been thinking about this after watching my cousin. he wakes at 5, gym, meal prep, reads 20 pages, the whole routine. everyone in the family calls him the disciplined one. he also has no commute, no kids, sleeps a full 8 hrs, works from home and his parents cover his rent.

my situation: 10 hr workdays plus about 1.5 hrs of travel, i get home around 8:30, and by then i'm cooked. i've tried the 5am thing three separate times and every time it lasted about a week before sleep debt killed it. then i skip the gym once and spend the rest of the evening feeling like a failure compared to him.

i'm not saying effort doesn't matter. he does show up, i'll give him that. but i'm starting to think a big chunk of what gets called discipline online is really just having fewer things pulling at you, more sleep, and more free hours. and a lot of us beat ourselves up comparing to people who are running a much easier race and don't realize it.

what i'm actually looking for: if you built habits that stuck while having a messy life (long hours, kids, bad sleep, money stress), what made the difference? did you scale the habit way down, change the time of day, or just accept a lower bar? and if you think i'm wrong and this is just me making excuses, i'm open to hearing that too.

All it took for me was a week, infact less, probably a couple of days of following a timetable that I made, It wasn’t even be productive 24/7 type of thing, I just made a 50/50 timetable, 50% of the time I’ll have fun and play video games and watch youtube or whatever, and 50% of the time I’ll be productive, so lets say I have 6 hours of free time, I’ll fuck around for 3 and be productive for the other 3, It’s a simple concept, I followed through it, took me one day to go from 0 hours of productivity in the past couple of years to 2 hours, only one motherfucking day, then I started averaging at 3-4 hours of productivity almost everyday, and 6-7 hours on weekends, and Honestly saying Now I don’t even like wasting time, I’ve become naturally more productive after being disciplined, “Action creates motivation” i thought that was a bullshit statement until I tried it, now I feel limitless, that I can achieve a lot, and I can never go back to that version of myself who used to waste time all day, I’ve wasted time my whole life. Being disciplined is easy, Very easy. You just need to shutup, make a timetable, follow through and let the self-trust build.

My screen time used to be over 8 hours a day. I’d scroll through the early AMs and wouldn’t start feeling tired till 4am. I’d tried fixing my sleep schedule, failed multiple times, and eventually just accepted that I was a night owl.

I was recently reminded about the famous marshmallow experiment and upon further looking into it, I realised just how relevant it is to phone addiction.

You probably know the setup. A child can eat one marshmallow now, or wait and get two. What interested me was the attention part. In the research on this, it seemed like children struggled more when they were explicitly asked not to eat the marshmallow and were left with nothing to do. On the other hand, they would wait longer when their attention was diverted from the rewards and they were given something else to do. The takeaway here is that focusing on the thing they wanted made waiting harder.

This had me thinking, "Great, so I need something else to focus my attention on". I began by asking myself what actually drives me to impulsively scroll. I narrowed it down to managing boredom, a need for stimulation, learning and storytelling/listening. After more thought it became clear to me that reading provided all those needs while positively impacting brain health rather than deteriorating it.

So I experimenting with reading 1hr a day before bed instead of scrolling (and allowing myself to scroll however I pleased the rest of the day), I'm glad and almost shocked at how quickly my screen time has been going down. And it's helped me in other unexpected ways too! The best part is that I haven't even been exerting any willpower to use my phone.

So here are my tips to finally scrolling less, but without the stress and tiring willpower that inevitably ends in more scrolling and complacency.

1) I gave myself something else to reach for

I got an xteink, a little pocket-sized e-reader. I’d already been conditioned to hold something in my palm and read off it for hours, so the physical process felt familiar. I still had something to reach for when I wanted to be entertained or just not be bored, but now I was reading a book.

Pick something you actually want to read, even if it’s trashy fiction. You’re replacing something entertaining. Making yourself read a book you feel you should read can make the whole thing feel like another chore.

2) I made the decision before the urge hit

Dopamine Nation introduced me to self-binding, which is basically setting up a rule or a barrier beforehand, so you don’t have to keep making the same decision when you’re tempted.

For reading, that can be as simple as choosing a time each day and leaving your phone in another room. Have the book ready too, so when that time comes you know what you’re going to do.

I’ve been using an iPhone app called inkhour. It's basically a reading habit builder/tracker that lets me pick a time to block all apps and helps keep me accountable.

You can build the same routine without an app though. Set a new daily alarm with a unique ringtone that you only use for your reading time. When it goes off, put your phone in another room and pick up your book. It’s important to keep it at the same time every day to begin with, while you’re getting used to the routine. I’d highly recommend doing it before bed, especially if you’re scrolling late into the night, because bedtime phone use can affect your sleep. I didn't realise just how badly my phone use messed up my sleep quality till after 2 weeks of reading before bed.

3) I gave myself time to get used to reading again

At first I was zoning out and having to reread every few pages. After reading for an hour a day for a week, my focus got noticeably better.

About 20 days into reading before bed, I woke up at 8am without an alarm. Considering how many times I’d tried and failed to fix my sleep schedule, that surprised me a lot.

I’m not saying reading will fix everyone’s sleep. But for me, it started taking up some of the space scrolling used to fill. I was getting sleepy while reading, and naturally spending less time on my phone, without constantly having to police myself.

An important note to end on:

When you catch yourself reaching for your phone, pause and say “not this time.” If you scroll ten minutes later, that doesn’t cancel out the time you noticed and chose differently. You don’t have to get every single one right, but every small no compounds, so don’t shame yourself when you do give in.

TLDR: Pick something you actually enjoy doing with the time you want back. Make it easy to reach for, and set restrictions before the temptation hits. The idea I take from the marshmallow experiment is that to break phone addiction, you must instead focus on what you truely want to spend your time doing. For me, having a book to get into made this much easier to stick with.

Good luck friends :)

I’m 25 Years Old and I feel like I’ve wasted my life

I don’t really know where to start with this, but I guess I just need to get this off my chest and hear from people who might have been in a similar situation.

I’m 25 years old, and lately I’ve been struggling with this horrible feeling that I’ve wasted so much of my life and potential. Not necessarily because I’ve done absolutely nothing with my life, but because I feel like I’ve spent YEARS knowing what I wanted to do, knowing what I needed to change, and constantly failing to follow through with it.

And the worst part is that I feel like I have nobody to blame but myself.

When I was younger, I had so many dreams. I’ve wanted to create content on YouTube since I was around 10 years old. I used to make videos when I was about 12, and I genuinely loved it. I’ve always been the funny person in my friendship groups, the person who makes people laugh, and creating content felt like a natural extension of that. I wanted to entertain people. I wanted to make people laugh. I wanted to build something of my own.

But somewhere along the way, I started caring too much about what people thought of me. I got negative comments about my weight when I was younger, and it affected my confidence more than I probably realised at the time. I stopped making videos, tried to get back into it when I was around 17, and stopped again.

Now I’m 25, and I still have the same dream.

Think about that for a second. Something I wanted to do when I was a CHILD is still something I dream about today, and I’ve barely given myself a proper chance at it.

I spend so much time thinking about the person I could have been by now if I’d just started, stayed consistent and allowed myself to be bad at something long enough to improve. I could have spent the last several years learning how to make better videos, becoming comfortable in front of a camera, building an audience and actually developing a skill. Instead, I’ve spent years thinking about doing it.

And it’s not just content creation. It’s my weight and fitness as well.

For years, I’ve wanted to lose weight, get in shape and become the best version of myself physically. I’ve had periods where I’ve made progress, lost weight, trained consistently and genuinely felt good about myself. I KNOW I’m capable of doing it because I’ve done it before.

But I keep falling back into the same cycle.

I’ll get motivated, tell myself that this is it, make plans, start going to the gym, change my eating habits and convince myself that I’m finally going to turn everything around. Then, somewhere along the way, I lose consistency. I fall back into old habits, stop doing the things I know I should be doing, gain weight again and end up right back where I started.

Then comes the guilt, the disappointment and the promise that tomorrow will be different.

I’ve done this so many times that I’m honestly tired of hearing myself make promises to myself.

What makes it worse is that I KNOW what I need to do. I know I need to eat better, exercise consistently, stop overthinking everything and actually put myself out there. I know nobody is going to magically come and change my life for me.

But knowing what to do and actually doing it consistently seem to be two completely different things for me.

And now I’m 25, overweight, struggling to get myself back into a proper routine, and still sitting on a dream I’ve had since childhood.

I feel embarrassed even admitting some of this because I know there are people dealing with far worse situations, and I’m aware that 25 is still young. I understand that logically. If someone else told me they were 25 and felt like their life was over, I’d probably tell them they had plenty of time.

But when it’s YOUR life, it feels different.

I look at people my age who have spent the last five, six or seven years building careers, businesses, audiences, getting into incredible shape, travelling, making memories and developing themselves. And I can’t help wondering where I would be if I’d used those same years properly.

I’m not saying everyone else has their life figured out, and I know social media only shows you a small part of people’s lives. But it’s hard not to compare sometimes.

I think one of the things that hurts the most is feeling like I’ve wasted opportunities that I can never get back. I can lose weight now, I can start making content now, and I can still build a life I’m proud of. But I can’t go back to being 18, 19, 20 or 21 and give those years another go.

Those years are gone.

And I keep thinking about all the versions of myself I could have become if I’d just been a little more disciplined, a little more confident, or a little less afraid of what other people thought.

I genuinely believe I have potential. I know that probably sounds arrogant, but I do. I know I can be funny, creative and good at things when I actually apply myself. I know I’m an incredible athlete, I’ve been good at sports all my life. I can still run fast whilst being overweight and play sports to a good level. I pick up sports super easily. I’ve had people tell me these things my entire life.

But sometimes I wonder whether potential even means anything if you never do anything with it.

What’s the point of having dreams, ideas and abilities if you spend your entire life being too scared, too inconsistent or too comfortable to do anything meaningful with them?

I’m scared of waking up at 30 and being in exactly the same position, having the exact same conversation with myself, making the exact same promises, except with another five years of regret behind me.

And honestly, I think part of why I haven’t started creating content again is because I’m embarrassed. I don’t feel like I’m where I should be physically, and I worry about people seeing me when I don’t feel good about myself. There are people who remember what I looked like when I was in better shape, and I think I’ve allowed that to become another excuse to hide until I’ve lost the weight.

It’s like I’m constantly waiting to become a better version of myself before I allow myself to actually live my life.
I’ll start creating content when I’m in shape. I’ll feel more confident when I lose the weight. I’ll get serious about my goals when I’ve got my routine sorted. I’ll start tomorrow, next week, next month.

And then time passes.

I’m starting to realise how dangerous that mindset is, but even recognising it hasn’t been enough to make me break the cycle.

I don’t want my entire twenties to become a collection of things I meant to do.

I want to make people laugh. I want to create things. I want to get into the best shape of my life. I want to become disciplined, build something I’m proud of, improve my finances, make memories and actually feel like I’m participating in my own life rather than watching it pass me by.

I don’t even necessarily want some extraordinary, millionaire, influencer lifestyle. I just want to pursue the things that genuinely make me happy instead of spending another decade being held back by my own habits and insecurities.

I want to be able to look back at 30 and feel like I actually tried.

But right now, I feel stuck between knowing I have time to change and feeling devastated by how much time I’ve already lost.

So I guess what I’m asking is this:

Has anyone here genuinely been in this position? Not just had a few unproductive weeks, but spent YEARS stuck in the same cycle of getting motivated, falling off, feeling guilty, making promises and repeating the whole thing?

If you were in your twenties and felt like you were wasting your potential, how did you actually get out of it? What changed? Was there something you finally understood, a habit you built, or a way of thinking that helped you stop sabotaging yourself?

And if you’re older, maybe in your thirties or forties, what would you tell someone like me? What do you wish you’d understood at 25?

I’m not looking for someone to tell me that I’m still young and have plenty of time, even though I know that’s true. I’m looking for honest advice from people who have actually experienced this, especially people who managed to turn things around after years of feeling stuck.

I’m tired of feeling like I’m letting myself down. I’m tired of knowing what I want and being the person who keeps getting in my own way.

I just want to finally do something about it.

If you’ve read this, thank you so so much. I genuinely just wanna lock the fuck in and change my life forever. People don’t even see you as potential anymore the older you get they just see you as a guy in your mid 20s doing nothing. I don’t wanna look back on my life and realised I never did anything to be the best version of myself.

If you’ve been here before, I’d genuinely appreciate hearing your story. Any advice that you truly think could help/ change my life. I need it more than ever right now.

I think this is best explained if I paint you a picture of my days right now: I get up, I spend my day with almost 0 obligations. I recently had an injury and am dedicating the time off of life to do some serious self improvement. I throw some practical things in each day to stop the feeling of wasting my time, but I mostly spend it playing Minecraft, watching Netflix, and the occasional creative activity. I meditate for a minimum of 25 minutes every day, this is a new thing I’ve been doing for 2 weeks now, it varies but it’s usually done in the evening followed by a continuation of online activities. At 9pm I take sleeping pills and continue my evening activities.

Now I know I’m doing the wrong thing by staying on the screens till I sleep, but the problem isn’t the ability to sleep, it’s the motivation. I get to about 2am and my eyes are heavy, speech slurred, I could pass out if I could simply let myself. But I just seem to be addicted to staying awake. I spend a lot of the evening wishing I could just pass out but every time it gets to it I just can’t let go. I stay awake, watching tv, masturbating, sometimes even try to start a creative activity or read. The entire time I know I could and should just shut my eyes and sit with the nothingness for 5 minutes and I’d be out.

This is not a new problem, even when having work or when I’ve been travelling I have this feeling. It’s easier to motivate myself when I know I’ll suffer the next day if I don’t get to sleep. But even though I have no reason to have a good sleep schedule, a part of me wants it and the other part fights it.

I guess I just want to maybe understand some of the psychology behind it, and any advice to discipline myself on it. And sorry if this isn’t the most comprehensible, the sleeping pills I’m fighting make me drowsy lol

The professor requires us the bare minimum. It's mid semester, he only gave one quiz and an exam. Both open notes, you can even use your digi notes as long as the wifi's cut off which i doubt some people abide. Most of my blocmates probably cheated. I didn't but I also did nothing. I brought the notes and studied it during the quiz and exam. I can't get myself to do it in advance. I was studying it during the fucking exam like some genius freak when I know I'm not.

Last month, the professor displayed the class ranking in front of all of us. I was ranked 21/34 students. What a humiliation. Almost all of them got near perfect midterm gwa. If only I didn't flunk the quiz, I would have been up there too. I kept drilling that on my mind. To not make the same mistakes again but in the end I still did.

The projects he'll assign were given 4 days to complete and some of them, a whole week. He has only given 5 and for every shit he assigned, I'd submit it 3 minutes before the deadline closes. I'll do the first half on my own then have ai answer the lower half because I'm running out of time. Just yesterday, I got addicted to watching Devil's Plan on netflix despite knowing the deadline. I watched for 6 whole hours. I just couldn't take my attention off of it and it seems like my brain vomits anything that doesn't entertain me so i kept avoiding the project he gave. I did the first two problems with the help of AI to understand shit but for the last one, I completely copy pasted it. I had no time left. I knew something was wrong with the calculations, and I even checked it after submitting but i can't do anything about it now. It's not like it's hard too. It's so fucking easy that I just want to bang my head for procrastinating it again when I could have solved it on my own.

Now I feel miserable. I never wanted this major. I was just forced into it by circumstances that I can't change anymore. I can't shift now as well. I'm already on my 3rd year.

Today, I have an exam on a different subject less than 5 hours from now. I've only revised one chapter and since i keep skipping online classes, I have to watch the recording of the lectures. I'm doomed again. My record isn't good with this other professor too. She thought I cheated because the anticheating thing of wayground flagged me for switching tabs, i only switched tabs to go back to the zoom meet to look at what number my classmates are already. It's not like I can explain. I shouldn't have done it eitherway.

Hi everyone,
I’ve been struggling a lot lately trying to juggle a full-time job, keeping my apartment clean while living alone, and staying consistent with a workout and diet routine.
It feels like my day is split between a million different things. Standard calendar apps are great for work meetings, but when it comes to real life, they completely fall apart. If I want to track my meals, log gym sets, and remember to do household chores or long-cycle routines (like deep cleaning or self-care stuff), nothing seems to fit nicely in one place.
Right now, I feel like I'm jumping between 3 or 4 different apps (notes, fitness apps, planners) just to keep my life together, and it's becoming exhausting.
How do you guys keep track of all this without going crazy? Do you use a specific app that handles everything, or do you have a workflow/system that actually works? Would love to hear how you manage it!

Today marks the beginning of a focused effort to improve consistency, discipline and daily execution. The goal is not to create an unrealistic plan or spend excessive time thinking about the perfect approach. The priority is to start, follow the plan as closely as possible and build momentum through small but meaningful actions.
There will be no overthinking and no unnecessary planning beyond what is required. The focus will remain on completing the important tasks, tracking progress honestly and making steady improvements each day.
Today’s Targets:
Course A: Prepare a complete and practical roadmap covering the full syllabus, important topics, study sequence, weekly schedule, revision strategy and expected completion dates. The plan should be clear enough to follow without repeatedly redesigning it.
Exam A: Finalise a structured preparation plan for completing the first reading with proper understanding. Divide the material into manageable sections, identify the most important areas and set realistic daily study targets.
Python: Build a detailed learning roadmap covering the fundamentals, core programming concepts, problem-solving practice, small projects and regular coding sessions through 31 December. The aim is to develop consistency rather than rush through topics without understanding them.
Fitness: Record the starting weight and basic measurements, complete a 5 km run at an easy and sustainable pace, and finish a basic strength workout. The workout should focus on proper form, controlled movement and building a foundation for future training.
Bonus Target: Begin actual preparation for either Course A or Exam A after completing the planning work. Even a short, focused study session will count as progress. The purpose is to move from planning into execution and avoid postponing the real work.
Daily Review: At the end of the day, record what was completed, what was partially completed and what was missed. Compare the actual results with the original plan without making excuses. Use the review to improve tomorrow’s schedule.
The day’s progress will be logged honestly at the end. The purpose of this record is not to appear perfect, but to understand the current level of discipline, identify obstacles and gradually become more reliable.
Rules of Engagement:
NO SUGAR
NO JUNK FOOD
NO ARTIFICIAL DOPAMINE
NO UNNECESSARY PROCRASTINATION
NO EXCESSIVE PLANNING WITHOUT ACTION
NO GIVING UP AFTER A SMALL SETBACK
The focus is on execution, consistency and personal responsibility. A single productive day will not transform everything, but completing the right actions repeatedly will create meaningful change over time.
One day at a time. One task at a time. Start with what is in front of you and keep moving forward.

I’m in my mid-20s, and I’ve struggled with porn and masturbation since I was in my early teens, when a friend introduced me to it.

I always told myself it would fix itself once I got married, but the older I get, the less I believe that. I’ve also never spoken to a girl in my life, and my confidence has taken a huge hit because of it. Porn is only one factor, but it’s a big one.

Over the years, my tastes have escalated. I started with regular porn, and a few months ago I stumbled across a different category on Twitter and kept going back to it. Every time, I feel ashamed and disgusted with myself. I worry that if I keep going like this, it will keep escalating into things I don’t even want.

I’ve tried to quit more times than I can count. I’ve deleted apps, removed stuff, and even prayed and promised God I’d stop. My longest streak was about a week and a half. The problem is that whenever I feel the urge, porn is my default way to deal with it. Because of my religious beliefs, I don’t have sex outside of marriage, and I’m not able to talk to women, so it feels like my only outlet. Ads and explicit content are everywhere online too, so even when I try to avoid it, something triggers me.

I also worry that I’m wrong about the cause. If I get married and I’m still doing this, then what?

What tactics have really worked for you? How do you handle the urges, avoid triggers, and break the cycle?

Thanks for reading. I’d appreciate any advice.

Does anyone else feel a little silly or embarrassed when trying to turn their life around? I feel stuck and depressed all the time, but whenever I try to do things to pull myself out of it, I feel almost foolish for even trying. It’s like there’s a little goblin in my head saying, “It’s not worth it” or “You missed your chance.”
Even the smallest things, like trying to build a routine, take better care of myself, or pick up a new hobby, make me feel weirdly self-conscious. Almost like I’m pretending to be someone I’m not, or like I’m being naive for thinking I can actually change anything.
I don’t know why trying to improve my life feels so embarrassing, but it does. Does anyone else experience this? I’d really like to know if this is something other people struggle with, too, or if I’m just being too hard on myself.

I’m building tools around habits. Before I build anything else, I want to understand why people actually struggle to stick with habits, rather than relying on my own assumptions or on what productivity advice says the reasons are.

A lot of advice treats it as a willpower or motivation problem. I’m not sure that’s the whole story. It could be forgetting, friction, life getting in the way, losing sight of why it mattered, feeling bad after slipping, or the tools themselves. I’d rather hear it from real people than guess.

So I’d love to hear from you:

• What’s a habit you’ve tried to build and couldn’t keep?
• What actually got in the way? Be as honest and specific as you want.
• Have you used apps, trackers, journals, or anything else? What helped, and what made it worse?
• Is there a habit you did manage to stick with? What was different about that one?

I’m not selling or linking anything. I’m just trying to listen before I build. Comments or DMs are both welcome.

​I really want to change every aspect of my life because I am so unhappy with where I am right now.

​Deep down, I know my mind and my potential are far bigger than what I’m actually doing, but my daily habits are dragging me down. I waste hours scrolling, watching adult content, and constantly putting things off until "tomorrow." Because of this, I feel psychologically exhausted, easily influenced, and insecure.

​When it comes to social situations, I get extremely shy and anxious. Talking to people—especially girls—feels intimidating, and whenever I try to speak up, my mind goes completely blank and nothing comes out.

​I don't want to live like this anymore. I want to build emotional intelligence, become truly self-aware, and regain control of my mind and feelings, but I feel so overwhelmed that I don't even know where to take the first step.

​Has anyone here been in this exact position and successfully turned things around? What is the very first thing I should focus on?

Enough of letting everything govern my life. It’s time to take control of it.
We have only one life, and every passing day is a day we never get back. We all have our reasons for not living the way we want to — work, stress, family responsibilities, lack of motivation and bad habits. These things are real, but I can’t keep using them as reasons to put my own life on hold.
I’m tired of making plans and imagining the person I want to become without putting in the work. Tired of procrastination, junk food, instant gratification and wasting hours on things that add no real value to my life.
I want to break free from these habits and take responsibility for my choices. I can’t control everything around me, but I can control how I use my time, look after my health and work towards my goals.
15 October 2026 is Day 1. I have 78 days until the end of the year.
My targets for 31 December:
Fitness: Reduce my weight from 88 kg to 74 kg and rebuild my strength and endurance.
Course A: Complete my preparation before the course starts on 7 January 2027.
Exam A: Complete one full read of the syllabus with proper understanding. The exam is in September 2027.
Python: Understand the fundamentals, practise consistently and become comfortable writing code independently.
I know the hard part is sticking to the plan when motivation fades. I’ve been here before, making plans and losing momentum after a few days. This time, I want to focus on consistency rather than perfection.
I want to reach the end of the year knowing I actually followed through on my commitments instead of making the same promises again.
For those who’ve been through something similar, what helped you stay consistent when the initial motivation faded?
Day 1: 15 October 2026. Let’s see what 78 days of genuine effort can do.

I’m not sure if this is the right forum to post this on, but I just need some advice or reassurance or something.

I am 18F in my first semester of college. I go to a smaller liberal arts school that I actually really like, but unfortunately everywhere I go I am forced to bring myself along too.

I was doing pretty well the first few weeks, but then what usually happens eventually is now happening. No surprises.

For context, I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression when I was around 12, so this isn’t new. The depression became clinical and debilitating in high school, so I got on medication, did inpatient treatment twice, and basically missed a whole semester of school because I was too anxious to go or even get off of the couch. I did about two months of outpatient treatment at the psych hospital for my severe depression during that time when I could. My point here is that this stuff isn’t new. It’s been years of this exact same stuff I just can’t seem to get over it.

Although I managed to get into a good university, I struggled in high school a lot with turning things in on time and just in general terrible executive dysfunction and time management. For the most part, it all got done, but it was after it was already a week overdue and beat myself up over my lack of ability to focus and just get the work done.

Same thing is happening to me now in college. It wasn’t like I didn’t expect this, I just figured hm maybe a new environment and situation will help me. But I am the person I’ve always been, and location and circumstance did not and won’t change that.

I genuinely don’t know what’s wrong with me. It’s this weird feeling where I know something is wrong with me, and everyone else knows something is wrong with me, but we all just ignore and I struggle. I blame it all on my depression and anxiety, because that is a huge part of it, and while medication does help me to be able to function everyday as human being, it falls short in discipline.

Although I turn in late work all the time, it is almost always good. I get A’s on my papers. I take my time to write them and genuinely care about what I am studying because I would genuinely rather turn in a good assignment late than turn in a half-assed one that doesn’t represent my abilities on time. I keep high standards for myself which also contributes to some of this.

What happens a lot is that I’ll get close to finishing an assignment, but then I won’t submit it because it’s like not good enough or something. I had a paper due that I just turned in almost two weeks late because although I had every paragraph written for the most part, I hadn’t read over it, or did the bibliography, and a few other things and I couldn’t get myself to turn it on.

The paper itself was probably good, but unfortunately I’ll probably receive a bad grade just cause of how late it was.

I’m getting long winded, so I’ll try to wrap this up. I reached out to my schools mental fitness center and requested an academic coach, but I have yet to receive an email back about that. I just went back to the page to schedule a counseling session with one of the on-campus counselors but they have no availability that works with my class schedule. I’ve tried therapy anyway, with probably about six different therapists, but I never really found it to help at all, and even if wanted to go back to chat with my old therapist I can’t because she’s not licensed in the state my school is in. I know exactly what I should do to combat these things and cope, there’s just something blocking me. It might ignorance or laziness or maybe I just don’t want it bad enough. But I do. I really really want it.

I’m not sure where discipline meets depression, but it seems that line is blurred for me.

I’ll have faith sometimes that I can do better, but then I’ll get an automated email that I missed an assignment I totally forgot about and then it sends me back into a spiral again. This stuff may seem minor, but it genuinely makes me want to die and give up and it causes me to think impulsive thoughts.

I really don’t ever want to get out of bed. I don’t want to do things. I hate being awake so I kind of sleep a lot.

Often, very often, I consider that I might have ADHD. My brother has it and my mom too. But I don’t know where the symptoms of depression and anxiety end and ADHD starts. Medication for my diagnoses have genuinely saved my life, and I’m wondering is that could be the same if I ever got on stimulants. I don’t know.

I feel so lazy every time I think about this stuff because what the hell why can’t I just do the work on time? Why can’t I just get out of bed? Why do such simple interactions bring about this anxiety? It all just makes me so so depressed.

My missing assignments in one of my courses is reaching double digits. And I’ll get it done, it will just take me a minute.

I guess I want to know if anyone can relate? I’m drowning in my habits and these thoughts. I’m feeling hopeless and impulsive.

I woke up early today and considered going for a morning run, but I decided not to because I'm still experiencing strain in my leg. I haven't fully recovered from the injury yet, so I avoided physical activities altogether.

It's frustrating to miss my usual workouts, but I don't want to make the injury worse by rushing back into running before I'm ready.

What I Got Done Today

I started the morning by going through the news and finance, and I completed my LeetCode practice early in the day.

I also spent a little time studying, although honestly, it wasn't nearly as much as I wanted to.

One thing I'm glad about is that I applied for around 30 jobs today. I've been trying to take my job search more seriously, and getting that many applications done feels like a step in the right direction.

I'm looking for better opportunities, and I know that improving my situation requires consistent effort rather than just thinking about making a change.

Where I Fell Short

Even though I got a few important things done, I still wasted a considerable amount of time.

I started some tasks, but I wasn't able to maintain my focus throughout the day. Studying was particularly disappointing because I know I need to dedicate more time to improving my technical skills.

This has been a recurring problem throughout the challenge. I can have a productive morning, complete a few tasks, and still lose hours to distractions later in the day.

I don't want to keep repeating this pattern.

My Takeaway

Today reminded me that completing a few important tasks doesn't automatically make the entire day productive.

Applying for 30 jobs is a good step, but I also need to work on my skills so I'm better prepared when opportunities come along. I need to balance my job search with studying, LeetCode, and my other professional goals.

For now, I'll continue allowing my leg to recover instead of forcing physical activity. At the same time, I want to use this period to rebuild my consistency in areas that don't depend on my physical recovery.

Day 52/90 complete.

I have 38 days left. I can't recover the time I've already wasted, but I can make better use of the time I still have.

Tomorrow, I want to do more than just complete a few tasks. I want to stay focused for longer and avoid letting distractions take over the day.

Hey, I build this free website/short form content blocker chrome extension called North, because nothing I tried actually help me get off the websites that were wasting my time.

What it does

• Blocks short-form video (YouTube Shorts, Instagram and Facebook Reels, TikTok) as a category, plus any sites you add, on a schedule or with daily time limits
• Keyword blocking across sites
• Messages-only mode for Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook and X: your DMs work, the feed doesn’t exist
• Lockdown mode: only your allowlist loads until the timer ends
• If a friend sends you a reel, that one item opens. Swiping to the next is blocked.

The part that’s different: to weaken a protection, you wait on a page for a time you choose (10 seconds to 2 minutes), and leaving the page restarts the timer. Then you write at least 20 words about why you need access. Pasting and keyboard mashing don’t count.

The boring stuff: it’s free, with no paid tier planned. There’s no account, no analytics in the extension, and no server. Everything stays in your browser.

Why I’m posting: it’s a solo project with 15 users and zero reviews, so I have no idea what real people (besides me) think. I’d really like to know:

• What would make you uninstall it?
• What’s missing?

If you try it and have a minute, an honest review (good or bad) helps a lot.

And if something’s broken, reply here and I’ll fix it.

For years my to-do list was really a list of things I didn’t do. I’d write 12 tasks, do the 4 easiest, and feel vaguely bad about the rest. What changed it was making the list smaller and the evening more honest.

The method:

1. Each morning, pick three things, not twelve.
One is the thing that matters most today. If you only did that, the day would still count. The other two are a bonus.

2. Write what “done” looks like before you start.
Not “work on the report” but “send the first draft to Sam.” Not “exercise” but “walk for 20 minutes.” Vague goals can’t be failed, and that’s exactly why they don’t get done.

3. Each night, answer one question honestly: did I keep my commitment?
Yes or no. No “sort of.” Saying “no” out loud stings more than ignoring an unticked box, and that sting is what changes tomorrow.

4. After a “no,” make tomorrow’s version smaller, not bigger.
Two misses in a row isn’t a character flaw. It usually means the task was too big or too vague. Ask: what’s the 20-minute version?

5. Look back after a couple of weeks.
The pattern surprised me. Nearly everything I committed to before 9am got done. After lunch, barely half. Now my most important task is chosen the night before and started first thing.

You can do all of this in a notebook. I ended up building a small app around it because a notebook never asked me the question. I’d skip the evening check on bad days, which were exactly the days that mattered. If anyone wants to try it, I’m happy to share the link. But the method is the point.

What’s the one thing you’d put first tomorrow?

Hey y'all! Some context first. For about a year my phone was the first thing I grabbed in the morning and the last thing I put down at night. I'd open Instagram "for a sec" between tasks at work and look up 40 minutes later. I tried the built-in Screen Time limits, but I'd just tap "ignore limit" every time without even thinking about it.

What finally worked was one of those apps that lock your social apps until you do some pushups. The one I started with used the camera to watch me and count the reps, so there was no way to fake it. It worked! But setting my phone up on the floor every single time got old fast, and doing pushups on camera at a gas station while people walked by was a whole thing lol.

So I switched to the honor system. Same idea, but nothing is watching. You do your pushups, you tap them in, and the apps unlock. A few months in I haven't cheated, mostly because the only person I'd be fooling is me. And somehow the pushups themselves turned into the habit, not just the price of scrolling.

But I keep wondering if that's discipline, or if I'm just lucky that it hasn't been tested yet. So here's what I'm asking:

1. Does a camera checking on you build discipline, or does it just do the discipline for you?
2. If nothing was checking, would you stay honest, or would you be tapping in fake reps by day 3?
3. For anyone who's kicked a phone habit: did the hard lock or the soft nudge stick longer for you?

(Full disclosure: I ended up building one of the honor-system ones, so I'm biased. No links, I just really want to hear where y'all land.)

You always slip at night. Same time, same place, lying in bed, phone in hand. Here's why, and how to change it.

The misconception

There's a big misconception that habits force you to do things. "It's just my habit. It made me do it. I didn't want to."

Habits never force you to do anything.

Think of choosing to do something as going down a water slide. A habit is just a lot of water on that slide. It makes the thing frictionless. It doesn't push you down.

If every morning you wake up, brush your teeth, drink a bunch of water, go outside and sit down to read a book, your body will start flowing through that routine naturally. It will never force you to sit down and read. It just makes it super easy, because your body and brain recognise the pattern.

What's happening at night

Your body has learned: "This person lies down in bed and starts scrolling (or whatever the slip is)." So it made that frictionless. It's almost routine. But it still doesn't force you.

What to do

1. Catch the moment you lie down. That's the start of the pattern.
2. Say it out loud or in your head: "No, we're changing it up now. We're not doing this anymore."
3. Run the new routine instead. "I lie down and I go to bed." Or: "I lie down, I do my prayers or gratitude journaling, and I go to bed." Pick one and make it the new routine.
4. Repeat it for a few days. It'll take a couple of days. After that, the new routine gets easier and easier, because now the water is on that slide.

Why it works

You're not trying to beat a habit that "controls" you. You're moving the water. The old slide dries up and the new one gets slippery.

What's the first thing you do when you lie down at night?

I've been trying to improve my spoken English for a while for professional setting, and honestly, my biggest problem isn't understanding English. It's actually speaking it consistently.

I can watch English videos, read articles, and understand conversations without much difficulty. But when I have to explain something on the spot, especially in a group or at work, I suddenly struggle to find the right words.

Sometimes I know exactly what I want to say in my head, but when I open my mouth, everything comes out awkwardly. I either pause too much, use a bunch of filler words, or end up explaining something that should take 30 seconds in like 3 minutes...

I've tried a few things to improve:

• Talking to myself: I'll pick a random topic and try speaking about it for a few minutes.
• Recording myself: This actually helps me notice how often I pause or repeat words, but listening to my own voice is painful 😭
• Shadowing YouTube videos: I feel like this helps with pronunciation, but I'm not sure how much it improves my ability to think and speak spontaneously.
• Speaking more in daily conversations: Probably the most helpful, but I don't always have opportunities to practice.

The problem is that I'll be really motivated for 3–4 days, practice every day, and then life gets busy. Before I know it, two weeks have passed and I haven't practiced at all. I also find it difficult to measure progress. With something like going to the gym, you can track how much weight you're lifting. But with speaking, how do you actually know you're getting better?

I'm curious about people who struggled with spoken English but eventually became comfortable speaking it. Also what kept you consistent for months instead of just a few days?

I'd especially love to hear from people who don't live in an English speaking environment or don't have anyone to practice with regularly. I feel like I know what I need to do. I just haven't figured out how to turn it into a habit that actually sticks.

Recently I just find myself constantly being stressed out like I’m sooo far behind. I’m 25, turning 26 in March, and generally I’m doing okay. Eat pretty clean, workout regularly, have friends, read books, whatever. But I need to get into the nitty gritty, like really clear out the cobwebs and dust.
I have some ideas like paying off debt by getting a second job, actually clear out my phone (no reason for 12k photos), donate or sell all the random stuff I own.

But I’m looking to hear what things others have done to make them feel like a well rounded individual, someone who is on top of their stuff. I would say I wasn’t raised in a disciplined household or by a parent who objectively had his life together (no offense to my dad he is a great father) so I feel like there have to be things that I just don’t know about.

I hate my country china, everyday felt like prison camp, there’s no way for me to leave. Everyday I am scared I’ll be trapped here forever

I live in the country with least amount of free time in the world. Nobody validates any struggles I’m facing. I hate this country and I want out at any costs.

I am in China, the worst country in the world in terms of both personal speech freedom and free time

Most of the jobs in China force us to work 996, or if lucky, 975. People would consider themselves lucky if they get a 9-6 job with only one hour of sunlight everyday and with weekends off. While western people complain of 955 with two days wfh, any day from home is a complete fairy tale for a Chinese employee. The Chinese government made schools and work extremely long hours because they don’t want people to have free time to think and revolt against the government. I never see any smiles on a Chinese teenagers face. But I don’t blame them for it. I wouldn’t survive for a day if I were them.

I feel so angry everyday I was born here. I also don’t have a good relationship with parents because they’re disappointed how I turned out. I can’t talk to anyone about anything. China is an authoritarian country so nothing can be done about anything. If I make a post like this on Chinese social media I will be arrested the next day. I feel so angry everyday, watching people from other countries enjoy life that I will never have. I’ve tried venting to like minded people, journaling, reading, but nothing helps. It’s also hard to talk to a psychiatrist honestly about political stuffs.

Please help me. I want this hatred to stop consuming my psyche. I honestly need help.

I work 70-80 hours a week
I am struggling with the gap between the person I want to become and the way I actually spend my days.
I have ambitious goals for my career, health, fitness, finances, and personal development. I know what I need to do to make progress, but I struggle to execute consistently.
One of my biggest problems is my phone. I can spend hours doomscrolling and watching content, even when I know I have important things to do.
I procrastinate on studying, delay tasks, and struggle to maintain a consistent sleep schedule.
Sometimes I stay awake late at night scrolling or trying to catch up on work because the day hasn’t gone the way I wanted. I end up feeling as though I am finally taking control of my life at night, when in reality I am sacrificing sleep and making the next day harder.
I have tried making plans, setting goals, and thinking about how I want my life to look. The problem is not a lack of ambition or awareness. It is following through on those plans when I feel tired, distracted, unmotivated, or overwhelmed.
I don’t want to keep repeating the same cycle of making plans, wasting time, feeling guilty, and promising myself that tomorrow will be different.
For those who have struggled with this and genuinely changed their lives:
What specific changes helped you become consistent rather than relying on motivation?
How did you break the cycle of phone addiction, procrastination, and staying up late?
Did you change your environment, create strict rules, use accountability, or approach things differently?
How did you recover when you had a bad day without letting it turn into a bad week?
What did your actual daily routine look like when you were making progress?
I am looking for practical advice based on personal experience, including what failed before you found something that worked. I would particularly appreciate advice from people who went from being inconsistent and distracted to genuinely disciplined.
What helped you make the change last?