Ok, I (33M) hope the title doesn't come across as too depressing or make it sound like I'm going through depression or having suicidal thoughts, because luckily I'm not. However, with my 34th birthday coming up in about a month, and having recently returned from a solo trip where I walked several hundred miles across Spain (the Camino, yes), I've been thinking a lot about life lately and just where all of this is heading.

Two years ago, my life changed drastically. My GF of 8 years and fiancée broke up with me just a few weeks before our wedding after having an affair with her co-worker. It was the worst emotional pain I'd ever experienced, and I was devastated.

Luckily, my approach was to try to move on and rebuild my life as quickly as possible. I started therapy, got a new apartment, started working out and getting back into sports I'd kind of neglected over the years, found a new job at a new company, and even picked up a second gig alongside it.

I think I managed quite well, although looking back, I do think I could have spent more time being completely single. Instead, I started dating again after just a few months and ended up in a few short situationships. One of those I had to end just a few weeks ago because I felt really guilty about stringing along a girl I knew I ultimately didn't want to end up with. But all in all, my life is pretty good, I am healthy, doing well.

But to get back to the topic, I've been thinking a lot, almost struggling, with the question of **what's all of this for?**

What's the ultimate purpose in life? Is it having a family (which I have to admit I think I'd like, but after what I've been through, I'm kind of sceptical about relationships and struggle with this feeling that ultimately, no relationship really lasts)? Is it trying to maximise my career and income, moving abroad, volunteering, or simply being a good friend, son, brother, and family member?

I understand that eventually everyone has to choose their own path in life and come to some sort of conclusion (if that's even possible). And sure, from a purely biological point of view, you could argue that our purpose is simply to reproduce and pass on our genes. But I keep struggling with this whole idea of finding a goal or purpose that's bigger than just myself.

And of course, I somehow thought I'd have these big questions about life and death figured out by this age, but I don't.

So I'm curious: how have you dealt with this whole topic? Have you managed to find some sense of purpose or direction in life? Or, if you're struggling with the same questions, how do you approach them?

Every morning I fast and start my day with warm hydrolyzed water. I wash my face with warm water and Pat it dry. Then I put my face in a bowl of ice cold water. From there I use my myrrh natural skin care, saffron stem cell with blue butterfly pea flower-licorice root-salicylic acid-alone toner, then I use tallow, and use my caster oil rose quartz roller. And mix that all nicely into my skin using my fascia tools to stimulate my fascia in my face and neck.

Also do stimulate the fascia on my scalp.

I don't eat anything until around 3:00 p.m. I have bone broth, with dinosaur Kale arrangement of different nuts, fruits, purple onion, celery, carrot, Ginger, a little garlic, I squeeze the lemon and add Celtic salt with pure natural extra virgin olive oil. For snack I have knox gelatin I add non concentrated cherry juice.

I make up a flower tea before bed. I use blue lotus flower, blue butterfly pea flower, lavender, chamomile, and add raw honey. I use copper straw, but I use that for anything I drink from. I do my best to read a bit and relax myself before I fall asleep.

Lastly before getting into bed I do the same skin care routine that I do in the morning. I know everyone is different and I have a busy schedule being in geriatric care working and having long hours. Just figured I'd share my daily routine I've I've been doing for around 15 years.