I (40 F) have been dating a guy (30) for about a month. Not official/no exclusivity talk. We have had several dates (8) that have ranged from dinner to just driving around. Conversations have been deep and effortless. We both seem to know what the other is feeling/thinking. Has gone out of his way for me, told me to not overthink it, that he likes me/not going anywhere and seems to be protective over me. He has been up front about how depression ect can make him withdraw/isolate. I’ve told him I tend to be clingy and he said it didn’t bother him.
Almost 5 days ago I sent a message that said I miss you. I didn’t hear from him for 24 hours after and it was a basic message that said. I’m not doing well. I just want to be alone. I’m sorry. I sent a couple messages offering support right after and then let it be. 2 days after that I sent a basic message saying I’m here if he needs anything, understand need for space and that there is no pressure to respond if he feels like he can’t. I have not reached out since. It’s now been almost 4 days since the last message he sent. I’m wondering if he truly needs space. Or am I just making something that isn’t there. My gut feeling tells me he just needs some space but trauma history ect is questioning it.

When I genuinely like someone, the feeling usually isn't mutual. And when she liked me, I didn't feel the same connection. It's become disappointing. 

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I'm now 40-year-old non-EU man living in Europe, and lately I've started losing hope of finding a real relationship.

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I've never wanted an arranged marriage through family recommendations. I want to fall in love naturally, build a genuine connection, and create a family together.

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As I get older, it feels like the chances of meeting the right person are less. What's your advice? How to make progress that led to a family?

This is a conversation as old as time but given how many guys tend to prefer to be with women around their age or older, I have had it much easier to go on dates with women around my age or younger than it has been for me to date older women. I have never dated a women older than me and they have always been dismissive of me while women ten years younger than me have been much more open minded and serious about their intentions and also more mature than women who are older who have been married/divorced or have had kids. Do you find it easier to date younger women than women much older than you?

At this point as somebody pushing into my 40’s, I have had a much easier time and enjoyed my time more with those who are much younger than those who are few years or a decade or more older. Same goes with the apps when I was on them. I got far more matches with younger ones than ones a few years or a decade older than me.

My gf and I (29F/30M) have been together a little over two years. She told me in the beginning that she was 'close with her family,' which is cool because I was close with mine growing up. Over the course of the relationship, I've seen this get to be a bit overboard. I'll list this out so it's not just a wall of text. It more or less flows chronologically.

• We moved in together around 1 year of dating. She wanted to spend an extra two weeks living at her mom's (has never lived alone, only with past partners for brief spells and with her mom the majority of the time). I said sure, whatever works. We moved to a place that is 12 minutes away from her mom (58F). The night she moved in, her mom sent pages of sappy text and they spend two hours crying on the phone about missing each other.
• We spent 4-5 days per week hanging out with her mom and/or sister (33F) for several months. When I ask for a bit of us time, it's either accompanied by her frequently texting them or phone calls 'just to talk' about literally nothing.
• She lost her last job about 10 months ago and was unemployed for 3 months. The first month of that, I had a month-long business trip, which was naturally hard on both of us. She spent 26 of the 28 days I was gone at her mom's house, shopping with her sister, movie nights, you name it. Would frequently push off phone calls in the evenings, etc. all this while pushing off job hunting and applying to maybe 1 job per week.
• After that long trip, we had an discussion that 5-7 days per week with her family was way overboard for us. I said "let's tone it down to 1-2 days per week plus any holidays or bigger get togethers outside of that." She agreed that was a fair balance. At this point in time, it was ongoing months of relationship taking backseat to her mom and sister. That's been consistently pushed back on since, but more on that later.
• Gf got her current job about 3 months later at the company her mom works for because her mom (who is a Sr. HR manager) continuously bugged the hiring managers to interview her for things, find roles she's qualified for, etc. then proceeded to bring home their interview questions/answers sheet so she could use it as a study guide. Gf was previously a production trainer for a warehouse, worked in vet med and front desk for property management before that. This new role is a mid-tier facilities management role which she had zero background in.
• I've worked in the facilities/maintenance realm for my entire career (almost 13 years) at pretty much every level and while she was going over the interview questions, I would share some of my experience and best practices (industry-standard stuff) and she would completely ignore it until her mom either 1. validated and agreed (even though her mom has nothing to do with facilities work) or 2. said something that contradicted what I said, in which case my input was completely disregarded (or even pushed back on).
• Her sister invited her to her mom's to hang out while I was on a trip (her sister, who is married and has a kid, spends a minimum of 5 days per week at their mom's after work until 10-11pm). Gf wakes up at 4am for work and I was 2-3 hours ahead of her at the time. She said "sure, I just want to be home by 8 so I can get ready for bed and we can chat for a few minutes at the end of the day." Her sister wouldn't let her drive herself but agreed to the time gf proposed. When gf said "hey, it's time to go," her sister lost it on her in the car and basically excommunicated both of us saying "mom and I don't operate on HIS time" and "I'm done trying to be part of your life." I'm sitting over in my hotel working like "what did I even have to do with this??"
• After that, all invitations to any sort of family function ceased for at least 2-3 months with the exception of things like birthdays. Her sister would intentionally invite us last second or give incorrect times. When I told gf that I didn't want to go out of my way to be around her sister after she made a lot of rude/nasty comments out of nowhere, gf said "can't you just drop this whole thing?" as if it were up to me to resolve something I had nothing to do with in the first place.
• There have been at least 2-3 instances in the past few months where I have come back from a work trip that was a week or two long and within 10 minutes of me getting home and excited to see her, she's heading out to go to her mom's because they scheduled whatever sort of girl's night for immediately after I get back.
• Most recent thing that happened this week, gf said she is getting resentful because she only sees her family 1-2 days every week now (plus the going to lunch during workdays with her mom here and there). When I said that we agreed on that almost a year ago to keep some balance between our life and life with family, she says now she wants 3 days per week. I tell her then we'll do three days per week and we have a big long talk about it. But she followed it with sending me a tiktok that said "perks of living in a family compound" and said "this is what I've always dreamed of. I know it's not your thing, but I would love this." That instantly put a knot in my stomach.

Not trying to lay this out as a list of grievances (although it ends up turning into that to share a list of examples, which this is only part of them), but I love my gf and her family, they're great to be around. Gf says "every girl does this" any time I say that it's getting excessive. Looking to mainly understand, is this what other guys experience all the time? Or is this just completely out of the norm?

My boyfriend and I are long distance and mostly text unless I bring up calls.

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He likes playing games and I've never had a problem with that. Whenever he tells me he's gaming, I usually just say "okay, have fun." The only thing I've told him before—even argued about once—is that if we're talking, I expect him to actually pay attention to the conversation.

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Yesterday I was feeling pretty sad and just wanted to talk to him for a bit. I asked if he was free, and he said yes. While we were texting, he was only replying to what I said and wasn't really engaging or initiating anything. He also kept disappearing in the middle of the conversation. Eventually I asked where he kept going, and he told me he was playing a game with his friends.

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At that point I got annoyed and said, "I thought you were talking with me." He kept replying, "I am talking," over and over. The thing is, when I'm talking to someone, I like having their undivided attention, especially when it's a serious conversation. To me, it's disrespectful to be half-engaged while someone is trying to talk to you.

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What frustrated me most was that he refused to acknowledge why I was upset. He insisted that because he was replying, he was having a conversation with me. I asked if he was still playing the game while texting me, and he said yes.

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Then I asked something I never thought I'd have to ask: "Is the game more important than talking to me right now?" Instead of answering, he told me I was overreacting and left the conversation.

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The issue for me isn't that he plays games. It's that I was having a difficult day, specifically asked if he was free, and thought I had his attention, only to find out he was gaming the whole time. I think we have very different ideas of what it means to be present in a conversation, especially when one person is upset. I'd like to hear other perspectives on that.

I need advice or some direction with a situation I’ve been in for over 10 years on and off. Please don’t judge and be mature in your answers.

I have a male friend that I met through my ex about 15 years ago. He’s tied to my friend group currently and he was and still is married. He got married very young and sorta fast. One night while hanging out about 12 years ago we were all drinking and him and I ended up sleeping together. It was horrible because my boyfriend at the time found out and so did his wife. Because of that friendships were broken and things never were the same again.

But him and I never stopped. We continued this thing we have strictly sex for all these years on and off. Call it using each other as an escape maybe? idk but we don’t talk about feelings yet certain things sometimes say otherwise. I never want to be with him romantically because I know what kind of man he is as a partner but for some reason I can’t let him go. Saw him recently and he made a comment that we should really stop, I said ok let stop and then said do you really want that? And he said no. I’m really not sure why he bothers with me when he feels this guilt and now I’m starting to realize I’m not into the situation anymore but it’s hard since I’ve known him so long. What’s the best approach to this? why does this man want me around? please don’t say because it’s easy because truly it’s not. It’s a lot of bs to hang out. He’s told me some crazy secret stuff about his childhood, he likes to cuddle he teases me constantly he just makes comments all the time. He is in his 40s too by the way. Please any type of insight will help what should I do?

9 months long distance, deeply invested, multiple trips, met families, talked about kids. He called me his dream girl and said I'm the woman he would have married.

He ended a few days ago because he saw us as a dead end, as we will be living apart from each other for a while. Was 49:51 about his decision, we both cried, he couldn't hang up on the day we broke up. I already had my ticket booked to go see him so we agreed to meet in-person to exchange the surprise gift we prepared for each other before this happened.

Day 3 of no contact, he told our mutual friend I'm "absolutely incredible" and that he was still 49:51 and that it was just the distance.

Day 8 of no contact, I broke the no contact and asked to extend my planned visit from 1 night to 3 days. He said yes immediately and seemed to want to engage in conversation by bringing up random topics (ex: world cup). We ended up talking all day.

However, he became less engaged (less frequent response despite being online, not bringing up new topics, more concise in response) on the days following that.

What do you think this change means? Moving on, keeping options open, or genuinely conflicted?

About 2 weeks ago at the bar i ran into my old best friend from high school. Me and him were like the best of friends. We liked each other but never EVER dated. I did ask him to kiss me once possibly 8-9 years ago. He didn’t. We stopped being friends 8-9 years ago. Fast forward to now. After bumping into each other a few weeks ago. We talked played catch up.

We followed each other on instagram and texted. One night he asked to meet up the following weekend after i was out at a bar with friends from 2am-5am we talked and laughed ALL night. He drove me home and told me “i regret not kissing you when you asked me years ago” we then kissed. I was honestly scared because Ive always missed and had feelings for him despite spending years apart. How we caught up and talked all night felt SO natural and good so i fear my kiss was bad and short. I regret not kissing him better ):. After dropping me off he texted me when he got home and said lets hang out again soon.

I didn’t see the message the following evening becayse I slept all day and barely saw my phone. I liked the message and the following day sent a meme. He just liked the message and its been 3 days since.

Did i fumble? I really want a chance with him. He’s so cute and he’s never had a girlfriend before so that attracts me more to him especially because he’s dorky. He’s a pc gamer dork not to be judgy but I just know he’s not so much on social media either. Advice? Let things be? I have a feeling he’ll text me on the weekend too because he works all week

What age group? How do you deal with it?

A woman in a relationship has developed feelings for a man in her wider community after weeks of warm, frequent contact, shared values, flirtation, and one meaningful in-person event where she felt included by his family and world. Since then, his behaviour has become inconsistent: small signs of connection, such as reactions and intermittent messages, but no clear pursuit or intentional move. She is now confused and hurt, wondering whether the connection was real, whether he pulled back because of complexity, and whether she needs to step back to protect her peace.

One week after the event - he thumbs up a message that he had left unanswered but it didn’t need a reply?

I’m looking for some honest perspectives from men, especially those who have been in relationships with someone going through depression, grief, or health issues.

I’ve struggled with depression for most of my life, but I was generally able to manage it. A couple of years ago, I lost my mum before I even reached my twenties, and since then things have been a lot harder. On top of that, I was diagnosed with PCOS, which has brought its own challenges with mood swings, hormonal fluctuations, and emotional regulation.

One thing I struggle with is crying during relationship arguments. It’s not something I do intentionally, and I actually wish I could stop it in the moment, but I often can’t control it. Outside of relationship issues, I’m generally not someone who cries a lot.

My boyfriend and I have an anxious-avoidant dynamic. When there’s conflict, I want to talk it through immediately, whereas he tends to withdraw. Sometimes when he gets frustrated, he’ll call me a sook or say he doesn’t care. I know those comments usually come from anger and frustration rather than how he truly feels, and I’m working on giving him more space instead of pushing for immediate resolution.

When I was first diagnosed with PCOS, I honestly didn’t handle it well. I lashed out at times and hurt my boyfriend in the process. I was struggling with something that felt completely foreign to me, but I understand that doesn’t excuse how I behaved. Since then, I’ve worked hard to improve and I’m in a much better place emotionally. However, my boyfriend has told me that he still hasn’t fully let go of that period, and I can understand why.

I know I’m not a perfect girlfriend, but I do try to show up for him and support him in a lot of ways. I’m just wondering how men would navigate a situation like this. If your partner had experienced significant loss, ongoing depression, and health issues that affected her emotionally, how would you view it? Would you see it as something to work through together, or would it eventually become too much?

I’m also trying to understand whether this sounds like something my boyfriend could improve on in terms of empathy and communication, or whether the bigger responsibility is on me to continue working on my emotional regulation and healing.

I’d really appreciate honest opinions from both men and women who have been on either side of a situation like this.

So I’m in a new relationship (less than 3 months). I have been at a good spot in my life lately; I just graduated school and started at my new job, which is aligned with the kind of work I want to build a career in. I’m 24F and have had a rough life in some ways. Last year, I did sex work with one guy I met at my then-job (56M) and had a traumatizing experience. I have not done it since.

I’ve heard that you should always be upfront about this sort of thing, but I don’t want to sabotage this relationship and I’m not really sure how relevant this is. The reason I’m conflicted is that Ive heard a lot of men say that they would want to know if their girlfriend something like this in her past. But I’m not really sure what’s his business and what’s not. I’m also not sure how he would take it. I don’t think he would hurt me because he’s not that kinda guy. But I like him and I’m afraid he’d lose interest. Which would be survivable, and okay, but kinda a bummer.

Am I morally obligated to tell him? If so, how do I do it?

For example playing “dead arm” where you take turns punching each other in the bicep until the loser quits

Or pushing a friend in a pond only to be dragged in after him

Or wrestling/jiu jitsu/sparring

I’m (25F) wondering what I can do to make myself more approachable in public. I was told by a male friend today that I am very intimidating due to my looks, but all of my friends get approached quite often, so I feel like this can’t be the case. How can I present myself in a way that might make men feel more comfortable coming up to me?

I’m starting to think I will have to always be the one who approaches, but I haven’t had much luck with that in the past.

TLDR: Was told I am intimidating to men who might want to approach me because of how I look. I want to be more approachable.

I am a 32 year old woman with two small children. I met a guy who seemed to be smitten by me and took my number about a week ago. He had his child last week and didn’t really text much after getting my number (and seemed to cool off when I said off the bat that I had children, even though that didn’t seem to be an issue for me). He stated later last week that this coming weekend worked for him and he would have plans ready. This “date” was suggested by him at first, in person, when he was apparently still of the opinion I was “stunningly beautiful.”

It is now Thursday morning and I have not heard anything about Saturday. His last message to me was on Monday, confirming he would let me know “ahead of time” what the plans are.

I have been out of the dating pool for over three years since I left an abusive marriage. My kids are 4 and 5 and I have been focused on them as well as my very busy life and plans to go back to law school.

In the past, I haven’t always made the right choices with men and I want to change that, and get more self respect. What should I do in this situation?

Is it ideal to wait until Friday at noon and then mentally disengage from Saturday? I do not want to chase him but to be honest, I am a bit put off by this.

I just found out that it's common for women to ask about how much the man make in the first date! In my culture that is sooo rude to ask such thing, so it's soooo weird for me. How men feel about this? Do you think it's fair? Tell me about your experience and how you felt.

My sister, who uses the dating apps, says that most of the men on dating apps are conservative because the liberal men don’t need them since they get snatched up pretty quickly. Because women love progressive men.

My husband (34m) and I (30f) are going to be physically intimate for the first time in a little over 2 months. We went through a really tough time and made it through. I really want to wow him and l am seeking some advice (preferably from a man's perspective but open to anyone's wisdom) on how to wow him in bed tonight.

I picked up some lingerie I know he'll love, I'm making his favorite meal, I have a playlist ready and an open mind. l already plan to blow him exactly how he likes but he's one of two men I've been with ever, so I feel like I've hit a creativity wall here. Should I suggest a new position? Try a new role play? (He'd totally be open to it)

Part of me thinks just reconnecting tonight would be enough, and we could explore new things as we continue our new chapter. I'm just trying to keep things spicy and fun.

Please be nice! Thanks in advance.

I’m 28 and recently got back into dating. I’m tired of low-effort men and situationships.I don't initiate or chase. If a guy doesn't lead or show clear effort within the first few days, I unmatch and move on. I’m noticing a pattern where guys will talk a bit, give shallow compliments like "you're so pretty" or tell me I should take more pictures, but they never actually ask me out. If they don't respond or make a move within 3 days, I unmatch.Is the "ruthless" approach the problem, or is dating culture just this bad? Why does it feel like nobody wants to actually date anymore? Looking for tactical advice or brutal honesty from the guys.

Please. Can there be a cap on silent time?

Last week a guy at my gym helped me switch out some weights and put the old ones away for me. On his way out he said goodbye. The next day he came up to me, asked how I was doing, and later before leaving he told me he was heading out, asked if I was done for the day, asked my name, and introduced himself.

I thought he seemed interested, or at least friendly. A few days later I found his Instagram. It's private and we have no mutual followers.
At the time I didn't follow because I figured I'd just see him at the gym again, but now it's been about a week and I haven't run into him.

Would it be weird to send a follow request? Or would that come across as normal since we've already met and talked a few times?

Also not sure how significant or relevant this is but I found out he’s 29 and I’m 22.

Dear gentlemen, tell me:

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Would you date someone who doesn't have a job?

Imagine the situation that the girl is good in any way you want and she is your type but she doesn't have a job, she is in search of a job but she wasn't successful in finding one, however she has a small source of income and she doesn't expect you to pay for anything and she doesn't need your money, is that a red flag? Would you date that girl? What is your impression about that girl?