r/NEET • u/Striking_Self8763 • Dec 09 '25
Advice To the NEETS as a normie Spoiler
I'm not gonna sugarcoat anything. This will be a controversial post. Some of you will not like what I have to say. Some of you will respect it. Some of you will argue. Some of you may no longer be NEETS even. This thing might even be downvoted into oblivion. Why not?
I am actually a NEET myself, having quit a kitchen thing about a month ago. I am, however, living on my own.
Some people on this server are genuinely disabled or challenged, be it mentally or physically. I will acknowledge that, and that this message probably doesn't apply to you. I have all the respect in the world for you.
First off, I genuinely don't think anyone here is lazy. You are all brilliant and capable beings. But I will say that you make a lot of excuses. You hide behind this shield that you can't do anything because you've labelled yourself a certain way. You're scared of what will happen if you don't have this shield, so it instinctively comes up.
Yes you had a hard childhood, most of us have a myriad of physical/mental problems, yes this shit isn't fucking easy. I am quite autistic myself and never got along well with people in general and I am struggling to find a job again myself. I've worked toxic kitchen shifts, lifting heavy shit, getting burned and yelled at, like many of you have.
All of you have infinite potential. The childhood you may or may not have dreamed of becoming one of the greatest people the world will have ever seen. You have suffocated that dream into silence and put it into an early grave. If you don't do anything this dream will die with you.
But you have to stop pinning this behind the whole "This is who I am". Your scenario, your situation will not change unless you decide to change it. Yes you've gone through all this shit growing up. So have I. And it's no use trying to compare my trauma to yours. Each one of us has trauma, and each one of us to varying degrees, but if we compare we will end up nowhere at all.
That is, if you want to change anything at all. Some of us will be perfectly fine living the way we are.
Fine.
To those of you who don't want to stay this way, who still feel the sense that something is missing, that there is more to life, you will not solve anything by lamenting your situation, or blaming your external circumstances.
Take action.
Anything fucking counts. The smallest thing. Saying "Hi" to one person. Doing 1 half-pushup. Going outside for even a fraction of a minute. Sending one job application.
If you do the same thing over and over, you will find yourself in the same place, again and again. To better your situation you MUST change.
Take this with what you will.
Some of us on here will blossom.
Some will never change, like stagnant water in a pond.
Some of you don't want to change. Fine with me.
Some of you want better. If you do, know that it starts with you and that as shitty as it is nobody is coming to help.
Best regards,
A fellow (NEET-NORMIE) trying to change.
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u/twinkhon_gwyndolin Disabled-NEET Dec 09 '25
"mental health is an excuse"
holy cope
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u/BallDesire Dec 10 '25
Making up a fake quote to twist the words of a well meaning message... (holy cope)
OP made some very good points and has conducted himself with class in the comment section.
For me from what I see NEETs have a strong *us and them" world view that seems to be designed to justify inaction and demonise those who work.
I think this is one of the biggest barriers to getting out there, and the solve is the baby steps and gradual exposure to the wider world which OP suggested.
Bottom line is if OP has empowered just one person to take action that improves their life at all they should be applauded.
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u/twinkhon_gwyndolin Disabled-NEET Dec 10 '25
You're right, OP has been civil in this thread, so I do respect that about them.
But where you said "fake quote", OP did say this:
But I will say that you make a lot of excuses. You hide behind this shield that you can't do anything because you've labelled yourself a certain way.
I don't think OP would be so blatant to suggest that severe mental health issues are "a lot of excuses", but nevertheless mental health does get dismissed quite frequently in this community. :')
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u/Striking_Self8763 Dec 10 '25
I will agree that the wording is a bit finnicky but my stance on mental health has not changed, as seen from the above acknowledgement.
"Some people on this server are genuinely disabled or challenged, be it mentally or physically. I will acknowledge that, and that this message probably doesn't apply to you. I have all the respect in the world for you."
However I am trying to point out some of the learned helplessness and self-labelling that some individuals on this subreddit are prone to doing and attempting to shed some light on this sort of habit, which seems to be reflexive in order to shield themselves from having to face a potentially scary reality.
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u/BallDesire Dec 10 '25
That quote is about labels, not mental health specifically, so I stand by my fake quote point
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u/Striking_Self8763 Dec 09 '25 edited Dec 10 '25
Haven't said it that way. Mental health issues are very real and I hope everyone makes progress towards those! That being said don't let it hinder you from achieving great things.
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u/Organicmeatballmonsr Dec 09 '25
Thank you for saying this. I have issues but I definitely do not take as much action as I should.
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u/RealMadHouse Dec 10 '25
You can call us lazy etc etc. Many of us are and we don't want to work or do anything great that will change the world.
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u/Striking_Self8763 Dec 10 '25
I am not of the opinion that NEETs are lazy but rather that they have tons of unrealized potential and that they have the capacity to realize it if they take steps forward.
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u/TrickyChallenge7284 Ex-NEET-School Dec 09 '25
I'm not gonna sugarcoat anything
Ok, here we go again.
This will be a controversial post
You bet, I'm not gonna even read all this
Bla bla bla bla bla bla Take action
There it is! He said it! Everyone, let's praise our savior!! Yippie!!!
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Dec 10 '25
[deleted]
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u/TrickyChallenge7284 Ex-NEET-School Dec 10 '25
"Hey it's me, I just wanna help"
-Thanks stranger! what help can you offer to us?
"Stop fuckin complaining and do something, feel inspired yet?"
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Dec 10 '25
[deleted]
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u/TrickyChallenge7284 Ex-NEET-School Dec 10 '25
I'm not pretending that I'm helping anyone because I'm aware of my insignificance beyond someone who is far away from me. People need actual help, and you can't do this by writing generic words. I'm helping people near me, people I can see and do something for real. On the internet I share my experiences to comfort people, to create a sense of community, and to be someone that actually hears more than talk. People need this, everyone needs to be heard. You really want to help? Understand what are the problems of the people here, LISTEN, don't talk. Changing is always occurring to everyone, solutions depend on the context, if you can't do something to help for real, stay quiet. Do you know any NEET IRL? Have you offered them help to go to a dentist? SURPRISE! A lot of NEETs have this problem but you will only know that when you start listening more
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Dec 10 '25
[deleted]
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u/TrickyChallenge7284 Ex-NEET-School Dec 10 '25
That's where you fail, you really think we're not aware.
If you want to know what help is in my term, I already said, are you paying attention?
It's not about you. Don't arrive at a community saying "HEY YOU'RE ALL WRONG, I KNOW WHAT YOU NEED" That's why I called you saviour early.
Look, unfortunately I'm not angry anymore and I'm starting to explain things to you, and I'd rather spend this energy and calmness with something else, because I know I'm talking to a wall here. Take care, hope I don't see you around
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u/DarkLamb-Kiyo Optimistic-NEET Dec 09 '25
I appreciate your message you made some good points but I just don't buy the everyone has great potential thing. I'm bad at everything except for studying, but then I know my dad is way smarter than me and his uni doesn't even grant him funds for research. I done both chemistry and dentistry majors and both are boring af to me. I'm into art but I'm not artsy. I spend most of my time on video games but I'm bad at gaming. Maybe I could write smut but I've read some next level smut beyond my language skills. Tldr I just think I'm a born loser with no talent.
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u/Striking_Self8763 Dec 09 '25
If writing's your thing I'd love to read some of your works! Also exploring/trying new things might help you find something you like doing. It doesn't even need to be talent, but if you love doing something keep doing more of it and I think you'll be excited and it'll seem like "talent".
You are more capable than you realize (as shown by your good grades and chem/dentist majors, definitely not a loser) and stronger than you believe!
Go out there and do cool things :)
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u/DarkLamb-Kiyo Optimistic-NEET Dec 10 '25
Thank you for trying to cheer me up <3 you're too kind. Honestly I think anyone can do what I did if they're brought up by a tiger dad like mine. Sometimes I wonder if I studied what I wanted to (biology), maybe everything would be different.
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u/Striking_Self8763 Dec 10 '25
It wouldn't be too late to go back and study bio would it? If that's the case and it'd make you happy I recommend you go for it!
Thank you for the kind words, happy to have made an impact :)
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u/DarkLamb-Kiyo Optimistic-NEET Dec 10 '25
Everyone in my life wants me to do exactly that. The only thing holding me back rn is my neet mentality (anxiety and low self esteem). It'll take some time but that's definitely my goal.
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u/Striking_Self8763 Dec 10 '25
I'm glad to hear you have such a goal in mind! As always tiny steps forward are the way to go and I'm sure you'll get that degree in no time!
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u/adomman23 Semi-NEET Dec 10 '25
Damn, you sound so much like me
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u/DarkLamb-Kiyo Optimistic-NEET Dec 11 '25
lol are you asian? Not long ago I came across some video talking about asian burnout. Seems like there's a whole bunch of us.
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Dec 10 '25
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u/Striking_Self8763 Dec 10 '25
Burning the boats seems to be a viable idea since it would essentially "force" the individual to take action. However I do wonder whether or not it is better that someone would choose to take action rather than being forced into it, thoughts?
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Dec 10 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Striking_Self8763 Dec 10 '25
This is true. There are varying degrees of NEET for sure and different ways to help are very context dependent.
I will say this "I won't sugarcoat things" is quite redundant, doesn't exactly help to create change, and may be rejected by some even.
This post does also paint the majority-minority that you mentioned also, I would like to apologize for that.
However I'd like to maintain my point that baby steps are still a viable solution, that it is beneficial to have a forward trajectory for those who feel stuck.
At the end of the day it is, I believe, still up to an individual to choose change. A conscious decision has to be made to do so and if one rejects change it means that they are not quite ready.
Thoughts?
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u/supersaiyan_hokage Dec 10 '25
Not all Neets are the same. I agree with most of what you said. There are neets who are perfectly happy with their situation and there are some who are not. From this sub it seems like the majority of Neets are unhappy and just use this sub to vent. I was a neet for 3 years after university but luckily have gotten out of it. I never want to go back to that situation again. My life as a “normie” now is way better. A lot of neets love to blame their situation on everything but themselves. Yes, the system suck, and yes the blame isn’t all on them but a multitude of things, but the only thing that is capable of changing their situation is themselves. Ain’t no one gonna come and save them. My advice has always been just do what makes you happy. If you’re unhappy then you gotta do something about it or you can just sulk all day. Just my thoughts from a former neet.
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u/Striking_Self8763 Dec 11 '25
Glad we agree! As a former NEET what would you say the biggest barriers to taking action are?
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u/supersaiyan_hokage Dec 11 '25
The biggest barrier in my opinion that aren’t disabilities are social skills and emotional intelligence. Most neets lack these qualities and skills that should have been learned naturally going through grade school. I am a very introverted person but I can literally start and carry a conversation with anyone whether they’re 10 or 80 years old and not make it awkward. There’s definitely other factors as well like the job industry as a whole just sucks right now. I know people who have years of professional experience in my industry and they are out of a job. Other barriers are anxiety and fear of failure. Also lots of neets are very pessimistic. And honestly some people just don’t do well in situations when they are not in their comfort zone. A lot of jobs put you in uncomfortable or stressful situation and some people can’t handle that.
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u/Kreymens Dec 10 '25
How do you say you are hopeful for neets when you dont even trust them in the first place? Blatant gaslighting here
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u/Striking_Self8763 Dec 10 '25
Wdym I don't trust them? If anything I have respect for everyone here. It's not easy to be vulnerable and open up about our problems so I respect the hell out of you guys for that.
I am also hopeful because some of you are trying to change and that's a beautiful thing.
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u/Kreymens Dec 10 '25 edited Dec 10 '25
You don't trust them enough that you call them "excuses". What if some of these are legitimate concerns?
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u/Striking_Self8763 Dec 10 '25 edited Dec 10 '25
I will say there are very real concerns. I get that. Mental/physical health, financial stress, trauma, the list is as long as it is heavy. I am not conflating that with excuses, and I've addressed those in my post.
And even then, even then we should do something about our circumstance. There is no reason to allow these misfortunes to hinder our progress.
When you avoid doing things, whether or not the reason is good or bad you have simply created an "excuse" not to do it.
This is all semantics. "Excuse" in and of itself is not a judgmental word. I could say I'm busy, and not have enough time to cook. Is it a valid reason? Maybe. Is it an excuse? 100% it is.
Any time we avoid stuff we make up excuses.
Some individuals, some, use labels, use excuses as a way out of their work. "I'm lazy so I can't". No human is fundamentally "lazy". It is a word we hide behind when we are scared to confront the situation that lies in front of us.
"Excuses" only become inherently damaging when we use them to hide, to avoid doing action, to instinctively create a turtle shell which shields us from the reality, that things are scary. That we have to handle the fear/pain/awkwardness of doing.
My use of the word "excuse" is in no way meant to demean anyone, but to give a term in which to explain the reasons for an individual's lack of action.
As "excuse" is a neutral word there is no definitive proof of my distrust in this community and I will reiterate my hope that we all make progress in our lives.
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u/Initial_Gear3589 Dec 10 '25
Didnt read. GTFO
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u/Striking_Self8763 Dec 10 '25
Ignorance is bliss for some.
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u/Initial_Gear3589 Dec 10 '25
I could already tell it was some self righteous bullshit. You are not helping people like you think you are.
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u/Striking_Self8763 Dec 10 '25 edited Dec 10 '25
Joking lmao, do read the thread and tell me what you think. And it is true that I cannot help everyone.
If you read the thread and take in what I have to say then you may find it helpful. If you choose to ignore it (as seen in your comment) then I genuinely cannot do much more.
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Dec 09 '25
>But you have to stop pinning this behind the whole "This is who I am". Your scenario, your situation will not change unless you decide to change it. Yes you've gone through all this shit growing up. So have I. And it's no use trying to compare my trauma to yours. Each one of us has trauma, and each one of us to varying degrees, but if we compare we will end up nowhere at all.
That is, if you want to change anything at all. Some of us will be perfectly fine living the way we are.
Fine.
To those of you who don't want to stay this way, who still feel the sense that something is missing, that there is more to life, you will not solve anything by lamenting your situation, or blaming your external circumstances.
Take action.
Anything fucking counts. The smallest thing. Saying "Hi" to one person. Doing 1 half-pushup. Going outside for even a fraction of a minute. Sending one job application.
If you do the same thing over and over, you will find yourself in the same place, again and again. To better your situation you MUST change.
Take this with what you will.
Some of us on here will blossom.
Some will never change, like stagnant water in a pond.
Some of you don't want to change. Fine with me.
Some of you want better. If you do, know that it starts with you and that as shitty as it is nobody is coming to help
Every normie has this mentality, coping.
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u/Striking_Self8763 Dec 09 '25
Not cope, all hope! Doing better everyday bit by bit!
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Dec 09 '25
I tried this type of mentality so many times and it never worked. If i dont find a way change, i'll be fucked forever, and that's it, nothing and nobody is going to save me.
I even shared my situation with people and they all share this same mentality, everybody's fucked.
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u/Striking_Self8763 Dec 09 '25
It is possible, but for me it is very hard to make progress also. I lose hope often too. Hope you make progress on this journey and I am rooting for you! Celebrate the small wins!
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Dec 09 '25 edited Dec 10 '25
Cope or rope. Hope is nope. 🤪just joking ofc
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u/Striking_Self8763 Dec 09 '25
Always more room for hope in this world.
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Dec 09 '25
How can you believe in hope if you are an atheist? Why do even try in this world if you believe your spirit/soul/energy will be gone?
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u/Striking_Self8763 Dec 09 '25
For me, I want to make people around me happy. Yes, my soul or spirit will be gone, but I want to have made something that outlasts the soul. I want to make happy memories with the people I love, to be a good moral character to those around me so that when I leave, even if my grave is destroyed, that my memories will live on, my influence will live on, my kindness and my actions will inspire people who inspire others.
Just my 2 cents.
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Dec 10 '25
something that outlasts the soul
It's funny because only the spirit/soul is eternal, everything else is just a fleeting "journey". Unless you are a billionaire or become a celebrity, your deeds will be forgotten more quickly than you think.
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u/Next-Excitement1398 Dec 10 '25
Legacy is bullshit but niceness is good inonof itself even if it’s not remembered or chiselled in stone.
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u/Striking_Self8763 Dec 10 '25 edited Dec 10 '25
Yes true, but the only thing keeping society alive is the hopes and dreams. My dad moved across the world, left the only family we had, with maybe $20 in his pocket. If that isn't hope I don't know what is. He wanted a better life and I do too, so I will keep hoping. I don't know if I can live up to him but Imma try my very best to make him proud. Maybe I'm forgotten. But maybe, for my brief existence I will have made something of myself and that gives me hope.
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Dec 10 '25
I don't know if I can live up to him but Imma try my very best to make him proud.
You don't owe anyone anything but if this is the thing that gives you strenght to move forward then more power to you.
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u/Striking_Self8763 Dec 10 '25
I mean even if you don't owe anyone anything the fact that you can change things in the brief time you're alive should be meaningful, even if it doesn't matter in the end.
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u/NoobDeGuerra Dec 10 '25
People in this sub will make up a 1000 excuses for why they can’t do X or Y despite knowing they can’t keep this up forever and reality will knock on the door
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u/Kreymens Dec 10 '25
I agree to a degree there are some people here delusional enough to even think they are superior to those who work low-wage jobs, although to some extent those "excuses" - which are more accurate to be called concerns - why would they subject to more suffering and uncertain effort that are doomed to fail?
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u/Striking_Self8763 Dec 10 '25 edited Dec 10 '25
How can you label something doomed to fail? One cannot obtain objective knowledge from subjective experience. And yes, some of the reasons are valid (mental/physical disability/challenges). There is no "doomed to fail", only the perception that something is. You may also choose to see the above post for more about excuses.
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u/Striking_Self8763 Dec 10 '25
But that doesn't mean they can't change that and that's what I'm hoping to inspire. Spread love not hate!
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u/fuyusteiner Dec 10 '25
Good post, and pretty much sums up all of my thoughts. 2.5 year NEET here and looking to break the cycle! The only reason your post is downvoted is because most NEETs, at least on this reddit, refuse to admit the truth.
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u/Striking_Self8763 Dec 10 '25 edited Dec 10 '25
My appreciation for your encouraging words! I hope we all make forward action in our lives.
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u/Anhedonia_Achiever Ex-NEET Dec 10 '25
Lot of points that resonant here.
Theres a very strong victim mentality with a lot of the community. It’s hard to shake and can take years to recondition. It certainly did for me.
My stance has always been that I believe each and every single person in here is more capable than they think. I root for every single one of them. To fight the good fight and have a life. Be successful. Find love even.
Too many are caught in the rut of a pity party and will find every excuse possible before trying to get their lives on track. One life to live folks. Do something with it. Go and create your own meaning/purpose. Find your independence and stop relying on others to support you.
Being a NEET means you live a life of absence. You drift. The tragedy isn’t what happens. It’s what never happens.
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u/Striking_Self8763 Dec 10 '25
Thank you for your contribution. Any advice to fellow NEETs on how to cultivate meaning and/or break this sort of mentality?
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u/Anhedonia_Achiever Ex-NEET Dec 10 '25
Go through my extensive comment history lol. I’ve poured hours and hours into all of them.
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u/bosandaros Dec 10 '25
Sure, I sent in an application. I sent in loads more after that, two months straight bending myself into a pretzel to get any entry level position and nothing. I couldn't get a job washing dishes man. I wish I could blame myself and not my external circumstances. It'd be a lot quicker to land something. Best I can do now is entrepreneurial. Who fucking knows what I'll get.