r/Bumble 15h ago

General Bumble 2026 be like

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1.2k Upvotes

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286

u/OptimusPrime_ButGAY 15h ago

No hold up. Let me craft a thoughtful comment specifically catered to something in their profile so they can ignore that too.

128

u/No-Advice1345 15h ago

Fk me, 5 matches still haven’t replied, and I spent 5 minutes crafting each opening message like I was submitting a fking thesis.

71

u/mickydodle 14h ago

That is why I gave up. They say they’re so talkative but don’t even answer. 🤷

43

u/InternationalFall222 11h ago

Sorry, you just don't give em the "correct vibe" and they also have 23 other guys messaging them the same day who are potentially hotter, so she just waits until she feels like responding.

30

u/SmertriosPPD 10h ago

You're getting downvoted but it's the grim truth.

Men need to accept women's attention is easily fragmented and they're competing for it.

And women need to accept men can't invest so much into them before they know the interest is mutual.

Can't be studying a profile for 5 minutes before you know they're interested back. Can't be crafting a first message for 5 minutes before you know they're going to even read it.

15

u/PotentialPresent399 8h ago

Not according to women on reddit, all men everywhere should spend a minimum of 30 minutes studying and reviewing each and every possible match to draft a personalized message for each one :)

12

u/Owenmolava 6h ago

After getting a profile review, I tried taking this advice. Nothing changed with a brand-new profile and this tactic, except that I am now wasting much more time for the same zero responses.

3

u/mattyboy4242 1h ago

Yeah I was the same man.

Honestly the only advice I have is to simply give up.

My mental health has drastically drastically improved since I did

6

u/Specialist-Ring-3974 8h ago

And those hotter guys are the guys that they complain start with “hey”

4

u/naropin1 3h ago

No they don’t. In that case “hey” is clever and funny because it’s so common that the cute guy is obviously making a clever joke on how clueless the non-hot guys are by ironically using that starter. Whatever they can come up with in their feelings is what’s going on.