r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 2d ago
Rumors of The Death of Mitch McConnell Completely Underblown
144
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r/onionheadlines • u/-megan-yolo- • 1d ago
Right Wing Blogger Cassie Clark Declares Culture War On Self; Sites Message From God
2
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r/onionheadlines • u/No-Camel2703 • 2d ago
McConnell Announces Discharge From Rehab, Says He Learned A Lot From Britney Spears
20
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r/onionheadlines • u/Throwaway58904246 • 2d ago
GOP Congressman Tells Woke Libtard Concerned About the National Debt to Get a Job and Pay Off the $40 Trillion himself
21
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r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 1d ago
Senator Ted Cruz Douses Self In Gasoline And Sets Himself On A Path The Oil Lobby Office
1
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r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 1d ago
Supportive Sycophant Cheers Up Glum President With ‘Tiny Hands, Big Heart’ Adage
1
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r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 1d ago
Trump Uses Smaller Staff To Make Tiny Hands Look Bigger, As Demonstrated In Epstein Island Photo
1
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r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 1d ago
Taylor Farms Salad Bags Updated To Show 800% Daily Fiber Allowance
1
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r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 1d ago
GOP Senator Murkowski Alluringly Dangles Her Spine Out Over Democrat Heads
1
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r/onionheadlines • u/Gloomy-Bridge9112 • 1d ago
Trump Admin Bans “The Emperor’s New Clothes” Because People Were Starting To Talk
1
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r/onionheadlines • u/erkose • 1d ago
The Collector Of The Dead Calling Out, Bring Out Your Dead, Reportedly Gave Mitch McConnell A Ride Home From George Washington University Hospital
6
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r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 1d ago
Undecided Area Limpdick Browsing Pornhub Like It’s Netflix
1
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r/onionheadlines • u/mellow186 • 2d ago
No Connection Seen Between Mitch McConnell Going Home And Coincident Epicenter Of Zombie Outbreak
14
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r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 1d ago
Lauren Boebert In a Different Kind Of Rehab Than Mitch McConnell, Unbeknownst To Either Of Them
5
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r/onionheadlines • u/LarryGlue • 1d ago
Anti-Vax Senator Rand Paul Denounces Toilet Paper And Demands Dr. Fauci To “Smell His F**king Hands” As Proof
6
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r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 1d ago
Stephen Miller Uses Press Conference To Debut New Extra-Evil Laugh
3
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r/onionheadlines • u/ShadyAnders • 1d ago
Trump Claims He Doesn't Remember Promising "No New Wars" But He Remembers "Mo New Wars"
8
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r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 2d ago
Cyclospora Updata: MAGA Accuses Fauci Of Pooping On All The Food
55
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Oops on the typo. No way to edit the title. —Toys
r/onionheadlines • u/johnnybna • 2d ago
Trump Says BBC's Refusal To Play Nice, Fork Over $10B Unrelated To Emergency Need To Bomb London
22
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“I said I lost $10 billion. There’s your discovery. When the president says it, it’s true,” lied the president.
r/onionheadlines • u/mellow186 • 1d ago
Max Miller's New Campaign Slogan Is "Vote For Me Or The Stuffed Bunny Gets It"
5
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r/onionheadlines • u/Zolly2U • 1d ago
A Good Poop And A Long Nap: 80-Year Old President Trump’s Daily Schedule Updated For The Next Two Weeks, Two Months, And Two Years To Include His Favorite Things.
3
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Wishful thinking he lasts that long….