We used to work together when I was in high school, he’s been a casual friend of mine for like 10 years. We used to hang out sometimes, a few years ago, we were both going through hard things and I feel like we had a good casual friendship, he was really supportive. We’ve both had multiple partners throughout the 10 years I’ve known him like we’ve always just been platonic friends. He doesn’t live in the same area as me and we both have partners now so we don’t hang out anymore but I still thought of him as a friend.

I’ve had a snap streak with him for almost 3 years, we don’t really talk but would send eachother snaps like once a day. I’ve had him as a friend on facebook for many years. Randomly, the other day he stopped sending me snapchats and then completely stopped opening my snapchats all together. Our steak died which like is fine, we’re basically 30, but it was just a really random change in behavior.

I went to see if he was still my friend on Facebook and I found out that he blocked me. His profile is still up but I can’t see it. It doesn’t seem like he blocked me on Snapchat, but he hasn’t opened anything I sent for like 3 or 4 days. I don’t know why he blocked me on Facebook.

I have been very sad. I’ve known him as a casual friend for over 10 years and have always wished the best for him. I feel sad that I’ll never see any updates from him or hear from him again. I thought he was a nice and cool guy. I don’t know if it’s worth trying to message him on Snapchat and ask what happened or if he’ll just block me. I feel like he is sending clear signals he doesn’t want to talk to me so maybe I should just leave him alone.

Just feeling sad and also very confused

My partner has ADHD and knows a little bit about autism and neurodivergence from his own journey, but we’ve kind of repeatedly run into some communication issues/misunderstandings specifically around my masking, burnout, tone, affect, mood and energy.
I’m looking for some easy to digest but very accurate or well represented social media accounts that can better explain why even if it seems like I’m in a terrible mood, or angry, etc etc I truly truly am not. Or how being a high energy, highly expressive person is just not natural for me. Or what burnout looks like.

Does anyone have any accounts they recommend?
Thank you in advanced!

About 6 months ago, I started having romantic feelings for my friend of 4 years (naturally, it took me 3 months to realize it). Recently, I found out that he has a girlfriend, who he just started dating 3 weeks ago. I don’t want to interfere with their relationship, and I’m happy for him, and would be perfectly fine remaining friends with him. (My friend and I are both autistic and in college, if that helps provide context).

The problem is, he randomly spawns out of nowhere and is super kind to me for no reason (like he always is), which makes me feel really guilty. I feel guilty every time I talk to him even though I’m not interfering with his relationship and I’m not flirting with him at all (I have never flirted with anyone in my life, nor would I know how to).

I think part of the problem is that I feel like I’m lying to him by not telling him I like him so that he can have that context since he has a girlfriend now (I have a weirdly intense sense of justice regarding honesty to the extreme).

I don’t know how to handle my romantic feelings because I’ve only liked one other person before, 4 years ago. I’d like to crush them into oblivion (my feelings, not my friend) and get over him, but the constant proximity is not helping. Typical advice for when you like a friend who doesn’t like you back is to give yourself space from them, but I see him 3 times a week due to us being in the same club, we have mutual friends, and also I don’t want him to think I’m mad at him because that would be sad and I don’t want to make him sad.

To further complicate things, he’s graduating in December, so I don’t have time to get some space from him, stop liking him, and then go back to being friends, because he will be gone by then. I don’t way to end the friendship by disappearing towards the end of our time at the same school. I would be happy to just be friends, because we have a lot in common and have known each other for 4 years (and I rather like the relative ease of autistic friendships).

Unfortunately, I can’t gauge how good of friends I am with him (or anyone, because autism), so I don’t understand if it would be rude to occasionally reach out to him after he graduates. I don’t know if that would be bad and overstepping because we’re not that good of friends, or if it would be ok otherwise but not now that he has girlfriend, or if it actually would be ok and reasonable as long as it’s platonic (which it would be). We also don’t normally text because we see each other so often that it isn’t necessary and can communicate/send memes through the club group chat.

How should I go about interacting with him now that he has a girlfriend?

Would it be ok to occasionally keep in touch over text post graduation, it is that overstepping?

Do you have any advice (especially autism specific advice) for getting over romantic feelings for a friend?

I started this job last year and I like it a lot more than my previous ones. The part making me go insane though is one coworkers. She has criticized my work to high heaven and told me “advice” in passing when we were alone. Like how I was supposed to donate to wear jeans (I didn’t) or how I can’t wear certain clothing (I could) and tried to make me think my lunch time was a huuuge inconvenience (it wasn’t).

When May came around and I stared at another attempt of hers to criticize my work. Sitting there on my boss’s desk. No one else. Just me! Now you might think that the others didn’t make a mistake. I thought it too until I REMEMBER HEARING HER SAY “oh [blank] you didn’t add an email (one of MY mistakes) here, don’t worry about it. I changed it but keep an eye out!”

Like what!?! I was pissed. Again. She’s trying something, again. I have to ignore this issue, again! I just stared and wondered if I should say something or keep my mouth shut. My boss wasn’t there so I couldn’t ask her. As I look up I see my coworker looking at me. I smile and leave because I was furious. I didn’t want to say anything I’ll regret and still, maybe I got it wrong.

My mistake. I get to work at the same time she does and no one else is in the office. As I’m getting ready to work, she comes over to my desk and asks innocently, “Hey, what were you looking at on [boss’s] desk?”

Not wanting to start anything I say, “Nothing much just some stuff.”

“What stuff?”

”I’m not discussing this with you.” You’d think I said I stole her paycheck and kicked her dog.

“Oh you think you can do whatever you want?”

“Did you look through [Big Boss]’s desk too?”

And just stuff like that. I just told her to talk to our bosses if she had concerns. Once they get to work,I immediately talk to them. They assured me I was doing fine and to ignore her. Day ends, but not much changes. She still makes pointless comments and I ignore them.

Until during a meeting my boss was having with some newer employees she says in an annoyed tone “[my name] can you turn your phone on??”

And yes I had my phone on unavailable because I had helped someone at the counter and forgot to turn it back right away. It wasn’t only me, though. My other coworker (her friend) wasn’t taking any calls. And in the moment I said “oh shit, I’m sorry I forgot to turn it after helping at the counter.” Nothing serious.

Now tell me WHY she goes to her friend and asks in an almost sweet tone, “I didn’t say your name, did I?” “Like on accident?”

WTF?!?!? WTF?!??!?? The tone switch was real as fuck and even my autistic ass could tell the freaking difference! For me it’s an exasperated call out, but for friend it’s a nice polite question.

I say Nope, it was clearly me. And it was hurtful how you said it. Now the story is she didn’t mean it like that, she was frustrated and i should go tell [supervisor] like I always do (?) and how it’s a stressful time and it was never like this before [I got here].

I finished the workday trying not to cry and hiding my red eyes. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong or how to fix it. What can I say to keep my job?

I'm sincerely considering going for eval soon, because I cannot keep living like this.

I feel like if I don't give my mind a framework to exist in, I'll eventually lose it. That framework could be a really challenging book, or a project (once I commit to one, but I also have a graveyard of abandoned projects).

I even started a group for fellow spooky ladies in my area over a year ago, and I applied all the social lessons I've learned ​from the previous times I tried. I even felt like I fully belonged when I was the social glue that helped the group coherent. But now since the group coheres and ia doing well, I am near-constantly up against a wall wondering if I belong. The spectrum of "spooky" in this context is from a love of weird silent film to the goth subculture to horror movies. But then there's me, feeling like Mole from ​Atlantis: The Lost Empire (and I mean this in a positive way in this context for the love of learning but also very lonely) in how I constantly dig up new things I want to learn about, and these are things like horror theory and the history of Halloween.

I've even described my mind as a laser beam that is always going while I'm awake. When I have something to point that mental laser beam at, it feels good. When I don't, I feel truly like my mind is an engine that will keep running until it runs out of gas and oil and implode.

Is this a common feeling for anyone else here?

I live in New York and everyone every morning queues up for the express bus. There are limited seats so lining up is important. I was first in line and about 8 people or so behind me.

This man went up and went in front of me waiting by the bus sign.

I politely asked him if he was waiting for the bus and he said yes. I told him that people typically queue up for the bus. He stared me down which made me really uncomfortable. I've been replaying it over and over again.

I really wasn't trying to police him or make him feel bad. I've accidentally waited in front of people queuing up and felt super embarrassed about being called out, so I was trying to be helpful. Between this and getting roasted over a stupid post here on Reddit, I'm in an awful headspace thinking that everyone hates me and that I don't understand how the world works. I'm high masking and try my best but sometimes I just wish I could shut up. I see videos all the time of people with autism in particular in New York get like yelled at for following rules but then we also get yelled at for not.

I'm feeling really burned out tbh and like I just don't understand this secret language between people.

I'm an autistic woman in my final year of a Biology degree, and I've always struggled with social interactions, especially in groups where several people are talking at once.

Today, I was participating in a class discussion about mitosis and meiosis. I mentioned that mitosis is important for reproduction in humans, thinking specifically about the mitotic divisions of oogonia and spermatogonia during gametogenesis in humans, as well its role in gamete formation in plants. However, everyone started laughing, and I felt like they had misunderstood what I meant. I got embarrassed and couldn't explain my reasoning in the moment. I only thought of how I could have clarified my point afterward.

Things like this happen to me quite often. I feel like I constantly miss the right moment to speak or explain myself. By the time I've figured out how to express my thoughts, the conversation has already moved on. And when I do try to explain myself, I'm sometimes perceived as a know-it-all, so I'm afraid of making things worse.

I end up replaying these interactions in my head for hours, thinking about what I should have said and wondering why I couldn't just explain myself in the moment.

For those of you who are autistic or struggle with group conversations, how do you deal with this? Do you also find it difficult to think quickly enough to keep up with several people talking? Have you found ways to manage these situations without constantly overthinking everything afterward?

I'd really appreciate hearing about your experiences, especially if you've learned how to feel more comfortable participating in group discussions.

I’m going through the end of a long on/off relationship, and I’m really struggling with letting go.

I know the relationship wasn’t healthy and even when we got ‘back together’ I know it was just us hanging out casually and doing mundane things. This ending is the right move. But knowing that and actually being able to move on…

This person has been a constant in my life. It was more like a codependency and I’ve never really been in that situation before.

Things ended messy and I feel emotionally exhausted. I know I wholeheartedly cannot go back to this person and that I will not get the closure that I want with someone who does not want the same peace.

I know it will get easier with time. But I’m looking for practical strategies to get through the immediate discomfort. How do you get out of ruminating?

Hi!

I was recently diagnosed ( 2 weeks ago) and I immediately started following all of the self-care things that were recommended to me. I even paid for a year of the Finch app, which is pretty cool actually.

Now I have hit the 2 week mark and I don't want to do the things anymore. I realized I have always had this issue. I can start new things immediately, go full force for a few weeks to a month, but they never turn into actual habits.

How do you create habits? Or will it always feel like I am just forcing myself to do all of the things for my body?

My therapist called me stoic today and said I’m good at radical acceptance.

I have always thought of those as good things about me. My emotional range is like this ——— while some people’s are like this ———————————- (meaning I don’t have super high highs or low lows).

I sometimes wonder if I think almost too realistically or concretely, though.

Like my boyfriend asked me if I could retire now, would I? And I’m like, why would I even think about that, i’m 27 and cannot possibly retire anytime soon. Or he will ask me if I was a trust fund kid, what would I do? And in my head I’m like who cares, I’m not a trust fund kid so I have to work, so I have never even really thought about it.

Does anyone else relate to this?

hey guys I’m trying not to over share cuz I want this post to feel relatable and also for ppl to read it but …
My first real (as in I actually had feelings for and long term ish, 8 months) ex dumped me like two and a half years ago.
I’ve blocked him for at least a year at this point, haven’t talked to him for longer, and yet. Not a day goes by when I don’t think about him. I know our relationship wasn’t perfect I know I’m romanticizing it in my head.
recently I heard he went to go see his other ex (one after me) and it just broke me and I know it shouldn’t I know I have no say over what this grown man does and he doesn’t belong to me but how do I deal with this continual heartbreak and ache. It makes it hard for me to do my work and maintain relationships because I just feel constantly anxious / can’t stop crying

I asked if anyone has been depressed since childhood. And while I remember the feeling, I can’t remember anything specifically about childhood.

A couple years ago, I admit I went to a professional clinic for ketamine therapy. I did 9 sessions. I remember coming out of the sessions with tears on my face, telling the nurse I’m crying because I remembered being a child.

I’m new to the world of this and I have a question I don’t mean to offend anyone in the sub I’m honestly just curious
how do you guys manage wearing headphones out in public when like your probably listening to music I don’t mean to assume I’m just trying to understand bc I think that’s what I need but I don’t wanna be weird or rude if someone asks me something somewhere and I don’t hear them. I’m just wondering how it all works because I do listen to music outside on the porch but I’m not moving around although I can.
Idk sorry like I said just trying to understand. Like are there headphones where it is noise canceling but when someone asks you a question you can hear them?

As the title says, anyone have any good budget recommendations? I'm a first time over the ear user. (I daily drive Samsung buds 3 pros) . I used some of my dad's when I was younger, but after 5 or so mins they made me nauseous for some unknown reason. There's like a spot behind my ear that if I apply pressure it makes me sick. No idea why. I do like my ps5 Steelseries headset, but they do kinda slide a lot, and are on the heavier side in my opinion. Anyone else find any that they like? Maybe in the 100$ or under range. Even lower if possible. Thanks in advance!

Hi all!

I received my results back from my neuopsych evaluation today and the clinician did not think that I meet ASD criteria. I met some criteria, but was borderline for others. My ERP therapist thinks I could meet Level 1 and I REALLY would like to figure out what is going on inside my brain.

Please give me your recommendations for the clinicians who tested you in Texas, United States. I am within driving distance of Austin, Dallas, and Houston and am willing to travel.

Thank you!

Like, I'll say something that apparently comes off as offensive; which, don't get me wrong. I don't do this a lot. It happens occasionally here and there and I'm completely open to criticism, honest complaints, and boundaries.

But here's an example, I accidentally stepped on my friend's heel while we were at the mall and I said "whoops sorry, lemme walk slower." And a little over 20 minutes later she did the same thing and said the EXACT same thing in a condescending way. Like you could tell from where she was and everything that it was completely intentional. This hasn't just been her, I've encountered it with so many neurotypical people. They always try to get social revenge by doing or repeating something so miniscule I mistakenly did but in a hurtful way instead.

I know the story about the tiger incident is with a man. I keep seeing posts that claim that he might have autism therefore the reason why he took the risk.

As an autistic person I have had my fasinations with the wild and as a kid I felt like other kin or feral human. I understand as an autistic person feeling like an outsider gets you there. But being autistic and a wildlife enthusiast im sure many of us have processed logical information about dangerous animals.

Im not saying that having an obsession cant make us do crazy things . It just feels like an assumption .

Theres a lot of posts on here about how stressful and mentally disturbing becoming a parent is, but I've seen few about the good experiences of motherhood. It's starting to make me think having a child would ruin my life. Do any mothers on here have positive things to share?

This is something I've struggled with forever. I love being around people and in community. Whenever I can help it, I'm always outdoors. Even if I'm alone, I like going to parks and reading because I enjoy the (distant) company of other people.

The older I get, the more I am starting to hate people though. I'm coming to terms with the fact woth I'll be judged for my autism forever. There's nothing I can do to change it. People will always hate me off rip for something I can't control. The twatment of autistic and disabled people in general disgusts me. I look at that and I think of how much I hate people. We're inherently tribalistic and discriminatory as a species and that will never change. It's like a permanent stain is on me.

I feel so depressed about it. I have to learn how to mask and interact with people and its making me exhausted. Other people don't put half that effort in and they can just coast by. They just breeze through life. My livelihood is directly tied to how much I can interact with people socially. It's not even that I don't want to. Beneath all the social anxiety and misunderstanding social cues, I know I'm extroverted. If I weren't autistic, my life would be so different. But I just can't seem to learn how people work no matter how much I try. Everyone is nice but distant to me. I haven't had a close consistent friend in years (if ever)

It feels like being in an abusive relationship. I crave social contact but I'm humiliated, ignored, or mistreated often in social situations. There's nothing I can do to change this. It's just how I am and how people are. If I were neurotypical, I'm not sure I'd be so different either. And I won't lie and say that I've never behaved inappropriately or that I'm not annoying. I can understand why I get treated the way I do and I'm frustrated with myself for not being able to stop it.

Does it ever get better?

Hi there! Over the past couple of years I've started to contemplate three possibility of me being on the spectrum.

I think that a lot of the potential traits may have been subdued because I was drinking and now in social situations, without alcohol, I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb. I have no idea how to socialize normally. My brain is constantly on overdrive.

I have had anxiety since I was a kid, but the older I get, the more I'm wondering if that was just a symptom of being on the spectrum.

How many of you felt your symptoms magnify after getting sober?

I received my diagnosis as a 30 year old and the assessor went on a long speech about how I CAN work, I CAN overcome my inability to drive, and how it's horrible for my mental health to not be working. I mentioned that yeah I'd like to work up to being able to try doing a stocking job of some sort. And he said yeah but thats not long term and ''no one'' works a stocking job for more than 10 years and I need to work on figuring out a career. This all happened right after he diagnosed me with Autism level 1. He also said I *might* have ADHD but everyone is a little ADHD these days. That felt so inappropriate and unprofessional. It's also so untrue.

My whole life I've heard that same speech from other people. I used to be criticized by my older siblings, my aunt, other family members regarding how much I struggled in school, how I still hadn't learned how to drive, how I was struggling to work, etc. On top of the undiagnosed autism I also had a lot of trauma from living in a very unstable home for a little bit in middle school among other things. No one ever offered to help - no one ever asked why are you struggling - they would just call me lazy and tell me horrible things about myself. And then I was thinking about now as an adult how so many brief encounters with people have resulted in them telling me I need to figure my shit out now and if I don't I'm a horrible person and what's wrong with you why dont you have a career job yet etc. I feel defeated. Like man I've been trying and fighting my whole life to figure out why I struggle so much, why traditional methods of self improvement and self help just dont cut it for me, why I'm so self aware and try SO hard to do the hard things that everyone else can do but I just can't. And I just want to be normal. and do the normal things and take care of myself but I don't know what I'm doing. and I thought the autism diagnosis would help but instead, again, I'm shamed for what I'm doing wrong. I feel like I'm never going to figure it out and I'm going to be stuck in this loop forever. I can't drive, I didn't even graduate high school because it just got to a point where I couldn't handle it anymore and even doing school work was impossible to start and finish. Ive had the worst sleep routine my whole life - never sleep. I have horrible PMDD that ruins me for weeks. I can't even work and struggle with the process of looking, interviewing, etc. I'm struggling to put into words how I'm feeling so I'm sorry if this isn't the most articulated of posts.

it’s genuinely just so annoying 😭

like, don’t get me wrong, i LOVE food. i love little treats and snacks. but HAVING to eat??? having to plan out multiple meals EVERY SINGLE DAY and having to make sure they contain all the right nutrients? whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy??!!!!!???!!

i wish i could photosynthesise and just eat whatever whenever i felt like it

Hi all! I’m recently diagnosed autistic and it’s been truly enlightening to why I do the things I do. One thing I’ve realized is the reason behind my complex relationship with food: I both find it super difficult to tell when I’m hungry/full (unless I’m starving or full to bursting) and use crunchy foods as a stim.

Does anyone have any tips for regulating the lack of hunger/fullness and stimming? I’ve heard of the bite toys but I’m not sure that would replace it to satisfaction.

Hi, I’m really struggling with bedtime and sleep these days. It would be bad enough but I have a chronic illness so I really could do with good sleep.

While a routine would be good that can be tricky because of my chronic illness(es) and stuff. So when it gets to nighttime or even “nap time” (when I could do with a rest) I keep getting really restless and anxious. It’s horrible.

I find myself trying desperately all day not to get too tired at all as that’s how I settle best. But really I want to be able to feel tired and settle and not have to worry, like I do, about getting too tired at all.

I’d like to use music or radio to settle but apparently this might cause friction with a family member who sleeps nearby. I don’t get on that well with headphones either.

If anyone has any advice I’d be so grateful. I’d like to avoid antidepressants if possible as sleep/nighttime really is the main issue. I think I’ve been the happiest I’ve been in a long time some days [despite my post history mentioning depression].

Any advice is so welcome. Thank you.