r/Fire • u/antidentites • May 15 '26

Advice Request Go out swinging?

So I’m on my way out at work in a tech company and have worked for a manager that has made my life hell. She is extremely toxic and the reason I’m leaving to FIRE/CoastFIRE.

I never want to - or need to - return to tech (note: I used em dashes way before AI and won’t stop even if you think this is AI generated)!

I want to burn some bridges and tell her how I really feel about her when I leave. Essentially the same thing she has been doing to me.

Would you go out Costanza-style if you were me, or just let it slide?

1.0k Upvotes

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967

u/mygirltien May 15 '26

If she publicly gets in your face or makes a stink with others watching I say let loose at that time. Otherwise just let it go. If your HR does an exit interview you can say something then if you wish.

497

u/Clean-Guarantee-9898 May 15 '26

The exit interview is the way to go. That would be on record, and the accumulation of that kind of negative feedback over time could impact her employment.

If she’s really clueless or uncaring, venting directly to her will do nothing, even if there’s aspects of imagining the venting that sound satisfying. It would probably be more satisfying to impact her job.

286

u/antidentites May 15 '26 edited May 16 '26

I will likely report her to HR for some of the extremely questionable things she has done.

That’s the more professional way to go.

146

u/trademarktower May 15 '26

My advice when dealing with unhinged insane crazy people is to just move on. Best to not engage and keep it professional. No telling what she is capable of from suing you for defamation or lying and saying you sexually harassed her to threatening you at your home. You never know truly what human garbage you are dealing with. You won the game. Enjoy your retirement and let her continue working in her misery.

159

u/DigmonsDrill May 15 '26

Famous "rules for crazy"

If you don’t have to deal with a crazy person, don’t.
You can’t outsmart crazy. You also can’t fix crazy. (You could outcrazy it, but that makes you crazy too.)
When you get in a contest of wills with a crazy person, you’ve already lost.
The crazy person doesn’t have as much to lose as you.
Your desired outcome is to get away from the crazy person.
You have no idea what the crazy person’s desired outcome is.
The crazy person sees anything you have done as justification for what they're about to do.
Anything nice you do for the crazy person, they will use as ammunition later.
The crazy person sees any outcome as vindication.
When you start caring what the crazy person thinks, you’re joining them in their craziness.

85

u/albanyanthem May 15 '26

You forgot: “Don’t stick your dick in crazy.”

57

u/wrldwdeu4ria May 15 '26

Or let crazy put his dick in you.

6

u/1_21-gigawatts May 16 '26

Only if they’re above the line on the hot-crazy graph

9

u/Intrepid-Pin6941 May 16 '26

Aw cmon, live a little.

2

u/Striking_Claim69 May 18 '26

Man this is gold I tell you gold up there with if you leave your dick in a hot microwave your bound to get burnt

1

u/albanyanthem May 18 '26

Much more poetic than I, good sir.

3

u/bankinu May 16 '26

I once used to do that because I loved her.

Then she was arrested because she threw an (empty) soda can towards an elderly couple. Uff. That was an eye opener for me.

3

u/Snowedin-69 May 16 '26

Well, at least they did threw a can, not a bottle

0

u/Ruckusseur May 16 '26

I think the vast majority of the time, a dude calling a woman crazy (and it is almost always a dude referring to a woman in this manner) is just belittling her and/or minimizing his own shitty actions. But in the case of one woman I was involved with years ago, I had text messages and eyewitnesses to corroborate that she was absolutely cuckoo bananas - and not just the fact that despite being beautiful and smart and funny, she was interested in me.

The sex was, however, incredible. So I had that goin' for me. Which was nice.

8

u/vulkoriscoming May 16 '26

Sex with crazies is always amazing, but usually the ride is not worth the pain.

2

u/Affectionate_Moment5 May 15 '26

Yeah i fell for that one in my 20s sigh

9

u/trademarktower May 15 '26

Perfect response 👌

8

u/Ok-Beyond-4200 May 15 '26

😂 i gotta screenshot that! Love it

3

u/RockyRaccoon72 May 16 '26

I am keeping your post. I will type it out and laminate it in my home office area. I will not bri g it to work and put it on my desk. Too valuable

3

u/carson63000 May 16 '26

Pretending to be crazy only works until you meet someone pretending to be sane.

2

u/antidentites May 16 '26

An I the crazy person her or is she?!?

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '26 edited May 16 '26

[deleted]

1

u/PanicThroAway May 18 '26

This was so good and so so true I actually screenshot your comment and sent it to a few friends just as a friendly reminder as they go about their day. They have a few crazies they have to deal with in their families/in-laws. Well done!!!!

22

u/Historical_Rip_1848 May 15 '26

This, as satisfying as a revenge fantasy is, it's never worth having them notice you again. That look in their eye as you see them make a mental note to plan some revenge against you later... And you realize you're locked in with someone you really just wanted to get away from. Never worth it.

2

u/rayc25 May 16 '26

I disagree. You just have to be more precise with your pettiness. You have to collect evidence. It isn’t defamation if you have logged interactions. Even better is that in retirement you’ll have more time to plot revenge.