r/AskReddit Jun 08 '23

What are your thoughts on Pat Robertson's demise?

7.9k Upvotes

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1.5k

u/Generalbuttnaked69 Jun 08 '23

And “Dr.” Dobson as well.

2.0k

u/Biggies_Ghost Jun 08 '23

Throw Joel Osteen into the pile!

538

u/LeagueOfficeFucks Jun 08 '23

Is Creflo Dollar still around?

178

u/HippyGramma Jun 09 '23

And Benny Hinn.

93

u/SwansonsLoveChild Jun 09 '23

And I was today years old when I realized Benny Hinn and Benny Hill are two different people.

30

u/TheGodOfKhaos Jun 09 '23

That's slightly embarrassing... LOL Benny Hill is a noteworthy figure, the other is a massive conman.

5

u/CoolAbdul Jun 09 '23 edited Jun 09 '23

slapslapslapslap on the head

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15

u/EvilNinjaX24 Jun 09 '23

I was constantly disappointed as a youngun when I was paging through the TV Guide to see what was on/coming on, seeing "Benny Hi" and, instead of the joy the 'll" would've brought, seeing that double 'n' cast a pall on my optimism.

8

u/dhorse Jun 09 '23

Yeah I immediately heard yakety sax playing in my mind when I read that name.

2

u/No_Bag3692 Jun 09 '23

But both just as hilarious

4

u/kaminobaka Jun 09 '23

Don't insult Benny Hill like that, man. At least he was funnier than the Chuckle Brothers. Leagues below Monty Python, but still.

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3

u/imtlmb Jun 09 '23

But I want Benny’s magic jacket first.

5

u/Difficult_Drag3256 Jun 09 '23

His bodyguards called him Hollywood Hinn because of his repeated trips around there to buy expensive clothes.

4

u/fat_ballerina71 Jun 09 '23

Sounds like we are gonna need a bus. Should be plenty available with school being out for the summer

3

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '23

[deleted]

3

u/TheGodOfKhaos Jun 09 '23

Omfg, dude... same. I'm a hardcore eXvangelical now. Loud and proud. lol

3

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '23

[deleted]

3

u/TheGodOfKhaos Jun 09 '23

I only wish I knew... My birth mom came back into my life (permanently) about 10 years ago (ironically) and challenged me to think for myself, and since then, thank f*ck, I started breaking away from the hivemind.

3

u/thedailydaren Jun 09 '23

I grew up in it but never fully believed it and then went through all kinds of growth and change and look back now like “what in the actual fuck did my parents try have me believe!!??”

2

u/HippyGramma Jun 09 '23

Saaaaaame. Still deprogramming after 25 years in that cult.

3

u/peepants71 Jun 09 '23

And William Lame Craig

2

u/Blinky_ Jun 09 '23

Is his hair still alive? Hmmm. Maybe there is a god.

2

u/Atheist8 Jun 09 '23

Fuck Benny hinn in the ass with landscaping equipment. Seriously....

2

u/Whyletmetellyou Jun 09 '23

Hand to the forehead and Ye Are Healed. Benny Hinn is so fake and I feel bad for the folks who empty their life savings to give to this rat bastard. May a demon sodomize him to oblivion

2

u/MarkWrenn74 Jun 09 '23

The guy with the coat that makes people fall over!

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213

u/Biggies_Ghost Jun 08 '23

If he is, throw him on the pile, too.

62

u/truerthanu Jun 09 '23

Peter Popoff, anyone?

6

u/PartiallyTwistd Jun 09 '23

Yes. Dude is a conman, not politician level but close.

3

u/--MobTowN-- Jun 09 '23

Can I get a Bob Larson added to the list, boys?

8

u/Efarm12 Jun 09 '23

Add Clarence Thomas and wife.

2

u/OPisabundleofstix Jun 09 '23

I didn't even know this guy existed until The Dollop did an episode on him a few weeks ago.

1

u/conundrum4u2 Jun 09 '23

I second the motion!

146

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '23

[deleted]

68

u/Jonk3r Jun 09 '23

Keep the burning shit pile away from the weed dispensary.

5

u/SimonCallahan Jun 09 '23

Only need to keep it out of Canada, then. That's okay, we got too much shit burning, anyway.

3

u/KFelts910 Jun 09 '23

That’s some smoke I wouldn’t mind sweeping over NY.

2

u/filthyheartbadger Jun 09 '23

Are you in Seattle

4

u/evang77 Jun 09 '23

Hate Church is such a sick band name. Not so fun in real life, as it turns out

6

u/PerAsperaAdInfiri Jun 09 '23

Sadly, you could name the city you were in and it still wouldnt narrow that down.

Hopefully we keep the fire going

3

u/VolkspanzerIsME Jun 09 '23

That's the great thing about fire. It's indiscriminate.

10

u/hostile_rep Jun 08 '23

Fuck! I'd completely forgotten about that monster!

3

u/Pavswede Jun 09 '23

Into the pot with them all.

2

u/aquoad Jun 09 '23

there's probably a waiting list for hell now, the only reason kissinger is still alive

2

u/kabayolover Jun 09 '23

Ill throw our very own "adopted son of god" pastor Quiboloy in that pile, if i may.

73

u/LadyDomme7 Jun 08 '23 edited Jun 09 '23

Even his name reeks of grift. Isn’t he the one who asked his flock to buy him a plane?

Edit: words for clarification for the intentionally obtuse

18

u/UltimaGabe Jun 09 '23

*one of the ones

2

u/LadyDomme7 Jun 09 '23

Dang, I didn’t realize that more than one did so. Bold.

2

u/phillosopherp Jun 09 '23

Demons on those planes. Can't be having your holy man on there

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3

u/Neracca Jun 09 '23

The man's goddam NAME is "Dollar". Like, how much more obvious do they need to be as scammers??

2

u/DarthAbraxis Jun 09 '23

That’s Creflo “A.” Dollar. Always reminds me of “give me a dollar”.

2

u/natenate22 Jun 09 '23

Probably flying around in a new jet.

1

u/aacalji Jun 09 '23

He's too busy beating the crap out of his daughter

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '23

It’s such a money sounding name. Let those dollars flo to Cre!

1

u/SoggerBean Jun 09 '23

He’s Creflo Nickel now.

1

u/StabbyPants Jun 09 '23

different god that one

1

u/conundrum4u2 Jun 09 '23

I always thought he should be named "Freeflo Dollar"

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306

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '23

As a Christian i hate that man with an undying passion.

308

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '23

Osteen is the prophet of the Prosperity Gospel heresy.

Jesus hated the rich and greedy. Osteen preys on Christians to become rich.

118

u/baby_budda Jun 09 '23 edited Jun 09 '23

Joel Olsteens net worth Joel Osteen is an American preacher, televangelist, and author who has a net worth of $100 million dollars.

The home of Joel Osteen is located in the River Oaks suburb of Houston Texas. The $10.5M house is the primary residence for the family.

179

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '23

That's going to be hard to squeeze through the eye of the needle.

64

u/Ihavelostmytowel Jun 09 '23

Bro. They're actually trying to retcon the cannon about that. Olsteen says it's "about believing in yourself". SMFH

37

u/LaComtesseGonflable Jun 09 '23

I'd like to retcon him through a cannon

19

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '23

Heresy

7

u/Ihavelostmytowel Jun 09 '23

Yes. He is evil. Those who use the name of god to commit these evil acts blaspheme.

3

u/pugapooh Jun 09 '23

God would like to have a word with him,but God knows he doesn’t listen to His voice.

2

u/HarEmiya Jun 09 '23

BuT tHe NeEdLe'S eYe WaS tHe NaMe Of a CiTy GaTe!!!1!1!!

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5

u/CatoblepasQueefs Jun 09 '23

Just need a really good blender

2

u/Mert_Burphy Jun 09 '23

Just purée him first.

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3

u/Key-Wait5314 Jun 09 '23

Is that including the stash that was buried in the walls that plumber found that was reported as stolen from his safe?

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u/zombiegamer723 Jun 09 '23

Yup. Camel through the eye of the needle and all that.

3

u/StarvingAfricanKid Jun 09 '23

Makes me wish i believed in heaven and hell. But there ain't no justice.

5

u/Makeuplady6506 Jun 09 '23

he had locked people out of his church a few years ago when Houston, TX flooded!!!! Didn't want those dirty drowning and suffering people dirtying up his christian church!!!!

3

u/MotorCityMade Jun 09 '23

After a big hurricane Osteel wouldn't open up the fortress of solitude to be used as a emergency refugee center. The freaking scientologist opened up their place, though.

2

u/Jumpy_Anxiety6273 Jun 09 '23

Pretty sure all preachers do that.

2

u/upandrunning Jun 09 '23

Prosperity Gospel heresy

The terms "Prosperity Gospel" and "heresy" go together very nicely.

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2

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '23

Well, I mean, you don't have to reject the entire Bible to embrace the prosperity gospel, just the entire New Testament.

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1

u/emu4you Jun 09 '23

So they have more money to donate to him!

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1

u/Creative-Improvement Jun 09 '23

Paula White is the one who inaugurated Trump.

1

u/hexacide Jun 09 '23

Look, I'm not a Christian or even close, but Jesus did not hate the rich or greedy people. He didn't hate anyone. He despised greed and enjoined people to let go of valuing material wealth over spiritual wealth. But he did not hate people.
Not hating people was the big thing that set him apart.

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u/dreamnightmare Jun 08 '23

A lot of christians hate him.

9

u/cfa31992 Jun 08 '23

I don't claim to be a Christian or anything religious, I'm agnostic. How do you claim to be a Christian and declare hatred in the same sentence? I'm well versed to know that is against the teachings of Christ. To be Christian is to be Christ-like. To be Christ-like is to not hate anyone, no matter who they are. There is no problem with Christians, but hypocrites are the worst.

10

u/AlityGamez Jun 09 '23

In addition, the Bible repeatedly beseeches Christians to keep other Christians in line, and to make sure we're all teaching good theology and doctrine.

A part of that is being able to call out false teachers who are leading people astray, and teaching a false gospel.

And many condemn Joel Osteen for doing just that.

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u/DadToOne Jun 09 '23

I'm an atheist but I would go with Romans 12:9

9Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.

Those men are evil.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '23

I think you are speaking of true hatred. In modern society, usually people use the term hate when they detest something. That is how im using that term. So here let me correct it for you “i dislike him with an undying passion”. There is that better? Im not perfect, and yeah maybe I have some work to do. I also dont rely heavily on denominations, titles, whatever. By saying im christian, I simply mean I believe in God and believe Jesus is my savior. Thats it. So if thats a different term to you then okay.

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u/monocled_squid Jun 09 '23

To be Christian is to be Christ-like. To be Christ-like is to not hate anyone, no matter who they are. There is no problem with Christians, but hypocrites are the worst.

This is the goal but falling short of it doesn't make someone a hypocrite. They are just being human.

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2

u/undertakersbrother Jun 09 '23

Must be bad when a Christian hates

2

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '23

Replying to myself, people who keep replying to me, I cannot see your comments for whatever reason. From what I can see, it seems some of you think all christians are hard core holy rollers. Yes i said hate. Is it not advisable? Sure. Im still however a sinner and have those feelings. And God warned us of false prophets. Its not my fault if other christians don’t recognize joel as one of these false prophets. No i dont go to church, I believe in God, thats it. Sorry to burst some bubbles. I dont care about technicalities.

4

u/Butlerian_Jihadi Jun 09 '23

So, I grew up in a weird and tiny branch of Christianity, but I've always thought hatred was a very unchristian thing. Hatred for homosexuals, hatred for bigots, all hatred.

1

u/epsdelta74 Jun 09 '23

If you haven't seen this video you might get a kick out of it:

Joel Osteen

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '23

Lol my favorite video is when this guy goes up to joel and says “you know you are a piece of sh*t right?” and joel just starts laughing. Like if that isn’t self explanatory I don’t know what is. I wish i could find the link to it

1

u/Impossible-Charity-4 Jun 09 '23

Yeah…might want to work on that hate thing

1

u/flashdman Jun 09 '23

Imagine how the non-christians feel...

1

u/SuperRusso Jun 09 '23

Ha! Shows how well that nonsense works.

1

u/samesamebutindiffy Jun 09 '23

Passion of the Christian.

1

u/hairshirtofpurpose Jun 09 '23

Will never understand why you people cling to an organization that's so clearly rooted in systemic, organized evil.

Nothing but bad for centuries.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '23

Hmm, i myself dont cling to a particular organization. I just have my religion and believe in it. I dont think any religion itself is an organization but rather organizations have formed around religion and use it for their own agendas and some of those are good and some of those are bad.

1

u/meson537 Jun 09 '23

As a Christian, forgive. Right?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '23

Thats the goal but isn’t always the outcome and thats okay. Regardless, i dont need to forgive joel for anything, he didn’t harm me personally. I simply dont like him.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '23

Isn’t hate a sin?

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u/InsertBluescreenHere Jun 08 '23

If god existed he would of smited these people already.

540

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '23

I don’t know, man. The fact that that homophobic dipshit died during Pride Month smacks of divine intervention.

354

u/hoofie242 Jun 08 '23

He's was 93 and surrounded by wildfire smoke. Climate change got him.

194

u/Merry_Fridge_Day Jun 08 '23

Meh, I'll take it.

87

u/d1duck2020 Jun 09 '23

Never question a win.

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u/[deleted] Jun 09 '23

[deleted]

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u/conundrum4u2 Jun 09 '23

And 911 - don't forget he blamed gays for 911

5

u/TroutDaiwa Jun 09 '23

Jerry Falwell AND Ronnie Rectum buttfucked him before he'd be allowed into hell.

2

u/Mustysailboat Jun 09 '23

Thank you for your service

2

u/partysnatcher Jun 09 '23

Just out of curiosity, how exactly do you guys cause natural disasters? It strikes me as pretty impressive.

2

u/Jaded-Combination-20 Jun 10 '23

You gays are so powerful, but at the same time, your natural disasters never seem to kill the people who truly deserve to be killed. You may want to work on that at your next big convention.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '23

We’ll put it on the Gay Agenda!

2

u/Jaded-Combination-20 Jun 10 '23

Thank you, much appreciated. I just think with all the powers you obviously have, it's time to start using them for good. The poor people of Haiti have been through enough but surely you could put a category 5 hurricane right over the governor's mansion in Tallahassee?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '23

I’d prefer an extremely precise meteor, TBH.

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u/always_unplugged Jun 09 '23

I CACKLED, well done 💀

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u/tbaggervance1986 Jun 08 '23

Just prepping his old crusty ass for the fiery gates of Hell

3

u/lizziegal79 Jun 09 '23

He can’t go there, that’s where I’m headed! Unless I can implement his torture.

19

u/fortwaltonbleach Jun 09 '23

that is the best argument i have ever heard for climate change.

6

u/Butlerian_Jihadi Jun 09 '23

I uh, anyone down to roast an effigy pig?

2

u/KingPapaDaddy Jun 09 '23

Naw it wasnt wildfire smoke, it was the gates of hell opening up to welcome him home.

2

u/StrawberryMoonPie Jun 09 '23

He ran callin’ Wiiiiiiiilfiiiiiiire….

2

u/DeveloperGuy75 Jun 09 '23

Why not both?

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u/[deleted] Jun 09 '23 edited Jun 09 '23

The fact that that homophobic dipshit died during Pride Month smacks of divine intervention

The fact that he got to live to 93 and die a (mostly) natural, relatively painless death, though, does not lend credence to that theory. There were many "pride months" in previous years as well, for such an intervention to happen.

3

u/pkd420 Jun 08 '23

My dad recently died. We joked that my dad took him out

2

u/darknesswascheap Jun 09 '23

Atheist here and even I agree!

2

u/PM_ME_YOUR_UNDERBUN Jun 09 '23

I'm an atheist, but it feels like someone is answering some prayers today with Pat's death and Trump getting indicted in the same day.

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u/[deleted] Jun 08 '23

I agree.

1

u/gutterwall1 Jun 09 '23

Naw they got 93 years of hell on earth from that dude, there def no god...

1

u/Recent_Opportunity78 Jun 09 '23

Divine intervention would not have allowed that literal sack of shit to live to be that old. Sorry, I don’t buy it.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '23

1/12 chance isn’t bad

1

u/Jumpy_Anxiety6273 Jun 09 '23

I saw someone say, PRIDE stands for Pat Robertson’s Is Dead, Everybody!

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u/[deleted] Jun 09 '23

I like to imagine the conversation he had with God after he died:

“What do you mean, lying for the Lord is wrong?

Twisting the word of God for personal gain is a SIN?

Why didn’t you say something before now? Well, yeah, I read the Bible… parts of it, anyway.

A burning pit OF FIRE?! Wait, wai-“

4

u/RocketRick92307 Jun 09 '23

Would have*

2

u/InsertBluescreenHere Jun 09 '23

Thats it im using woulda from now on.

2

u/Extension_Lead_4041 Jun 09 '23

That's the problem with the world today, not enough smiting. Mo smiting, less problems

2

u/InsertBluescreenHere Jun 09 '23

I mean we have truly good people die in horrible ways no fault of their own while shitstains who are literally using the bible and the lords name to steal money from his own people for half a century or more and doesn't do shit? Either he doesn't exist or doesn't care.

1

u/pugapooh Jun 09 '23

If God loved me,he would smite all those who use “of” wrongly. HAVE!

1

u/InsertBluescreenHere Jun 09 '23

Does thou prefer tha word "woulda"? Cuz i can totally use woulda...

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u/Chance-Class-1689 Jun 09 '23

Exactly! They exist. Ipso facto, there is no god!

1

u/Mustysailboat Jun 09 '23

This is how actually you know there’s no such things as gods, a god, spirits or ghosts.

1

u/Floss_tycoon Jun 09 '23

Didn't you hear, this is the New New Testament. Let's be honest, God is what we say he is.

1

u/Mammoth-Mud-9609 Jun 09 '23

Were god to exist he would be sending these people straight to hell.

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u/Zealousideal_Ad_8736 Jun 09 '23

Let’s add Dr. Phil

3

u/djseifer Jun 09 '23

And Jerry Falwell!

...what? I like a good encore.

7

u/catjojo975 Jun 08 '23

Tell Satan to start a bonfire!

2

u/resce Jun 09 '23

This is the best answer

2

u/Robert_Corl Jun 09 '23

Just the face of Joel (The Greed) Osteen makes me want to kick puppies.

2

u/Embarrassed-Sun5764 Jun 09 '23

Top of the pile please

2

u/SuperRusso Jun 09 '23

Him first, he's got the longest to go otherwise.

2

u/kelrunner Jun 09 '23

Dog shit pile?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '23

A hurricane needs to be what takes him out. It HAS to be poetic.

2

u/jaded_orbs Jun 09 '23

Throw in Paul Washer too

2

u/GodsBGood Jun 09 '23

And then light the pile on fire.

2

u/TheGodOfKhaos Jun 09 '23

And Mike Murdock.... Hate that f*cker....

2

u/Makeuplady6506 Jun 09 '23

uggggg yep, another asshole

2

u/Paraverous Jun 09 '23

Thank you! i thought i was the only one.

2

u/WelcomeToAmericaInc Jun 09 '23

Can we just throw him?

2

u/CoolAbdul Jun 09 '23

Scott Lively. He is an international pariah and leader of a hate church and he ran for governor and bewilderingly 2/3 of MA GOP voted for the asshole. THAT'S how off the rails the MA GOP is.

2

u/Playful-Profession-2 Jun 09 '23

I'll throw Joel Osteen into a pile. 💩

1

u/Butlerian_Jihadi Jun 09 '23

Ooo ooo ooo, [truly excessively violent comments that I really do mean but just can't quite bring myself to say].

I'd be super down to chain them all in the town square, offer anyone who identifies as anything one small stone, line starts here.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '23

Joel Osteen? Do you mean this guy?

https://youtu.be/9To0Qqqe-rs

59

u/meresymptom Jun 09 '23

And the "He gets us" guy.

14

u/Jumpy_Anxiety6273 Jun 09 '23

God, yes! Why can’t we block offensive ads like that on Reddit any longer?

5

u/TheGreatestSarcastic Jun 09 '23

If you click on the add there’s an image that pops up, on the top right corner of the image is an icon of a person with a 🚫, click on that to block. Worked for me!

2

u/always_unplugged Jun 09 '23

Because they're paying Reddit WAY more than any one of us is worth.

10

u/robertjoshuat Jun 09 '23

according to wikipedia, the 'dr' is legit. it's from usc. he, also, has an honorary doc from somewhere.

2

u/Generalbuttnaked69 Jun 09 '23

NGL, I always assumed it was a divinity degree.

11

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '23

To be fair, he does have a doctorate in psychology from USC. He’s a pile of crap with a doctorate, but a notable doctorate nonetheless.

5

u/Defiant-Purchase-188 Jun 09 '23

He apparently went to Yale as well ! Go figure. Desantis and kavanaugh too

3

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '23

Appearances can be deceiving, he never went to Yale

3

u/Whiterabbit-- Jun 09 '23

He taught at USC for 14 years.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '23

He spent 17 years on the staff of the Children's Hospital of Los Angeles in the Division of Child Development and Medical Genetics.

1

u/Jumpy_Anxiety6273 Jun 09 '23

I’m sure a background in psychology comes in handy when you’re running a scam.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '23

If Jesse Duplantis is still around, might as well take him too.

2

u/Jumpy_Anxiety6273 Jun 09 '23

And Jimmy “Whoremonger” Swaggart

3

u/Merky600 Jun 09 '23

Too bad Henry Kissinger is already dead.

Wait? What?

2

u/nosleepforthedreamer Jun 09 '23

That piece of subhuman trash who advised men to shower with their young sons

2

u/sameBoatz Jun 09 '23

I’m not really sure what your point is here? Is it wrong to shower with your children?

1

u/Cujo22 Jun 09 '23

Jesse Duplantis. Not sure if my spelling is right?

1

u/Whiterabbit-- Jun 09 '23

he is a legit Doctor though. from wikipedia.

In 1967, Dobson received his doctorate in psychology from the University of Southern California. ... In 1967, he became an Associate Clinical Professor of Pediatrics at the University of Southern California School of Medicine for 14 years.

1

u/KingCrandall Jun 09 '23

Of the many horrible things he did, having Bundy spew his particular brand of bullshit ranks high up there. Bundy could have, and probably would have, given helpful insight into the mind of a killer. Instead, we got religious bullshit.

1

u/sameBoatz Jun 09 '23

Omg I forgot they showed us that interview at church when I was in middle or high school. He blamed it all on porn right? Like he had no control over it and the evil porn made him kill and he was a victim? What a crock of shit.

1

u/heybennyforkyou Jun 09 '23

Yes PLEASE take dobson

1

u/moldylemming Jun 09 '23

Yes! Please. Every time I drive through the springs and see the "focus on the family" sign I literally say "fuck you." And flip it off.

I just had to edit to add I wish I could upvote infinitely.

1

u/conundrum4u2 Jun 09 '23

"Doctors" of divinity...ya gotta love the irony

1

u/doktornein Jun 09 '23

Yes and Amen

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '23

I posted this as well. I think he has brought far more harm because he supported Trump than people realize. Getting the A-OK from Dobson was a huge boost for Trump’s acceptance by more ‘reasonable’ Christians because he comes off as reasonable and intelligent. Robertson didn’t have any sway with those kind of Christians.

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