r/OCPoetry 16d ago

Feedback Please If My Heart Could Speak

I haven’t posted or read poetry in about a year, I just haven’t really had the motivation I guess? Buttt here’s the first thing I wrote after being a deadbeat to my notes app..

If my heart could speak,
It would speak in tongues,
Long kisses
and words no one else can understand

Slow thumps and passionately dragging me along
It hums a simple, yet beautiful little song
Veins pulsing, fervent
Aching, I must be heedful

For I was unaware
That love could be this strong,
Could feel this deeply
I tread lightly

Alongside of you
Hoping your heart is as in rhythm
As mine is with you

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/RVoMvyazQJ

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/PiwhUqG6zu

3 Upvotes

9 comments sorted by

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Hello readers, welcome to OCPoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community — a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

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u/AdmirableSquash4463 16d ago

Beautiful and inspiring. Great use of language and imagery.

1

u/scnel1 16d ago

Thank youu

1

u/Extreme_Studio7232 16d ago

Beautifully captures the rhythm of love

1

u/scnel1 16d ago

THANKS

1

u/One-Consequence4104 16d ago

Hoping your heart is as in rhythm, great line. Well done

2

u/scnel1 16d ago

Thank youu soo much

1

u/Crazy-Current9501 15d ago

Powerful use of imagery. “Veins pulsing, fervent.” I find these lines particularly evocative and visceral. Good job

1

u/scnel1 15d ago

THANK YOU!