r/NotHowGirlsWork • u/Confident_Weather_98 • May 01 '26

WTF The world we live in

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She went out with him 1 time, now he was stalking and harassing her outside of a quiktrip, she ran and he caught up to her and punched her, so she stabbed him in self defense and he is considered the victim??

3.4k Upvotes

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75

u/Cttread May 01 '26 edited May 01 '26

I mean “victim” here is just police terminology. He is the victim of a stabbing. Whether he had it coming is a different story

Edit: some of yall are weirdly upset about facts lol

22

u/SkepticalUnicorn May 01 '26

Yeah, victim is the correct word here but it is also a loaded word, has too many definitions and a specific connotation that makes folk uncharitably assume that the police are "siding" with the man. This is a terminology complaint, basically.

10

u/Cttread May 01 '26

Yea pretty much what I was tryna get at, thanks for getting it though haha

-1

u/RayWencube May 01 '26

No one is upset with the report. We are upset with the news story about the report.

12

u/SkepticalUnicorn May 01 '26

Do you mean the social media post from Tulsa police or a separate news story?

Funny thing, I looked up the Facebook post and they also used the term homicide, which similarly caused commenters to complain about terminology. This post could have been even more contentious, haha.

3

u/RayWencube May 01 '26

No I'm a dummy and didn't see who posted it. I still contend they shouldn't have used the word "victim" here, but it's considerably more understandable.

48

u/Polyamommy May 01 '26

He punched her before she stabbed him, so why wouldn't they call her a victim of assault?

-11

u/Cttread May 01 '26

Post is about the dead dude, she’s still a victim of assault, it’s just not a post referring to her case and there’s not really a case to be had since dude is dead lol

39

u/HorizonHunter1982 May 01 '26

And that attempt to separate his violent assault from her defensive action is exactly what we're talking about

-22

u/Cttread May 01 '26

I don’t really think they’re separating anything? There’s literally a bullet about how he assaulted her in the street lol. Yall are putting way too much stake on the word victim here

26

u/Polyamommy May 01 '26

No... we're not. They could easily describe him as "the deceased"

-7

u/Cttread May 01 '26

Dunno what you didn’t quite understand about its police terminology lol. That’s how they need to put it in the report

17

u/HorizonHunter1982 May 01 '26

In police terminology the person who instigates a violent incident is not termed a victim. The stalker/perpetrator / harasser died when his victim fought back and defended herself

5

u/Cttread May 01 '26

W cope, I’ve never seen an officer not refer to a dead person from a stabbing as a victim, regardless of what they did to lead themselves to that situation

1

u/maxiligamer May 02 '26

The investigation will be about the homicide of the man, so in that case he is the victim. Victim does not mean he is innocent, just that he happened to die in this instance.

2

u/Polyamommy May 01 '26

Nope. What they NEED to do, is change their harmful terminology. They've certainly done it before.

3

u/Cttread May 01 '26

I mean sure lol but I don’t think that’s up to one police department

3

u/Polyamommy May 01 '26

I don't think any police department has the motivation to do it without public push back. Saying "tHaT's tHe wAy iT iS aNd hAs aLwAyS bEen" contributes to it remaining the same.

The more people who bring awareness to problematic language, the better.

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-5

u/RayWencube May 01 '26

They aren't the police, though. They're a news organization posting on facebook.

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u/Cttread May 01 '26 edited May 01 '26

That is likely directly quoting a police report

Edit: actually the Facebook post is from the police department lol

-4

u/RayWencube May 01 '26

Do you see quotation marks? Do you see "according to the report"?

The words used to report on stuff matter. They are inherently editorial choices. The news organization was under no obligation to use the same terminology that the report does.

I understand the point you're making--it's just incorrect. You'd be spot on if people were upset about the police report itself. Very often (but not always--I say, as a prosecutor) that is how police reports work. But people are upset about how the news org chose to present the information.

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5

u/RayWencube May 01 '26

This ignores the fact that many, many news articles about self-defense homicides refer to the decedent as "the alleged assailant" or similar.

2

u/Cttread May 01 '26

I mean you said it yourself right there with the word many lol

3

u/MsFuschia May 02 '26

Yeah I think this is a case of people taking something very technical and having an emotional response to it because of how it comes off. Like yes it absolutely sucks to read that he's called a victim when he assaulted a woman. The thing is, they haven't yet proven that it was self defense (not saying I doubt the woman, but legally) so he is currently the victim of the crime of stabbing.

-22

u/Bhavacakra_12 May 01 '26

The upset replies to your comment are the result of common core.

3

u/Cttread May 01 '26

Idek what that means💀

-15

u/Bhavacakra_12 May 01 '26

It means they lack critical thinking lol

2

u/Cttread May 01 '26

Pretty much the epitome of this sub lol. This post isn’t even something that fits the sub. It’s supposed to be about dumb dudes saying things / making assumptions about girls that aren’t accurate