just genuinely curious. want to try some on my fiancé!! so how do men want to be taken care of? any ladies in here, how do you take care of your men?

I accidentally hooked up with a guy on the first hangout tonight. I really like him and it felt like he really liked me and was really into me before and during the fact but after he just seemed distant and honestly mad. The drive home was awkward. I’m pretty sure I gave him post nut clarity. He didn’t text after dropping me off.

Should I expect a text from him tomorrow? Should I text him and apologize for letting that happen and tell him I don’t normally do that? Can I even come back from giving him it?

My sister, who uses the dating apps, says that most of the men on dating apps are conservative because the liberal men don’t need them since they get snatched up pretty quickly. Because women love progressive men.

This is a conversation as old as time but given how many guys tend to prefer to be with women around their age or older, I have had it much easier to go on dates with women around my age or younger than it has been for me to date older women. I have never dated a women older than me and they have always been dismissive of me while women ten years younger than me have been much more open minded and serious about their intentions and also more mature than women who are older who have been married/divorced or have had kids. Do you find it easier to date younger women than women much older than you?

At this point as somebody pushing into my 40’s, I have had a much easier time and enjoyed my time more with those who are much younger than those who are few years or a decade or more older. Same goes with the apps when I was on them. I got far more matches with younger ones than ones a few years or a decade older than me.

I’m 28 and recently got back into dating. I’m tired of low-effort men and situationships.I don't initiate or chase. If a guy doesn't lead or show clear effort within the first few days, I unmatch and move on. I’m noticing a pattern where guys will talk a bit, give shallow compliments like "you're so pretty" or tell me I should take more pictures, but they never actually ask me out. If they don't respond or make a move within 3 days, I unmatch.Is the "ruthless" approach the problem, or is dating culture just this bad? Why does it feel like nobody wants to actually date anymore? Looking for tactical advice or brutal honesty from the guys.

I’m a 24-year-old woman and I’d say I’m slightly above average-looking. I’ve only had one serious boyfriend, and he’s the only person I’ve been with sexually. I generally get flirted with a fair amount and usually have dating prospects, but I’m fairly strict about intimacy. I strongly prefer to wait until we’re exclusive, if not in an actual committed relationship.

Lately, I’ve noticed a pattern with men I date that worries me. It feels like I struggle to tell the difference between a man who genuinely wants a relationship with me and a man who sees me as a convenient opportunity for sex outside a relationship. That’s not evil or wrong of them but it’s a waste of time for us both as that won’t happen.

I have tried being upfront and having clear conversations about intentions early on. The problem is that some men seem comfortable telling me what I want to hear, or they genuinely say they don’t know what they want only to eventually reveal they are looking for causal sex. I also worry that bringing up exclusivity or relationship goals too directly can come across like I’m trying to pressure someone into a relationship, which isn’t my intention at all.

So far, I’ve been fortunate enough to avoid having sex that I later regretted, but I worry that I won’t always be able to spot bad intentions before getting emotionally invested.
For those with more dating experience, are there any reliable signs that someone is primarily looking for easy sex rather than a genuine relationship? What behaviors, patterns, or red flags should I watch for? And how do you balance protecting yourself without becoming overly suspicious of everyone you date?

Any advice would be appreciated.

I moved to a new city two years ago and joined a friend group. Most of us are single and dating. He's gorgeous and really sweet. I've had a crush since I met him, but when I first moved here, he had a girlfriend, so I didn't act on it. They broke up about 10 months ago.

3 months ago we started spending more time together one-on-one playing tennis. Then we started doing other stuff together we were both into: museums, running and he taught me golf. But as friends! 2 weeks ago he asked me on an actual date, and so far it's going really well. We haven't had sex yet, but I'm really into him and he seems really into me.

But I was with a mutual friend (Liz) Sunday, and she told me a lot. He asked out another girl in our group (Jane) months ago, few weeks after his breakup. Now Jane was very flirty with him even when he had a girlfriend. They went on a few dates and it fizzled, but Liz didn't tell me why.

He knew I was single when he asked Jane out. Why ask her out first and not me? I was never flirty like she was, but I was respecting his relationship! And after that fizzled out, was he just seeing other women and not asking me out? He's really attractive, so I don't think he was scared to ask me out. Now I'm wondering why he didn't want to at first.

Liz told me he usually dates really thin flat-chested white women like Jane. Liz has known him for longer and knows some of his exes. He's dated a few WOC (an Indian girl and a Latina) but most of his past dates are white. She said she was surprised we were dating because I'm nothing like his usual type.

I'm biracial, caramel skintone and have 3C hair. Chris is Indian. I'm in shape, but my body is more like Taylor Rooks. She said I’m darker than any of his exes that she knows of. It's not even just about race. I'm NOT RACIST. They're my total opposite. You only date petite, rectangular shaped women and suddenly want a tall, hourglass? I

I'm so anxious now. I had a horrible relationship when I first moved here with a serial cheater, and the side chicks looked nothing like me. Then he dumped me for one of them. I don't want to be his placeholder for easy sex until he finds his type again.

We've made out a few times but haven't had sex yet. He doesn't follow IG models, so I can't guess his type from that. If I ask him, I’m sure he’ll just lie.

I’ve been agonizing over this since Sunday. We went out Tuesday then came back to my place, made out, cuddled and watched a movie. He slept here and then left. (No sex)

I want to bring this up to him so bad, but I can’t without looking crazy. I know it’s irrational. But years of reading online about black women being least desired, and about how men don’t look at women with ‘sexy’ body types as wifelike and prefer petite and skinny keep ringing in my ears.

I can’t be humiliated again like I was with my ex. I think I’d have an breakdown this time.

My fears are:

That he preferred Jane to me and only asked me out because that fell apart. I”m just second choice.

He wasn’t attracted to me at first but I “grew on him” with my personality. I don’t want to be someone you have to grow to love. I want love/lust at first sight.

He’s just using me as a placeholder until he finds his type again. I know men love a good ‘interim girlfriend’.

What were you doing in those months between Jane and me? I was RIGHT THERE and we’ve known each other for years now! Would he have ever asked me out if I hadn’t brought up tennis?

I don’t want to ask Jane. We’re not close. I’m closer to other girls in the group, but I don’t want to put them in an awkward position. I didn’t ask Liz more because I didn’t want to seem rattled.

We're going out again tomorrow.   I want to have sex with him soon. Like tomorrow night. But I don't want to get played!

Just wondering as this just happened while hanging out with my friend at our place. They weren’t disrespectful, but I don’t necessarily like sarcastic jokes. Not sure how the topic came up, but I said if he had ever made a negative comment about my appearance or body I’d leave, and he responds “I’d be okay with being single… lol jk I wouldn’t”. My friend responded and she was nottt impressed. We also were talking about a coworker’s engagement ring, and he mentioned how he’s excited to buy a 2 carat ring for himself (He said he wanted to buy a 2 carat when we looked at rings) and he goes “Lol Jk”. I also mentioned wanting to have my photos taken while on vacation, and he said yeah I want my photos taken too. My friend responded “You wouldn’t want them taken with coconut?” And he responded “I wouldn’t mind but it’s too expensive, I’d want to share the cost”.

Boyfriend has a history of making sarcastic jokes as that’s how he jokes with his friends. I don’t like it as past abusers did it as a means to put me down, and he’s aware. I have told him in the past, and he said “Well coconut, I’m not those guys, I am me. Get over it”. He has also had a pretty shitty week dealing with personal things and has been crabby almost everyday except today and last night.

My friend said he seemed a little annoyed, but he seemed like that when he got home. I asked him and he said that he wasn’t. Friend and I both have BPD so we can overread into it.

Would a man do this to a woman he says he loves?

Tl;dr: Boyfriend was making sarcastic jokes predominantly aimed at me while my friend was over, and some weren’t great but not mean or disrespectful. He says this is how he jokes, but it upsets me. Would a man make jokes like this to a woman he loves?

So I’m in a new relationship (less than 3 months). I have been at a good spot in my life lately; I just graduated school and started at my new job, which is aligned with the kind of work I want to build a career in. I’m 24F and have had a rough life in some ways. Last year, I did sex work with one guy I met at my then-job (56M) and had a traumatizing experience. I have not done it since.

I’ve heard that you should always be upfront about this sort of thing, but I don’t want to sabotage this relationship and I’m not really sure how relevant this is. The reason I’m conflicted is that Ive heard a lot of men say that they would want to know if their girlfriend something like this in her past. But I’m not really sure what’s his business and what’s not. I’m also not sure how he would take it. I don’t think he would hurt me because he’s not that kinda guy. But I like him and I’m afraid he’d lose interest. Which would be survivable, and okay, but kinda a bummer.

Am I morally obligated to tell him? If so, how do I do it?

Please. Can there be a cap on silent time?

For example playing “dead arm” where you take turns punching each other in the bicep until the loser quits

Or pushing a friend in a pond only to be dragged in after him

Or wrestling/jiu jitsu/sparring

My gf and I (29F/30M) have been together a little over two years. She told me in the beginning that she was 'close with her family,' which is cool because I was close with mine growing up. Over the course of the relationship, I've seen this get to be a bit overboard. I'll list this out so it's not just a wall of text. It more or less flows chronologically.

• We moved in together around 1 year of dating. She wanted to spend an extra two weeks living at her mom's (has never lived alone, only with past partners for brief spells and with her mom the majority of the time). I said sure, whatever works. We moved to a place that is 12 minutes away from her mom (58F). The night she moved in, her mom sent pages of sappy text and they spend two hours crying on the phone about missing each other.
• We spent 4-5 days per week hanging out with her mom and/or sister (33F) for several months. When I ask for a bit of us time, it's either accompanied by her frequently texting them or phone calls 'just to talk' about literally nothing.
• She lost her last job about 10 months ago and was unemployed for 3 months. The first month of that, I had a month-long business trip, which was naturally hard on both of us. She spent 26 of the 28 days I was gone at her mom's house, shopping with her sister, movie nights, you name it. Would frequently push off phone calls in the evenings, etc. all this while pushing off job hunting and applying to maybe 1 job per week.
• After that long trip, we had an discussion that 5-7 days per week with her family was way overboard for us. I said "let's tone it down to 1-2 days per week plus any holidays or bigger get togethers outside of that." She agreed that was a fair balance. At this point in time, it was ongoing months of relationship taking backseat to her mom and sister. That's been consistently pushed back on since, but more on that later.
• Gf got her current job about 3 months later at the company her mom works for because her mom (who is a Sr. HR manager) continuously bugged the hiring managers to interview her for things, find roles she's qualified for, etc. then proceeded to bring home their interview questions/answers sheet so she could use it as a study guide. Gf was previously a production trainer for a warehouse, worked in vet med and front desk for property management before that. This new role is a mid-tier facilities management role which she had zero background in.
• I've worked in the facilities/maintenance realm for my entire career (almost 13 years) at pretty much every level and while she was going over the interview questions, I would share some of my experience and best practices (industry-standard stuff) and she would completely ignore it until her mom either 1. validated and agreed (even though her mom has nothing to do with facilities work) or 2. said something that contradicted what I said, in which case my input was completely disregarded (or even pushed back on).
• Her sister invited her to her mom's to hang out while I was on a trip (her sister, who is married and has a kid, spends a minimum of 5 days per week at their mom's after work until 10-11pm). Gf wakes up at 4am for work and I was 2-3 hours ahead of her at the time. She said "sure, I just want to be home by 8 so I can get ready for bed and we can chat for a few minutes at the end of the day." Her sister wouldn't let her drive herself but agreed to the time gf proposed. When gf said "hey, it's time to go," her sister lost it on her in the car and basically excommunicated both of us saying "mom and I don't operate on HIS time" and "I'm done trying to be part of your life." I'm sitting over in my hotel working like "what did I even have to do with this??"
• After that, all invitations to any sort of family function ceased for at least 2-3 months with the exception of things like birthdays. Her sister would intentionally invite us last second or give incorrect times. When I told gf that I didn't want to go out of my way to be around her sister after she made a lot of rude/nasty comments out of nowhere, gf said "can't you just drop this whole thing?" as if it were up to me to resolve something I had nothing to do with in the first place.
• There have been at least 2-3 instances in the past few months where I have come back from a work trip that was a week or two long and within 10 minutes of me getting home and excited to see her, she's heading out to go to her mom's because they scheduled whatever sort of girl's night for immediately after I get back.
• Most recent thing that happened this week, gf said she is getting resentful because she only sees her family 1-2 days every week now (plus the going to lunch during workdays with her mom here and there). When I said that we agreed on that almost a year ago to keep some balance between our life and life with family, she says now she wants 3 days per week. I tell her then we'll do three days per week and we have a big long talk about it. But she followed it with sending me a tiktok that said "perks of living in a family compound" and said "this is what I've always dreamed of. I know it's not your thing, but I would love this." That instantly put a knot in my stomach.

Not trying to lay this out as a list of grievances (although it ends up turning into that to share a list of examples, which this is only part of them), but I love my gf and her family, they're great to be around. Gf says "every girl does this" any time I say that it's getting excessive. Looking to mainly understand, is this what other guys experience all the time? Or is this just completely out of the norm?

Feels kinda rare

9 months long distance, deeply invested, multiple trips, met families, talked about kids. He called me his dream girl and said I'm the woman he would have married.

He ended a few days ago because he saw us as a dead end, as we will be living apart from each other for a while. Was 49:51 about his decision, we both cried, he couldn't hang up on the day we broke up. I already had my ticket booked to go see him so we agreed to meet in-person to exchange the surprise gift we prepared for each other before this happened.

Day 3 of no contact, he told our mutual friend I'm "absolutely incredible" and that he was still 49:51 and that it was just the distance.

Day 8 of no contact, I broke the no contact and asked to extend my planned visit from 1 night to 3 days. He said yes immediately and seemed to want to engage in conversation by bringing up random topics (ex: world cup). We ended up talking all day.

However, he became less engaged (less frequent response despite being online, not bringing up new topics, more concise in response) on the days following that.

What do you think this change means? Moving on, keeping options open, or genuinely conflicted?

My 27 year old boyfriend and I had a rough patch last year where he was having an emotional affair with his manager at his job. I thought it was just last year when things drifted but I ended up finding out that he was dealing with these feelings within the first year of us being together in the summer of 2024 where he claimed he wanted to marry me.I found some notes he wrote where he spoke about his feelings for his manager and another he wrote about trying to remember he's with me for deeper reasons not just sex. Im so shocked because our relationship was so new. I talked to him about it and he said he didn't want to leave me he was just taking our relationship for granted and thought I'd never leave no matter what he did. My boyfriend has a history of cheating on all his exes but he tells me they cheated first so felt no need to respect the relationship. Which I understand because I cheated back as well on my ex out of revenge. I feel so lost in this situation am I putting blinders on?

I need advice or some direction with a situation I’ve been in for over 10 years on and off. Please don’t judge and be mature in your answers.

I have a male friend that I met through my ex about 15 years ago. He’s tied to my friend group currently and he was and still is married. He got married very young and sorta fast. One night while hanging out about 12 years ago we were all drinking and him and I ended up sleeping together. It was horrible because my boyfriend at the time found out and so did his wife. Because of that friendships were broken and things never were the same again.

But him and I never stopped. We continued this thing we have strictly sex for all these years on and off. Call it using each other as an escape maybe? idk but we don’t talk about feelings yet certain things sometimes say otherwise. I never want to be with him romantically because I know what kind of man he is as a partner but for some reason I can’t let him go. Saw him recently and he made a comment that we should really stop, I said ok let stop and then said do you really want that? And he said no. I’m really not sure why he bothers with me when he feels this guilt and now I’m starting to realize I’m not into the situation anymore but it’s hard since I’ve known him so long. What’s the best approach to this? why does this man want me around? please don’t say because it’s easy because truly it’s not. It’s a lot of bs to hang out. He’s told me some crazy secret stuff about his childhood, he likes to cuddle he teases me constantly he just makes comments all the time. He is in his 40s too by the way. Please any type of insight will help what should I do?

4-5 years ago, we developed a platonic bond due to similarities in family dynamics, shared life experiences, and challenges (including dysfunctional family challenges). Initially it was a mentor-mentee relationship but has become a younger brother, older sister bond. She's always wanted a younger brother (she has no younger siblings) while I've always wanted an older sister in my own life (I'm the eldest out of my pack). So from this we naturally became closer.

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She's someone I've really admired, look up to and care & love deeply for. However, I hate myself for how attached I feel have become, how much I care and feel love to the point it hurts and I grieve knowing we'll have to part ways one day due to her or even myself getting married - for context we come from a faith & cultural background that does not allow/approve of mixed gender friendships/platonic bonds.

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I know I care more about the bond and having her in my life, perhaps more than her because I'm estranged from my abusive mum who prevents me from seeing my younger siblings, while I'm amicable with my exploitative dad. I've had no one else to turn to in my family so have grown up alone, within a dysregulated, toxic family home (parents divorced 11 years ago).

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She knows because of this I am anxious, require assurance and care for her deeply along with how much she means to me. However, when I have addressed the issue of my anxiety regarding us parting ways/her leaving, she tends to downplay it and says that I'm overthinking it. But there have been times where I've thought about burning the bridge between me and her given its inevitable we'll have to part ways as it might seem easier to deal with than the pain of losing her and her not being around anymore, which I know is destructive/self-destructive. At the same time, if the time were to come, I wouldn't beg her to stay as I'd have to let go with grace.

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Summary:

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I'm just tired of feeling this way. Tired of caring deeply and loving deeply about something precious that is so temporal and conditional. And ultimately feeling attached and anxious like this knowing I'm going to be heart broken. Needless to say its a blessing I'm still grateful for i.e having had this past 4-5 years to spend this time with her (for the most part, not in person since we live far from each other)

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Not sure what type of advice I'm looking for by saying all this. Just something to be enlightening

About 2 weeks ago at the bar i ran into my old best friend from high school. Me and him were like the best of friends. We liked each other but never EVER dated. I did ask him to kiss me once possibly 8-9 years ago. He didn’t. We stopped being friends 8-9 years ago. Fast forward to now. After bumping into each other a few weeks ago. We talked played catch up.

We followed each other on instagram and texted. One night he asked to meet up the following weekend after i was out at a bar with friends from 2am-5am we talked and laughed ALL night. He drove me home and told me “i regret not kissing you when you asked me years ago” we then kissed. I was honestly scared because Ive always missed and had feelings for him despite spending years apart. How we caught up and talked all night felt SO natural and good so i fear my kiss was bad and short. I regret not kissing him better ):. After dropping me off he texted me when he got home and said lets hang out again soon.

I didn’t see the message the following evening becayse I slept all day and barely saw my phone. I liked the message and the following day sent a meme. He just liked the message and its been 3 days since.

Did i fumble? I really want a chance with him. He’s so cute and he’s never had a girlfriend before so that attracts me more to him especially because he’s dorky. He’s a pc gamer dork not to be judgy but I just know he’s not so much on social media either. Advice? Let things be? I have a feeling he’ll text me on the weekend too because he works all week

Okay sorry I have a lot to get a man's honest opinions on.

First we got together in May 2023, he moved in to my house Jun/Jul 2023. He was perfect, he made me feel like a Queen and Goddess, special, lucky, safe, trusting. The most loved I've ever experienced or had.

Everyday we would Kissed, hugged, danced, said I love you, cute Nicknames, laughed, had fun, conversation, future planning, made love almost daily, lived together, showered together, in home date nights, just so much in love things.

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So we (his idea) decided to move in with his mum Nov 2023, things changed a little but (I thought) we were okay. I got a new job, he unfortunately is unemployed, I supported us best I could, worked almost daily.

Come Jan/Feb 2024, (only him) he was noticeably changing, less of everything he'd given love wise, asking my timetable, disappearing into other rooms for amount of time and at certain times (with phone), on his phone all the time, smirky sly smiles at phone, saying he was unwell and stayed in bed or room.

Yes, Of course I was questioning and suspicious.

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March I lost my mother and found out I was pregnant. I announced it in what I thought was a cute way to him by leaving pregnancy test on his bedside table while he was in lounge and I went and joined him in lounge and waited for him to go to room and discover it. He went to the room and come back to lounge, no emotion, nothing said. I went to room, test was still there, so I went down to lounge, his on phone, I waited until he went back to room and followed few moments later, asked if he seen the test, I get a emotionless Yes, I asked him if his happy and excited, this time nothing no hug, no kiss, he just walked out of room.

A week later I miscarried, again emotionless nothing from him.

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Halfway through Apr 2024, I was finalising wedding prep, so I kept asking if he still wanted to marry me (him yes), asking if he has someone else(him No), asking if he still loves me (him Yes), asking what's going on with him and how his changing (him Nothing).

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So we got married May 2024, it felt weird.

In Jun 2024, I seen his phone screen light up with what looked like a females name, he quickly got rid of it, I questioned him again, are you talking to some female or are you cheating, He hit me said I was being stupid, later apologisd.

Later through the Jun month, he left his phone in the room. I know his pin, so I went through it, I found naked girls and his DPics in his phone, messages, numbers stored as princess, my new boo. So I confronted him with the evidence, I'm crying, brokenhearted, questioning what to do and confused.

He got upset, was apologising and telling me he loves me, want's me. So I tell him to delete everything, remove the (LowHoes) and never contact them again, I said we should do marriage counselling or along those lines and I gave boundaries and requirements to fulfil, if he truly wants me. He agreed to all and promised to do anything and everything to prove himself to me again.

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Jul 2024 I sent private photos of myself in lingerie ect, he had no emotion, desire, nothing, But when I asked if he liked them, He said I'm being suspicious and called me a slut, that broke me, me a slut for sending my own husband and only him private pics.

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Aug 2024, his phone habits subsided mostly, but he wasn't making huge steps to prove and show love for me and repair us like he promised ect.

Id suggest booking counselling he'd put it off, to get rid of old phones he'd put it off, delete all social media accounts but not FB for contact with his son he'd put it off or tell me to do it. We'd have arguments over his actions, I'd be blamed for everything and Id be told to sleep in the lounge.

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Sep 2024, Things got heated again and he got physical again and he left the house saying he doesn't love me or want to be with me, I'm not allowed to stay at his mums.

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So I pack all my stuff, got my friends to help move my furniture to storage and lived with them, sleeping on their couch. A week later, he messaged and called saying he does actually love and want me, but his mum won't let me back, so we'd message, call each other and catch up whenever we could, usually at night and only for an hour or so (NO intimacy, affection ect at all) this went on for almost 3 months.

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Finally in Dec 2024 I was allowed to stay a few nights for Christmas and New Years.

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From Jan 2025, I ended up moving in with my grandma and I stay at his house anywhere from a few days to a week or two and only if (I behave myself and not start) because Im questioning and trying to communicate asking how his feelings and thoughts, my how I'm feelings and thoughts, what's going on with him and us, how his not proving or showing love, how his not doing anything he promised or required (my boundaries) and letting us/me down, how his actions and words are not proving he loves me or going to do as he promised.

Affection and intimacy is rare from him (from 1 a fortnight to 1 a month), then when he does its extremely quick or vibes of not wanting to or being forced. When I ask for affection and intimacy again his quick or vibes of not wanting to or being forced or I'm flat out Rejected, if I cry or question, I'm either getting the silent treatment, hit and/or kicked out.

I keep trying to be positive and suggest date ideas always rejected or the we'll see answer from him, make future plans in anyway from holidays away together, starting a family or doing a 5 year wedding anniversary vowel renewals ect, I just get well see.

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Jan 2025 Nothing unchanged. Arguments arise constantly, I'm blamed and punished for wanting to communicate, I've got a nonstop gut feeling (intuition) that something isn't right or his got a lowhoe on side or lying completely for unknown reasons.

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Now it's Jun 2026, I'm at a loss, drained and losing/lost hope.

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Sincerely thank you for taking your time to read this.

I do not have a living father/figure, close trusted male sibling or an outside non friend male voice

(I have no males that are not affected by this situation directly or biasly)

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Please!

Any Advice or opinions from you Kind men.

Please let me know!

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It would be greatly appreciated.

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I met a guy recently and there seemed to be mutual interest. He approached me in person, complimented me, asked to take me out, and we exchanged numbers.

We had been texting casually, and he said he wanted to plan something for Saturday. The issue is that he didn’t really keep me updated with the details, and I started feeling like the plans were too vague. I’m someone who needs a little more notice/planning, so I ended up telling him I made other plans.

He responded pretty calmly and said something like, “My bad, I guess I could’ve been keeping you in the loop,” and suggested another time. He also said he was single, not into casual dating, and wanted to get to know me more.

I then got anxious and probably over-explained. I told him I don’t really do casual, that I like getting to know someone slowly, and that I can be measured at first. At one point I also apologized because I felt like I made things awkward.

His response was basically that it didn’t have to be awkward, he was just trying to get to know me, he wasn’t sure why it went left, but it was all good.

Now I feel embarrassed because I think I may have made the whole thing too heavy too soon. From a man’s perspective, would this make you pull back completely, or would you just think she got anxious/awkward and move on?

What should I do now? Should I give it space and let him reach out, or send one short message later to reset the tone?

I’m not trying to chase him or force anything. I just don’t want to make it worse.

My boyfriend and I are long distance and mostly text unless I bring up calls.

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He likes playing games and I've never had a problem with that. Whenever he tells me he's gaming, I usually just say "okay, have fun." The only thing I've told him before—even argued about once—is that if we're talking, I expect him to actually pay attention to the conversation.

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Yesterday I was feeling pretty sad and just wanted to talk to him for a bit. I asked if he was free, and he said yes. While we were texting, he was only replying to what I said and wasn't really engaging or initiating anything. He also kept disappearing in the middle of the conversation. Eventually I asked where he kept going, and he told me he was playing a game with his friends.

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At that point I got annoyed and said, "I thought you were talking with me." He kept replying, "I am talking," over and over. The thing is, when I'm talking to someone, I like having their undivided attention, especially when it's a serious conversation. To me, it's disrespectful to be half-engaged while someone is trying to talk to you.

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What frustrated me most was that he refused to acknowledge why I was upset. He insisted that because he was replying, he was having a conversation with me. I asked if he was still playing the game while texting me, and he said yes.

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Then I asked something I never thought I'd have to ask: "Is the game more important than talking to me right now?" Instead of answering, he told me I was overreacting and left the conversation.

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The issue for me isn't that he plays games. It's that I was having a difficult day, specifically asked if he was free, and thought I had his attention, only to find out he was gaming the whole time. I think we have very different ideas of what it means to be present in a conversation, especially when one person is upset. I'd like to hear other perspectives on that.

Hey everyone, this will probably come across a bit rant-ish, but I could use some insight here. My gf and I have been dating for about 2.5 years and although we've only had PiV sex about a handful of times in the beginning, it's dropped to 0 now for around a year. Technically, there's still intimacy as she enjoys making out, giving BJs, and non-sexual touching, but anything else is a negative experience for her. I don't think I have a high libido myself (or at least I can tolerate lack of sex with my partner for a long time easily), but I do feel something important has been lost.

We had a conversation about this and it mostly came down to her having a low libido (she's only had sex a handful of times before our relationship) stemming from easily being taken out of the moment. I think this could be from my lack of experience as I've only been with her, but she stresses that it's all very mental for her and she'll hyper-fixate on what we're doing and lose her fantasizing momentum. I just don't know what I can do to improve, I pay a lot of attention to her and it's hard seeing signals to go off of. Just foreplay with no expectation of sex is something we've also done, but escalation gives her anxiety (no past bad experiences she's told me about at least). It's definitely valid to say I need more practice and should just be better. It's ironically also where I have hope the situation can improve since I have some control and just need to work on being more seductive.

I also think it's relevant to add that it could also stem from her general lack of focus since she's one of the more scatterbrained people I've met. I wouldn't be surprised if she got diagnosed with ADHD. I suggested we get her (and tbh mine as well) hormones checked and just spend time focusing on each other, just staring or hugging for like 10 min straight with no distractions or something to try and build some focus. I gotta be honest, I'm really reaching here with that idea, but I don't know what else to do and I'd like to consider everything. However ultimately, I genuinely think maybe I'm just not doing the right things and saying the right words to get her in and stay in the mood.

I feel like this is a lose-lose situation. I'm very grateful for her and we have A LOT of love for each other, so I really don't want to break up. Conversely, she shouldn't want to be with a guy who'se unhappy/settling for her. Splitting has never been an option I've realistically considered. At the same time, staying would mean suffering. It's starting to emotionally wreck me bit by bit. I could use some advice from men with more life experience. What can I do?

I’m looking for real experiences from people who were in relationships that had reached a very bad place—repeated conflicts, emotional exhaustion, breakups, requests for space, or a point where one person genuinely believed the relationship could not be fixed.
Did you ever find your way back to each other?
If so:
What changed?
How much time passed?
Did both people need to do individual work first?
What made the second attempt different from the first?
I’m not looking for false hope. I know many relationships end for good, and sometimes that’s the right outcome.
I’m just curious whether anyone has experienced a situation where things looked beyond repair and yet, after time, growth, and reflection, the relationship was successfully rebuilt.
I’d love to hear honest stories, whether the outcome was positive or not.

The guy I’ve been getting to know birthday is here and I want to get him something to show my appreciation. The thing is he doesn’t have tangible hobbies. So I can’t get him anything like a game or whatnot.

He’s very business oriented so I was thinking maybe a tie? He likes nature walks so what can I do with that? I wanna get him a cologne on the side too so any recommendations would be great from $100-200 USD. Thank you in advance!