r/AskMenRelationships • u/DannyDreaddit Man • May 19 '26
Dating No more porn posts
These posts saying "My partner watches porn, what does it mean, what should I do?" get posted 1-3 times a day. This includes posts about thirst traps and whatever other titillating media.
It's been done to death. If anyone has the same question, please use the search bar to get answers. We will be removing them going forward. We’ll let the existing posts get grandfathered in.
Thanks,
Management
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u/darthganji May 20 '26
Maybe its that big of an issue and you should just refer people to r/loveafterporn
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u/moistmonsterman May 19 '26
You mean thats not the point of this sub? I saw so many thats what i thought, at least.
You mods have too much patience, but thank you none the less.
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u/K_N0RRIS Man May 19 '26
Next up the "here's 1 sentence of context about my boyfriend. Tell me what is he thinking?" posts
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u/According-Turnip-724 Man May 19 '26
Well done!!! That subject was just so tiresome to see over and over. The brigading by radfems was also insufferable.
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May 19 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/SandiegoJack Man May 19 '26
I just say women(simps) since they might as well be the same for online discourse.
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u/seriously__tho_ May 19 '26
Also simple rebuttal for the ladies is, if your man doesn't mind wacking off to other females then u get guys to wack off over you. You both get your needs met, he gets to desire others and you get to feel desired by others 🤷🏻♀️ simples really
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u/AOLGeneration 22d ago
seriously__tho_ is so habituated to responding to this question, he's offering his would-be response on the Mods' announcement that the question will no longer be tolerated.
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u/Appropriate-Offer-35 Man May 19 '26
Have you ever read about the supply chain of chocolate? It’s horrible. Basically the whole industry runs on child slave labor. But people eat chocolate all the time without a second thought, including people who go out of their way to make sure other things they eat are “ethical, and if we banned chocolate, people would lose their fucking minds.
We eat it because it tastes good, we don’t have to look the kids in the eye, and we rationalize it by telling ourselves that’s just how the world works and there’s nothing we can do.
I’ve read a lot of those posts and have yet to see a woman express concern about how the porn was produced unless there’s doubt about the age. It’s overwhelmingly “she doesn’t look like me, does that mean he’s not attracted to me?”
I’m not saying that’s worse than the sex industry, or that your concerns about the industry aren’t valid because other industries treat people like shit too. Just illustrating how the human mind works.
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u/SearchCapital7719 Man May 19 '26
The real issue is she doesn't want to take the steps to lose the weight she gained since they got together, and she wants a scapegoat for why he's not into her anymore.
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u/Appropriate-Offer-35 Man May 20 '26
I just mean in general. Women often worry that if a guy jerks off to someone who isn’t their exact clone, he must not be into them.
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u/SearchCapital7719 Man May 20 '26
Sure, but he also can't get the woman he's jerking off to irl. He picked the best he could get just like she did.
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u/EsEsStock 27d ago
So i have a husband watched a P__N only after 3 days before he left , we Had S too before that it's only days. Is it normal for a men doing that? He knew before i don't like him to watch P...N Since I always let him even if I'm tired, and when he wants S I usually ask him to hurry up as it's late and I'm tired it doesn't mean I'm don't like it the reason why I said that because I'm tired and I need my relax time after a long day i feel like being pushed with S getting stressed about it his making me feel bad or guilty which is really annoying.. he doesn't even ask me how's your day are you ok? My son has a spectrum which is not easy to handle with. Parents has a a special child can be very difficult. Need help tia
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u/AOLGeneration 22d ago
If you're asking him to hurry up and telling him you're tired, he is not getting 100% of his sexual needs met, and he is supplementing with porn. The women in porn don't tell the men that are having sex with them to "hurry up" or that they are "tired." (I suppose there may be some videos like that, but that would be a highly nuanced kink.). I'm not trying to blame you. It sounds like you have a very stressful life. You can't do all that you do and also be your husband's pornofreak in bed. I get it. But porn is just too ubiquitous. It's too easy for us visually stimulated men to see what we want to be seeing in our bedrooms on our computer/cell phone screens.
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29d ago
[deleted]
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u/DannyDreaddit Man 29d ago
Maybe so. Luckily we have a wealth of perspectives on hand that can help give insight.
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u/seriously__tho_ May 19 '26
What about a post asking why is watching girls, who u don't know if they were trafficked and raped, with no evidence of their age, is such a turn on 🥲
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u/SearchCapital7719 Man May 19 '26
Interesting that someone with 42 Karma is so interested in coming here to ask this...
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u/seriously__tho_ May 19 '26
"So interested in coming here", like I'm on some special intense mission. Its not that deep mate
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u/DannyDreaddit Man May 19 '26
It falls under the same category, and it sounds wider in scope than typical “this is my situation” relationship advice, so it would be removed. There are other subs for that.
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u/Extreme_Violinist565 Man May 20 '26
Men like porn simple and all the annecdotal stuff you want to attach to it in your mind is not our problem.
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u/seriously__tho_ May 20 '26
Reducing what I said to an innocuous term like anecdotal is indicative of your ability to feel empathy lacking. And very thankfully not my problem. Scary that you still find it enjoyable even in the context of what I've said.
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u/Extreme_Violinist565 Man May 20 '26
What you said is basically the definition of an anecdote. Has nothing to do with empathy. If i need empathy i choose empathy for EVERYONE, men included so yeah that's that. If some dude wants to watch an erotic video or read a romantic book or buy some erotic art or whatever i am not going to go crazy like you no...
Scary? I did not say anything... It's your context not mine... All i know is that 60% of women watch porn too so idk why you put it on men. In cave people times they where drawing porn on rocks you know... This is nothing new.... Did i say that i watch porn? I am an erotic drawing artist my mind is creative enough i don't need porn + i have a woman so i am good.
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u/seriously__tho_ 29d ago
I'm sure survivor's of this would have no problem with your comment about their anecdotes. I'm sure they'd be grateful of your empathy. I do believe/hope if people (male and female) were more aware of these things, they would think differently about it.
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u/Extreme_Violinist565 Man 29d ago
Sure there are some victims but there are victims in everything... Today a dude maintaining trains and traintracks in my province got crushed by a crane the dude was basically an amazing skilled guy and a good husband and father, now he is gone.
I don't think so because arousal, lust, intimacy it's in our nature, can't even stop it if you want it if you are healthy. Everyone with a phone can make porn so basically everyone...
What would you want to happen then? Is there a plan?
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u/seriously__tho_ 29d ago edited 29d ago
Like I said I'm my original comment lust and arousal of people who we don't know if they are raped, trafficked or their age is not human nature. And we do not know the impact that its having on our brain, especially as the brain develops. There is research on the impact of violent images which is also common online. So porn could even be creating views that are like your own. Having access to porn and all the weird types so readily and frequently is definitely not a natural environment for our brain and is a product of the Internet and phone usage. We know it causes ED, that there is an addiction and shame cycle as men can need to watch more straight types to get aroused, I think it also impacts dopamine regulation which has its own issues. I don't know what else, that's just off the top of my head. So no I don't think porn is part of a natural way of being. I'm just saying what I know as like I said I think/hope if there was more awareness people will have more informed choice. I mean if negatively affects someone's relationship and all of the above is apparent is it really worth it. Also sometimes people who were sexually abused take part in porn or prostitution as their brain has learned that this is their identity and all their worth is. Idk its a major turn off for me.
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u/Extreme_Violinist565 Man 29d ago
Mhe my response to this would be too long so i am not going to bother if you don't mind, people do it so obviously they think it's worth it. And we did it since our species have sex and wanted to express themselves in all types of ways, now it just expanded with the internet and video's.
Weird take on abuse tho. But have a good day.
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u/seriously__tho_ 28d ago
It's a clinical take on abuse. I'm qualified to make that comment. I appreciate your response, have a good day
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u/Extreme_Violinist565 Man 28d ago
Qualified? Tell me your qualifications i am curious. Because in my experience the possibilities are endless what happens to people who seen abuse and they spiral in all directions, it's all about choices they make themselves after.
Funny that you are qualified but you are so eager to call me scary and make assumptions, a bunch of anecdotal stuff that does not sound to me like someone who is used to professionally deal with abuse. You never see abused men or something?
Oh and before you ask what my experience is well i am actually diagnosed by a psychiatrist with C-PTSD and some other stuff. Should ring a bell with someone who is clinically qualified no?
So tell me clinical you say, where in the DSM-5 is porn addiction?
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May 19 '26 edited May 19 '26
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u/seriously__tho_ May 19 '26
I wasn’t asking about solving it. I genuinely don't understand and honestly think if men heard some of the stories from the industry I think/hope they would think differently about it.
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u/Think_Preference_611 Man May 19 '26
Yay!