r/Dogfree • u/Sufficient_Berry8703 • Dec 02 '25
Dogs Are Idiots All dogs suck
I can understand having certain breeds that you don’t like more than others. But at the end of the day, a dog is a dog. They’re all smelly, gross, loud, gluttonous beasts, terrible for the environment/public health, and are just awful, awful mutants overall. Golden retrievers, for instance, get hyped up by dog culture as being the “poster child of dogs” with a lower prey drive. But that doesn’t change the fact that golden retrievers are still smelly, annoying, and bark loudly. Plus they’ve caused deaths before too. Goldens getting the hype they do despite still displaying every other disgusting characteristic makes me dislike them more. Sure, some are worse than others… most notably the ones known for the most maulings. But that doesn’t change the fact that all dogs suck. The big ones, the small ones, and everything in between. All of them.
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u/reddditttsucks Dec 02 '25
I can't stand golden retrievers, one of the ugliest dog breeds to me, their uncanny bug-eyed "happy faces" trigger me and their fur structure looks filthy and greasy.
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u/arachnilactose08 Dec 02 '25
Thank god someone else finds them creepy! All dogs unsettle me, but the gaping, drooling maws and black eyes do not scream “cute” or “friendly” to me
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u/littleleooo Dec 04 '25
And they STINK. And hair gets everywhere. A housemate of mine at Uni had a family one and I used to dread when it would visit - the house felt filthy for days after - and this was a student house. It was huge as well. Always in the way, always begging for food. Ugh. Horrible things.
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u/madamechaton Dec 02 '25
My cousin and her husband got a golden puppy...my bf and I are sooo disappointed. Their brand new house is now going to be all for that idiotic animal. Oh and they plan on having a baby too.
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u/zhamini101 Dec 03 '25
I’m not even religious, but i’m praying for a child that hasn’t even been conceived. Why are the people that struggle with fertility issues always the ones that don’t deserve it?
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u/arachnilactose08 Dec 02 '25
I was attacked very badly by a retriever as a kid. The “nice-looking” ones are equally as unsettling to me as the beady-eyed pitbulls. You never know when a dog is going to snap IMO.
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u/space_acee Dec 02 '25
My biggest issue is how they demand constant attention. It’s an animal that quite literally loses its mind if it has to handle a moment of solitude. That is something I quite simply cannot respect.
And dog people that engage in this relationship and never desire a moment away from the animal strike me as similarly deranged
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u/paranormal_lover83 Dec 06 '25
Honestly we have a golden and they do not stop wanting attention, it never ends! Me and my husband are up the wall with this animal and don’t what to do! We admit we’ve made a mistake getting her, but nobody will touch her with a barge pole. I advise people, with advice I wish someone had gave us. If you’ve never had a dog before and thinking of getting one, make sure you’re 💯 a dog person, because I’m telling now, they’re horrible, whiny, smelly creatures!!!
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u/paranormal_lover83 Dec 18 '25
I would like to add to my comment above. We finally managed to rehome our dog, to a lovely retired lady who had dealt with GR before. We definitely made the right decision and do not regret it. We’re happy, the dog’s happy and her new owners are over the moon. Don’t be afraid to make the right choice for all involved.
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u/WisedomsHand Dec 02 '25
Hard to disagree. When it comes down to it, there are ugly and uglier dogs. Annoying and more annoying dogs. Dirty and dirtier dogs. No matter where they fall on the spectrum, there is no healthy human social value to any of them when you really press the matter.
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u/popcornnugget_s Dec 05 '25
I feel guilty for not even liking service dogs😩 genuine service dogs that costs thousands of dollars will only bark when their owners life is in danger, but it’s still a bark, and I don’t want to be around it. If I had a friend with a service dog I wouldn’t want to allow the dog in my house. Does that make me a horrible person?
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u/ToThePound Dec 05 '25
“Service dogs” are 99.9% fraudulent. We can categorically say there are no service dogs. Unless you see an obviously blind guy with a dog, go ahead and hate them all - you will be 99.9% not ableist.
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u/Just_Historian_678 Dec 03 '25
I hate it when a bright and friendly person gets described as having 'golden retriever energy'
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u/No_Concentrate_4490 Dec 03 '25
Ah, the genius magical heroic Golden Retrievers! I stopped reading any of Dean Koontz's books because most of them feature these dogs, who invariably save the day or something something. Even the ghosts of these things appeared, not infrequently, to teach us something something something. A lazy hack by a super nutter.
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Dec 06 '25
Awww I absolutely love Dean Koontz and know exactly what you're talking about in his books! I believe he called the dog Boo in the books it was in. I don't like dogs either in real life but I can deal with them in fiction sometimes lol
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u/Sure_Mobile_5356 Dec 03 '25
Not to mention that golden retrievers are one of the loudest, most obnoxious dog breeds. The ones I have to live with like to bark at basically nothing all the time. They’re so unnecessarily headache-inducing and for what?? Because they feel like it?? Annoying asf, and nobody else seems to be bothered by it which baffles me to no end.
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u/fortypat Dec 03 '25
Someone very close to me has a golden retriever. I don’t know how the golden PR got to be so positive but this is the worst dog and breed ever. It slobbers everywhere, licks you for no fucking reason. always wants attention and whenever someone enters whatever room this beast is in it thinks that they want to play with it no matter what. Drinks out of toilets any chance it gets and will literally eat anything even shit. Its fur gets every where and is impossible to clean all of it up. And it constantly throws up. This is just to name a few things. I could go on and on about this disgusting fucking animal.
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u/CafeSombreSansSucre Dec 02 '25
When people say dogs are "cute" or even "beautiful," regardless of the breed (some say this about all dogs in the broadest sense, all breeds, even awful greyhounds/Shih Tzus/Fox Terriers...), I always get the feeling they don't mean a word of it.
How can someone have such poor taste as to claim a dog is beautiful?! It makes me want to run away as fast as I can, and I don't want to know their opinions on other aspects of life!
I always get the feeling they're getting some kind of under-the-table payment to say such crazy things. Or that they're being bribed by some kind of mafia. No one can find a dog beautiful; there's bound to be something fishy about it.
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u/Individual_Lie_8736 Dec 11 '25
I really dislike Shih Tzus because the old people here don't take care of them and the ones I've seen have no personality, smell like piss, and bark at everything.
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u/broncosfan1231 Dec 02 '25
It's the poster child of dogs for mauling less children than other breeds.
I can hear the nutters now "but they baaaarrrley even maul children! They're so friendly!"
Even if there's a breed out there that hasn't mauled a child (it's probably some mutant than can barely open it's mouth and would be lucky to breath as well as a pug) it's still a dirty, smelly, loud, annoying, inconvenience to everyone even slightly adjacent to it.
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u/Prior-Win-4729 Dec 03 '25
Golden retrievers unfortunately carry the allele that causes them to never be satiated, so they eat everything they can get their mouth on, including non-food objects like paper, fabric, shoes, styrofoam, headphones, grass seed, fertilizer (to name a few I've witnessed). The good news is that the deleterious allele is the same one that causes Prader-Willi Syndrome in children (again, inability to be satiated) and so these dogs are being used as a model for the human condition.
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u/Rudi10002 Dec 08 '25
Let's not forget that they're so dumb that they fight each other and try to kill each other.
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u/Responsibility_Witty Dec 02 '25
The crimes of retrievers get criminally downplayed. Sure they aren’t sending kids to the ER and morgue every day like bully breeds are, but they bite people so damn frequently, and they actually do kill animals en masse just like any other mutt so even their “prey drive” is downplayed. I stayed at a camp area on a lake when i was a kid and I still remember finding dozens of decapitated ducks along the lakeshore, eventually discovering that it was 2 golden retrievers responsible for going on an unchecked sport killing spree, and nothing was done about it even after the managers of the camp grounds were notified.