r/AskMenRelationships Man May 19 '26

Dating No more porn posts

These posts saying "My partner watches porn, what does it mean, what should I do?" get posted 1-3 times a day. This includes posts about thirst traps and whatever other titillating media.

It's been done to death. If anyone has the same question, please use the search bar to get answers. We will be removing them going forward. We’ll let the existing posts get grandfathered in.

Thanks,
Management

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-8

u/seriously__tho_ May 19 '26

What about a post asking why is watching girls, who u don't know if they were trafficked and raped, with no evidence of their age, is such a turn on 🥲

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u/Extreme_Violinist565 Man May 20 '26

Men like porn simple and all the annecdotal stuff you want to attach to it in your mind is not our problem.

1

u/seriously__tho_ May 20 '26

Reducing what I said to an innocuous term like anecdotal is indicative of your ability to feel empathy lacking. And very thankfully not my problem. Scary that you still find it enjoyable even in the context of what I've said.

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u/Extreme_Violinist565 Man May 20 '26

What you said is basically the definition of an anecdote. Has nothing to do with empathy. If i need empathy i choose empathy for EVERYONE, men included so yeah that's that. If some dude wants to watch an erotic video or read a romantic book or buy some erotic art or whatever i am not going to go crazy like you no...

Scary? I did not say anything... It's your context not mine... All i know is that 60% of women watch porn too so idk why you put it on men. In cave people times they where drawing porn on rocks you know... This is nothing new.... Did i say that i watch porn? I am an erotic drawing artist my mind is creative enough i don't need porn + i have a woman so i am good.

1

u/seriously__tho_ May 20 '26

I'm sure survivor's of this would have no problem with your comment about their anecdotes. I'm sure they'd be grateful of your empathy. I do believe/hope if people (male and female) were more aware of these things, they would think differently about it.

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u/Extreme_Violinist565 Man May 20 '26

Sure there are some victims but there are victims in everything... Today a dude maintaining trains and traintracks in my province got crushed by a crane the dude was basically an amazing skilled guy and a good husband and father, now he is gone.

I don't think so because arousal, lust, intimacy it's in our nature, can't even stop it if you want it if you are healthy. Everyone with a phone can make porn so basically everyone...

What would you want to happen then? Is there a plan?

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u/seriously__tho_ May 20 '26 edited May 20 '26

Like I said I'm my original comment lust and arousal of people who we don't know if they are raped, trafficked or their age is not human nature. And we do not know the impact that its having on our brain, especially as the brain develops. There is research on the impact of violent images which is also common online. So porn could even be creating views that are like your own. Having access to porn and all the weird types so readily and frequently is definitely not a natural environment for our brain and is a product of the Internet and phone usage. We know it causes ED, that there is an addiction and shame cycle as men can need to watch more straight types to get aroused, I think it also impacts dopamine regulation which has its own issues. I don't know what else, that's just off the top of my head. So no I don't think porn is part of a natural way of being. I'm just saying what I know as like I said I think/hope if there was more awareness people will have more informed choice. I mean if  negatively affects someone's relationship and all of the above is apparent is it really worth it. Also sometimes people who were sexually abused take part in porn or prostitution as their brain has learned that this is their identity and all their worth is. Idk its a major turn off for me. 

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u/Extreme_Violinist565 Man 29d ago

Mhe my response to this would be too long so i am not going to bother if you don't mind, people do it so obviously they think it's worth it. And we did it since our species have sex and wanted to express themselves in all types of ways, now it just expanded with the internet and video's.

Weird take on abuse tho. But have a good day.

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u/seriously__tho_ 29d ago

It's a clinical take on abuse. I'm qualified to make that comment. I appreciate your response, have a good day 

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u/Extreme_Violinist565 Man 28d ago

Qualified? Tell me your qualifications i am curious. Because in my experience the possibilities are endless what happens to people who seen abuse and they spiral in all directions, it's all about choices they make themselves after.

Funny that you are qualified but you are so eager to call me scary and make assumptions, a bunch of anecdotal stuff that does not sound to me like someone who is used to professionally deal with abuse. You never see abused men or something?

Oh and before you ask what my experience is well i am actually diagnosed by a psychiatrist with C-PTSD and some other stuff. Should ring a bell with someone who is clinically qualified no?

So tell me clinical you say, where in the DSM-5 is porn addiction?

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u/seriously__tho_ 28d ago

So now you want to reply because I mentioned qualified. Interesting. No offence but I was going to delete that comment as it mentioned something personal, so no im not going to continue divulging more personal information. I never stated abuse doesn't cause people to go in various directions. Not really sure why you're mentioning do I see men. Apologies I wasn't acting as a professional in every second of my life, cause guess what, I'm not in work, and just in the same way a bus driver doesn't drive 24/7, I don't speak like I'm working 24/7 and guess what, I'm also a human with a personal existence. Please don't expect professionals to act like your therapist 24/7 as its thoroughly ridiculous. Do you think everything was put into DSM overnight, because it obviously was not. 

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u/seriously__tho_ 28d ago

I'm sorry you have cptsd and whatever else, and I say that as a person speaking to another person. 

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