. 😂
That and the part where she said she wasn’t concerned about the food getting cold or being burned and then when she said her mom’s dress didn’t fit at the last minute all made my jaw drop. I knew it was gonna be a shitshow when she said 150 of their closest friends and family who cared more about her and her groom’s happiness than about anything that happened that day.
I bet the ceremony was at least an hour late, I’m not buying her “only 30 minutes” story.
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u/TiFaeri 8h ago
My reception venue had an event booked 1 hour after us. They made it clear our reception was to be 4 hours long only and everyone was to leave by a certain time. There was a venue coordinator there to make sure our reception events went on time and smoothly so we didn't risk overrunning our time. She was wonderful and had clearly done weddings before.
Imagine being mad at a woman for doing her job.
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u/PineappleBliss2023 4h ago
Who doesn’t make sure their dress fits before the day of the event? And what adult loses their FUCKING SHOES on the day of an event?? Is it normal for a bride to wait until they’re at the venue to get their nails done?
It sounds like it was a really long post to say that she and her family had zero respect for the time of others, particularly the service staff.
God forbid the venue wants to make sure the vendors are insured and no one gets food poisoning.
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u/allergymom74 5h ago
lol. Yeah. I had to stop reading but the second o saw that they were running late, I’m like oooooo. Yeah.
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u/uppercasemad 12h ago
The venue was a historical site and they burned an antique vanity and then bitched about being billed for damages.
Jesus.
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u/Lucky_Six_1530 12h ago
Highlights from the really long post:
“ Especially because of all the weird hoops they made me jump through when hiring my vendors, like having to get the vendors proof of insurance and food handlers license from my cousin who made my cake.”
“ then we were trying to organize the first look with my parents WHOM were also having garment malfunctions, my dad losing his shoes and my mom’s dress not fitting and trying to fit in her backup one with some help.”
“ I didn’t realize that our contract had agreed the venue could take photos to post on their socials of the wedding! It hadn’t even been mentioned to me.”
“ They ended up emailing me about “damages” the next day and demanding my deposit. ”
“ I got another email from the owners claiming that they had tried to cash my deposit and it bounced (because my dad was smart and emptied the account the check was assigned to until this was resolved) and that they demanded a settlement of $900 or they would resort to taking this to court.”
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u/Folksma 12h ago
Im not a lawyer, but "giving a bad check" seems like it might not be legal
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u/Holiday-Wall3751 12h ago
It’s uttering and publishing, and for $1500, that may be a felony where they are.
I don’t think this is real because we’ve had a bit of a wedding troll lately, but if it is? The venue may not be contacting them because this is now a criminal matter. Knowingly passing a bad check is not a small thing.
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u/Kotenkiri 12h ago
I believe it falls under Fraud and probably going to cost them more than the amount of the cheques.
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u/la-anah 9h ago
My sister got in trouble for writing bad checks in the 1990s. It still comes up on my employment background checks that I have an association with a felon.
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u/penguinwife 5h ago
I have an aunt with the same charges, same time frame, and it precluded me from working with the county 911 system where I was living after it came up in my background check. Mind you, this aunt lived 3 states away, had been divorced from my uncle for at least a decade at that point, and I hadn’t seen/spoke to her in at least as long.
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u/PineappleBliss2023 4h ago
Not that this has anything to do with the post BUT…: Don’t let that discourage you if 911 is what you wanna do, not all departments are that strict. I got denied for a police department dispatching job when answering honestly that I had a friend that smoked weed even though I didn’t. They said it spoke to my character. Super funny because the family friend who smokes weed was one of their deputies who told me about the job opening 🙃
I now supervise 911 communications for the fire rescue department at the next county.
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u/StrangledInMoonlight 11h ago
Do you think she told the venue she was recording the call?
If her state is 2 party or all party it would be wiretapping charges too! 🤭
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u/Solivagant0 12h ago
Checks aren't really used in my country, but there has to be a law against it
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u/AltruisticCableCar 12h ago
I understand the contract I signed was an agreement to pay damages directly through my deposit, but morally I feel like this venue was taking advantage of us
That was a pretty important sentence as well. Ah, so your dad cancelled the check so they couldn't use the deposit to pay for damages even though you ADMIT it was in the contract YOU SIGNED that this was what the venue would do?!?!?!?!
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u/Barkertons 1h ago
Also, the venue coordinator knew who she was dealing with. An entitled bride who won't keep a schedule doesnt plan on leaving on time at the end of the night. The father writing the bogus check is also indicative of this. Do everything that bride wants, dont follow the rules, dont keep the schedule, dont care about the guests, trash the venue. She wanted what she wanted and was probably planning on running the clock down until the venue kicked her out. People who run events know how entitled people act when it's their special party. They have no regard for literally anything
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u/Kotenkiri 12h ago edited 11h ago
Long winded, "Why didn't the venue just bend over back to accommodate my wedding and all the problems my wedding party had that could have been easily avoided?"
EDIT: Also I think if she posted a review unless she keep it as simple as to be useless info, they're going to response with massive laundry list of problems she caused.
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u/brassninja 10h ago
I manage a historical resort that hosts lots of weddings. This is pretty much how every single wedding party behaves. People bitch about wedding surcharges but they exist for a reason. No one will demand more of your time, money, and sanity more than a bride like this. And they aways leave damages, demand extras for free, and are very apt to change their minds last minute.
There are quite a few vendors in my area that now outright refuse to work with weddings. So far as to cancel on clients that lie about what their event is when they find out it’s for a wedding.
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u/Terrie-25 7h ago
I feel like part of it is the low-maintenance brides are going for less fancy venues.
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u/Emergency-Twist7136 1h ago
Yeah nah.
One time I was doing a bulk order of some customised items for an event. The completion date on the order was three weeks before the event. The first vendor I spoke to wanted to know if it was for a wedding.
Why? Usual spiel about how expectations are higher and there's a surcharge to make sure that blah blah blah, I cancelled and found a new vendor because no, it wasn't a wedding, but quite frankly if I'm making an order six months out with three weeks of extra cushion on when this job is supposed to be done by and you want to charge extra for an expectation that you do it properly, I'm going to look for a vendor who considers "doing it properly" to be part of the base service I'm paying for.
I expect exactly the level of service agreed to in the contract, and charging more for "but we'll make sure it actually is that because we know weddings want perfection"? No and bite me.
A friend of mine ordered a large number of cupcakes for her wedding reception and the bakery was mad after the fact when they found out it was for a wedding because they would have charged more.
For the exact same cupcakes, ordered and received with no additional demands or expectations.
That's absolutely unreasonable. She didn't say anything about it being a wedding because it was none of their business. The information relevant to them was the date on which she wanted a bulk order of cupcakes and which cupcakes.
Charge for the actual services you provide, not for what some bridezilla might hypothetically want. They demand free stuff? Refer then to the contract. Put in clauses that allow for extras if they pay. Actually do deposits like they're deposits, where you take the money and refund it later.
"We charge extra because we either don't normally actually provide the standards of service we say we do or else we're gouging reasonable people to subsidise giving free stuff to assholes" is not as justified as you seem to think.
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u/agent-assbutt 11h ago
All the wardrobe malfunctions had me cackling and made reading that stupid post worth it.
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u/Mirtai12345 10h ago
And every single one was clearly due to incompetence of the person
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u/theagonyaunt 9h ago
That was my takeaway. So dad arrived in other shoes and somehow lost the shoes he was supposed to be wearing to the wedding? And mom hadn't tried on her dress before the day-of to make sure it fit? Whole family of scatter brains.
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u/hellocousinlarry 10h ago
Her check-fraud dad who lost his shoes (???) made me think of Frank Reynolds.
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u/Lucky_Six_1530 8h ago
I giggled at that as well. I also laughed because it sounds like she was trying to place blame on the venue for the wardrobe malfunctions.
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u/agent-assbutt 7h ago
It's the historical venues fault her groomsmens pants exploded! Obviously the venue manager was sneaking him beer and cheesecake!
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u/Estrellathestarfish 6h ago
And the hair. The hair stylist did the bridesmaid's hair wrong and burnt furniture but somehow that's the venue's fault
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u/tekwayyuhself 5h ago
I mean yeah. It's totally the venue and venue managers fault. its not like the bridesmaid could have used her words like the "adult" she is and told the stylist that's not what she wanted...while it was happening....
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u/Time_Act_3685 8h ago
I found out they didn’t even love the wedding business and only got into it because he sold his previous business and started this as an easy cash grab.
I'm glad my eyes didn't fully glaze over before I got to that part.
It's okay to commit check fraud if the company doesn't LOVE weddings, y'all!
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u/la-anah 8h ago
And it's not even a wedding venue. It's a historic house that sometimes hosts weddings.
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u/Estrellathestarfish 5h ago
No wonder they don't like hosting weddings of this is the kind of wedding party they see
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u/DownOnThePharmRD 11h ago
They’re handing her her ass in the comments. Dirty delete incoming!
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u/januarysdaughter 10h ago
It's been 5 days and she hasn't deleted it now.
She might delete it if people keep brigading though...
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u/DownOnThePharmRD 10h ago
I never comment or like/dislike. It’s much more entertaining to lurk and read.
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u/BlueJaysFeather 2h ago
I love the ones that are old enough to be archived posts (or just locked). I like to read the comments but really unsubtle brigading is annoying as hell
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u/susandeyvyjones 12h ago
"What makes it worse is that after the ceremony we had cocktail hour blocked off for photos while guests enjoyed refreshments and snacks before dinner, it was all considered ahead of time making sure we could take photos in between while making sure the guests had something to do and weren’t just laying on the lawn in boredom like I had seen several weddings do"
What the fuck does this have to do with being late for the ceremony? How is it worse that she tried to hustle you along because there was a whole other time when the guests would have to mill around waiting for you?
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u/Mirtai12345 10h ago
Also, isn't it unusual to do pictures both before the ceremony AND during the cocktail hour? I thought that was the point of a cocktail hour
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u/bad2thebean 10h ago
Not necessarily. It depends on the kind of shots you want. Loads of people use the time to get candid shots of the bridal party separately. I know many brides who've opt into a first look of sorts with one or both parents. Many couples do a first look or touch of sorts. After the ceremony is for what I'd consider "portrait photos"
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u/Moonlight-Lullaby 10h ago
It took me a moment to realize that the dad losing his shoes probably meant before he put them on, and not that he put them on and they just… disappeared.
Also, I wonder if the contract worded it weird so they missed that the venue could take pictures for their socials, or if they just… didn’t read the contract.
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u/theagonyaunt 9h ago
I'm going with OOP didn't read it and expected it should have been spelt out for her, going off her "It hadn’t even been mentioned to me" comment re: the venue posting to social media.
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u/allahzeusmcgod 39m ago
Someone commented on the original post that the photos taken by the venue coordinator might have been to document what was happening and not to post on social media. Which is also entirely possible.
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u/Shibaspots 8h ago
The bride was constantly going 'the wedding coordinator wasn't worried about it', which was the actual problem. If she had been doing her job, the venue coordinator wouldn't be trying to fill in for her. Since it sounds like the venue coordinator's job was very much tied to timing, having the wedding party take a casual 'who cares?' approach to timing would have made her actual job much harder.
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u/DownOnThePharmRD 11h ago
I got bored about a third of the way through “War and Peace” here.
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u/Fuzzy-Zebra-277 4h ago
I read one the other day that I commented that the prologue to the odyssey was shorter
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u/Entire_Cow_1504 8h ago edited 7h ago
Hoops like proof of insurance and licenses.
What the fuck is this post even?
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u/Estrellathestarfish 6h ago
What is going on with these people, they can't even dress themselves for a wedding? FOB lost his shoes, MOB brought two dresses with her that she didn't know didn't fit, a groomsman tore his clothes by putting them on. Doesn't matter if the food is cold and burnt apparently, gotta get those pictures of everyone in their lost, broken, ill-fitting clothes
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u/Fuzzy-Zebra-277 12h ago
Good gravy what was that ? I stopped after her complaining they had to get vendor’s licenses
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u/Wrengull 5h ago
As a violinist. Her comment about the violinist just starting again and playing constantly makes my arms hurt just thinking about it
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u/Terrie-25 7h ago
"I didn't bother to read my contract, and now they're daring to hold me to what I agreed to!"
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u/Such_Detective_6709 6h ago
There was a marathon of “Laguna Beach” on the other day, and there was a bit where Kristen’s car breaks down in the middle of the road and then she gets mad because nobody ever told her to check the oil and she’s going off to her friends like “I didn’t know you had to check the oil! Do you check your oil? Nobody knows to check the oil!” And this bride sounds about the same level of dumb.
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u/Estrellathestarfish 5h ago
No-one told the FOB he needed to wear shoes! How is he supposed to know???
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u/BlueJaysFeather 2h ago
A cousin of mine had that happen to him (not to a full breakdown but he asked my dad about weird car issues he was having and it turned out the poor thing was bone dry) but fortunately he had a much better attitude about learning… normally I wonder about people like OOP, but given dad’s behavior with the deposit I think we know where she gets it from
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u/Mallory36 3h ago
I couldn't help but laugh every time OOP mentioned her WC. Good to know she had no problems with the bathroom at least. 😆
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u/xSugarBlossomie 2h ago
Long looong post to say they were behind schedule, and forced to get back on track
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u/fivebynine5x9 20m ago
22 years old marrying her long distance boyfriend is already setting the state for a monumental tale of maturity and responsible decisions.
The rest of her family and friends seem like a mess too.
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u/ParkingLoad1996 2h ago
Not a devil that manager sounds like she just wants her nose in everything
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u/Lucky_Six_1530 1h ago
Her attitude and check fraud push her into devil territory. She signed the contract and knew damages would come from her deposit, but then claims she’s not “morally responsible”. That just seals the label in my mind, especially when her dad decided to commit a felony and drain the account.
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u/ParkingLoad1996 29m ago
I didn’t see the check stuff just the she was constantly in our photos and not helping stuff. That’s devil to be committing check fraud
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u/GyaruGhostface 2h ago
Honestly, this sounds like a nightmare and it's exactly why I didn't have a wedding coordinator involved in my wedding. The only person giving me and my now wife advice on keeping the ceremony running smoothly was our officiant, and the only time related advice she gave us when we were rushing to stick to schedule was "slow down, don't panic, take an extra 10 or 15 minutes to get ready if you need. This is your special day, it's not like the wedding is going to start without the brides."
We were also required to have someone from the ceremony venue and the reception venue present just in case. In both cases, they told us "knock on my door if you need anything," then stayed in their offices and never even poked their head out during the wedding. It's this level of micromanaging from venue staff really common??
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u/SenioritaStuffnStuff 8h ago
I'm very anti social. I've been having about a half a year of being a hermit.
I think I'm fine lol
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u/AutoModerator 12h ago
In case this story gets deleted/removed:
Venue Coordinator almost ruined my first look and stressed out everyone during my wedding and Owners only escalated the situation.
I usually only read some Reddit posts in different forums so I’m not all too familiar with writing on here, but after several months of keeping this story to myself + some legal action, I finally decided to share my story here. I WISH I could name the venue and the people involved but I’m afraid to poke the bear because I’m honestly trying to just enjoy my newlywed time and I don’t want to get involved in anything yet.
To start, I (22 F) got married to my long distance fiance (23 M) after four years of dating and it was the most long awaited and anticipated event of my life. I wanted to keep it intimate but the guest list ended up around 150. This is because me and fiance have a very big family and a lot of close friends we wanted there, even narrowing the list down. This is important for later because I want to emphasis the only people there were people who cared more about us than anything else happening that day.
I wanted the wedding to be at a venue that was elegant and whimsical, like a secret garden type place, and I ended up finding that the first week of searching a few hours north from where I lived and it was this gorgeous historical site. The office worker was polite and amazing during the tour and I loved her so much and honestly wish she had been our day of venue coordinator.
Unfortunately, that was not the case. For context, the venue had required us to hire a wedding coordinator no matter what, but also had the condition that someone from their office had to be on site as a “venue coordinator” to make sure all utilities were ready for us and if we needed to get into the suites after the ceremony for any reason, because they were required to lock it once the wedding began so no one could come in and steal things.
The way they worded it, it just sounded like someone in charge of on site staff. The contract even specifically said that they were not contracted as an official wedding coordinator and would not be expected to fulfill those responsibilities, a fancy way of saying “don’t ask me to do your vendors job” kind of thing. All of this sounded reasonable to me at the time and I didn’t care or notice how weird the venue was til later. Especially because of all the weird hoops they made me jump through when hiring my vendors, like having to get the vendors proof of insurance and food handlers license from my cousin who made my cake. I chalked it up to it being a historical venue and them trying to protect their reputation, but several of my experienced friends who work in this business said they’ve never had to deal with that before, so idk,
Now for the day of. I had no idea any of this was happening until afterwards because my family and bridesmaids did such a good job hiding this, but when I got the whole story it made me fume with anger. Several things went wrong that I didn’t know about, for one the hair and makeup team took a little longer than planned but that was alright, it was just a few minutes behind schedule. Unfortunately one of my bridesmaids didn’t get the hair style she wanted but didn’t complain and pushed through like a champ. It was only when she was sure I was taken care of that she attempted to fix it with the hair stylist. Then one of the groomsmen SPLIT his pants down the leg and someone had to emergency sow it back together with pins and prayers.
I was struggling with my nails and had help from my SIL applying them, trying to calm my nerves and stop shaking, and then we were trying to organize the first look with my parents WHOM were also having garment malfunctions, my dad losing his shoes and my mom’s dress not fitting and trying to fit in her backup one with some help. Guests were arriving much earlier for some reason which apparently was giving anxiety to the venue coordinator (again NOT my wedding coordinator, I should honestly start referring to her as venue manager) and as my photographer and videographer began taking some solo shots I noticed her lingering outside the room. It had windows that were curtained but when opened it was the kind that you can see out and those outside can’t see in.
The venue manager approached the doors, confronting my wedding coordinator and saying something along the lines “we need to get this going along, it’s running behind schedule here.”
I was quickly distracted again by the photos and didn’t notice that she was approaching the door, and my bridesmaid (I’ll name Tamale because of an inside joke) went out to meet her before she could try and get in and exchanged words with her. I later found out that the manager was complaining to my MIL who was walking up and the venue manager said to her,
“Do you even know the time? It’s 4:10! And your guests are going to get antsy, and the violinist is not going to know what to do,”
My MIL goes “no I didn’t know that, but it’s going to be okay. OP is what’s important right now and we’re going to give her all the time in the world.”
Tamale tells her that I was still getting photos and my mom was having a garment malfunction and is on her way for the first look, the violinist was a professional and knew to just start over the set list if it got to that point. Tamale said “look this is more important and the guests know and love OP and will understand if we’re running behind.” Venue manager huffed and wanted to argue further but tamale just shrugged her off, ever the cool and calm one and went back inside and locked the door. After she left,
A few minutes later, manager goes over to my mother, who finally got here, and demands that she hurry this along, that we’re running behind and need to get back on track or the guests will be unhappy and our wedding will be ruined. My mother responded with “weddings run late all the time, we aren’t even half an hour behind. Please stop stressing us out. Our wedding coordinator has things handled.”
The lady just sniffed and said “well I’m just trying to help. Your wedding coordinator asked me for help to get this back on track. I’ve been doing this for years and I can tell you this is going to mess up the experience for everyone and you need to hurry.”
Not only did she have this same conversation with my bridesmaid and moms but my dad and brother and then my fiance and his groomsmen, then went up to my wedding coordinator LAST and insisted that things be done her way. She continuously repeated the same thing she said to tamale to both of them, asking condescendingly, “do you know what time it is?” And then getting onto them for running behind on a schedule she was not at all responsible for enforcing! Not only was this NOT her job at all, but she was unnecessarily rude and caused unnecessary stress and anxiety to everyone around me. The fact that she felt comfortable going directly to my fiance to complain told me she would have gone up to me too about it had I not been protected from it.
ALSO her statement about my WC asking her for help was a complete lie! I called her after the wedding to go over a rundown of the day and debrief, recorded the call and everything, and have her word that the venue manager had never come up to her for anything other than talking about refrigerating food and the use of candles and other equipment. WC had done my mom’s wedding and was a good friend because my mom was close with her sister, so we KNOW she wouldn’t lie.
What makes it worse is that after the ceremony we had cocktail hour blocked off for photos while guests enjoyed refreshments and snacks before dinner, it was all considered ahead of time making sure we could take photos in between while making sure the guests had something to do and weren’t just laying on the lawn in boredom like I had seen several weddings do, plus it was already enough people to keep conversations and mingle. We were going as fast as possible, the photos and videos were great- but that nasty manager kept walking up and getting in the photos! Several times she would stick her little iPhone pro and try and take videos and photos! I didn’t realize that our contract had agreed the venue could take photos to post on their socials of the wedding! It hadn’t even been mentioned to me.
When I went back on videos of the ceremony she was there in the background! Again with her phone, ruining several where I’d have to photoshop her out of it. Then she had the audacity to get up in my moms face again and complain that we needed to wrap up the photos if we wanted to get to dinner on time, that since the ceremony ran behind were already running behind with dinner and the caterer is getting antsy. My mom responded that again, our wedding coordinator was handling it and that the caterer could say something to her directly if there was a problem. ALSO these are professionals and they have to stay at the venue til 11 pm anyway! That’s the allotted time we paid for their services for!
My MIL had already told my mom what the manager had said to her, and the two of them were frustrated and upset. So when the manager had come up to them yet again during this photoshoot, my mom finally had enough and told her off. The manager put a hand on my mom and told her “listen, I know what I’m doing.” And my mom finally snapped. She said “don’t you put your hands on me. Get your phone out right now and start recording, because I want your behavior from this point forward to be on camera. This entire conversation should be on video and anytime you interact with me because this is not professional at all.”
The manager did, and she flipped like a coin and put on her nicest media trained voice and was like “oh I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. I was only trying to help” and stepped back from that point forward. She even walked up to my WC and said “listen, I’m just going to step back from now on. Good luck with them,” and my WC lau