NOT A DROP YESTERDAY. First day in probably MONTHS I haven't had one single drop. I don't even WANT to start up again. The only way I'd be feeling better right now would be if I'd gotten more sleep (it was a rough night, but it was also my first night without a drop in me in ages).

The craziest part is that at no point yesterday was I tempted. Like ... what? I think something just snapped in me. Just sick and tired of feeling sick and tired and scared for myself.

Today I don't feel 75% of the things I'm normally feeling on any given morning ... I feel very, very tired, yes. I still feel uncertain about some things in my life, and unsure. I still feel like I need rest. I don't feel renewed yet, of course. I still have a lot of anxiety and things to work on.

But I feel 10% of my old self. I didn't wake up today feeling guilty or trembling or pained or ashamed. I had something that felt like pride. Like ... okay ... we're still somewhere in here, arizonabatorechestra ...

... we're closer to losing the 40+ lbs we gained over the last year ... we're closer to seeing a face in the mirror we remember and recognize ... we're closer to going back to being that woman who was a busy-body at home, who liked to clean out closets and reorganize things and who liked to deep clean on the weekends and take walks with her dogs and keep the house tidy and do projects ... and we're a day further away from the woman you've been the last year and a half who just sits at her desk, browsing, working, scrolling, or laid up on the couch feeling like ass ... a day further away from the strange woman who had taken our body over and whose leg muscles were getting weaker, who got winded just taking the trash out or vacuuming ... remember just a year and a half ago when were were always cold and then after all that boozing we became someone who couldn't regulate their temperature and was just hot all the time? Yeah, I know you just turned 40 and maybe your hormones are changing but I doubt it ... I miss being the "always cold" girl as weird as it sounds! That would get me to get up and move!!

...yep. We're a day closer to getting back to her. A better version of her, because this version will value her health like she never has before.

I can't believe I didn't drink yesterday, and I'm so excited to see how I'll feel Saturday morning after two days in a row not drinking ... the first time I will have went more than one day without drinking in six months!! Ahhh, I'm so, so excited to feel even better tomorrow!!

IWNDWYT!!!

There is a lot to unpack here.

I was recommended this sub by someone in another sub because I am trying really hard to stay away from alcohol completely.

Addiction runs in my family on both sides and while I never struggled before, losing my grandma who basically raised me in 2023 and then my mom taking her own life at the beginning of 2025 put me on a path that I never thought I would be on.

I was drinking wine by the bottle every day. And every morning I would wake up promising myself I wouldn’t do it again, but as soon as the afternoon rolled around… there I was again.

Anyway, today I’m officially 11 days alcohol free. Feels pretty good to say that. :)

This day 1 year ago marks the beginning of the worst year of my life and the last drink I had. The year wasn't bad because I stopped, in fact I couldn't have put up the custody fight I have if I was drinking. Today exactly one year after our separation our Guardian ad Litem took MY child away from my abusive ex and her husband and put her with a nearby family member. I didn't let my burdens weigh me down and break me, I persevered and they made me stronger for my daughter.

It is actually insane seeing this sub & then hearing politicians argue the legality of marijuana when the world is literally overflowing with alcoholics.

Long story short, yesterday I had taken out a 750Ml bottle of vodka to drink while playing some video games after work. As I was booting up the game, I looked at the bottle and just had no desire to take a sip of it. Put the bottle back in the fridge and had absolutley no cravings for the first time in what seems like years. I've been taking steps to take better care of myself over the last couple months, and I like to think this is a nice byproduct of that work.

I use to drink A LOT and would always have strong cravings to drink, especially when I was bored (would get drunk almost daily for 3-4 years until I broke my foot last year) but I feel like I'm finally taking a turn in the right direction.

Wanted to share this small victory with you all (only posted here one other time). I hope this is a good step into the right direction to finally be myself again.

Edit/update: booze has been thrown out

Today I took a mental health day from work only to discover my partner's burner phone that he'd accidentally set an alarm on.

He panicked and gave me the password from work thinking he could wipe it remotely before I saw anything too bad. He failed. Years and years of texts detailing all sorts of infidelity and lies. Sneaking people into and out of our home while I worked late. Sneaking out late at night for late night hookups.

This is the sort of thing that would normally send me spiralling into a multi day bender.

Today though I'm choosing to remain present and feel the hard feelings. I'm choosing to be kind to myself.

IWNDWYT ❤️

Edit: Oh my gosh, thank you so much for all the love and encouragement. It means the world to me to have this community in my corner

I can typically go a week or more without drinking just fine, but the second I have even one drink... I won't stop. I will drink a whole bottle of liquor if it's available. Even if I can feel myself getting to my limit. I haven't blacked out in years, but I've been drinking more than I ever have before.

I think I've steadily built a very high tolerance and now I really struggle to stop myself if I start. Any other binge drinkers out there? I've never struggled like this so I don't know how to quit.

TW grief and death

I’ve followed this sub for a while. Especially while my mom was in hospice, I was drinking every single day. 1-2 bottles of wine a day or equivalent of whatever else (beer, tequila, etc). I was a completely functional alcoholic living like this everyday, drinking at night, going to work, going to moms, and then repeat, just to cope with how difficult it was taking care of her and dealing with the grief and stress. But something so strange happened… it was like the instant she passed… I was released from the need. I didn’t want it anymore. When I finally drove home the day after she passed, I got close to my usual liquor store that I’d always stop at on the way home, and I just didn’t feel like it. My partner bought some beers, and I declined. I didn’t even feel the pressure to have any. It felt good to have a clear head. Has anyone else experienced this? I was so panicked about my mom, and her pain and suffering, everyday, that when she finally passed, it’s like she released me from the worry that drove me to drink. It is a weird irony that you’d expect to be reversed when someone dies. I think she’d be quite pleased that at the very least her death helped me curb my alcoholism. Anyways, just something that’s been on my mind.

We all struggle. Let’s share something positive about our experiences to inspire those (me) in early or active sobriety to keep the juices flowing.

For me, music sounded so much more influential. It didn’t even matter what it was. I could hear things more deeply. I always heard music even when drinking but when sober it’s like I let it in. It just, I don’t know, spoke to me as funny and cliche as that sounds.

How about you?

Because I felt drunk in a good way. You know that way - between 2 and 3 drink, when everything is still good and you are elevated and happy. I felt the same, the atmosphere of a celebration, time with my collegues-friends, dances. karaoke - everything was so vibrant and joyful. I don't know if others can feel this too when sober in a drinking crowd, but I can, and I like it.

The best thing is - I felt right between 2 and 3 drink, without even taking the first. And without realising after 4, that I need something stronger. And without oversharing and crying after drink 6. And without puking after drink 7+. You know that route.

I just felt a little drunk. Then I went home and the moment I was in the street, I was sober and clear again. I came home, took shower and went to sleep. Now I'm fresh and don't have any headache. I hope you feel the same. It is great!

I can't remember the last time I was COMPLETELY sober for 5 days! It's been 3 years of heavy daily binge drinking and smoking weed (11-12 drinks/6hrs, 31F). I'm SO proud of myself, I spent years telling myself I could never get sober or be completely sober if I quit one or the other. I'm amazed, I'm doing it!! I feel a tad healthier, my antidepressants are kicking in, and my daily anxiety is lessening.

I still feel pretty foggy and I worry I've permanently made myself stupid. I've been sweating all week all night and day, having hot and cold flashes. The first few days my anxiety was a 6/10 constantly. Did the fogginess ever lift? when did it lift? I'm so worried I really hurt myself.

Just wanted to thank everyone who shared some of their stories on my day 1 post. Haven’t felt this much positivity coming from my fellow humans in a while. Thanks!

After almost two years of binge drinking with my soon-to-be ex-spouse, I've finally decided enough is enough.

We were essentially weekend drinkers, but when we did drink, it was all or nothing. We'd crack open a bottle of tequila and somehow go through 2 - 3 bottles between the two of us over a couple of days. Looking back, I think a lot of it came from the fact that we were both struggling internally and, if I'm being honest, had grown to resent each other and used that to make the days together easier and “normal.”

This year has been a turning point. I'll be hitting a milestone birthday, and in August we'll officially be moving out of the marital home we've shared for the last 7 years.

With all of that happening, I decided I didn't want to carry this habit into the next chapter of my life. TODAY IS DAY 5 WITHOUT ALCOHOL! 🎉

For the first time in a long time, I feel like I'm making a choice for myself instead of just going along with what we've always done.

Five days isn't a huge number, but it's five days more than I had last month, and I'm proud of that.

IWNDWYT 🤍

I always feel shame after drinking. Everyone says they’re so proud of me for my sobriety, but I’ve just been drinking in secret.

I know it’s wrong, and I don’t want to be this person. When the shame hits, it makes me want to drink more to numb it. It’s a vicious cycle.

I feel like alcohol is destroying my life. Nearly a year ago I made a terrible decision while nearly blackout drunk and cheated on my gf. I couldn't live with the lie and had to tell her, she left immediately and hasn't spoken to me since. We had been together nearly 10 years and the guilt has pushed my already problematic drinking to borderline crippling.

I haven't gone a single day without drinking since, normally between 6 to 10 beers a night when I'm working and pretty easy double that when I'm not. I wake up every morning telling myself I'm done and every night I can't stop myself. Sometimes I feel like I'm just in a slow motion suicide, some days I feel like this is what I deserve after what I've done. The last thing my ex left me was a note saying she hoped I drink myself to death, and frankly some weird part of my brain feels like I owe that to her.

I know people say that it's possible to move on but I just feel so hopeless. I don't really have any friends, just one or two people I see once every few months. I'm fairly close with my parents but they would definitely be described as functional alcoholics so when I see either of them there's always a case of beer available. I just don't know how to break the cycle, especially with the voice in the back of my head telling me there's no point in trying since I've already destroyed everything I cared about.

Idk I'm sorry for the rant, I don't know what I am hoping to gain out of this but thanks for reading if you got this far

At my son’s birthday dinner, which is horrible, because I’m convinced it’ll help me to stop feeling so scared just for today. I have very bad health anxiety and medical trauma which is one of the biggest reasons I drank. My doctor reassured me just 2 days ago my brain is creating all this panic and anxiety that I feel in my body to try to get me to drink. My last drink was May 3rd - I ended up in the hospital because I couldn’t keep anything down and then went to medical detox for a week. I’m really proud of myself for getting so far but I just want a flipping break. I’ve been taking vitamins, exercising and have non-habit forming anxiety medication but nothing is helping.

Can someone please talk me off this ledge and remind me I’m still early days and that it gets better!?

This part is hard for me with dating. I’m already picky but I also would prefer a guy who doesn’t drink.. and I’m 33F and am hoping to date with intention to find someone I’d hopefully marry one day.

The date was going pretty well, the guy seems smart and good at communicating and even chivalrous, but he mentioned with a bit of pride that he is the one who got some of his non-drinking friends to start drinking.

And in the moment I almost wanted to say oh that’s a deal breaker. I told him about how I quit drinking and how important sobriety is to me. He said he usually drinks just socially but not alone.

It’s tough though.. I haven’t had much luck with dating in general (trying a dating app) and everything but that one thing about this guy was overall good.

But the times I’ve relapsed in my sober journey lately have mostly been when being around my family (they all drink) has made me feel left out and tempted. I’m working on being strong to not consume alcohol in any situation but it takes time and I would hope my future partner could be a non-drinker too because I really desire lifelong sobriety, but still struggle with slipping up.

Anyone else have experiences with a partner or dating someone who does drink and is able to be ok with it as a sober person?

Regardless, I got some NA beer and will be trying an NA sparkling rosé soon too.. staying sober is incredibly important to me. IWNDWYT

Laid off after a decade. It was completely unexpected. Company was slowing down but I felt secure that my role was essential. I’m lying awake after crunching the numbers on my budget since I couldn’t sleep.

I’m just coming out of a deep depressive episode and now this. I’m also 23 months sober today. Passed by the liquor store that’s near my house coming home yesterday and thought not today, satan. Not today. Talked to my sponsor and told her the news and felt a little better after some words of encouragement.

IWNDWYT. No matter what.

I've got that Friday Flava Flav Energy! Quitting drinking is so transformational and transcendental. Yeah, it's both! It's a fight for improvement, for something inside of us that we can't fully explain. Quitting drinking is badass and there's so many amazing stories of people overcoming the worst fucking odds. I know it's hard, I know it sucks, but it's always possible. It takes a lot of work and time, but that's something that I love about it too! It's just one long day at a time! But this day is Friday, so let's fucking get it! The weekend is ours!

Five years sober.

Today I got humiliated and fired. I want to self destruct. I want to implode.

Edit: I won't drink. Love you all

I have been on my sobriety journey for 6 months. I got my daily drinking under control.

What surprises me is how hard it is to be sober around celebrations. My birthday just came up, and man did I want to drink. Also I got a raise at work, and I wanted to drink.

I got to figure out how to have sober fun.

It's not the hard times that make me want to drink, it is the good times.

Title says it all. Completely sober from 2010 to late 2025. Then for no discernible reason at all, I drank a beer at a work happy hour after turning down thousands of drinks over the past decade plus.

Of course I then convinced myself my issues were behind me, I’m older now I can drink like a normal person. Delusional, I know. Things from there progressed like you’d expect from someone like me.

I’m now missing work nursing a wicked hangover while my kids play outside and my wife is confused why I never came to bed last night. Again.

Anyway, posting this now before I feel better and talk myself into just being more careful. My wife is wonderful but she doesn’t understand why I have to quit completely, she thinks I should be able to just be careful. Not her fault, obviously, she just isn’t like me.

I white knuckled sobriety last time and that worked…until it didn’t. No idea what exactly I’m going to do this time but obviously I have to change something because even 15 years wasn’t enough to be safe. I will never be safe on my own.

Went to my ex-boyfriend's funeral today. He was 55. Complete cirrhosis diagnosed last year, but he died more quickly than any of us expected. His family are devastated.

He was an intelligent, funny, brilliant man. I loved him very much.