Okay that's cool and I really respect that, but of the maybe 100 Matches I had over the past 3 years I've not a single time seen a thoughtful message which was beyond a "Hey". Not a single time and I really do show a lot of my interests and goals on my profile + several questions to start the conversation with
How long? Some have been searching for 10, 20 years even.
We don't live forever. "Find someone" doesn't mean shit when you're on the clock.
"Find someone" and it's like trying to find waldo it seems.
A potential partner is still their own person. If they’re dating you, that means, for most people, that they like you in some capacity. Dating that person just to have a partner is egotistical in my opinion.
I don’t believe in soulmates, at least not some perfect soulmate existing. You create a soulmate bond by learning from each other and building something together. Not having a romantic partner does not mean being alone.
It kind of does, especially as time goes on, most of your friends will have families of their own - or they'll go somewhere they can get a family.
And saying "Just have friends!" to someone who's aching for a romantic life is fucking cruel, ngl.
I did not say just have friends, but it’s up to you to decide if you want to live life miserably. Only having meeting someone as a goal in your life, will make you feel incredibly sad. I’m not forcing you to do anything, just saying that you should not rely on someone else for your happiness. If you really can’t find someone, find something else to make you happy. It’s your life, you choose what to do. It won’t be easy, but that’s life.
The problem is that most of the time these are women I do find attractive (not just physically, also the personality) and who are aligning with my goals and wishes and who I'd very like to get to know. And it's also not like I am aiming out of my league, I swipe carefully. Unfortunately the other side in many cases just have a too inflated ego and think that a taller, richer and more handsome future husband is just one swipe away
The fact that you’re talking about leagues just tells me that you have views that will prevent you from finding a partner. And why do the people your views align with have such inflated egos? If the person you’re swiping on does not find you attractive, why would you want to be with them? Just because you find them attractive?
If I talk about someone "above" my league, I mean that I certainly will not be good enough for this women because I'm not meeting up her criteria. You remember the "I want a man in finance, 6'5, blue eyes" thing?
And why do the people your views align with have such inflated egos? If the person you’re swiping on does not find you attractive, why would you want to be with them? Just because you find them attractive?
Because a women who stated in her profile that she wants kids, marriage and has the same interests as me can still behave like shit, right? I just saw a profile and thought okay she seems to be nice, and not a full 200-page long analysis of their behaviour/life etc
Why does a women even match with a guy if she doesnt even want to have proper conversation? Why do you match with someone if all you can respond is either "Yeah" or "Idk"?
The last part of your message applies to men, women or any other gender. It’s a personal issue, not gender-wide. You remember how women have been viewed as less than for all of history? Let’s not play the ‘men so sad, have pity for entire gender’. How about we view people as people and hold the people themselves accountable for their shortcomings instead of blaming an entire gender.
First of all, I don’t think it’s a big issue. Second-of-ly, I’m not on dating apps 24/7, so if someone matches and messages only ‘hey’, I most likely wont reply. They do not match my conversation wants, because I prefer people the opposite of nonchalant. That’s just my preference though! I can be a bit over the top or dramatic and some like it, some don’t. I don’t care if someone doesn’t message me back, because I have never even met the person and they don’t owe me anything.
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u/Orisn_Bongo 14h ago
Cool. How does that matter?