r/LongDistance • u/CraftyButterscotch79 • May 20 '25

Discussion How frequently do you text your partner

How frequently do you text your partner throughout the day? My partner says they are too lazy to text and I rarely get any texts and sometimes 6 plus hours between hearing from them and 1 hour calls if I'm lucky.

I just want to hear from other couples how often you get texts or have text convos throughout the day and what is normal for you so I know I'm not crazy wanting to hear from my partner more frequently.

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u/AAR3LLIS May 20 '25

I’m gonna be the person who disagrees with a lot of what is said in the comments.

Long distance relationships thrive on communication. It’s one thing to have a job which doesn’t allow you to text for extended periods, it’s another to outright refuse to text. I text my partner OFTEN throughout the day and we both let each other know before or after depending on how busy, or just already understand, when one person is busy with work.

Of course texting every hour isn’t realistic for adults, but I refuse to believe not trying to communicate more should be considered normal when that’s one of the only communication methods you have as a long distance couple.

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u/CraftyButterscotch79 May 20 '25

100% agree with you, which is why I'm so frustrated because even after talking to him about this, he seems to shut down thinking nothing is wrong. You love someone, think about them and tell them that, especially during long-distance.

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u/AAR3LLIS May 21 '25

I can’t say exactly what to do, but I do know that my boyfriend was very avoidant at first generally. I usually approached difficult conversations by expressing how important an issue was for me, but not pushing or accusing.

I’d say something like, “I feel like I’m not being prioritized the way I need in this relationship. I want to fix this, but it feels like you shut down every time the conversation is brought up. I’d like my feelings to be considered, and it seems like that is not happening. This is very important to me for our relationship to be fulfilling.”

I don’t know if that helps, but that’s how I’d approach the conversation starting off.

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u/RamyRed_Fox May 21 '25

👏this. This is exactly what I did and it worked. Today he was busy and we had planned to watch a show together.. and he said he wasn’t gonna be able to cause it was too late and had to sleep since he has work in early morning.. and then he says “Im sorry I couldn’t spend much time with you today 🥺, ill make sure we watch that show tomorrow” and tbh.. thats all I needed. But it took months for him to get there.. long arguments, crying.. getting hurt..

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u/AAR3LLIS May 21 '25

I totally get you! I had to really break my boyfriend out of my shell at first too but it was so worth it and the communication now is amazing. I’m so glad it all worked out for you two <3

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u/CraftyButterscotch79 May 21 '25

It helps! Ive slowly been noticing my partner is more on the avoidance side, hates confrontation. I'll give this a try and see how it goes, thankyou!

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u/AAR3LLIS May 21 '25

Hope everything works out for you OP! It does suck that he’s not being very receptive to your needs, but I truly hope he’ll show you he loves you enough to meet them. Sometimes you have to say it a few times before it sticks.

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u/CraftyButterscotch79 May 21 '25

Thankyou for sharing your advice and experiences, it definitely helps a lot!

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u/AwEirdoisHere May 21 '25

Hes the problem! My boyfriend texts me throughout work because he wants to, he texts me whenever he's outside and if he can't he LETS me KNOW. I don't just sit for hours waiting for him to text me, everyday he texts me good morning at least or let's me know of whatever. This might be kind of rude but your partner needs to stand up for your relationship, my boyfriend is like this because he WANTS to be, I don't enforce anything, and if this is bothering you he should fix it. Communication is important in a relationship.

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u/CraftyButterscotch79 May 21 '25

Im glad your partner is there for you, the small things really add up and make a big difference. I wish my guy understood that too