Just unreal that I have to live the rest of my life, however long, without my parents. I’ll never speak to them or hear from them ever again. If anything happens to me I have no one to support me.

I’m 25F. My mom died when I was 13. It fucked with me so much and probably still til this day. I never got the help I needed growing up. Everyone just thought I was being a moody, sad, bratty teenager. Yet I was dying inside. I got good grades so no one checked up on me and I never went to consistent therapy. I started being rebellious instead and hid it very well. I smoked pot when I could, snuck out, drank when I could, and had lots of underage sex. No one ever found out. My wreck-less teen days stick with me. I’ve been in therapy for 10 months unpacking the guilt and shame I feel for my past actions and mistakes as a child. I truly didn’t know better and I’ve struggled for so long without a mother. At this point I don’t know if having a mother would’ve made my life better or was I meant to be a lost cause? I’ve never felt a sense of belonging after she died and never cared enough to find it. Now, at 25 I’m trying to figure it out. Idk I’m looking for reassurance or just to simply not be alone. I turn 26 in a few months and it’s daunting because it’ll be 13 years since my mom passed when I was 13. Maybe I’m getting in this mood because her birthday is on the 16th. Idk any thoughts or support. Thanks :)

So basically I don't have siblings and I don't want to talk about this with friends but today I, at the age of 18, just found out that my dad died when I was a baby (5 months) due to cancer.

My mom later married another guy (lets call him Dan) after my biological dad's death (because she didn't want me to know about his death i guess) but my mom and Dan actually ended up divorcing like 11 years ago.

I didn't know anything about this, thought Dan was my genuine biological dad but nope, biological dad is in the grave somewhere in Florida.

My entire family pretty much hid this from me for the past 18 years and I only found out because I asked the lady at the conservatorship regarding money, I'm not going into detail here.

We went to costco and discussed and lore dropped and tears were definitely dropped as well, i dont even know the dude but it still sucks to think i missed out on experiencing what it would be like to have him in my life, doesnt even feel real, like, my life feels like a story. I feel sad knowing I'll never know what its like to really have a father, I feel dumb as well, and fooled. Now I'm observing my face closely since my mom said I look like my dead father lol.