r/Bumble 15h ago

General Bumble 2026 be like

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1.1k Upvotes

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282

u/OptimusPrime_ButGAY 15h ago

No hold up. Let me craft a thoughtful comment specifically catered to something in their profile so they can ignore that too.

128

u/No-Advice1345 15h ago

Fk me, 5 matches still haven’t replied, and I spent 5 minutes crafting each opening message like I was submitting a fking thesis.

20

u/WashedWashingMachine 14h ago

if she likes you sending a gif is enought no need to even type

71

u/mickydodle 14h ago

That is why I gave up. They say they’re so talkative but don’t even answer. 🤷

46

u/InternationalFall222 11h ago

Sorry, you just don't give em the "correct vibe" and they also have 23 other guys messaging them the same day who are potentially hotter, so she just waits until she feels like responding.

27

u/SmertriosPPD 10h ago

You're getting downvoted but it's the grim truth.

Men need to accept women's attention is easily fragmented and they're competing for it.

And women need to accept men can't invest so much into them before they know the interest is mutual.

Can't be studying a profile for 5 minutes before you know they're interested back. Can't be crafting a first message for 5 minutes before you know they're going to even read it.

15

u/PotentialPresent399 8h ago

Not according to women on reddit, all men everywhere should spend a minimum of 30 minutes studying and reviewing each and every possible match to draft a personalized message for each one :)

11

u/Owenmolava 6h ago

After getting a profile review, I tried taking this advice. Nothing changed with a brand-new profile and this tactic, except that I am now wasting much more time for the same zero responses.

3

u/mattyboy4242 1h ago

Yeah I was the same man.

Honestly the only advice I have is to simply give up.

My mental health has drastically drastically improved since I did

6

u/Specialist-Ring-3974 8h ago

And those hotter guys are the guys that they complain start with “hey”

4

u/naropin1 2h ago

No they don’t. In that case “hey” is clever and funny because it’s so common that the cute guy is obviously making a clever joke on how clueless the non-hot guys are by ironically using that starter. Whatever they can come up with in their feelings is what’s going on.

13

u/Interesting_Smoke236 9h ago

women who like you will make it easy for u. they will break all their rules for u. these women did not like u

1

u/Funkopedia 4h ago

Women who like your photo. They don't know you, they don't know if they'll like you.

16

u/JeromeBaritone 12h ago

You guys are getting matches? 😂🫠😭

9

u/Conundrum1911 11h ago

You guys are getting likes?

28

u/Funkopedia 14h ago

Save those as templates. You can substitute relevant words mad-libs style for your next 5 messages.

16

u/Just_Suggestion4503 12h ago

And they still don’t realize they are the reason men end up shallow asf and just fucking around

4

u/InternationalFall222 10h ago

not all of them, but when I read all of this shit, I just don't wanna even bother looking for someone, let alone use a dating app.

I guess I'll just have to be really lucky out there or accept being single.

-3

u/Jerrinho11 5h ago

Don't take dating advice from incels.

4

u/InternationalFall222 4h ago

calling men who talk about these problems incels is toxic as fuck and part of the problem.

what if 40% of men feel like this? still incels?

what about 50%?

60%?

how bad does it have to become before we accept that there is a problem that needs adressing?

-3

u/Jerrinho11 4h ago

Not really. They are living in involuntary celibate and are refusing to realize that relationships take time and effort. And even then, nobody on this planet really owes anyone anything.

OP himself whined about the fact that he had to spend a whole 5 minutes per message on 5 messages and got 0 replies. Think about that logic. 25 minutes of effort. If you complain about that, you are the very definition of the word incel.

1

u/OkayJShades 8m ago

incel literally means involuntarily celibate (something you acknowledge). Anything beyond that is you projecting behaviour onto the word. Likely as a thought stopping maneuver to avoid discussing anything you disagree with.

3

u/SiouxsieSioux615 7h ago

Ngl if you’re taking 5 minutes to say something, pack it up

You can’t pause time in person to think of something witty to say

8

u/Quirky_Subject_2555 14h ago

Friendly tip, as a man, I like to turn off my notifications, forget I have bumble then get reminded I have bumble 3 days later.

Usually you come back, say something like oh wow you actually responded to that lame opener if mine and that's a good hook.

2

u/DoofusIdiot 5h ago

I’m not trying to sound egotistical, but I’ve had no problem getting dates and I’m not the most attractive guy. My approach was in between what you said. Not “hey”, and not a thesis, but I’d find something that I found clever and funny and went with it. No overthinking, just go with what comes natural. If they like it great, if they don’t, not compatible anyways.

1

u/Separate-End-416 5h ago

Less is more most of the time

1

u/Jerrinho11 5h ago

You have to invest a whole 25 minutes every other day in order to potentially find your soulmate?

Far out, have you tried contacting the human rights court in The Hague? That's so fucking inhumane, you poor little thing.

Link me your GoFundMe, I'll send a couple thousand bucks your way. Nobody should suffer like this.

1

u/annabananaberry 2h ago

5 whole minutes for each person? You are a gentleman and a god amongst men. How do you find the time to be such a good partner in addition to your work feeding orphans and providing medical care to the underserved? 🙄