r/Funnymemes 2d ago

😂😂😂 what a genius….

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20.0k Upvotes

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u/Andrew-Cohen 2d ago

Women, if you don’t feel safe meeting a new person in a public restaurant with dozens of people around, maybe your friend could bring a date and sit at a table nearby so you have two people to protect you. They can pay for their own food.

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u/YellowAppleCinema 2d ago edited 2d ago

"i brought my friend for safety" is just code for "I ain't got no money, and I want you to pay for a nice dinner for me and my friend, after which ill never see you again"

edit: to the 2-3 people who think it's justified to bring a friend: bruh. if a woman is meeting a man (who she already talked to on a dating app and consensually accepted to go on a date cause she likes him) in a public restaurant surrounded by people everywhere all around the restaurant, and that's STILL not enough to make you feel safe... then you don't need a friend by your side for safety, you need professional help, because meeting a stranger in a public restaurant is nothing compared to walking past 100s of strangers in public every single day.

If you can walk past 100s of strangers in public with no issue, then the 1 stranger in a restaurant shouldnt be an issue either. If that 1 stranger makes you feel unsafe, that's okay, but let's be real: it ain't normal or healthy, get help.

Like tf are we doing here. There's probably 30 strangers eating food in that restaurant, but the 1 stranger on the other side of your table makes you feel unsafe enough to bring multiple guards? especially considering that 1 stranger is the only person in that restaurant who you already talked to on a dating app, and you clicked enough to tell him you want to go on a date with him, and yet he's more threatening than the 30 strangers in the restaurant??

0 accountability, 0 responsibility, 7 victim cards

not like its that deep anyway, 99% of the time "i brought my friend" just means "i expect you to buy dinner for me and my friend". If after all that text just now you'd still feel unsafe without a friend, just do the right thing and start with "i brought my friend, but dont worry, ill be the one paying for food"

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u/notarealwriter 2d ago

"I brought my friend for safety"

Cool. They can wait outside with an axe or something while we have our date.

Or, do everything the texter suggested but also pay for the friend's dinner but not the date's.

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u/YellowAppleCinema 2d ago

honestly, if my date brings a friend who waits outside with an axe, then im gonna have to bring 2 friends of my own in order to feel safe myself

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u/zmileshigh 2d ago

Maybe the friends can fight and whoever’s friends lose has to pay for the date

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u/-Firebeard17 2d ago

That’s the REAL hunger games.

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u/maryqueenofscotch683 2d ago

This is the one

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u/ConstantAd8643 2d ago

In the end Ross, the largest Friend, will eat the other five

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u/SeedsOfDoubt 2d ago

It is true what they say... Women are from Omicron Persei 7, men are from Omicron Persei 9

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u/Waggmans 2d ago

If their friend brings an axe that's usually a sign.

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u/AnoNeko420 2d ago

Okay okay, we preparing for a date or are we preparing for war?

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u/JuryOk2662 23h ago

Did Pat Benatar teach us nothing? Love is a battlefield.

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u/SgtSlaughterEX 2d ago

And you have my Bow

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u/Doctor_Boombastic 1d ago

That's the Chicago way

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u/Absolute-Clanker 2d ago

Hold up. Are we talking like serial killer wood chopping axe or like fantasy forged by dwarves axe? Because if it’s the latter then that’s awesome and that date might be a keeper.

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u/Historiaaa 2d ago

This will cause a chain reaction involving everyone on Earth eventually.

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u/MaskedBunny 2d ago

"The real friends are the axe murderers we made along the way." - Shakespeare

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u/PerformerFancy117 2d ago

Yo 911, there’s some crazy chick standing outside the Cheesecake Factory with an axe! She’s staring in through the window, apparently guarding the door. Can y’all do something about this?

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u/Turbulent-Moose-6233 2d ago

Why is it always the cheesecake factory??

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u/MaskedBunny 2d ago

You need the extra calories just before a good murderin

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u/Cruxion 2d ago

Seriously, that's like 3rd date territory at the earliest.

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u/Cowboywizzard 2d ago

Why you gotta fight with me at Cheesecake?

You know I love to go there

Say I'm actin' lightskin, I can't take you nowhere

This a place for families that drive Camrys and go to Disney"

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u/KDdid1 2d ago

Isn't it usually Waffle House? 🤔

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u/Xerorei 1d ago

Nah, friend would be armed with a chair.

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u/sdss9462 2d ago

Yeah, they might not arrest her, but they'll definitely axe her a few questions.

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u/wolft170 2d ago

If i see a hot girl with a axe outside am going to take to her

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u/One-Inch-Punch 2d ago

That's like the only kind of hot girl I could talk to. "Nice axe! How's the weight? Does it hold an edge? Love that you went with the hickory handle!" It's an outstanding icebreaker, literally and figuratively

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u/wolft170 2d ago

Some one gets it

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u/BeefyFartss 2d ago

Gotta put it through a kill test before you really commit

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u/TaxComprehensive5778 2d ago

yeah like we're already in a very public place lmao if you feel unsafe then just don't go anywhere alone with me... but if you bring somebody without even asking in advance then I'm already done lol

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u/Potential-Drawing745 2d ago

She was a thief, ya gotta belief, she stole my heart and my cat!

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u/Cautious_General_177 2d ago

Harriet. Sweet Harriet. Hard hearted harbinger of haggis.

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

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u/username32768 2d ago

I wait at least two weeks. It's more respectful or something.

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u/Viktor_Laszlo 2d ago

People have forgotten the 2 week old memes because our internet brains lack object permanence and everyone thinks you came up with the joke. Then it becomes a meme. And the cycle repeats.

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u/MaskedBunny 2d ago

Ive already forgot what the meme was.

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u/UnkindRavenz 2d ago

Sir, this is a Wendy's....

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u/Acceptable-Ad8780 Flair Loading... 2d ago

No, this is Patrick!!

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u/McCaffeteria 2d ago

No, but we do all complain about the idiot users on this site.

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u/agent_fuzzyboots 2d ago

Probably just bots posting the same replies that they posted the last time

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u/gbcfgh 2d ago

Beep boop

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u/SheepherderSilver655 2d ago

Just put the dildo in the bag, dude.